June's stupid life · Pieces of Wisdom

Pieces of Wisdom: Tired of fixing the water bowl

Today's Pieces of Wisdom question actually has nothing to do with the water bowl, but I just added water to that damn dog bowl for the 20432qsju%!942th time today and I am sick and tired of it. Are they licking Lot's Wife?

How many times am I gonna drag out the Lot's Wife reference whenever we need to talk about something salty or very, you know, still? Maybe I should update my material.

My material is stagnant. It is unmoving like Lot's Wife.

See what I did there?

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Anyway, here it is Tuesday already and time for another Pieces of Wisdom. Someone suggested that we ask Marvin questions, which I really don't know how that is pieces of wisdom, precisely, and I don't mean because Marvin is dumb, I mean because the POINT of Pieces of Wisdom was I was supposed to ask YOU something each week, glean YOUR wisdom, but whatever.

What I needed there was a longer sentence. That sentence was as big as Lot's Wife's sodium count. 

…Maybe what I need to do is get a larger water bowl. I am still just using Tallulah's bowl and now we have TWO dogs, plus Lot stops by and he gets thirsty after he makes out with the Mrs.

You know, I found a chat room yesterday where someone recommended my blog, and the recommender said, "The blogger is kind of nuts, but she's funny." Is it stuff like this that makes her say that, do you think?

You know what goes well with nuts?

Salt.

At any rate. So for today's Pieces of Wisdom, here is your chance to ask Marvin any burning queries you may have for him. Perhaps you wonder what his favorite color is. Maybe you need to know more about his band. Or you have been up nights asking yourself, "Why would Marvin finally cave and let June get a puppy?" To which I say, really? This keeps you up nights? Because somewhere outside Sodom and Gomorrah there is a woman made of SALT. That doesn't seem more compelling to you?

Faithful readers will remember we had an Interview Marvin segment a few years back, but people come and go so quickly here. Remember frequent commenter J, who was so funny, and her sister M? And KW from Atlanta? And The Accidental Housewife? They all used to comment all the time. Where did they go? Did they turn to perhaps some kind of pillar of condiment?

So because you are all brand new with the exception of like five people, we can do an ask Marvin again. Please ask your Qs by 5 p.m. Eastern Time, as we have to get to bed and getting Marvin to answer questions is like trying to keep a slug alive around Lot's —

Oh, forget it.

158 thoughts on “Pieces of Wisdom: Tired of fixing the water bowl

  1. Dear Made in Melbourne,
     
    Since you are in Melbourne and on the other side of the earth, maybe it is still Tuesday night there and you do not know the deadline for asking questions has passed. However, Marvin no longer has a blog. Poor Marvin. He got all mad when I had, you know, actual readers, so he stopped. And thanks for reading my dumb blog!

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  2. We’re not all new… some of us just never get around to commenting very often. This little Australian has been reading since ye olde Bye Bye Buy days. My question for Marvin is simple. When I changed from Bloglines to Google Reader (many moons ago) I lost a bundle of my old blogs, including his. Is Marvin still blogging? If so, can you send me the link to his blog so I can read it again? I know you guys are all careful with the privacy and all now, but I miss Marvin’s blog.

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  3. Dear Marvin, My daughter is a 5th grader. What is the one thing you wish all 5th graders would learn by the end of they year even if they don’t learn anything else??

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  4. Right with you Lee: Howard Stern = yuck
    I’m also not an RB fan, nor a Katy Perry fan. Somehow the two of them together remind me of Marilyn Manson and Evan Wood. I don’t even know why that is.
    Also, twelvedaysold, I’m a fan of the magic eraser on my kitchen floors. It works wonders.

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  5. Erin, I’m glad I’m not the only one who doesn’t find Russell Brand to have teh sex appeal. I’ve never heard him talk or anything, so all of you must really like him for his personality because dang. No thanks. Will Smith? Joseph Gordon-Levitt? Yes please.
    Thanks, Katie! We girls have to stick together. Which might be easier than we think if you’re hanging out on my kitchen floor.

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  6. I would like “Dead With No Vagina” on Bye Bye Pie swag, please. A mug, in particular. I think it would look smashing on my desk at work.

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  7. I would like “Dead With No Vagina” on Bye Bye Pie swag, please. A mug, in particular. I think it would look smashing on my desk at work.

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  8. I would like “Dead With No Vagina” on Bye Bye Pie swag, please. A mug, in particular. I think it would look smashing on my desk at work.

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  9. Jan ~ “YOU ARE ALL DEAD WITH NO VAGINAS.” You.Are.Killin.Me. over here. I stil havent googled him and have no effin idea who he is. Of course, you know how I feel about The Howard.

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  10. Jan ~ “YOU ARE ALL DEAD WITH NO VAGINAS.” You.Are.Killin.Me. over here. I stil havent googled him and have no effin idea who he is. Of course, you know how I feel about The Howard.

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  11. Jan ~ “YOU ARE ALL DEAD WITH NO VAGINAS.” You.Are.Killin.Me. over here. I stil havent googled him and have no effin idea who he is. Of course, you know how I feel about The Howard.

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  12. Jan Find the Rhythm, Find the Sway... apparently lovin' me some Russel Brand. And hopes none of ya'll all want him, more for me says:

    June is there ANY WAY for you to get some audio from Howard’s Russel Brand video and link to it or put it on here or SOMETHING??? Because I’m here to tell all ya’ll all that once you hear that man talk about anything at all, (oh, his vocabulary, oh, his way with words) and then all ya’ll all hear him talk about sex specifically, if you aren’t all panting after him the way June and I are, YOU ARE ALL DEAD WITH NO VAGINAS. Seriously. SERIOUSLY.
    I wanted him from the first time I saw him in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It was only cemented after hearing him on Howard Stern, the first time. He was on again last week. And I almost combusted, he was so hot.

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  13. Jan Find the Rhythm, Find the Sway... apparently lovin' me some Russel Brand. And hopes none of ya'll all want him, more for me says:

    June is there ANY WAY for you to get some audio from Howard’s Russel Brand video and link to it or put it on here or SOMETHING??? Because I’m here to tell all ya’ll all that once you hear that man talk about anything at all, (oh, his vocabulary, oh, his way with words) and then all ya’ll all hear him talk about sex specifically, if you aren’t all panting after him the way June and I are, YOU ARE ALL DEAD WITH NO VAGINAS. Seriously. SERIOUSLY.
    I wanted him from the first time I saw him in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It was only cemented after hearing him on Howard Stern, the first time. He was on again last week. And I almost combusted, he was so hot.

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  14. Jan Find the Rhythm, Find the Sway... apparently lovin' me some Russel Brand. And hopes none of ya'll all want him, more for me says:

    June is there ANY WAY for you to get some audio from Howard’s Russel Brand video and link to it or put it on here or SOMETHING??? Because I’m here to tell all ya’ll all that once you hear that man talk about anything at all, (oh, his vocabulary, oh, his way with words) and then all ya’ll all hear him talk about sex specifically, if you aren’t all panting after him the way June and I are, YOU ARE ALL DEAD WITH NO VAGINAS. Seriously. SERIOUSLY.
    I wanted him from the first time I saw him in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It was only cemented after hearing him on Howard Stern, the first time. He was on again last week. And I almost combusted, he was so hot.

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  15. First I had to google Russel Brand, then Jon Hamm. I do not deserve to be reading this blog. But thank you both for keeping me up on who’s HOT!

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  16. Love that under the Jon Hamm picture it just says “you’re welcome.”
    Other Katie (Twelve Days), don’t be ashamed, I’m 25, been living on my own for 6 years, and still can’t clean the floors. What I can tell you: swiffer is for suckers.
    I’ve seen several different versions of Sharks.. what is the one that y’all all keep raving about? (I know there was a whole shark discussion months back or whatever, but once I got to the store I was perplexed and gave up and went home.)
    I’m not going to ask any Marvin questions because it’s past 5 and I follow directions. Heh, kinda.

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  17. Oh Paula H&B. OH PAULA. Yes, yes yes. You would think the temperature dropped to below zero in the room I am sitting when I saw that picture. Yowza. He’s a keeper.
    My list:
    1. Jon Hamm
    2. Jon Hamm’s southern region
    3. Jon Hamm’s picture will do
    4. Hello? Jon?
    5. Jon. Jon. Jon.

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  18. Who the hell is Russel Brand?
    Give me some David Letterman, Sean Connery and Kid Rock. I don’t need 5 when I could have those 3.

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  19. Who the hell is Russel Brand?
    Give me some David Letterman, Sean Connery and Kid Rock. I don’t need 5 when I could have those 3.

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  20. Who the hell is Russel Brand?
    Give me some David Letterman, Sean Connery and Kid Rock. I don’t need 5 when I could have those 3.

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  21. Also there is NOTHING WRONG with doing it with an English Sheepdog. Also also I am not really plotting Katy Perrys death. Does anyone remember how the Dept of Defense kept looking at this blog when I made that innocent joke about the Obama children in my attic?

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  22. Also too, those of you knocking Russel Brand apparently did not hear him talking about sex on Howard Stern. If you had you would be plotting Katy Perrys death as I am.

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  23. RUSSEL BRAND IS NUMBER 1 ON MY LIST OF FIVE!!!!!!!! If I could have him, for reals, I would settle for a list of 1. I so dig him.
    I want you to do the list of five Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday! How fun to find out who everyone is getting all anxious over.

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  24. June,
    Russell Brand is said to be one of the sweetest, most charming men out there. And funny. Give me some funny any day.
    You might have to take Barry to the groomer before you conquer him. All the hair would probably get in the way.
    Anita, people say crap all the time about Bono. And I say, jealoussss.

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  25. Marvin, what do you feel is your most outstanding quality? Think how to describe your personality in one word.
    And what do you feel is June’s most outstanding quality?
    But what word do YOU think SHE would use to describe YOU?
    (THERE… SUPERFLUOUS CAPS…and periods… At least it helps ME figure out what I just said…)

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  26. I’ve always thought my sister looked a little like Clare Danes. And, though I love my sister, I too despise Clare.
    And I love the list of fives. I vote that you use that for next wednesday’s wisdom. I want to know the general consensus around here…

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