I have the best best best best best news ever. Maybe.
Last night Marvin and I were walking the cur, as we are wont to do every night of our lives, and you know I enjoy strolling past Snowflake.
In case you are just tuning in, Snowflake is a beautiful mixed breed doggie who lives a few blocks down.
There are three little girls who also live where Snowflake does, and they are always playing outside, which is nice to see for a change, and anyway you have no idea what this dog endures. They roll on her, chase after her, kick dirt in her direction without noticing it, and all sorts of things that would send Tallulah into a fit of the vapors. Snowflake just stays cheerful.
They got her as a puppy last Christmas, and I am sorry to tell you that I covet her. I have wanted Snowflake since minute one. She is SO calm, and so BEAUTIFUL, and so smiley.
So there they all were last evening: Snowflake; the rambunctious girls; and even their dad, whom I have never spoken to. I guess he has figured out by now that I'm a perv for his dog, not his kids, so he's fine with me.
Well. The Snowflake family got a new PUPPY! A round, fluffy, wriggly chocolate brown thing that you an imagine I was delighted with, even as I petted Snowflake.
"YOU WANT TO HOLD HER?" Oldest Towhead asked. They never speak in indoor voices.
You know my answer. Oh, no. No puppy holding for me. I am a busy professional.
That puppy lick lick licked me and nuzzled in my neck and I was so smitten.
"THAT 'NOFLAKE BROTHER!" screeched Youngest Towhead. They have told me their names 487 times but I never remember. Snowflake's name I retained. Them? Blond chicks.
That annoying, overused screeching-of-the-needle-on-the-record sound effect literally happened. It just scratched across the sky.
"'Noflake's BROTHER?" I asked, forgetting her S.
That was when the dad came over. "Eeeeeyep," he said. I asked Marvin later if we thought perhaps Dad was born and raised here. "I been havin' the same family of dogs since I wus 10. We jus' keep gettin' puppies from 'em, and they's good dawgs."
He might as well have been shucking something. And yet? Would have soul kissed him for this information.
"You mean, that puppy has the same parents Snowflake has? Are there…more puppies available?"
I was getting my screechy high voice. And probably sounding sort of Michigan-y, because when I get twittered I get my Michigan voice back. Dad probably went inside and told his wife some Yankee wanted his dog.
"Well, ma'am, I can call my sister. There may be some left. You want you a girl, so's Tallulah don't get pregnant? Or is she spaded?"
I am hoping Snowflake learns her grammar from my brief visits.
Anyway, he TOOK DOWN my name and number so he could call his sister to ask if any SNOWFLAKE PUPPIES WERE AVAILABLE! And Marvin said I CAN HAVE ONE because we know how cool Snowflake is!
In fact, I told Dad, over there, "Oh, I would love to get a puppy just like Snowflake, with that disposition."
And he said, "Well, now I don't know if they have their shots like Snowflake does."
Do you think he thought "disposition" meant "inoculation"? That has been bothering me all day. Not as much as the part where it has been THIRTEEN HOURS and why hasn't anyone called me about my new puppy snickerdoodle?
I mean, why didn't he call her right away? What if someone is out there taking the last puppy? MY PUPPY?
"You know, Snowflake prob'ly won't care that that's her brother. We'll prob'ly have puppies, too."
I guess spaded-ing is not a priority for this family. But the thought of getting a CHILD of Snowflake is almost too much for me to bear. Even though the new puppy is maybe three months old, I am so going over there with candles and Marvin Gaye on the boom box later. Set the mood.
So what do we name him when we get him? Marvin so far has thought of Three Me Night (instead of Three Dog Night) and Dog Stevens (instead of Cat Stevens) (then in a few years he wants to change Dog Stevens to a Muslim name), and Person the Bounty Hunter.
Marvin is not allowed to participate in a real way in this discussion.
I was thinking that since the dog family keeps interbreeding we could name him Charles, like Prince Charles. Even though he screwed over my favorite person on earth. And I hate to say it, but the NAME Camilla is pretty as long as you don't think about that royal homewrecker. Tallulah and Camilla. That'd be lovely.
I AM SO EXCITED! I AM MARVIN-GOING-TO-RUSH excited! 'NOFLAKE'S RELATIVE!!!!!!!