Pieces of [Wisdom] Wednesday. The Humiliation Edition.

Oh, what a special day we have here at Bye Bye, Dignity and also Pie.

For this week's Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday, I asked you all to send in humiliating photos of your own self. And oh, did you send some sophisticated, lovely pictures.

Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!

Just to be a good sport, I have included a bad photo from my 12th year, even though I had put in a humiliating photo yesterday, and does anyone remember that post I wrote about the bad art from my childhood? And I told you there was one really disturbing vampire/clown with heartburn, and I couldn't find any photos of it?

Wow
I can't believe I ate the whole thing. LOOK at that depressing vampire clown. Oh that thing was dreadful.

And before you go calling social services, that was really my mother's glass of wine and nice bottle of Lambrusco. I thought I was hilarious posing with it, not knowing in about three years I'd totally be trying to buy my own Lambrusco at the 7-Eleven, there.

Also, I latch-hooked that owl. I KNOW! All those looks, style, and talent, too.

Also, too, I think Barry Gibb is on the cover of the People mag. Team Barry! Or maybe it's Glen Campbell. Whichev.

I can't believe I found a photo of the vampire clown.

Anyway, enough about me. Let's laugh at all of you.

Stie

Okay, here is Faithful Reader and one of my blog friends, Stie. Now, I think she looks like she was one of the Popular Girls, don't you? Plus also, I can totally see her cute face of today under that 'do. So many girls at my school had that 'do. And really? Why?

Fawn Ambers embarrassing self

Let's get physical with Fawn Amber, shall we? My grandparents totally had that gold candy dish. Gold was a big theme in the Amber household. Hey! Amber! Gold! I just got it!

What I don't get? Those shorts. Maybe Fawn Amber was into diversity before it was a thing.

Cara-shakespeare
Okay, this one is not humiliating, per se. It is of Faithful Reader Cara, who wore her authentic Bye Bye, Pie t-shirt to Shakespeare's birthplace in England. The only humiliating part is she is admitting she reads Bye Bye, Pie.

I, too, went to the town of Shakespeare's birth when I went to England in 1990. However, they had a Body Shop there and there weren't any Body Shops in the U.S. yet, so I spent my whole time in the store buying body oils. I never saw Shakespeare's house. Whatev. Those body oils smelled DELISH! Shall I compare them to a summer's day?

Lisa5
Okay, this is one of my favorites. Faithful Reader Lisa, and I know you are all glad you are sitting down, because a READER of my BLOG named LISA? How unuuuuuusual! Did our parents get told they could pick no other name? Are Lisas just a demographic that I appeal to?

But that is not why I gathered you all here. The point is, F.R. Lisa was an only child till she was 10, and then you see her delight at getting a sibling. She's so subtle about her feelings.

I told her we could title this: If a Picture Paints a Thousand Words, Then why Can't I Kill You?

Butt
Butt seriously, folks, I think Alice should be less concerned about her family's poses, and more concerned that everyone but her is faceless at her house. Has this ever freaked her out?

Actually? When I get a migraine aura? This is kind of what people look like. I mean, they don't look bent over. You know what I mean.

Faithful Reader You Know Who I am sent this photo:

Ykwia
Okay, I think this photo is adorable. And that is totally what happens to me when I buy anything with a tie on it. It's all cute and tie-y at the store, and then you try to do it yourself and it's like you were tying it drunk.

Scan0001
Linda in CO could not decide. Red hair and hello bangs, or black and white and hello cat-eyes? If you want to know the truth I would kill for those cat-eyes. Did you curl your hair on orange juice cans to smooth it out, Linda in CO? I know that was a little trick we curly gals used back then.

Oh. I just re-read Linda's email to me, and it turns out the hair on the left was as a result of foam curlers, and mom cut the bangs special for picture day. Thanks, mom.

Edsel2
Faithful Reader and Friend in Real Life Laurie took this picture of sweet Edsel today. Does he already look bigger to you?

Laurie(Greensboro)

Then she sent in this shot of her own self, and said, "I started out life with a double chin and it shall end the same way."

Dying.

6th grade

Twelve Days Old sent a photo from everyone's best year, sixth grade. I guess blue was the theme for Twelve. I totally remember those necklaces and think I had one. Except when Twelve was in 6th grade, I was, you know, 33.

Me1

I think this is cute as can be of Paula H&B. Look at her little flip. Apparently Paula H&B lived inside a jar of marmalade.

Me4

Oh, Faithful Reader Mary. Oh, honey. I cannot get enough of that shirt. Honestly. Cannot. Get. Enough.

Your brother is a little pooky-boo. I just noticed his chain on his vest. Now I am just as amused by that as that shirt. THAT SHIRT! Must have.

Lindee

How can Faithful Reader Lindy say with a straight face that she thinks this is humiliating? LOOK HOW CUTE! I always want to call her Lindee, because that is how Tallulah spelled her name when she wrote "ant lindee" a thank-y0u note for her new collar.

Again, who amuses her own self?

Carla 7th grade

Faithful Reader Carla was jamming out to the '80s accessories. Wouldn't we all feel bad if this was from, like, this year? And I'm calling her accessories '80s? Except I think it is now illegal to wear that pin. And glasses that start at the bottom.

GlammerShot

Faithful Reader Kelly said she looks like she should be singing Vicki Carr covers in a third-rate Reno hotel. However, I think she needs to consult with Twelve Days Old about their mutual love of blue.

HS15

JoAnn wanted to let me know she wore this to high school. Why, JoAnn? Although I do kind of covet that robe.

Pal

Here is my Pal From MA in 4th grade, turning the world on with her bric-a-brack. I TOTALLY REMEMBER this photo. I always had her photo up, each year, on my closet door. It was just one of those tiny rectangle photos you get when you exchange your school picture with your friends, and it never occurred to me that the scale was odd and maybe I could have stuck her picture in my vanity mirror or something. I have no visual skills.

But at least I never wore black, pink, white and flowered gingham.

PICT0368

There are no words, Original Joann.

Canada 2005 059
Tammi felt the need to assure me she is really much cuter than this, when a giant spider is not attacking her, so she sent me a photo where she looks nice, too. By the way, this is my biggest nightmare. If there are spiders this big in the world I want you to shoot me now, or get a REALLY LARGE flyswatter. Stat.

How much do you like me for saying "stat"?

Hulk
Hulk sent this, claiming it was humiliating because he is wearing unfashionable jean shorts. But we can't SEE that he is wearing them, and if you ask me, I think he just wanted his picture in my blog.

Okay, did I forget anybody? If I did, be sure to yell at me.

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

64 thoughts on “Pieces of [Wisdom] Wednesday. The Humiliation Edition.”

  1. Seriously, people! These are the most humiliating pictures you could find?? Geez, I’m starting to get that 7th grade anxiety back. Maybe I really am the most awkward person in the world.
    And I do want you to know that I do actually have a full set of teeth now.

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  2. BEST. POST. EVER! Am dying. What brave, brave souls, giving their photos for our delight. They are all great but I think my fave is You Know Who I Am. Although I really don’t know her.
    June? That photo is from 12th grade? Really? When I looked at it I was wondering why a 12 year old June was posing with the wine glass and bottle.

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  3. Hulk (Who does have other shirts, but has taken the jean shorts out of circulation as per your requests...) says:

    I really thought you’d put in the one of my humiliating cat, all spread-eagle a whory-looking…

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  4. Paula H&B is adorable. I think Pal from MA looks very deep and wise in her photo. She looks like the kind of girl that never wanted to be my friend because I was too “flighty”… some things never change!

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  5. Oh c’mon now people. Those were not humiliating photos. Obviously you either don’t have bad pictures or you just don’t want to share with your BBP family. *sniff*

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  6. Love love love this post! I’ve been away for a few days on holidays and I am sooo glad this is my welcome back to work BBP post!
    I heart all the pictures, and the whole idea for this post. I’m only sorry I didn’t send in an embarrassing photo of me too, God knows there are plenty of them out there! I hate to say the worst one (I am blushing just thinking about this) involves dancing, a few glasses of wine, a halter top (can you already guess, this is NOT a good combination?) and, ultimately my boob unknowingly being on show to the whole restaurant. Nice. I am not that kind of girl. That photo has now thankfully been destroyed, never to be seen again.

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  7. Oh, come on…no one can look at my picture and say it is anything other than humiliating. Everyone else looks cute! Ah well. As for the shorts, all I can say is…damn…I’ve got nothin. I liked them at the time.
    That was my 14th birthday, by the way, and I was inexplicably VERY into Olivia Newton-John for most of my adolescence.
    Stie and I kind of have the same hair. It was an 80s thing, yes?

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  8. Duffylou – I threw out the horrific ones years ago. Too painful. But, I was seriously wondering in my photo, “what in the HECK was my mom thinking?” in regards to my hair. Really???
    Love Linda in CO’s cat eye glasses.

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  9. I dont remember why I was dressed that way. I thought I was hilarious.
    Um, I know it’s not THE most embarrassing photo but in my defense I didn’t have the TIME to find a more embarrassing one. As I went to bed last night I remembered this one photo with me wearing my show Pig’s best in show bun bonnet on my head.
    Does anyone know what I’m talking about.
    June, let us all pray that Edsel is mostly Shepherd. How did that happen anyway?
    Original Joann, that photo is the BEST. I almost lost my coffee via my nose and even though it was small, it was hilarious. You should post a pic of you with a classy eyepatch soon.
    And…now I’m gonna go there.
    I swear, Hulk looks like my OB/GYN. I’m a tad freaked out now.

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  10. “they think Edsel is a shepherd/chihuahua mix”
    OMG, that had to be one hurting chihuahua bitch or one PROUD chihuahua stud!
    ps: you all are adorable! Adorable I say!

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  11. “they think Edsel is a shepherd/chihuahua mix”
    OMG, that had to be one hurting chihuahua bitch or one PROUD chihuahua stud!
    ps: you all are adorable! Adorable I say!

    Like

  12. “they think Edsel is a shepherd/chihuahua mix”
    OMG, that had to be one hurting chihuahua bitch or one PROUD chihuahua stud!
    ps: you all are adorable! Adorable I say!

    Like

  13. Member? Member my lovely pic from 1982…big hair, mom jean shorts…I was rockin, I was going to resend it except I missed the cutoff. It would have fit in quite nicely though. I’m enjoying the shared humiliation. The thing is, I looked at myself in the mirror that day and said, “ok I look good, let’s go”. The horror

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  14. On the photos: if you like these, you’ll love http://www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com. On Edsel: Now I’m all into imagining he scene at his conception. Did the Choo-Wa-Wa Dude use a stepladder? Or did he sneak up on the bitch when she was asleep on the floor? Then he’s all, “OOOH BIG MAMA!!” and she’s all, “Is it in yet?”

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  15. I think Carla wins. Those 80s accessories. My accessories where 1998. Not nearly as interesting.
    Hulk, are you whining about your embarrassing shorts you wore a month ago?

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  16. It is an Ohio State jersey, Whitni.
    Maybe someday you will learn how to spell big words like “Wisconsin”…

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  17. June – it is not a question of why you pick the most ridiculous of breeds, it is a question of how a shepherd and a chihuahua did it in the first place!
    Oh and I have more humiliating photos I could have sent but they are all stuck in scrapbooks. Yes, I like to memorialize the ugly.
    You all would have loved the floor length red dress I wore once that, in photos, showed my white under-things clearly shining through. Elegant.
    Oh and that shirt in this photo? It’s actually a dress. I know – you’re very jealous now. More photos on my blog including my prom photo. My birthday is Friday so I am posting each day and looking back on the past 49+ years. Stop by and take a look.

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  18. Very funny! I think we were all adorable in our own way!
    Glad to hear the jorts have been retired, Hulkie. Not a good look.
    And chihuahua and shep? What? How on earth would your vet come to that conclusion? The logistics are impossible! Boggles the mind.
    You MUST get one of those genetic tests done on our adorable Edsel! Enquiring minds want to know!

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  19. This post is wonderful and hilarious and awesome and it makes me very glad there are no pictures from my childhood.
    Linda from CO, my friend Ellen, who also has red hair (or should I say never lets us forget how red her hair used to be) absolutely swooned with delight when she saw your picture. “Now THAT is fantastic red hair,” is what she said.
    And Pal from MA, you have the most amazing, huge, gorgeous eyes.
    P.S. June, yeah, that angsty vampire clown is totally creepy.

    Like

  20. Edsel’s dad what a stud. My neighbor’s two dogs, a male dachshund, female pointer, like to get it on. Oscar, the dachshund will climb onto an ice chest in the garage and saddles on up. The neighbors found them stuck together.
    I’m sure Hulk studied all of this as a practicing OB GYN’r.

    Like

  21. Edsel’s dad what a stud. My neighbor’s two dogs, a male dachshund, female pointer, like to get it on. Oscar, the dachshund will climb onto an ice chest in the garage and saddles on up. The neighbors found them stuck together.
    I’m sure Hulk studied all of this as a practicing OB GYN’r.

    Like

  22. Edsel’s dad what a stud. My neighbor’s two dogs, a male dachshund, female pointer, like to get it on. Oscar, the dachshund will climb onto an ice chest in the garage and saddles on up. The neighbors found them stuck together.
    I’m sure Hulk studied all of this as a practicing OB GYN’r.

    Like

  23. Hulk, I’m not sure which is worse – the fact that you wore jean shorts or that you then tucked the jersey in. It’s a toss up. You’re still my favorite single dad though.
    Edsel’s ears are beginning to stand up! He’s gonna be huge. I was thinking he was mixed with some sort of terrier based on his face.
    And all of you ladies, you are lovely. Thanks for putting humility aside so that we may all laugh.

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  24. Hee! Or Carson Kressley! Can you see that pairing?!! hee!
    I forgot to mention said Vampire Clown. That thing gave me nightmares. It may be the basis of my incredible phobia of clowns. I am STILL petrified by them. SO creepy.
    Also? Edsel? Can I please have him? Pooping on the dining room floor and all. I love him.
    Lastly? Lindy and Siren, thank you for saying such nice things about me and how I looked! I think I look all bedraggled and I can’t believe I didn’t even brush my hair before this photo! So, I will take your deep and wise and gorgeous eyes comments! Merci!

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  25. Okay, obviously I’m not getting the full scary clown effect because I can only see part of it and it’s in black-and-white. But here’s what’s creepy to me. It looks like it might be part mime. And mimes are just creepy no matter what. But on top of that, it doesn’t look like it’s having heartburn. That looks like a smirk on its face. I think its patting its chest in a satisfied way because it just crawled out from under the bed during a slumber party and ate a little girl.

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  26. Oh this is too funny. Everyone looks like everyone I grew up with! I thought I was so much older!
    The double chin! The accessories! The glasses! The “fashions.” The only child with the new brother! DYING.
    I emailed June this but I have to share with everyone. When I asked my mother (years ago) why my picture was so reddish, she said, “That picture was taken in Canada.”
    ……..
    Yeah.

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  27. Oh this is too funny. Everyone looks like everyone I grew up with! I thought I was so much older!
    The double chin! The accessories! The glasses! The “fashions.” The only child with the new brother! DYING.
    I emailed June this but I have to share with everyone. When I asked my mother (years ago) why my picture was so reddish, she said, “That picture was taken in Canada.”
    ……..
    Yeah.

    Like

  28. Oh this is too funny. Everyone looks like everyone I grew up with! I thought I was so much older!
    The double chin! The accessories! The glasses! The “fashions.” The only child with the new brother! DYING.
    I emailed June this but I have to share with everyone. When I asked my mother (years ago) why my picture was so reddish, she said, “That picture was taken in Canada.”
    ……..
    Yeah.

    Like

  29. I am loving Fawn Amber’s QT legs. An the shorts are to die for. Love the layered tanks in multi colors! You looked exactly what I WISHED I looked like at 14. I was more of a Sheena Easton girl myself.
    FR Mary! That shirt! And you were so happy about it! Your little bro is scrumptious…and his shirt? Back in style.
    Lisa is rockin her velour shirt!
    Laurie is so danged cute…and I love her little curl right in the middle of her forehead!
    Every single picture is adorable…LOVE THIS POST!

    Like

  30. I can’t help but wonder if FR Lis isn’t secretly pinching her baby berother while she looks so mature and resigned. That is my favorite picture. But I love them all, and think every one of them is cute as can be.
    Siren, tell your friend I feel her pain. I only wish my hair was as red as it was back then. Years ago when I got my driver’s license renewed, I put ‘red’ down as my hair color, and the guy behind the desk read that and looked at me skeptically. My beautician told me that the advantage of my hair color is that I will just get more and more white rather than grey. I still consider myself a strawberry blonde, even if no one else does. Tell her thank you for the lovely complement.
    And I love the picture of Edsel. Those ears. Wow, just wow.

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  31. OMGosh… You are all incredibly adorable/cute/good-looking/sweet! I could send you a picture from last week that would be way more humiliating and also, mortifying. I am not a horrible looking human being, but I am somehow incapable of taking a picture that does not make me look like Quasimoto’s uglier sister. Horrifying. I have taken a single good photo in my entire life and my kids exclaimed “Mom! This is the picture we will use for your obituary!” I told you – it’s THAT BAD!
    Anyway, Edsel is a dream of a pup. But his parentage? Hard to fathom. Spring for the DNA kit June. It’ll be money well spent.
    The vampire clown? Everything you promised and then some. Classic!
    As a side note, there were four Lisas in my class all through grade school, which is remarkable when you know we had only one class of 25 per grade level from kindergarten thru grade 8. What is that? 15%? So there you go – math that really proves nothing! You’re welcome!

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  32. I think Mary must have been a much better big sister then I. I really didn’t like that stinking baby. He’s 30 now, shaves his head and he’s all tatooie but he’s still scared of me. Weird.
    Friend in Real Life Laurie with her little finger, oh goodness how cute is that?
    I think we can blame the whole Lisa thing on Elvis. The Lisas in my class were differentiated by their last name initial. Hence, I was Lisa D., along with Lisa Y. and Lisa O. Stupid Elvis.
    Smiles

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  33. I think Mary must have been a much better big sister then I. I really didn’t like that stinking baby. He’s 30 now, shaves his head and he’s all tatooie but he’s still scared of me. Weird.
    Friend in Real Life Laurie with her little finger, oh goodness how cute is that?
    I think we can blame the whole Lisa thing on Elvis. The Lisas in my class were differentiated by their last name initial. Hence, I was Lisa D., along with Lisa Y. and Lisa O. Stupid Elvis.
    Smiles

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  34. I think Mary must have been a much better big sister then I. I really didn’t like that stinking baby. He’s 30 now, shaves his head and he’s all tatooie but he’s still scared of me. Weird.
    Friend in Real Life Laurie with her little finger, oh goodness how cute is that?
    I think we can blame the whole Lisa thing on Elvis. The Lisas in my class were differentiated by their last name initial. Hence, I was Lisa D., along with Lisa Y. and Lisa O. Stupid Elvis.
    Smiles

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  35. Well I came before that Lisa Marie. In fact, I was so in love with Elvis that I long harbored the belief that he named HER after ME. I was seven. I gave up the fantasy of my secret love affair with The King eventually. I moved on to Michael Jackson, who I felt pretty confident about my chances with since he was my age. My dad said there was no way I could marry MJ. I thought he meant cuz he was famous. I think my dad meant something else.
    So anyway… I was named after a character from a popular soap opera. And that’s my guess for most of my classmates as well. Lots of moms watching As the World Turns while gestating that year.

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  36. I can’t wear jean shorts anymore plus I can’t tuck in my SHIRTS???

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  37. So sorry I missed this while I was in OH/MI/OH. Fun pics, loved them! There is something about kid pics, especially “vintage” ones, so sweet.

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  38. Lots of cute and not so cute pictures! However, I think I could have beaten everyone with one of my gradeschool pictures. Weird hair(mom cut it..thank you mommy!)snaggle teeth-you know the kind where your front teeth just came in and the rest of your teeth are still small?! I had a purplish plaid shirt on with the one collar stuck inside because the fact that it was picture day totally escaped my mother. Again, thank you mommy.
    I am just so sad I am not home to find that one and send it in. Maybe we should have a part two of Humiliation Wednesday?

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