Oh, what a special day we have here at Bye Bye, Dignity and also Pie.
For this week's Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday, I asked you all to send in humiliating photos of your own self. And oh, did you send some sophisticated, lovely pictures.
Just to be a good sport, I have included a bad photo from my 12th year, even though I had put in a humiliating photo yesterday, and does anyone remember that post I wrote about the bad art from my childhood? And I told you there was one really disturbing vampire/clown with heartburn, and I couldn't find any photos of it?
And before you go calling social services, that was really my mother's glass of wine and nice bottle of Lambrusco. I thought I was hilarious posing with it, not knowing in about three years I'd totally be trying to buy my own Lambrusco at the 7-Eleven, there.
Also, I latch-hooked that owl. I KNOW! All those looks, style, and talent, too.
Also, too, I think Barry Gibb is on the cover of the People mag. Team Barry! Or maybe it's Glen Campbell. Whichev.
I can't believe I found a photo of the vampire clown.
Anyway, enough about me. Let's laugh at all of you.
Okay, here is Faithful Reader and one of my blog friends, Stie. Now, I think she looks like she was one of the Popular Girls, don't you? Plus also, I can totally see her cute face of today under that 'do. So many girls at my school had that 'do. And really? Why?
Let's get physical with Fawn Amber, shall we? My grandparents totally had that gold candy dish. Gold was a big theme in the Amber household. Hey! Amber! Gold! I just got it!
What I don't get? Those shorts. Maybe Fawn Amber was into diversity before it was a thing.
Okay, this one is not humiliating, per se. It is of Faithful Reader Cara, who wore her authentic Bye Bye, Pie t-shirt to Shakespeare's birthplace in England. The only humiliating part is she is admitting she reads Bye Bye, Pie.
I, too, went to the town of Shakespeare's birth when I went to England in 1990. However, they had a Body Shop there and there weren't any Body Shops in the U.S. yet, so I spent my whole time in the store buying body oils. I never saw Shakespeare's house. Whatev. Those body oils smelled DELISH! Shall I compare them to a summer's day?
Okay, this is one of my favorites. Faithful Reader Lisa, and I know you are all glad you are sitting down, because a READER of my BLOG named LISA? How unuuuuuusual! Did our parents get told they could pick no other name? Are Lisas just a demographic that I appeal to?
But that is not why I gathered you all here. The point is, F.R. Lisa was an only child till she was 10, and then you see her delight at getting a sibling. She's so subtle about her feelings.
I told her we could title this: If a Picture Paints a Thousand Words, Then why Can't I Kill You?
Butt seriously, folks, I think Alice should be less concerned about her family's poses, and more concerned that everyone but her is faceless at her house. Has this ever freaked her out?
Actually? When I get a migraine aura? This is kind of what people look like. I mean, they don't look bent over. You know what I mean.
Faithful Reader You Know Who I am sent this photo:
Okay, I think this photo is adorable. And that is totally what happens to me when I buy anything with a tie on it. It's all cute and tie-y at the store, and then you try to do it yourself and it's like you were tying it drunk.
Linda in CO could not decide. Red hair and hello bangs, or black and white and hello cat-eyes? If you want to know the truth I would kill for those cat-eyes. Did you curl your hair on orange juice cans to smooth it out, Linda in CO? I know that was a little trick we curly gals used back then.
Oh. I just re-read Linda's email to me, and it turns out the hair on the left was as a result of foam curlers, and mom cut the bangs special for picture day. Thanks, mom.
Then she sent in this shot of her own self, and said, "I started out life with a double chin and it shall end the same way."
Twelve Days Old sent a photo from everyone's best year, sixth grade. I guess blue was the theme for Twelve. I totally remember those necklaces and think I had one. Except when Twelve was in 6th grade, I was, you know, 33.
I think this is cute as can be of Paula H&B. Look at her little flip. Apparently Paula H&B lived inside a jar of marmalade.
Oh, Faithful Reader Mary. Oh, honey. I cannot get enough of that shirt. Honestly. Cannot. Get. Enough.
Your brother is a little pooky-boo. I just noticed his chain on his vest. Now I am just as amused by that as that shirt. THAT SHIRT! Must have.
How can Faithful Reader Lindy say with a straight face that she thinks this is humiliating? LOOK HOW CUTE! I always want to call her Lindee, because that is how Tallulah spelled her name when she wrote "ant lindee" a thank-y0u note for her new collar.
Again, who amuses her own self?
Faithful Reader Carla was jamming out to the '80s accessories. Wouldn't we all feel bad if this was from, like, this year? And I'm calling her accessories '80s? Except I think it is now illegal to wear that pin. And glasses that start at the bottom.
Faithful Reader Kelly said she looks like she should be singing Vicki Carr covers in a third-rate Reno hotel. However, I think she needs to consult with Twelve Days Old about their mutual love of blue.
JoAnn wanted to let me know she wore this to high school. Why, JoAnn? Although I do kind of covet that robe.
Here is my Pal From MA in 4th grade, turning the world on with her bric-a-brack. I TOTALLY REMEMBER this photo. I always had her photo up, each year, on my closet door. It was just one of those tiny rectangle photos you get when you exchange your school picture with your friends, and it never occurred to me that the scale was odd and maybe I could have stuck her picture in my vanity mirror or something. I have no visual skills.
But at least I never wore black, pink, white and flowered gingham.
There are no words, Original Joann.
Tammi felt the need to assure me she is really much cuter than this, when a giant spider is not attacking her, so she sent me a photo where she looks nice, too. By the way, this is my biggest nightmare. If there are spiders this big in the world I want you to shoot me now, or get a REALLY LARGE flyswatter. Stat.
How much do you like me for saying "stat"?
Hulk sent this, claiming it was humiliating because he is wearing unfashionable jean shorts. But we can't SEE that he is wearing them, and if you ask me, I think he just wanted his picture in my blog.
Okay, did I forget anybody? If I did, be sure to yell at me.