In which June thinks she’s cooler than Rush fans

Do you want to know who's pretty? People who go to Rush concerts, that's who.

I am certain the folks sashaying into that venue were the same people hitting fashion week in New York. If fashion week suddenly brought the black concert t-shirt and those knee-length jean shorts for men into style.

And when did it become okay to wear the concert t-shirt of the band you are SEEING to the concert?

Oh, looking at Rush fans was fascinating. It was like every guy from high school whose name you never quite knew because he was never at any parties or dances or football games or where the hell did he even eat lunch? all congregated in one spot.

We sat on the lawn. Because we are cheap. Here is a photo of me before the concert, looking anticipatory.

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Or maybe not so much anticipatory as tolerant. Sort of. Ooo! And I just noticed the uncool black woman was captured on film! I'm so excited! See the woman right behind me in the purple and green lawn chair?

I was gonna talk about her and I had no idea we'd taken her photo. I hope she doesn't read this blog.

I could not get enough of watching her once ridiculous Rush hit the stage. Oh, she gyrated. She played air keyboards. And air bass. She was honestly the least-cool black woman you have ever seen. I was riveted.

And I am sorry to stereotype, but how many black women, or black people in general, do you know who are all up into the Rush? I'll bet she was slammin' until the day she found that first album. She probably had boyfriends and nice clothes and maybe even knew you shouldn't air bass. Ever.

At any rate, Marvin enjoyed himself. He did not air anything, thank God. He did get drunk, though. I was wandering around looking at the food because what else was I gonna do, and I noticed they sold Mike's HARDER Lemonade, which is apparently more malt-y than original Mike's Hard lemonade. And you know that is Marvin's manly drink of choice.

So I told him and he dashed over there like he was David Hasselhoff or something. They sold him a GIANT can and I knew we were in trouble. Because Marvin is quite a hardy drinker.

Some teenaged guys came by carrying a sign that read, "Free hugs" and Marvin screamed out that he wanted one. Fortunately they did not hear him. Or perhaps chose to ignore the creepy middle-aged guy with the Mike's can who wanted a free hug. Who else did they think they were gonna give free hugs to at a Rush concert?

So that is the story. All the way home yesterday I had to hear recaps of what Marvin liked at the Rush concert. He kept asking me if I liked how they did this song or that song and I kept having to reiterate to him that I had NO IDEA WHAT ANY OF THE SONGS WERE except for Tom Sawyer. Which explains why all the men were wearing those jean shorts.

Tom-Sawyer

54 thoughts on “In which June thinks she’s cooler than Rush fans

  1. They are called “jorts” according to the urban dictionary and I don’t know how I stumbled onto that information.
    So THAT’S where all the jorts-wearers go.
    And your mom was totally not listening. She just gave you a “uh huh. That’s nice dear.” 😉

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  2. So let me get something straight:
    Those jeans shorts are NOT in style anymore???
    Because I hate those cargo thingys…

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  3. I forgot! I have to tell you this story:
    I took Hulkette to get her soccer pictures taken yesterday. In my jean shorts. At the soccer complex. It was kind of warm here, so there were a bunch of bees buzzing around. I was talking to one of the mothers, with my hands in my jean short pockets, when, all of a sudden…
    I got stung by a bee.
    Right in my man area.
    Right in my right ball.
    Do I need to explain what THAT looked like? Talking to a woman, then suddenly, violently yanking at your crotch??
    So yeah…not a lot of sympathy for your Rush concert…

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  4. June , are you saying your mom isn’t funny? That may have been snark on her part.
    I can’t believe you didn’t get up with that lady and dance and perform. SHE was obviously having a good time…didn’t you want to share in HER good time? And maybe.. Marvin wouldn’t want you to go with him to another Rush concert…of course, ulterior motive. Come on, no one knew you there….’cept for the guy who brought you puppies, who obviously reads this blog. B.

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  5. Oh Hulk! I am so totally laughing WITH you, not AT you. I think.
    The things we do to keep the peace in the household. I joined a gym. So we would have something to do together. I don’t think he knows me. at. all. Gah! But I hate the gym and all that frickin excercise that goes on in there. The things we do for the sake of marriage.
    At least your Rush was only one night. We have a year long membership, thankyouverymuch.

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  6. Ok, so. You may have gone to a RUSH concert to save a marriage, I went to one to START one. I got married on aug 21. On aug 22, with 4 hours of sleep, i went to a RUSH concert. NOTE: was the first day of my HONEYMOON. And the concert was THREE hours long… And had a stupid video at the end. I big heart my husband. Gah.
    (we did leave for Grand Cayman 4 hours AFTER that, but STILL. I want a medal.)

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  7. Dear Hulk,
    Thank you for clarifying which ball. I now have a more robust mental image, and feel I know you better as a person, as well.
    Dear June,
    If all you got out of the concert was that picture of you, it was totally worth it. In fact, I’m going to go look at it one more time so I can leave your blog with that image in my head instead of the one I currently have. Seriously, you look absolutely adorable.

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  8. I do love your hair. Gorgeous!
    Simon & Garfunkel planned a reunion concert for this year. I had tickets. Then Art developed a vocal chord problem and it was first postponed, but then canceled. Sad.

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  9. No, no swelling. Thankfully I am not allergic to bees…
    And I did get it’s number…

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  10. Hulk, while at Comic Con, we saw Penn and Teller. Penn told a story of how they did a commercial where there were bees in a booth with them. He got stung a bunch. They then went and did a show.
    Later that night a thin layer of skin came off of his balls when he took his underwear off in front of his girlfriend. Turned out he was allergic to bees, and that’s a symptom.
    I think your story has a much happier ending.

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  11. Yeeowwie, Hulk! Hate to hear about your pain but let’s turn those lemons (that sounded dirty hehehehe) into lemonade and coin a new saying: “What’s your problem, Carin? Gotta a bee in your balls?”

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  12. So balls are like boobs…individual. Left boob/right ball, etc. Like my father-in-law telling me he had the most excrutiating pain in his LEFT testicle. Like I even want to know that he has testicles.

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  13. I blame Marvin, not Sue, for the Rush concert that’s been playing in my head all weekend. I’m innocently sitting quietly when I realize I’m silently singing Closer to the Heart. Ugh! Of course I don’t remember all of the words so I keep singing the same verse over and over.
    Do you think Mr. Clean’s magic eraser will help?

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  14. Dearest Hulk,
    Jorts are in fact out of style. Not only do they make you look unfashionable, they also make you appear to be a Florida Gators fan. And that is a fate worse than death.
    Here is a video to illustrate:


    Also, in case anyone would like to know LSU fans supposedly smell like corn dogs. I have an LSU friend who does not smell of eau de corn dog, but I cannot speak for the rest of them.

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  15. Oh.my.good.HEAVENS!
    The combination of players here! And Hulk’s fine description of his bee sting! Jorts? hee hee! The name says it all. Nothing fashionable would have the name jort! Dying over here!
    And Siren? Love this comment of yours:
    “Dear Hulk,
    Thank you for clarifying which ball. I now have a more robust mental image, and feel I know you better as a person, as well.”
    Comment of the week? Or maybe Hulk’s description warrants the C.O.T.W.?? Certainly made me giggle!

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  16. June, Jeremy Piven told us in PCU way back in ’94, long before he was Ari Gold to not be that guy..
    Hulk, if you take Lisa Pie’s advice on the minty fresh right ball, you’ll probably increase your odds of getting a lady to kiss it better..

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  17. I vote for Tiffany for comment of the week. Rollin over here!
    June ~ You look fabulous. I really have nothing witty or cute to say about your concert experience. You did make me laugh heartily though.
    Hulk ~ I BELLY LAUGHED out loud (BLOL) at, with, for you over the bee sting. Unfortunately, I have been forced to wear a catheter for the past week or so and my bag completely filled up while laughing.

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  18. You know, I wish I had made these things up…
    Anyone wanna trade lives? Anyone??
    What shorts are in style that go with t-shirts and sports jerseys? And don’t tell me it’s plaid bermuda either…and I don’t wear flip-flops.

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  19. “So I told him and he dashed over there like he was David Hasselhoff or something.” BAH! What a comedienne!
    And plus also too – you still didn’t tell us why you have the Rush shirt on….

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  20. Okay, the Q about the Rush shirt was supposed to be rhetorical. It slayed me when you all tried to answer. Do you really think I have any idea why I got the dang shirt? Which I happen to be wearing at work today? Because nothing says professional like a Rush shirt.

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  21. I was going to comment yesterday that I had Tom Sawyer stuck in my head ALL WEEKEND because of you just mentioning Rush. It finally left today and now it is back. Bee nu ne nu ne nu, bee nu ne nu ne nu…aaahhhhh!!!

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  22. You look disgustingly thin in those jeans and sitting there all cross legged. I could never do that, even as a child. You do look so good in that photo.
    Often there are events/places attended just to be with my husband and ended up watching all the people. The people are more entertaining that the performance on the stage.
    Hulk, ROFL ouch!

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