Pieces of Humiliation

Upsidedowndog
I know everyone is worried sick, but Edsel is absolutely at 50% when it comes to housebreaking. Because you know what's fun? Housebreaking a puppy.

Good gravy.

Just about 20 minutes ago, he went to the door, and we went in the back yard and he peed! Yay! Good boy! Who'sagoodboy? Who'sthebestpuppy?

Then two minutes ago? When I went to find him to take this picture? He peed on the dining room floor. How can you have two pees that close together? Is he drinking a keg?

The good news is, all pooping was outside today, and I know you wish I'd talk about it at greater length. So to speak. Maybe I'll update about this on Facebook, like mothers of actual humans do.

But that is not why I gathered you all here today. I am totally gonna make Bye Bye, Pie coffee mugs that say that, because how often am I on a tangent and then tell you that's not why you're here?

I am here today because it is Pieces of Wisdom eve, and last week we got all excited by a new idea, thanks to Faithful Reader Duffylou, who made the fatal mistake of telling us she had a school picture of herself wearing a flower she had created from her Thingmaker.

Duffylou Thingmaker
I begged Duffylouto send her photo in so we could all laugh not at her but near her, and then I was inspired. You see how Duffy looks kind of fuzzy? That is how I see the whole world. And I have to tell you that Thingmaker gem is kind of cool.

So, for this week's Pieces of Wisdom/Humiliation Wednesday, let's all look at horrid photos of ourselves. Email them to me by 9 p.m. Eastern time with your name and/or blog address. If you don't include your blog address with your photo I cannot link to you, and then you will think I am Selfish Selfinstein with my unlinky self.

To email me your terrible picture, click on the right up there, where it says "Email me." Sherlock.

I too will include a humiliating photo, to get us started. I don't have any school photos, which is a shame, because one thing I was in junior high?

Pretty.

However, let's all pause and enjoy this nice shot, from my 14th year.

Pretty

Mmm-hmmm. Thanks, mom, for capturing on film my Holly Hobbie-esque nightgown that I had clearly had since I was 11. Also, thanks for making me do dishes. Can't you see I am above that?

Who is cracking up at the hand towel with the knitted top? We had 900 of those. Also, I am enjoying the flourishing plant on the counter, there, on the right.

But what is mostly lovely is the way said Holly Hobby-esque nightgown RIDES UP on what I assure you was not a large buttockal region. It's just when you insist on wearing an ANCIENT nightgown, these things happen.

Why did I keep that nightgown? Why didn't I get a new one? Also, why is there an electrical cord on the stove? That has to be safe. I guarantee you I am leaving that pot "to soak." It's an excellent avoidance technique.

Oh, and finally? I guess that's my real haircolor. Hunh. Haven't seen that since 1983. Perhaps this isn't me at all. Perhaps with that hair we had Jesus of Nazareth doing our dishes, and that is why mom chose to photograph this exciting moment.

Anyway. It is only fair that you send me something bad now that I have shown you this beautiful snapshot. I will present them all tomorrow for Pieces of WTF Wednesday.

Bring your Thingmaker jewelry!
 

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

36 thoughts on “Pieces of Humiliation”

  1. I forgot how cute our little kitchen was. I probably took that photo because I wanted to maintain for posterity a picture of you actually doing the dishes. Your grandma made those towel things. I wish I still had one that she had made.

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  2. June’s mother. I just got rid of my very last one. Not made by June’s grandma, but by someone’s I am sure. We were given eleventy hundred of these when we got married 30 years ago. What an objet d’art these half towel / half scarf creations are!

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  3. Oh, I had already forgotten about “Pieces of Humiliation.” We talked about it last week and I even went to my mother’s house to find the awful picture (drop temple glasses and all). Here’s hoping my scanner works at home tonight…I had been planning on doing here at work today but didn’t bring the picture in.
    Dufflou – Sweet collar, too bad it’s so small.

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  4. Wow, I didn’t know you lived at our house….we had those very same light green cabinets with that black hardware. The sink drainer…. because there was only one sink.
    The telephone was on the wall to your right by a doorway to the dining room. Oh, and the electrical cord was probably from the vacuum cleaner that you were also using in your cleaning frenzy.
    I hated , hated doing dishes. Mom made my brother dry and put away and he ALWAYS did something to aggrevate me enough that I told him just go and I would dry them and put them away…..he could get on my last nerve.
    Sorry no photo no scanner no work no cell phone(yes I also live in a cave and the WiFi reception is sketchy at best,I do have fire though) …so I told a story instead.

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  5. Wow, I didn’t know you lived at our house….we had those very same light green cabinets with that black hardware. The sink drainer…. because there was only one sink.
    The telephone was on the wall to your right by a doorway to the dining room. Oh, and the electrical cord was probably from the vacuum cleaner that you were also using in your cleaning frenzy.
    I hated , hated doing dishes. Mom made my brother dry and put away and he ALWAYS did something to aggrevate me enough that I told him just go and I would dry them and put them away…..he could get on my last nerve.
    Sorry no photo no scanner no work no cell phone(yes I also live in a cave and the WiFi reception is sketchy at best,I do have fire though) …so I told a story instead.

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  6. Wow, I didn’t know you lived at our house….we had those very same light green cabinets with that black hardware. The sink drainer…. because there was only one sink.
    The telephone was on the wall to your right by a doorway to the dining room. Oh, and the electrical cord was probably from the vacuum cleaner that you were also using in your cleaning frenzy.
    I hated , hated doing dishes. Mom made my brother dry and put away and he ALWAYS did something to aggrevate me enough that I told him just go and I would dry them and put them away…..he could get on my last nerve.
    Sorry no photo no scanner no work no cell phone(yes I also live in a cave and the WiFi reception is sketchy at best,I do have fire though) …so I told a story instead.

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  7. My scanner is broken! Dang. I’m sure I can find some lovely pictures of the here and now. I’m not sure those count.
    I think the cord on the stove is an iron. Sitting there, cooling. I currently have an iron on my stove, left there last night, to cool.

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  8. First off, no baloney that your scanner is broken. I had to take a picture of the picture to send that to June. My new scanner is kaput. That is why the pic is a bit fuzzy. Ha!
    C. Believe it or not folks this is the best photo from my elementary school years. Thank goodness the Thingmaker flower was on this particular photo. You can only imagine how horrified my parents must have been. Come to think of it this may be the reason they sent me to the barn at such an early age. Hunh.

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  9. Yeah, my scanner is broken also. I had a great photo of my 10 year old anorexic self posing in a bikini that is 3 times too big and the bottoms go all the way up to here.I thouht I was dabomb.

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  10. Ding and double dang.I’m on the move all day and not at my computer until late tonight so I can’t look for a picture to send. BTW, that picture of Edsel above? I’m in heart stopping, earth shattering love.

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  11. I still use the towels with the knitted tops. Love them. I’m old. Matter of fact, will be 50 this Friday so I am posting retrospectives on my life on my blog this week. Will fit in perfectly with your photo request. I will send a good one to you later. Not in a Holly Hobbie nightie though. Shame. But I have equally unattractive clothing so I’m sure I can send something good.

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  12. I don’t have a scanner, so no photos here. I’m still too scarred by them anyway. No need to go back to therapy.
    However, I have yet to congratulate you on the FABULOUS Edsel! I’m totally in love with his ears! He and Chloe could have fantastic big earred babies, except that you and I are both responsible owners and our dogs are fixed. Anyhoo.
    Also, on a completely different topic, I just found out that my friend Buckeye is now a proofreader partly thanks to you! Wow. This interwebs is pretty crazy stuff.

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  13. I love that your mom retained a photo of your posterior for posterity. I throw away every poster of my posterior!

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  14. BTW, Duffylou, I did a double take at your picture. I have one of my sister that is almost identical! I think you were cute.
    June? If my husband e-mails you my hairiffic photos tomorrow, would it be too late? My scanner really is broken and he can scan them and e-mail them from work. But not until tomorrow. Is it ok??? Is it? Is it???

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  15. I’m so glad I stopped by in my limited computer time. Have I got a picture for you! It is so mortifying, you will laugh your tiny little ass off, Juney. I’m sorry I’m not all into the chatty chat today. I’m really not supposed to be reading.
    I finally got the carpets cleaned last week, thinking the Moron Twins had finally figured out the whole potty training thing. They laughed in my face yesterday, by leaving me a great big circle of pee. There are not enough Yankee candles in the world for those imbeciles. Going to send the picture now.

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  16. I am about to try and find a Catholic school picture and believe me when I tell you I was NO Britney Spears. Not that kind of Catholic school girl. Also I don’t know if I can work the scanner but I can try the phone thing.
    BUT what I wanted to say was that I read this today and immediately thought of our June and Marvin: A person who spoils their dog is “roverindulgent.”

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  17. I am about to try and find a Catholic school picture and believe me when I tell you I was NO Britney Spears. Not that kind of Catholic school girl. Also I don’t know if I can work the scanner but I can try the phone thing.
    BUT what I wanted to say was that I read this today and immediately thought of our June and Marvin: A person who spoils their dog is “roverindulgent.”

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  18. I am about to try and find a Catholic school picture and believe me when I tell you I was NO Britney Spears. Not that kind of Catholic school girl. Also I don’t know if I can work the scanner but I can try the phone thing.
    BUT what I wanted to say was that I read this today and immediately thought of our June and Marvin: A person who spoils their dog is “roverindulgent.”

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  19. I have the perfect picture for this but it is somewhere in my mom’s house. It is so perfect that I am going to get it and send it to you even after your deadline. Let’s just say that an eye patch is involved and I am not a pirate.

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  20. No worries Jan. Our scanner works just fine. And I am pretty sure I have Chopped Up Hair Girl picture here somewhere. 🙂

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  21. June, I sent two pix scanned together earlier today, two different kinds of humiliation and I couldn’t decide which was worse. I sent it to a JuneGardens@ email address I found in my inbox from a long time ago because my computer doesn’t have email on it so clicking on ’email me’ didn’t work. I hope you got them.
    Good luck finishing Edsel’s potty training. You remind me why I’m reluctant to take on a puppy.

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  22. Ack! I missed the deadline by 33 minutes! I got home late! I’m always late somewhere. I used to have dreams where I would miss things because I was always a few minutes too late! I was even born late!
    Maybe that is my contribution to Pieces of Humiliation…

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  23. Been on the road for two days and missed BBP!
    Why is there no cloth apron on the dishwashing detergent? I’m betting you had toilet paper covers that looked like ladies with hoop skirts too?!! I still own many of those little towels with the knitted tops. Not sure where they are though.

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