Fortunately, I got home at a decent hour Wednesday night and was able to give you your results from this week's Pieces of Wisdom question. Unfortunately, everything else went wrong.
Well. Not everything. The Manson family didn't bust in and write "Piggy" on my wall or anything, but it was a flusterating evening, as Marvin's ex-coworker used to say. Flusterating, dawg.
First of all, I have had my camera battery plugged in for DAYS, but when I put it in the camera it says, "Change Battery Pack." I never. And stop calling me Pack.
I plugged it back in the wall, and why? If it didn't work last time, why do I think it'll work this time? What a maroon. What an embezzle.
So I had to resort to using my iPone, which would be fine but it's nighttime and so everything came out blurry. Also, I decided to pose the animals, because I am a nature photographer, and what I want to know is how photographers fly out to Africa and get meerkats being all cute or a pelican tossing back a fish when I can't even get my fairly domesticated dogs to sit still with an erase board.
Is what I wonder.
This week's Pieces of Wisdom Q was, How much sleep do you get a night? Sixty-two of you actually answered, and 121 of you commented in total. What does that tell you? It tells you my commenters do go on.
Near! Far! WherEVer you are! I know that my commenters go ONNNNNN!
I am totally banging my chest like what's-her-name right now. What's her name? Celine Dijon or whatever.
So, I added up how many people out of the 62 said, "I sleep eight hours a night" and how many said, "I sleep six hours a night" and so forth. Then I realized I had to do…something…you know, mathematical, to get a percentage.
"Muffin," I asked Marvin, "how do I find out what the percent would be if 22 people out of 62 said they sleep eight hours?"
"Well," said Muffvin, "you add it up."
"Add what up?"
"You have no idea how to find the percent, do you?" I asked. Marvin pointed out he is not a math teacher.
Okay, it is pathetic that neither of us could do this basic math. I had to call my STEPFATHER, who is a MEDICAL DOCTOR, to tell me. And then as soon as he did (you divide the smaller number by the larger number), I was all, "Oh, yeah."
Run, Forrest, run.
Oh, but before I tell you the results, and I know you are squealing and on the edge of your seat, over there, and also calling my university to have my degree revoked, my close personal friend and Faithful Reader Sleeping Beauty wrote in to tell me how SHE gets to sleep.
So, fortunately, the majority of you sleep eight hours. In fact, THIRTY-FIVE PERCENT of you do. I know this because who DOESN'T know how to get percentages? Geez.
Yeah. See? Blurry. Because it's dark. Crap. If you look next to the piano, there is my stupid camera battery back in the wall. DOING ME NO GOOD. Also in the foreground in my Glide floss, one of 2034845204 Glide flosses hanging around the house, because I floss obsessively. I should have been named Flossie.
Anyway, Edsel and I want you to know that 19% of you sleep about seven hours a night. And you know that scared timid look he gets? Only in photos, friends. In real life he is bold and yappy. That chihuahua coming out. Please, God, help me.
Now, what is most disturbing is that a whopping (and how much do you like the word "whopping"? What a terrible word) 34% of you sleep SIX HOURS OR LESS each night. That's dreadful! Stop reading my blog and go lie down.
I tried to take a picture of Winston, who was SLEEPING SO NICELY in the dog bed, and I thought that'd be cute, and both dogs BOUNDED in there and woke him up. So I shooed their punk arses out and tried again, accidentally taking a movie instead of a photo.
Hate. Then I took a picture.
I have no idea where the bedspread is. Oh, wait, yes I do. It's being laundered. And that pillow? Not Edsel's fault. Tallulah chewed the edge off that pillow years ago. You never see these household flaws on The Nester's blog, do you?
Wait. Is that the CLEAN, FOLDED bedspread behind Talu, there, next to chewy pillow? Well, why the hell isn't it just BACK ON THE BED? Did I mention I hate everything today?
At any rate, there were a few outliers. Eight percent of you slept nine hours, and three percent (hello, mom) slept 10 hours. Then some of you did this, "Well, I used to sleep nine but now sometimes it's six unless the baby wakes me then it's two" kind of thing that I didn't know what the Sam Holy Bat Hill to write down.
As per usual, thank you for participating in Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday. That is being held on Thursday today. Because Flossie Pack decided to.