I am berserk, June's stupid life

Remembering Meadow. Also, I am a stalker.

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Marvin took this photo of Tallulah's and my buttockal regions without our knowing it. Talu thinks her butt looks enormous and she is PISSED at daddy.

Meadow

And does anyone remember that sweet doggie I had for one day, Meadow? I just found the post where I wrote about her. I deleted it, but it remains in Google Reader. Yes, I subscribe to myself. Would marry self if it were legal. Anyway, I had forgotten that her full name was Meadowlark Lemon, and I am even more in love with self than before. Also too also plus, I can totally see that she was a Beagle, can't you? Probably a Beagle/Jack Russel. God help us, having our first dog be that combo. It is hard enough having a stubborn Tallulah. But look at her. It was her ear that did me in.

In the meantime, I have large plans this weekend. I am going to clean up our yard! I know! I was expecting a house guest but she canceled, because everyone hates us and we suck, also she is in med school and her life is unpredictable, but mostly we suck. Anyway, now that I have a guest-free, Rush-free weekend, I cannot wait to get out there and pull weeds and put down wood chips and maybe even try to plant grass in the shady part of our back yard that is bare and depressing. Yes, I KNOW they made grass seed for shade. I wish one more person would tell me that.

My friend the Other June may stop by to keep me company while I pull and tug and grunt and sweat. Also while I work in the yard. BAH!

My other plan for the weekend is I am sorry to tell you that I had to take an Ex-Lax last night. If I emailed Marvin at work about my hard, angry pellets one more time he was gonna block my address. So I think I will be seeking the Oval Office quite a bit, if you know what I'm saying.

June's blog. Where you come for elegance.

Oh! Also too, today is the wedding day of my favorite blogger, and I do not wish to mention her name in case anyone should take this information and go to her wedding and kill her or give her a swirly in the Oval Office or whatever. But I am sorry to tell you that I looked up the weather for her city to make sure today would be lovely, and there is a 30% chance of rain. I actually sat here and felt worried sick about the 30% chance of rain.

You guys. I have never met this blogger in my life. We had one email exchange in 2007 back before I realized how huge she was in blogging, and I thought you just, you know EMAILED huge important bloggers. And she WROTE ME BACK. That, my friends, is the difference between a nice blogger and a snooty one.

Now everyone who has ever emailed me and I haven't written back is calling me a snoot. I get a LOT of EMAILS from all y'all! I answer you in my mind, but I get busy.

The point of my story is, she has ceased blogging, so I shouldn't even know about her wedding anyway. I just do because I Googled her name and found her wedding website. And since I don't KNOW her, why am I worried about her rain?

Am I berserk? Do I need psychological help? About this, I mean.

Okay. I am off to clean the yard. Am totally NOT gonna go crash a wedding of a person I have never met. Nope. Even though if I got in the car RIGHT NOW, in my nightgown, I could make it to her wedding on time today. Am not going to do.

Comment of the Week is Dawn in Austin. Go, Dawn!

44 thoughts on “Remembering Meadow. Also, I am a stalker.”

  1. I wanna know tooo!! I love love love her. Not that I’m a stalker or anything. I wish she would blog again. I read her old stuff again just so I can laugh.

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  2. Since we’re talking about stalking…
    Remember that email I sent you a while ago about a different blogger that I started stalking? The one who hadn’t updated in forever? I found out that she had a facebook and had a gazillion friends….so I added her as a friend so I could see her pictures.

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  3. Dear Cab,
     
    I wrote the post in February of 2008. I deleted it because it broke my heart so, having to give her up. I do not like to talk about it. Fortunately, someone who reads my blog offered to take her, and when I called the Humance Society, she had already been adopted after, like, two days.
     

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  4. Oh, the Oval Office! Too funny!
    One word – Miralax. Works great, non-addictive, totally safe, and no cramping. My son had serious constipation issues from birth (common w/ autism for some reason) and Miralax totally saved us. He was one unhappy kiddo before Miralax. It’s an over-the-counter medication now. He had to take it daily for almost two years and now only needs it occasionally – YEAA!!!

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  5. Since it’s TMI at the pie day, I have to ask, how do you take exlax and not get doubled over with stomach cramps? Pellets or cramps, I’m not sure which is worse.

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  6. Your Mom is so thoughtful. She brought you into this world….ohhhh now I have images of birthing….and sex….

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  7. Your Mom is so thoughtful. She brought you into this world….ohhhh now I have images of birthing….and sex….

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  8. Your Mom is so thoughtful. She brought you into this world….ohhhh now I have images of birthing….and sex….

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  9. A prune a day , no hard pellets, no stoppage uppage, no visiting oval thrown repeatedly.
    They do make grass seed for the shade. Heeeeeeeeee. Just fulfilling your wish , your highness. And Meadow was a beauty.

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  10. Wow, dropping the kids off at the pool, is more like it. I might go out and rake leaves, but it is windy and they might come back. Har, I spelled butt in the previous sentence and corrected it.

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  11. No weeding for me today. I had omelettes with Terra at the Trolley Stop Cafe, sent him off to do more homecoming festivities at MUS, then walked over to the Clanjamfrey Festival and witnessed the Bonny Knees Contest. Zali and I walked the two miles home. He had two poos. Coming and going as it were. Took Simone out for a blistering run and now, as soon as I stop sweating, will take a shower.
    Because it’s TMI day at the Pie, that’s why.

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  12. No weeding for me today. I had omelettes with Terra at the Trolley Stop Cafe, sent him off to do more homecoming festivities at MUS, then walked over to the Clanjamfrey Festival and witnessed the Bonny Knees Contest. Zali and I walked the two miles home. He had two poos. Coming and going as it were. Took Simone out for a blistering run and now, as soon as I stop sweating, will take a shower.
    Because it’s TMI day at the Pie, that’s why.

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  13. No weeding for me today. I had omelettes with Terra at the Trolley Stop Cafe, sent him off to do more homecoming festivities at MUS, then walked over to the Clanjamfrey Festival and witnessed the Bonny Knees Contest. Zali and I walked the two miles home. He had two poos. Coming and going as it were. Took Simone out for a blistering run and now, as soon as I stop sweating, will take a shower.
    Because it’s TMI day at the Pie, that’s why.

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  14. Here we just say “I need to use the bathroom.” That suffices and no one needs to know why we are using the bathroom. I could be doing coke in there and no one would question me about it. Except that when I need to pee I usually announce something like “Momma needs to pee-pee, PEE-PEE” or “Ooh, I have to piddle”. I guess that takes the guess work right out of it.
    I am off to weed my yard and split irises and hostas.

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  15. “Seeking the Oval Office” Bahahahaha! In our family, we call it, “having Deep Thoughts.” Deep Thoughts in the Oval Office. Alrighty then.
    I know who Meadowlark Lemon is! I watched “The New Scooby Doo Movies” when I was younger and there were such A Listers like Sandy Duncan, Don Knotts and Mama Cass on the show. The Globetrotters were also frequent guests. On a cartoon.
    Meadowlark Lemon the dog looks like a Basenji. But awfully cute.

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  16. I am glad I am not the only one with an interest in the crease of the pants. I used to iron my husbands uniforms that needed creases in the legs and arms, what a pain in the butt that was!
    Oh, how I would love to have a mowerer. I have a mower and all the tools, but usually half of them don’t work so my yard always looks like crap. Our yard is huge so we cannot afford for someone to take care of it.

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  17. I like the symmetry of this entry, how you pulled it together with MEADOW and then working in the YARD. Of course, that doesn’t include the poop pellatage unless one stretches it to include fertilizer. The concept, not the actual pellets. EW, you people. GOD.
    I can not imagine a fate worse than working in the yard, pulling weeds, etc. Bugs. Worms. Perspiration. Would sooner die. The house we moved to? YARD. LAWN. MULCH BEDS. LANDSCAPING. So every Tuesday, Eddie the Gardener shows up with noisy ride-on things and pointy tools (and possible illegals) and whips everything into shape. Thank God for Eddie. Or should I say Gracias Dio por Eduardo? (The house we moved from had teeny lands … and we still hired a grass mowerer.)

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  18. I like the symmetry of this entry, how you pulled it together with MEADOW and then working in the YARD. Of course, that doesn’t include the poop pellatage unless one stretches it to include fertilizer. The concept, not the actual pellets. EW, you people. GOD.
    I can not imagine a fate worse than working in the yard, pulling weeds, etc. Bugs. Worms. Perspiration. Would sooner die. The house we moved to? YARD. LAWN. MULCH BEDS. LANDSCAPING. So every Tuesday, Eddie the Gardener shows up with noisy ride-on things and pointy tools (and possible illegals) and whips everything into shape. Thank God for Eddie. Or should I say Gracias Dio por Eduardo? (The house we moved from had teeny lands … and we still hired a grass mowerer.)

    Like

  19. I like the symmetry of this entry, how you pulled it together with MEADOW and then working in the YARD. Of course, that doesn’t include the poop pellatage unless one stretches it to include fertilizer. The concept, not the actual pellets. EW, you people. GOD.
    I can not imagine a fate worse than working in the yard, pulling weeds, etc. Bugs. Worms. Perspiration. Would sooner die. The house we moved to? YARD. LAWN. MULCH BEDS. LANDSCAPING. So every Tuesday, Eddie the Gardener shows up with noisy ride-on things and pointy tools (and possible illegals) and whips everything into shape. Thank God for Eddie. Or should I say Gracias Dio por Eduardo? (The house we moved from had teeny lands … and we still hired a grass mowerer.)

    Like

  20. You mentioned her wedding last month in one of your posts.
    Sandra I was going to ask the same question about ironing the jeans. Usually the only people that have creases in their jeans are 50+ year old men that still live with their mothers. You know, the guys that wear white socks with black shoes.

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  21. Im not saying. Other than to add she has a lot of MOXIE. Also? I am certain she will make a hideous bride. Because she isnt spectacularly lovely or anything. And thin. And successful. And smart. And funnier than anyone on planet Earth. Why isnt she marrying ME?

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  22. Have a good day as you alternate between the yard and the loo. You have a date with the lawn and the latrine. At my house we call the yard the “back forty” and the toilet the “crapper”. We too are elegant!
    I read that certain blogger’s blog some time ago and was so mystified about what went on. Then I kept checking back in for more info, but gave up finally. It totally leaves the stalkers hanging…

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  23. Oh, hard, angry pellets are the bane of my existence. I feel ya on that one.
    Er, well, not exactly “feel ya.” Okay that didn’t come out quite right.
    Hahaha, see what I did there? I love my jokes.
    P.S. You know what you have to do once you have grass? You have to MOW. I hate grass. Grass is for babies who can’t handle Zen rock gardens.

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  24. Sandra, you are so observant. Inexplicably, those jeans have always done that. I did not iron them. Nor did I iron one leg. Anyway that is why those jeans are reserved for days when I walk the dog and get butt photos taken.

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  25. What a cute little dog. It has been raining here for the past two days, so my already out of control yard will be even worse. Plus mosquitos will multiply like crazy so when I do get out there to clean it up, they can feast on my blood until I pass out.
    Do you iron creases in your jeans? I thought only cowboys did that. It looks like there is only one creased pant leg and no crease in the other one.

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  26. Well, lookit me go!
    I totally heart Meadow! I don’t have google reader so do not know why you only had him for one day.
    You’ve inspired me to work in the yard today. Only I’m not going to, because there is an art festival downtown and that sound like a lot more fun. We’re going to hang around and watch the bats come out later this evening.

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