I’ve been a miner for a heart of gold

Who can't get enough of herself? I am going as a Chilean miner for Halloween. Would somebody get me out of this hole? What do you mean this is my regular life?

Do you know what the Chilean miners probably wore a lot of? Earrings. Remind me not to wear those tomorrow.

We are having our Halloween party at work tomorrow instead of Friday, I have no idea why, and children are coming, so you can imagine how busy I have been shoving the razor blades in the Baby Ruths and so forth. Also, we are having a cubicle-decorating contest.

I am decorating my cubicle with a sparkly pink skull, naturally; bright green cobweb material; and "funny" tombstones such as the one above. I think I am the only one who will like them. It's kind of editor humor.

Which is a contradiction in terms. We make jokes about leading and kerning and bad apostrophes. I know! You need to stitch up your sides.

When I was a kid, all I dressed up as was some form of fairy princess. I think I was a bride one year, which is, you know, princessy. And one year I was Tinkerbell. And one year I said eff it and was a fairy princess. I stopped beating around the bush.

My friend Pal From MA and I had these matching sandals that we had grown out of, and her mom spraypainted them silver for us so we had princess shoes. I remember us lifting our skirts to show every neighbor our shoes that went with our matching costumes. We were beside ourselves and have been lifting our skirts for the neighbors ever since.

Hi, Pal from MA. Hi, Pal from MA's mom.

So, what are you gonna be for Halloween? Or are you being a GROWNUP and not DOING anything for Halloween? To which I say whatEVER.

I have to go. My wife and mistress are calling. Chi-chi-chi! Le-le-le!

67 thoughts on “I’ve been a miner for a heart of gold

  1. You know the first thing I noticed when I looked at the photo of your costume? How thin you look! I’d be thrilled to have my photo look like that – then maybe I could quit giving all my money to stupid Jenny Craig.


  2. I can’t dress up for Halloween. I have this terrible fear that no one else will be dressed up wherever I’m going and I’ll be embarrassed. That actually happened to when I was a kid so I feel totally justified. DH loves to dress up and has spent years trying to convince me to go to a Halloween party with him. I don’t know if he’ll ever succeed.


  3. Halloween was tonight in my town in MA – perhaps your Pal from MA saw it on the news – selectmen moved it to tonight for safety reasons (NFL game in our town on the 31st) – whee early Halloween. Three of us moms dressed up like Flo from the Progressive Ins. commercials (which supplies downloads of her pins/nametags) and we had scanners, headbands and shouted “discount” all night to anything people said (“want some wine? discount!”). Ialso saw 2 adults dressed as Chilean miners. Ha! Fake moustaches are awesome so I wore one throughout the day just for fun.


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