Wedgies of Wisdom–June Gets Nosy

Who is irking me?

Irk
Francis and his huge self, that's who.

He LOUNGES all over the computer, and RUBS his annoying head on the top of the screen, pushing it back so I cannot see, and he Googles SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS or 11111111111111111111 and I know he doesn't really want to look either of those up. Because I've asked him what he wants with those sites. And he didn't have an intelligent answer.

He is totally in.my.way. Bugging me.

Anyway, it's Tuesday, which means it's Pieces of Wisdom day. Really, you all gave me a lot of wisdom yesterday when I asked how to get soap scum off the shower door. How come no one answered, "Just leave it there" which would be my answer? Everyone stampeded in with a solution. As if you had already worked on it.

I asked Marvin if we could take the stupid shower door down and get a shower curtain, which I infinitely prefer, and he said yes, so that is how we are solving the shower door dilemma.

How to get soap scum off the shower door? Remove the door and throw it out. Problem solved.

So, seeing as we already exchanged wisdom this week, I was kind of stuck for what to ask today. Marvin was leashing up an hysterical Tallulah this morning, who was on her way to day care, where she has already bullied a Boxer puppy (Marvin called to tell me. We really have to take her back to that trainer lady. The one who made me cook liver. Tallulah is a jerk).

Anyway, I was making coffee as he was lassoing the dog, and I said, "What should I ask for Wedges of Wisdom today?"

"Ask to see people's medicine cabinets," said Marvin, who is nosy.

He really is. Marvin feels perfectly entitled to listen in to people's conversations (he used to stand on our dining room table with a glass on the ceiling to hear our upstairs neighbor), or look through their things if we are house sitting (won't you ask us soon?), or report to me any hugely personal info he happened to see that he shouldn't have.

("I saw Hoo-de-hoo and Hoe-de-Hoe's tax documents while I was in the bathroom," he'll say. "Do you know they make $800,000 a year?"

"How did you see their tax documents in the bathroom?"

"I didn't see them in the bathroom. Gross. I saw them in the den. Which was right near the bathroom. If they didn't want people to SEE that stuff they wouldn't have it right out like that.")

So, Marvin wants to see your medicine cabinets for Pieces of Wedges of Wedgies of Wisdom Wednesdays.

Medicine

Here is ours. I took a better picture, where the bottom shelf is not cut off, but you have no idea how much trouble this stupid stupid stupid computer is giving me today. Anyway, there is my trusted Nair, which stops me from being a walrus, and our very minty Crest, because for me toothpaste cannot be minty and strong enough. I like it to burn like a  dragon.

Also, we have many Bath and Body Works products because someone at school gave Marvin a bunch for Christmas last year. I keep stealing the antibacterial and go ahead and tell me how antibiotics won't work on me.

Oh, also too, there is my thermometer, which I use 748 times a week.

Down below is my root touchup stick that you all thought was a vibrator, because you are all sick sick people.

Send me your medicine cabinet picture, and a link to your blog if you have one, and I will put it up tomorrow.

Also, Marvin would like to come to dinner soon. He has looked at your online calendar and knows you are free net week.

56 thoughts on “Wedgies of Wisdom–June Gets Nosy

  1. Silly boys and girls thinking that the root touchup stick was your vibrator .. EVERYone should know that you keep that in your bedroom. Have a grand day June! :o)

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  2. Okay, I posted a picture of our medicine drawer on my blog for nosy Marvin. You can click on my link below if you are so inclined to see what kind of toothpaste we use.
    On the way there, Marvin can check out my pay stub and be way less jealous than he was of your other friends.
    I was going to clean the kitchen floor today, but maybe it will be easier if I just have it removed. I like the way you guys think.

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  3. All right, darn it! I don’t have a medicine cabinet, but I do have a medicine closet and it’s as usual a mess, so you all will get to see my clutter.
    Marvin would be so busted if he came to our house.
    We have an antique dresser we converted into a sink in our powder bath. The drawers had to be cut out to accommodate the sink. Even though it looks like drawers from the outside, there’s nothing on the inside. And when you pull on the drawers, they fall out and it is nearly impossible to get them back in. My husband has some trick to put them back in and he’s the only one I’ve ever seen who can fix the drawers. We should have nailed them shut a long time ago, but every time I mention it, my husband refuses because he says he wants to catch the snoopers.
    It never fails, any time a guest uses that bathroom, they come out and slink away and the drawers are just hanging there as proof of their guilt.

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  4. Sorry, Marv. I don’t have a medicine cabinet.
    But, I’ll dish some information for you. Hubby uses Pepsodent toothpaste because it doesn’t burn like a dragon because he is sensitive and dainty.
    Me, I use whatever sample I snagged from the dentist. I am currently using the kids Hello Kitty bubble gum flavored toothpaste because I just used up my latest free sample.

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  5. I’m away on my anniversary holiday,which is so exciting that I’m sitting here looking in June’s medicine cabinet, so I can’t send you a picture of what’s in mine. You really don’t want to know. Well, Marvin does, apparently.
    Here at the lakeside condo, under the sink right now are some extra towels, a package of makeup remover wipes and my hairdryer. Booyah.
    P.S. I had to remove the old nasty husband in the just same manner.

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  6. Oh, I LOVE it. I am such a snoop too. I won’t be able to send anything in as I am hopping on a plane this afternoon and won’t be back until tomorrow late at night, but I am sooo excited about the pictures to come. I am so fascinated by what other people have in the bathroom. And maybe people can also send pictures of their kitchen pantry, I like looking in that too. Oh, and Joann, that is just mean! I would have a hearattack if those drawers fell off!

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  7. I’m at work so you’ll have to live without seeing my medicine cabinet. There is nothing interesting in there anyway.
    But I want to comment on how you got rid of your shower door with a related story.
    When my parents moved out of our old house, my dad ran into the new owner months later. She said to him, “Did you know the basement floods?” “Yes,” said my father of many words. “What did you do to fix it?” “I sold the house.”

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  8. I love Marvin’s idea but I can’t send a picture as our laptop got stolen last Thursday, along with the wire for my camera and a lot of other stuff that should not have been in the laptop bag. I am still not over it, all my photos – learn from my mistake guys and back up your computers. NOW.
    You know, you can probably learn a lot about someone from the contents of their medicine cabinet! Mine his the home to an embarassing number of cosmetics including a gazillion bottles of shampoo/conditioner as I always stock up when they’re on special. That shows I’m organised and also an impulse-buyer(?). And also pink sparkely band-aids, a must have for any girl. That shows I’m willing to spend three times the normal price if something is pink and sparkely. Uh-Oh.

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  9. Oh, and I also agree with Dawn and Hulk that the shower door/curtain trick works on nasty exes. And I like my shower curtain better than any of them.(Exes. Not Dawn and Hulk, who are lovely.)

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  10. Next time company comes over I’m so going to rig my cabinet up with one of those snake in a can type things that pops out when you remove the lid (open the cabinet). Bazinga, Marvin!

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  11. There are very few things in our medicine cabinet so I won’t bother you with a photo. There’s a contact lens case, contact lens solution, toothpaste, and dental floss in there. We keep the embarrassing and incriminating stuff spread out between a wall cabinet in the bathroom, our bedroom, and a shelf in one of our kitchen cabinets.

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  12. If I knew how to include my photo, I would. I’d probably change it daily. Just to upset Junie.

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  13. Oh, Talu, taking down a boxer puppy is not a good idea. I told Cosmo, he drooled. I told Lucy, and the next thing you knew (not Jed’s a millionare), she swatted Cosmo and growled “I can take that bitch”.

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  14. Your medicine cabinet is quite clean! I don’t have one just a large built-in cabinet with towels and all the essentials of a woman. My husband has a drawer, yep, one drawer.

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  15. I totally get Marvin. When I was little, my sister and I used to LOVE visiting with granny and grampa cos gramps had a pair of binoculars, and lived on the eleventh flour of an apartment building. So we used to turn off the bedroom lights and kneel down by the window and spy on people in the opposite building. We never got to see anything really, not even open bathroom cabinets, but oh the thrill! I still get that nosy feeling but don’t act on it anymore, cos I would hate for those wheels to come around and have someone snoop my stuff! Willing self-disclosure is something else altogether, and I just might send a photo!

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  16. Ha! I took out shower door and put in clear shower curtain, too. The shower is much more pleasant now. However, it did not help me gain any success with Nair, which stubbornly refuses to work for me. Ever. Stupid Nair.
    Our medicine cabinets are Boring, Very Boring Indeed. Marvin would fall asleep looking at the photos, were I to take some.

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  17. I know why snooping is not my thing. At a very young age when I was visiting my grandmother’s house I noted a very pretty wood box adorned with a cross that hung above the cot where I slept. Raised Catholic I knew what I was about to do was a sin, yet that box was calling me, I had to be snoopy and see what it held. (After all a pentenance of a few Hail Mary’s would be so worth it) The contents (candles, a glass fluid filled bottle, cloth, and instructions) scared the hell out of me! What kind of hocus-pocus was going on in this household!! I saw the words “sick call and last rites.” I casually asked my mother what “last rites” meant. The only word that stuck in my head was death. Now I just knew someone must have killed grandpa with the contents of the box because he used to sleep in that room. For many years I would not sleep in that room, the death room. Thus ended my snooping. Well, unless you count unwrapping of Christmas gifts to take a quick peek and then acting all sorts of surprised on the big day snooping.

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  18. I can’t send you a picture of my cabinet since everything has my name and address on it. Yes, I’m a prescriped drugs hoarder! My sweet sweet tootache codeine is sat next to an entire course of antibiotics I didn’t take. I put this just-in-case attitude down to my childhood in India, monsoons and riots can upset pharmacy supplies at the same time as people getting injured/infected.
    My mum blames all those zombie movies I’ve watched.

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  19. Dear Original Joann,
    I passed your message on and she glared, but don’t worry: she has a very wimpy glare (mine is MUCH scarier) and I think we’re okay as long as she doesn’t start making therapist-face. She then said she was willing to call a truce on the condition that I discontinue referring to her as a menopausal maniac on my blog, which I’ve only done a few times for pete’s sake.
    She is holding fast on the medicine cabinet issue, however, and I’m considering mentioning the sex toys (which I’m not supposed to know exist) to gain a bit of leverage, but I think I’ll wait because if I do it before dinner she’ll retaliate by trying to teach me how to cook something while she lectures me about the moral implications of being a snoop.
    Also, she was totally closed-minded about the idea of me just describing the stuff on our shelves, because apparently she feels self-conscious about “being 48 and suddenly needing zit cream again for the first time in thirty years, dammit.” I suggested perhaps she should be more self-conscious about the twenty-seven different kinds of bandaids, whereupon she took off her socks and balled them together and threw them at me.
    I am counting this as a win, and fully expect to be able to post a photo very soon.
    Non-obnoxiously,
    Siren

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  20. I love Marvin. Such a yenta. And I love Francis.
    I raced right home to take a picture of my medicine cabinet, which I have just emailed you. I am not a good photographer and I don’t know why it looks like God is hiding back there, what with the light coming from behind.
    (I know SOME people who balance marbles on the edges of the shelves of the medicine cabinet so when Nosy Parker goes snooping, crash boom, marbles into the sink, BUSTED.)

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  21. I love Marvin. Such a yenta. And I love Francis.
    I raced right home to take a picture of my medicine cabinet, which I have just emailed you. I am not a good photographer and I don’t know why it looks like God is hiding back there, what with the light coming from behind.
    (I know SOME people who balance marbles on the edges of the shelves of the medicine cabinet so when Nosy Parker goes snooping, crash boom, marbles into the sink, BUSTED.)

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  22. I love Marvin. Such a yenta. And I love Francis.
    I raced right home to take a picture of my medicine cabinet, which I have just emailed you. I am not a good photographer and I don’t know why it looks like God is hiding back there, what with the light coming from behind.
    (I know SOME people who balance marbles on the edges of the shelves of the medicine cabinet so when Nosy Parker goes snooping, crash boom, marbles into the sink, BUSTED.)

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  23. Uno. I got your back in a fight, Joann. My biceps are fierce. Every time we boxed, my trainer would wince . And he is a seriously built 6’4″ hunk of man.
    Next. Would somebody please have June fix the word “net” in “net week”. I’m pretty sure it is supposed to be “next”. But I could be wrong.
    Thrice. I will be sending on my pics of our medicine cabinets later tomorrow. Our computer that has Photoshop on it bit the dust and Terra is going to send them from work.

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  24. If I would have read this earlier I would have sent you a picture of my janky medicine cabinet – it’s not all clean like yours. But I am off for a walk (damn diet and exercise) and then collapse in front of the TV. But I can’t wait to see what everyone else is hoarding in their medicine cabinets.

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  25. First of all I want to know if you and Marv are getting High on your Robotussin DM? It was on the Today Show that kids were getting high on cough syrup. Hell yeah what else do you do in a small “dry” town on Saturday night? (for those of you who don’t know what “dry” means it means they don’t sell al-key-hall of any kind.)
    Ok so this is what I have in my medicine drawer because I do not have a cabinet. I have 1 bottle and 1 tube of Camphonique, 1 bottle of Rolaides, 1 box of band-aides that glow in the dark, 1 bottle of tea tree oil and some vitamin e oil, oh and a nettie pot and some saline solution. It also contains some Dr. Brown’s all natural toothpaste, a deoderant crystal and some MAGIC to take the hairs from my nether regions.

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  26. No house I have owned has had a medicine cabinet. I can’t tell you how annoying that is. We do have a cabinet over the toilet, it mostly has tp and lady items in it along with a toilet bowl cleaner and clorox wipes. We keep some meds in a kitchen cabinet but we are not big med users at all.

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  27. Amber, if you want it I will send it to you. I am allergic to scents. Also, time is up for sending me pics. Am over here struggling with the pics I have with this stupid stupid stupid George Washington called molasses called Land of the Lost called computer. daddy, do something! Ahhhhh!

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  28. No medicine cabinet here. I do have a container under the sink with mostly band-aids and antibiotic cream, gauze and paper tape, poison ivy cream, which I’m having to use at the moment, and aloe gel. The drawer in the kitchen has Tylenol, antibiotics and vitamins, lots of vitamins. It would be very boring for Marvin.
    Cats are so fun. My cats always loved the computer keyboard, especially if I was trying to type and the newspaper if we were trying to read it.

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  29. If Marvin can’t come up with anything for next week might I suggest we look in people’s refrigerators? Or maybe in their purses? Or how about their junk drawer!!! Not that Marvin or I would be interested in any of that. Clearly.

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  30. Good thing time is up cuz I ain’t sending one. My medicine cabinet is filled with medicine. Because we are old people with heart issues and insomnia.

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