June's stupid life · Pieces of Wisdom

Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday. Yes, I know it’s Thursday. Live a little.

Fortunately, I got home at a decent hour Wednesday night and was able to give you your results from this week's Pieces of Wisdom question. Unfortunately, everything else went wrong.

Well. Not everything. The Manson family didn't bust in and write "Piggy" on my wall or anything, but it was a flusterating evening, as Marvin's ex-coworker used to say. Flusterating, dawg.

First of all, I have had my camera battery plugged in for DAYS, but when I put it in the camera it says, "Change Battery Pack." I never. And stop calling me Pack.

I plugged it back in the wall, and why? If it didn't work last time, why do I think it'll work this time? What a maroon. What an embezzle.

So I had to resort to using my iPone, which would be fine but it's nighttime and so everything came out blurry. Also, I decided to pose the animals, because I am a nature photographer, and what I want to know is how photographers fly out to Africa and get meerkats being all cute or a pelican tossing back a fish when I can't even get my fairly domesticated dogs to sit still with an erase board.

Is what I wonder.

Anyway.

This week's Pieces of Wisdom Q was, How much sleep do you get a night? Sixty-two of you actually answered, and 121 of you commented in total. What does that tell you? It tells you my commenters do go on.

Near! Far! WherEVer you are! I know that my commenters go ONNNNNN!

I am totally banging my chest like what's-her-name right now. What's her name? Celine Dijon or whatever.

So, I added up how many people out of the 62 said, "I sleep eight hours a night" and how many said, "I sleep six hours a night" and so forth. Then I realized I had to do…something…you know, mathematical, to get a percentage.

"Muffin," I asked Marvin, "how do I find out what the percent would be if 22 people out of 62 said they sleep eight hours?"

"Well," said Muffvin, "you add it up."

"Add what up?"

"The numbers."

"You have no idea how to find the percent, do you?" I asked. Marvin pointed out he is not a math teacher.

Okay, it is pathetic that neither of us could do this basic math. I had to call my STEPFATHER, who is a MEDICAL DOCTOR, to tell me. And then as soon as he did (you divide the smaller number by the larger number), I was all, "Oh, yeah."

Run, Forrest, run.

Oh, but before I tell you the results, and I know you are squealing and on the edge of your seat, over there, and also calling my university to have my degree revoked, my close personal friend and Faithful Reader Sleeping Beauty wrote in to tell me how SHE gets to sleep.

Sleepingbeaut
She what she did, there? She acted like my blog puts her to sleep. OH! With the hilarity that is Sleeping Beauty. Wooo! Let me wipe my eyeballses.

So, fortunately, the majority of you sleep eight hours. In fact, THIRTY-FIVE PERCENT of you do. I know this because who DOESN'T know how to get percentages? Geez.

010
Eager helper and sleeper of eight hours (every eight hours) himself Francis helped me out with this shot. Look at the love in his face. That's adoration. That's a pet who would give his life for me.

Sevenhrs
Yeah. See? Blurry. Because it's dark. Crap. If you look next to the piano, there is my stupid camera battery back in the wall. DOING ME NO GOOD. Also in the foreground in my Glide floss, one of 2034845204 Glide flosses hanging around the house, because I floss obsessively. I should have been named Flossie.

Anyway, Edsel and I want you to know that 19% of you sleep about seven hours a night. And you know that scared timid look he gets? Only in photos, friends. In real life he is bold and yappy. That chihuahua coming out. Please, God, help me.

Now, what is most disturbing is that a whopping (and how much do you like the word "whopping"? What a terrible word) 34% of you sleep SIX HOURS OR LESS each night. That's dreadful! Stop reading my blog and go lie down.

I tried to take a picture of Winston, who was SLEEPING SO NICELY in the dog bed, and I thought that'd be cute, and both dogs BOUNDED in there and woke him up. So I shooed their punk arses out and tried again, accidentally taking a movie instead of a photo.

Hate. Then I took a picture.

Sixhrswithbadwin
Mmm! Useful!

Badwinbye
Similarly useful. Do you like my feet-as-erase-board-holder? Classy.

Sixhrs
Finally, look who was good. Miss Wrinkly Head. How come on her wrinkles are cute?

I have no idea where the bedspread is. Oh, wait, yes I do. It's being laundered. And that pillow? Not Edsel's fault. Tallulah chewed the edge off that pillow years ago. You never see these household flaws on The Nester's blog, do you?

Wait. Is that the CLEAN, FOLDED bedspread behind Talu, there, next to chewy pillow? Well, why the hell isn't it just BACK ON THE BED? Did I mention I hate everything today?

At any rate, there were a few outliers. Eight percent of you slept nine hours, and three percent (hello, mom) slept 10 hours. Then some of you did this, "Well, I used to sleep nine but now sometimes it's six unless the baby wakes me then it's two" kind of thing that I didn't know what the Sam Holy Bat Hill to write down.

As per usual, thank you for participating in Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday. That is being held on Thursday today. Because Flossie Pack decided to.

 

81 thoughts on “Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday. Yes, I know it’s Thursday. Live a little.

  1. i was a victim of domestic violence. this is a fun place to come and forget about life’s problems. i do it every day and have no problems with the comments. they’re said in jest. i thought the natalie holloway joke was a oooo cringe, ha ha ha ha.
    when i saw your comment i thought, way to bring down a room.
    if you have a problem with the content, maybe this is not the place for you.

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  2. It’s true I have no sense of humor and your Natalee Holloway remarks are meant in good fun but I still feel awful that two innocent young girls are dead and their killer is not.
    Why couldn’t Joran van der Sloot be trapped for 2 months with 33 burly Chilean miners? I’ll bet some justice would have been served then.
    Sorry to be a wet blanket, I know it’s funny. Maybe I need some pharmaceutical optimization?

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  3. Oh with the mistress! If it weren’t for all the grime he would have been totally red-faced.
    I so hope Mrs. Cheating Miner writes a tell-all book and gets filthy stinking rich from it! He can have his two-bit mistress, she’s gonna have a manservant and a pool boy, I tell you what.
    *nods decisively*

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  4. I was expecting the miner’s mistress to be hot, bless her heart, she looked worse than Carin. He acted like he really didn’t know her. What do you think his wife looks like?
    Run Forrest run, just cracked me up. When doing percentages I always start with the answer, then work from there. Can you tell I failed 8th grade math? I had measles when percentages were being taught.

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  5. Less is more.
    So there.
    And also, aren’t most things always made of atoms or molecules or something you can count? Blood pressure? You know, so um, you could make a case for saying “less”, in all cases.
    You are so very welcome.
    I hate rules. Especially rules about words. With rules? We never would have come up with Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. I think I spelled it wrong. Who doesn’t care?

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  6. Oh you guys, I am dying laughing. I’m still laughing over Jan and Lee’s Terry Schiavo comment and Hulk’s Planet of the Apes comment from yesterday and now today with all the less and fewers …
    Not to mention take a crap in private.
    I would want a Silkwood shower in Purell. Then a crap in private.
    I sort of want details on that stuff … like 33 miners times 70 days of poopage, where is all that now? Was it sanitized somehow? Maybe I don’t want details. Maybe it is now a copper/gold/Chilean poop mine.
    OH! Also your maroon and embezzle reminded me of that movie where there are two thugs and one thug calls the other thug a crouton. That killed me.
    And when I worked in the law firm, we had a client who asked us to hold his money in escarole.
    Ok, now I am off to the Verizon store to look for a better phone, one from this century, since the one I have is similar to the one Radar O’Reilly used in MASH (“Are you there, Sparky?”) and then maybe MAYBE I can play with you guys during the day again! Until Mr. Drysball figures out what I’m doing…

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  7. Oh you guys, I am dying laughing. I’m still laughing over Jan and Lee’s Terry Schiavo comment and Hulk’s Planet of the Apes comment from yesterday and now today with all the less and fewers …
    Not to mention take a crap in private.
    I would want a Silkwood shower in Purell. Then a crap in private.
    I sort of want details on that stuff … like 33 miners times 70 days of poopage, where is all that now? Was it sanitized somehow? Maybe I don’t want details. Maybe it is now a copper/gold/Chilean poop mine.
    OH! Also your maroon and embezzle reminded me of that movie where there are two thugs and one thug calls the other thug a crouton. That killed me.
    And when I worked in the law firm, we had a client who asked us to hold his money in escarole.
    Ok, now I am off to the Verizon store to look for a better phone, one from this century, since the one I have is similar to the one Radar O’Reilly used in MASH (“Are you there, Sparky?”) and then maybe MAYBE I can play with you guys during the day again! Until Mr. Drysball figures out what I’m doing…

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  8. Oh you guys, I am dying laughing. I’m still laughing over Jan and Lee’s Terry Schiavo comment and Hulk’s Planet of the Apes comment from yesterday and now today with all the less and fewers …
    Not to mention take a crap in private.
    I would want a Silkwood shower in Purell. Then a crap in private.
    I sort of want details on that stuff … like 33 miners times 70 days of poopage, where is all that now? Was it sanitized somehow? Maybe I don’t want details. Maybe it is now a copper/gold/Chilean poop mine.
    OH! Also your maroon and embezzle reminded me of that movie where there are two thugs and one thug calls the other thug a crouton. That killed me.
    And when I worked in the law firm, we had a client who asked us to hold his money in escarole.
    Ok, now I am off to the Verizon store to look for a better phone, one from this century, since the one I have is similar to the one Radar O’Reilly used in MASH (“Are you there, Sparky?”) and then maybe MAYBE I can play with you guys during the day again! Until Mr. Drysball figures out what I’m doing…

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  9. The Cheater and Carin were pathetic. He sort of looked confused about who the hell she was and she kept kissing his face, burying her face in his sweaty stinky neck, then looking at him over and over as if trying to elicit the appropriate response from him. It was painful to watch.
    I have 5 children ranging in grade levels from 5th – senior in high school. I gave up helping them in math at the 3rd grade level. June explained how she got the percentages and I still have no idea how to do it. *shrugs*

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  10. I think I should’ve said less.
    I can’t win for losing today! Don’t worry, I’m done now. My rotten person is dragging me away to go socialize and did I mention I have no social skills? That ought to take me down a notch. Like there wasn’t enough of that going on right here already, hmph.

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  11. Auntie Mickie is right honey. To have a majority, one has to have over 50% (half). I think you inherited your math ability from me. It’s interesting that such a lot of people get 6 hours or less of sleep and many of them said they needed more. We are a sleep deprived society. No wonder everyone is so crabby, except on this blog.

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  12. Furry cracked me right on up. I’m still laughing.
    I am sure there are math genes and english/language genes. My girls (6th and 3rd grades) know to just ask their dad for math help. Sometimes, only sometimes, the 3rd grader will bring me math and I can do it. Forget the 6th grade math. She’s doing math I did senior year of high school. And I didn’t do it well then. My hubby makes fun of me but the laughter dies when he needs me to proof something he’s sending out for business. He loses his self-righteous MATH attitude very quickly.

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  13. Furry cracked me right on up. I’m still laughing.
    I am sure there are math genes and english/language genes. My girls (6th and 3rd grades) know to just ask their dad for math help. Sometimes, only sometimes, the 3rd grader will bring me math and I can do it. Forget the 6th grade math. She’s doing math I did senior year of high school. And I didn’t do it well then. My hubby makes fun of me but the laughter dies when he needs me to proof something he’s sending out for business. He loses his self-righteous MATH attitude very quickly.

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  14. Furry cracked me right on up. I’m still laughing.
    I am sure there are math genes and english/language genes. My girls (6th and 3rd grades) know to just ask their dad for math help. Sometimes, only sometimes, the 3rd grader will bring me math and I can do it. Forget the 6th grade math. She’s doing math I did senior year of high school. And I didn’t do it well then. My hubby makes fun of me but the laughter dies when he needs me to proof something he’s sending out for business. He loses his self-righteous MATH attitude very quickly.

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  15. Really now what were Carin, Natalie and Terry doing in that mine?
    I want to give, I’ve been a miner for a heart of gold.

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  16. Yes Furry, Carin is fewer attractive. I know this because I was able to count her.

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  17. I watched that video of the miner/mistress reunion expecting to hate the hot young homewrecker I was envisioning. Instead, I just felt sorry for her. And wanted to smack him on his stinky, cheating head!

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  18. Don’t hate me… 22 is to 62 as x is to 100 is the equation (22/62 = x/100). Then you cross multiply. 62x=2200 x=35.48 .
    Sorry. Simple math equations make me happy.
    And I agree with whoever said the miner/mistress reunion was sad. He did not seem too happy to see her.

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  19. Wait–what is this suddenly, freakin’ SCHOOL? Eww. Major blog turnoff. Orig Joann is right: less math & grammar, more bedazzled genetilia & tasteless jokes.
    And Hulk, we’re your peeps. Don’t ever forget it. No matter what your sister says.

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  20. and not “a little more action” duffylou?
    Has anyone posted without “air quotes’ today. “you’re” “welcome” “June”

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  21. “Less is used for more nebulous things that you cannot really count. Less air, less love, less appreciation.”
    I totally agree June. The Man’s been giving me less love and less appreciation. I definitely think he should get less air.

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  22. Did anyone else find that video of the guy with his mistress kind of sad? She looks so happy to see him and he looks so standoffish.
    I told my husband about the Terri Shiavo thing yesterday when we were laying in bed. We both kept getting fits of giggles thinking about it. I told Original Joann that I had to look up who Natalie Holloway was, so that joke lost some of it’s luster while googling.

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  23. Jill and Furry you are KILLING me! “There are hundreds of air and thousands of time to count them in!”
    Wrong in so many delightful ways! June is having a coronary over there! hee!
    LOVE it!

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  24. On a totally different tangent.
    Flossie, I think you have found your hairstyle.
    Because I am old…..how does Sleeping Beauty read her monitor from there? Binoculars?

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  25. Hulk (Who is wondering if all this torture is some Freudian way of getting back at ALL women...or is he just an a-hole?) says:

    I’m with OJ…less math and language stuff, more air.
    Oh man…my sister posted something on her FB page about watching the miners and how wonderful and God bless everyone da da da…
    So I commented something that I posted on here yesterday. She got so pissed at me. Oh, I was heartless and mean and NOT FUNNY AT ALL…
    Like she was a wife that jsut found out about the mistress while the WHOLE WORLD watched. Awesome.
    Anyone wanna join me for Thanksgiving at Mom’s this year?

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  26. Okay, I don’t come here to sleep through class, kids. Bueller. Bueller.
    Enough about math and fewer or lesser. It was a heck of a lot more fun yesterday when we were talking about miners and Carin the Miner Mistress and pink, sparkly penises, and Courtney Cox and the always funny Terri Schiavo and Natalee Holloway.
    I’m going to go turn on Maury Povich. I guarantee he’s not talking about math.

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  27. Hee! I just read all of yesterday’s comments. MAN! What a bunch of whack jobs we all are! There is no other blog in the world where I would sit and read over 100 comments from the DAY BEFORE!! It’s quite the phenomenon you’ve got over here, Junie-pie!
    And, as I just wrote in yesterday’s comments, Paula H&B deserves some sort of special medal for the Natalie Holloway comment! And, I can’t stop shaking my head and giggling to myself about Jan’s TERRIBLE Terry Schiavo comment on the phone! MAN! Sick puppies! Love it! hee!
    And I’m dying over here that you can’t do math, Junie! Double hee!!

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  28. Yeah, but if I had less hits than my teammate with the same number of at-bats, you couldn’t figure which one of us had the higher batting average!

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  29. You know what you are gonna be counting, Jill? Meat tenderizer. Which you will be using when I beat you. You could technically count them. Like you could say, There are hundreds of snowflakes but you couldnt say, There are hundreds of air.

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  30. Who knew this blog would be so educational? Besides learning the difference between less and fewer, I had to look up the definition of pedantic. Then comes plurality and majority! My brain is spinning.

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  31. Who knew this blog would be so educational? Besides learning the difference between less and fewer, I had to look up the definition of pedantic. Then comes plurality and majority! My brain is spinning.

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  32. Who knew this blog would be so educational? Besides learning the difference between less and fewer, I had to look up the definition of pedantic. Then comes plurality and majority! My brain is spinning.

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  33. Um, don’t know much more math than you do, but I believe 35% would be a plurality and not a majority. Also, the fastest way to find a percentage is to have a calculator that gives you the answer because otherwise, you would still have to know how to do division which is not one of my (many) fortes.

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  34. Maybe it’s “less” when referring to the amount of sleep because you’re counting the sleep amount, not the hours? Or, maybe it’s just one of those times when incorrect grammar has become colloquially correct.

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  35. But … you said “six hours or less.” Aren’t hours individually countable like snowflakes and miles?
    So maybe it’s an informal vs formal thing? Like to say “six hours or fewer” in casual writing would be totally pedantic or something?
    Much like even asking about it in the first place is.
    Aaargh!
    Okay I am shutting up now.

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  36. You know when to use “fewer” and “less” but you don’t know how to figure averages?

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  37. I saw the cheatin’ miner kiss the mistress. Carin has really let herself go.
    Curses, June. Now I have Near! Far! WherEVer you are! stuck in my head. And am craving dijon mustard. And it’s only 7am in CA.

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  38. Siren, you use fewer when you are talking about something you can count individually. So fewer snowflakes, fewer miles, fewer pounds. That is why the grocery aisle should read 10 items or fewer. Less is used for more nebulous things that you cannot really count. Less air, less love, less appreciation.

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  39. All right, you’re the only person whose answer I might trust.
    Why is it okay to say “less” instead of “fewer”?
    Is it because you’re talking about less sleep rather than fewer hours? Or maybe because hours and minutes and such are stand-ins for “time”? Or maybe it’s just in the same category as using “they” in a singular way?
    Do you like how I asked a question and then spent all this time trying to answer it myself? I do that in real life, too.

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  40. Also, I forgot to say…but I read in the paper this morning that the miner’s wife (of 28 years!) was waiting at home, but apparently his mistress was there when he got out and gave him a “long kiss and hug.”

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  41. I would hope that they sent those rescue workers down with some baby wipes and some wisps before sending those smelly guys up!
    A shower? How in world did they do that.
    And June – thanks for teaching me how to get a percent. Big number into small number. Cool!

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  42. Hulk (Who thought the same thing: that president's wife would have preferred to have been ANYWHERE ON THIS EARTH other than where she was...) says:

    “Go home and take a crap in private…”
    Yeah, that’ll have me giggling the rest of the day…
    And the president’s wife?? Wow. She reminded me of how I imagine Junie acting at that Rush concert about an hour in: “OK. We’ve seen them. Can we go now?”

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  43. Hulk (Who thought the same thing: that president's wife would have preferred to have been ANYWHERE ON THIS EARTH other than where she was...) says:

    “Go home and take a crap in private…”
    Yeah, that’ll have me giggling the rest of the day…
    And the president’s wife?? Wow. She reminded me of how I imagine Junie acting at that Rush concert about an hour in: “OK. We’ve seen them. Can we go now?”

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  44. Hulk (Who thought the same thing: that president's wife would have preferred to have been ANYWHERE ON THIS EARTH other than where she was...) says:

    “Go home and take a crap in private…”
    Yeah, that’ll have me giggling the rest of the day…
    And the president’s wife?? Wow. She reminded me of how I imagine Junie acting at that Rush concert about an hour in: “OK. We’ve seen them. Can we go now?”

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  45. Why doesn’t Sleeping beauty have her Bye Bye Pie mug on her desk? And is that a fire extinguisher right behind her head? Also? Love her monitor holder upper thingy.
    I heard on the news this morning those miners had a shower installed somehow in the last couple weeks. What the hell? And we’re supposed to believe they were suffering down there?
    I would like to request a Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday question for next week.
    If you were trapped in a mine for 69 days who/what would you miss most? And what would you do 1st when you got out?

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  46. June, I just kept thinking those men must reek!! I wouldn’t want to be hugging and kissing someone who hadn’t showered, brushed their teeth or used proper bathroom facilities for two months. Nasty.
    Had to go back to read yesterday’s comments for Paula H&B’s Natalee Holloway joke. Hilarious!

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  47. When I take iPhone pictures at night, everybody turns out Jersey Shore tan. I cannot figure it out. My hubs’ phone doesn’t do that.
    Also, June, I am floss obsessed. I keep 3 different kinds in my purse. You know, just to shake things up a bit because I’m pretty wild.
    And I swear, I cannot stop thinking about yesterday’s conversations here. I just walk around snickering.
    I called my sister to tell her about the great Paula H&B’s Natalee Holloway line and my brother in law near about died. He runs a huge trivia night at this bar in downtown Chicago every Weds night. He said he was going to use that as his opening joke.
    By the time my kids get to 3rd grade, I make sure to tell the teacher I will no longer be able to help with the Math homework. Once we get past the times tables, you can forget it.

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  48. Winston looks like a ginger in his photo. And mad that the dogs woke him up.
    Love how Edsel was doing the whole Price is Right model thing with the erase board. He has a future, that one!
    The cheater miner’s wife was waiting to greet him at home. With a frying pan, is my guess.

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  49. You know who isn’t going to be getting a lot of sleep for a while? That miner with the mistress!!!
    Or have we beat that to death?

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