And the check June picked was…


Oui, oui, mon chere. Crepe Suzette! Poodle! French toast.

Yes, I am fluent in French. Hence the French checks. And do you like how I cleverly painted over my name and account number? I am Fort Knox. But I'm French, so I'm Forte Knoxe.

So for those of you who guessed the French check, or cheque, you are correct.

And really? Puppies? Really? I mean, I know I like Tallulah and all, and I ask for a new puppy 6,385 times a day, but do I really seem like a PUPPY CHECK person to you? I never.

I did a random number pickerizer and the winner of the contest is Gra, which means I have to send a bacon tuxedo jigsaw puzzle to fricken Ireland. But I am happy to do it, Gra. This is the price you pay when you are so worldy, so welcome, like June is. Plus also, if I suck up to you enough you will invite me to visit and then I can just hop over to Paris from your house. That's easy to do, right?

So give me your address. I will also send you some nice Irish Spring. Because I know how the Irish enjoy them the Irish Spring.

My father really nailed it best, though. He emailed me and said, "I bet you picked the Eiffel Tower or else the gardening checks" and in fact I was IRKED when I went online to show you potential checks and saw that Marjoleen Bastien had garden checks, because I totally would have picked those. So dad was right. But he's not getting any tuxedo bacon puzzle.

He would never play with it, for one thing, and also he did not leave a comment. So he was not even up for selection by the random pickerizer.

Also, I do really love Bugs Bunny, and to prove it to you, here is a nine-second Porky Pig cartoon. Which I know is not Bugs, but I love the whole genre. Believe it or not this cartoon was actually shown in theaters, even though it has a shocking word in it.

Now that I have rocked your world with that, and you are crying in your morning beer over not winning the coveted bacon tuxedo jigsaw puzzle, I guess the only thing to do is tell you about my dessert night with Faithful Reader Laurie.

Faithful Reader Laurie, one of the 204850149 Lauries who comments on this blog, lives locally. We met at a party at The Nester's a few months back and since she has big hair, we bonded immediately.

Tonight we got up with each other, as they say here, and had us some desserts.

Do you think she is going to unlike me now because I said she has big hair? But look how she has pretty ringlet-y curls, whereas I always just had large puffs of frizz.


Here we are together, and do you like how I have managed to get my whole head in there, and just barely eeked hers in the corner, like a bug? Have I mentioned she is going to unlike me?

Laurie is a professional photographer, which is why she was drawn to my blog of course, and also she is a medical person. She does not specifically say on her blog what she does in the medical profession so I am not giving it away here, but suffice it to say I may hire her to just hang around me all the time.

After our hummingbird and cheesecake (yes, she got hummingbird cake. No, it was not made from real hummingbirds. I asked), we both had to go to the grocery store. I needed something for heartburn, and she needed toilet paper and plastic wrap.

God, we're glamorous.

So that was my night. Thank heavens I put on my bacon tuxedo, just in case.

0 thoughts on “And the check June picked was…

  1. OH MY GAWWD!!!!!! I can’t believe I have won! Haha, bet you’re over the moon you get to send it all the way to Ireland! Seriously, I think you should pick out another name coz I don’t know how much it costs to send a bacon-tuxedo puzzle to Ireland but I can imagine it costs a lot, I’m just happy to have won!
    And of course you’re invited to visit – Paris is practically just around the corner. Hmm. You can use some of your Gay Paree checks in Gay Paree. And in not so gay but very gay-friendly Dublin. By the way I saw a drunk dressed as a leprechaun on my way into work this morning – just one example of the many visual treats awaiting you in Dublin.
    Ps – I love faithful reader Laurie’s big hair.


  2. Well, I NEVER! I thought you got the puppy checks (or cheques) because Meany Pants Marvin would not let you have a puppy.
    Sitting here, feeling so unwordly, so unsophisticated after reading about your high brow time out with Faithful Reader Laurie. I aspire to be both of you.


  3. Gra, I have totally got an annoying care package for you in my mind, fill of things Americans think are irish. Is there anything youd like me to export that you have always wanted from here? Space Food Sticks? A bald eagle? A Rush t-shirt, since sadly I am attending a Rush concert this weekend


  4. Fine then, you just have a grand time with your fancy french checks while all those cute little puppy faces sit all alone and neglected.
    Thanks for Porky. Made me laugh out loud even though I’m still half asleep.


  5. Wow June, I’ve always wanted a bald eagle wearing a teeny tiny Rush t-shirt, how did you know?! Haha!
    Seriously, It’s mad how excited I am about winning – this has made my day!!


  6. I can’t beLIEVE I didn’t win.
    Son of a B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B Gun…


  7. And Keebler cookies are made by ELVES…
    Lucky Charms are magically deelishus…


  8. Huh. Thought I had you nailed. I was oh, so wrong! Ding and also dang.
    Congrats, Gra. By the by, how do you pronounce that? In my head it’s just like it’s spelled, but I guess it could be pronouned like “gray.” Just curious.
    I like zee Tour d’Eiffel cheques, mon ami! Tres bien!


  9. Thanks Your Pal!
    My name is actually Gráinne – it’s an Irish name pronounced Gr-awh-nyeh I guess, depending on your accent! Gra is just short for Grainne and also means love in Irish. Total coincidence as I am mostly not lovely, especially in the mornings.


  10. heh heh – low five… love it Hulk.
    I know it’s also an American breakfast cereal, but I always imagine ‘lucky charms’ is like a euphemism for leprachauns ‘man bits’ or something. Like, as in family jewels – is it just me that thinks that?


  11. Well, in fairness, it is like midnight Gra time. I am sure she is dull as mud in the morning. Oh, and welcome new reader, whose name escapes me because I have a migraine but I think it was Christine.


  12. Dessert-craving satisfaction was fulfiiled last night when I met June at Maxi B’s. The Nester’s chic design style was evident at this friendly and convivial venue. Smart proofreader, June spotted two errors in the menu at first glance!
    Siren- June’s new hairsytle is fabulous!! Even better than shown in the pictures she has shared. Her hair color and smooth style now are both smart and savvy. Glamour. Think red carpet. I think for a MJDI I should shoot an urban photobook of her to share here. Now I know why she is such a fan of pink. She wore a soft pink colored sweater, that oozed sweater kitten.
    Gra- Congrats!! June should add some of that 3-ply toilet paper I picked up last night. (Well, new stuff) Me arse loves 3-ply!
    Mrs. Oh – actually, it was snack size baggies and not plastic wrap. Boring.
    Damn it, maybe we shouldn’t have even discused migranes last night! Power of suggestion is awfully strong.


  13. June, I think it’s nice you are going to a Rush concert for Marvin. Who knows, maybe you’ll have fun.
    And thank you for bacon tuxedo puzzle heads up. I now have it on order to take as my white elephant gift to the Husband’s work Christmas party. It should be a hit.


  14. Ear plugs June. Don’t forget Marvin is deaf. You however unfortunate this one time, have your hearing. Rush. Poor thing.
    I am proud as a peacock to know I picked the right checks. Congrats to Gra for being the Chosen One.


  15. Congrats to the wee Irish lass, Gra! Do the rest of us need to kick in to help with the billion dollar shipping charges? It will be worth it if Gra swears to send a photo journal of her receiving her puzzle and American/Irish goods.
    Good job June on going to the concert with Marvin. I am not as dedicated a wife as you are. When my husband had the opportunity to see his all-time favorite singer, Bob Dylan, I made the kids go with him and I stayed home. We all had a good time that way.


  16. Send more bacon-related items to Gra. Like bacon-muffins…yuck. You’re in the south June, you should have no problem hitting the bacon mother lode.


  17. I don’t like to eat Lucky Charms (and now for a totally new reason), but I will roll on the floor laughing out loud the next time I see that commercial! Gra, you are sooo worthy! But if that inflatable fruitcake hasn’t been sent, it may take a wee little bit o’ time before ye get it.


  18. I went to my bank’s drive-up window on St. Patty’s day this year. The teller apologized for what she felt was too long a wait (I was the only customer). She explained that a robber had been in the bank that morning. Dressed as a leprechaun. (I laughed). He approached the counter, but then left, going to the bank next door, which he did, indeed, rob. There was a police chase. The luck of the Irish was not with Mr. Leprechaun. There was a shooting (which I had heard about at school). Both Mr. Leprechaun and his get-away driver were killed. (At this point, I felt guilty for laughing). These were two college students. It was found that this was not their first heist. It was really a sad story, actually. Leprechauns have a sinister connotation to me now.


  19. I finally caved and looked up Rush on Youtube. I do remember them…sorta. I guess I’ve just blocked them from my memory! With good reason.
    Have fun at the concert! Or not.


  20. Oh so very late to this gay pardee!. But two questions:
    1.) who still uses cheques? I thought they went the way of the buggy whip. I haven’t written an actual check on paper in like six years. Although I will admit my kids mocked me until I gave the practice up and switched to le debit card.
    2.) who buys le paper de toilette six rolls at a time? We go to The Costco and buy le pack that requires le forklift to load it in le car. Much more cost effective and you get a real sense of security having the humongo supply. I commented just the other day on how amusing it was to see a four pack. Why? To keep in the car, maybe?
    So now you know two things that I stockpile: prescription drugs and t.p. But, also – thumbs up on the three ply. That’s a must have in our chateau. Frenchly speaking.


  21. So, what I have learned from the comments today is that leprechaun man bits are made out of marshmallows.
    Which begs the question. are there female leprechauns?


  22. Thanks for all the congratulations! I missed all of the comments as I still have no replacement laptop so work is my only ByeByePie access, it was KILLING me this weekend not being able to read. Need to get me a new laptop asap.
    Lisa Pie – good idea, I will totally get some pics of me and my soon to be most teasured possession, the bacon tuxedo puzzle! Now all I need is a Lady GaGa-esque meat dress to wear for the photots.
    June you are so right, I’m definitely more scary than funny in the mornings!
    Karla, I have never actually heard of girl leprachauns – must be just a boy thing?


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