June's stupid life · Photo essays · Travel

In which June remembers she forgot

I just remembered that I forgot to ever tell you about our trip to Savannah, which I realize we took 11 hundred weeks ago. I also remembered that I told this woman at work that I'd help her write a mission statement and then I never remembered it again. You know what I am? Good at keeping track of stuff.

Also, when were we gonna do our next book club? Because I have not even PURCHASED March yet. I have been working on a freelance assignment and also reading the very important Keith Richards autobiography, so there you go. That's what I've been doing with MY time.

Anyway, so yeah. Last month Marvin and I went to Savannah. Where everything is historic. Because somehow they forgot to burn everything down there during the Civil War. Perhaps one of my ancestors was in charge of that particular city or something.

Teapartydowg
The canines and the felines got to stay home, as my Tea Partier dog-sitter cared for them. No. Wait. See, it was so long ago I have already forgotten. My actual friend in real life Laurie, one of the 87 Lauries who comments here, watched them, and then when we got stuck in traffic on the way home, the Tea Partier helped out. It's all coming back to me now, and I know you all look like Tallulah does here, reading this so-far scintillating post.

Don't you hate it when someone is telling you a story and they sit there going, "Wait, was it last month or in May? Wait, was it Bob or Joe?" and you're all WHO CARES? Just TELL THE STORY.

Do you know what I need, is a dust ruffle or something on that bed.

Prettyhotel
Anyway. Here was our hotel in Savannah. It was  pretty. It had many floors. Are you jamming out to my exciting writing style right now?

Niceroom
Here was our room. It had a bed. It had a wall. It had a dresser. What if all my posts were like this? How soon would you come over and bang me up the head with concrete?

View
We had a little balcony and a view of the water and this boardwalky thing, which seemed like it would be nice but in fact we could hear people partayying all night, which got annoying. Here I am before I knew that dreadful fact.

Beads
Marvin realized he could stand there and look down women's shirts, so his vacation was all set.

Windowseat
I kept trying to look down men's pants, to no avail.

Noheels
One thing you do not want to do in Savannah is sport your stilettos, and you know how I am always traipsing around in my spike heels like Carrie Bradshaw. Not only were the roads, you know, cobblestoney, there were 8 million hundred narrow teeny "hello I'm from 1812 and malnourished and my feet are size two" steps everywhere.

Future
We did not actually visit Sylvia, nor Sylvia's mother. Which is a Dr. Hook song. And I am as old as Savannah, with the knowing there is a Dr. Hook song called Sylvia's Mother.


 

Dr. Hook also sang my 9th grade prom song, Sharing the Night together. Which fortunately for us all I will not share with you tonight together.

Sighhhhhh
But speaking of songs no one should ever have to hear again, Marvin got up before me, as he is wont to do, and FOUND A SALE ON CDs in Savannah. It's like the man can sniff these things out. He has CD-dar. He brought back this disgusting bag of CDs that–guess what!–were $10 because no one on earth wants them!

  Sighhhhagain
Oooo! I am thinking giveaway!

Really
For instance, who doesn't want to sign up to win the original soundtrack to Sex, A Lifelong Pleasure? It is SO much better than those bootleg versions.

Ally
Marvin immediately popped in, so to speak, the Ally McBeal soundtrack. Because do you know who I've missed? Is Vonda Shepard. Do you remember how ridiculous Vonda "never heard of her before or since" Shepard was on every episode of Ally McBeal, singing at the bar they managed to get to EVERY DAY despite their busy legal careers?

Sadly, I must YouTube the Ally McBeal theme song starring Vonda  Shepard now, because you have completely wiped it from your memory and you must relive it as I did.


 

"I believe I am ready for love hasanskafjkld." What does she say there? WHAT?

Anyway.

Merv
And what $10-per-disgusting-bag collection of useless CDs would be complete without a Mev Griffin CD? Yes, it IS like a dream, Merv! And look! This originally went for $14.99! So we got a deal with this CD alone! I mean, except for the part where the WHOLE WORLD went, "pffft!" at that price.

Coffee
At any rate, thank heavens the rest of the trip involved walking around and eating things and shopping and eating things and stopping for things to eat and touring old stuff and maybe getting a bite to eat, maybe.

Ice
Once, Marvin was trying to make a serious point and I looked over and his teeth were all red from his cherry shave ice, which by the way, Marvin will ALWAYS stop for a shave ice if it is there. Anyway he looked like when we were kids and they gave you those red tablets you swished in your mouth that checked for plaque. Do you know what I'm talking about? Or did I dream that with Merv Griffin?

Dinner
At one point we were, oh look!, eating something, and I realized Marvin had never tried coffee. He always says he HATES coffee, and yet has never tried it. So I made him try mine.

Coffeetry
That went well.

Nolike
So then I made a list of all the foods Marvin hates. You know, he really is a picky eater. You'll note I crossed out Spatz bread. That is this Saginaw bread that he hates, but he said he WOULD eat it if there were no other bread. I hardly think that counts and it should stay on the list, but what are you gonna do?

Butt
We went walking one night and passed a band playing in a bar. The guy on drums had a fake butt on. Loved him.

Islandgirl
On our last day, we went to one of the islands off of Georgia, and the best best best thing happened.

Islandduo
For ten years, I lived in LA. And I have been to Mexico. And I was in Wales, too. NONE of those times did I ever see a freaking dolphin. I ran TWENTY-THREE MILES along the Pacific Ocean once, and all my running mates kept saying, "Oh! Did you see that dolphin?" and NO! No I did NOT!

I was beginning to think dolphins were this huge joke the whole world was playing on me. Once my father and I went to Cancun, and as SOON as we got there, I went to the bathroom and he said, "Dolphins were swimming in the ocean while you were gone!" and do you think I saw any the whole trip?

Last summer when I went to the beach with Sleeping Beauty, I was famous at my motel for wanting to see dolphins. People would pass me and say, "We saw some over yonder!" and me? No.

Well. On this day, I was watching a pelican, that's all I was doing, when this BIG OLD FIN jumped out of the water!

"OH!" I said. Then I saw it again! "OH OH OH!" I said, evidently becoming Dick and Jane.

Two little girls were playing nearby and I said, "Did you guys just see those dolphins?" "Where?" they asked, and right then, we saw them again.

"Look! Oh look! See see see!" I said, grabbing Puff and Spot.

I saw eleventy dolphins that day and I do not know why I got so lucky.

Marvin didn't see any.

Ring
Anyway, that was our trip. I bought a lovely ring at a museum, too, by the way.

Okay, now really. That was our trip. The end.

You totally have the Ally McBeal theme song in your head, don't you? HAH!

94 thoughts on “In which June remembers she forgot

  1. Wondered if you’d fallen off the face of the planet, but it was just broken feed. How does that happen?
    Yes to the red plaque revealers. Yuk.
    Yes to the Ally McBeal soundtrack. Had it and not too long ago. Why?
    We are big fans of the Dolphin Show. They perform regularly at St. Simons. Love them.
    My new fun fact: Shel Silverstein wrote that song about Sylvia’s mother. Shel had quite the varied CV.
    Where does one buy a fake butt?
    Last but not least: why are Talu and Edsel sleeping on sheets that match my pajamas?

    Like

  2. 1. June- come here to Fl! Dolphins everywhere! you can stay with me! No dogs but two cats!
    2. I’m w/ Marvin, I love “slushy type items”. My favorite is the now elusive Slush Puppy.
    3. Great ring!

    Like

  3. Anita and Hulk – let’s do this for every post that June has – since Seinfeld has a relatable episode for every situation in life! It’ll drive our June crazy just like the sports talk!
    “Gotta support the team!” Loved Putty and the facepainting episode!

    Like

  4. Dear June – I have subscribed for years and now the RSS feed is not working. I have all of my other feeds from nester, etc. and they are fine, so I just wanted to let you know since I could not find your email here. If it’s me, I can’t seem to fix it – last update feed that came through was Thurs. thanks! love the ring too.

    Like

  5. I have a “peeing” off the balcony story from a spring break that will kill you guys. Maybe someday…

    Like

  6. I loved the first few seasons of Allie McBeal (oh, that Fish) but unfortunately quit watching it before Ironman joined the cast. I’d love to go back and watch that last season just to oogle him. It’d be interesting to see, I seem to remember he was just out of rehab and trying to resurrect his career.
    And personally, I think Sylvia’s mother is a b*tch.
    Thanks for the Savannah shots. It looks like the non-driving part of your vaca was fun.
    Aren’t we due another Edsel growth-chart picture?

    Like

  7. My mother used to listen to her Dr. Hook and The Statler Brothers albums on our RCA turntable when she would clean the house. Now whenever I hear either one, I want to break out the vacuum and find me a patch of avocado shag carpet.
    And, also? No wonder I never win the lottery, I hang out in the wrong kind of stores. And, can I just say – talk about a happy ending! Oh, wait, I guess that would be a massage parlor, not a porn store.

    Like

  8. First order of business; Pal I have already laid first dibs on Edsel! 🙂
    Love the ring!! You know what else I love? Your o’s.
    My Christmas wish is that Tea Partier and I (or is it me) never cross paths again.
    I could have swore Marvin was giving a Vulcan salute in the Aura Shop picture. Guess I was reading too much into the image.

    Like

  9. Nope…just spent 45 minutes watching Seinfeld bloopers on YT…wiping the tears from my eyes.

    Like

  10. I don’t like mushrooms or raisins either. Most of my food choices are based on texture. I hate squishy.
    My husband doesn’t like ice cream. He says it’s too cold. More for me.

    Like

  11. If I won the lottery I wouldn’t tell another living soul. Okay I would tell my parents, but I would not tell my kids, my siblings the guy I live with who’s supposed to be my BF, no one but my folks.

    Like

  12. ~If I won $128 mil I’d brag about it even if I bought the ticket from a gay porn shop…
    ~Gotta eat Spatz’s in a few days, though…after that it gets harder than looking at pet pics every.single.post.
    ~”…from where I was standing, I could directly into the eye of the great fish…”
    “Mammel.”
    “Whatever.”

    Like

  13. Wait, what? I go away for few minutes and find out Hulk is using donuts as his choice of sex toys when he has millions to spend on classy hookers?? Good golly Miss Molly I hope he doesn’t eat them afterward.

    Like

  14. Oh. Two more things. I also need to be invited to the Stalk Barry Gibb trip. I’ve been in love with him since the first Bee Gees album.
    Second, June & Hulk – my grandma who lives in Saginaw ALWAYS has a loaf of Spatz’ bread in her bread bin. Never fails. Last time I was visiting, I had a piece of Spatz’ bread with limburger cheese and mustard on it. Doesn’t get much more German than that, does it?

    Like

  15. You people seriously crack me right up with your commentary (no pun intended…Get it? Crack? Oh, forget it!)
    And, just for the record, I also remember the anal dental lady that would scold us if too much red appeared on our teeth…
    Do you remember the terror of the day we got screened for scoliosis? One of my poor classmates had to wear one of those huge back braces for like a year. Horrid!
    Anita – “…like and old man trying to send soup back in a deli!”
    I’ve heard that a few gajillion times whenever I tell people I was a marine biologist for 20 years!! : ) Never ceases to be funny to me!

    Like

  16. Just saw this article and have to ask Hulk what he plans to do with his winnings.
    “An adult bookstore in Michigan that offers pornographic movies and sex toys has also sold a winning lottery ticket worth $128 million.”

    Like

  17. Just saw this article and have to ask Hulk what he plans to do with his winnings.
    “An adult bookstore in Michigan that offers pornographic movies and sex toys has also sold a winning lottery ticket worth $128 million.”

    Like

  18. Just saw this article and have to ask Hulk what he plans to do with his winnings.
    “An adult bookstore in Michigan that offers pornographic movies and sex toys has also sold a winning lottery ticket worth $128 million.”

    Like

  19. My aunt worked at Spatz’s Bakery forever. I used to get free donuts after I finished my paper route.
    And remember…it’s promoumced “Spotzez”, not “Spaaaatzez”, with the nasally “a”
    I liked it when Ally kissed that other chick. That was the only episode I ever saw…

    Like

  20. What no picture of said dolphins? I do see them a lot here and they are hard to photograph. But I get excited each time I see them.
    Pal, you seem like you have done a lot of interesting things in your life. The whale research remind me of that episode of Seinfeld. The sea was angry that day, my friends.
    So, Barry Gibb lives here in the sunshine state? South FL I’m guessing?

    Like

  21. I am so proud of Muffin! Not once did he wear a short sleeved plaid shirt.
    Also too, Dr. Hook will be singing to me all day today. I will be fighting with Sylvia’s Mother to go away. Far, far away.

    Like

  22. June,
    Since Florida is a very elongated state, I live about 6,000 hours from Barry. But I will make the road trip with you. We could borrow Marvin’s care and we could make a documentary, “Stalking Barry Gibb” And for you, I’ll wear elastic waist pants and my nerd glasses and no makeup and if I really want to be scary, no bra, so there is no chance Barry would fall for me. Unless he likes that kind of thing.
    Also, is the ring better than your class ring?
    I didn’t mind the dancing baby, what I hated was the way that little anorexic pursed her lips so weirdly all the time. It was too distracting and I had to stop watching it.

    Like

  23. No I don’t have the theme song in my head…but I do have the Sylvia’s Mother song in there…thanks so much! There’s not much room in there to begin with and now this…! How do you remember these songs? And did anyone ever find those guys with their bushy hair and beards attractive? Gross-ness!
    I remember those red tablets and the anal dental lady who came twice a year to make us brush our teeth and yell at us for having too many red spots on our teeth. I hated her! Oh, does anyone remember the teeny tiny fluoride pills. I actually liked them…hard to tell what they did to us!
    And the See Spot run books…my husband likes to say “Look! Oh Look! See Spot jump Sally” It doesn’t take much to amuse him, see.

    Like

  24. Tiffaney who's probably the only person on the planet who hated Ally McBeal and that dumbass dancing baby. But really, I'm not bitter. Nope. says:

    LALALALALALA I can’t hear that Ally MCBeal song. Curse, June. Curses.

    Like

  25. Original Joann,
    First of all, I picked the hotel. Also too, if I stay with you in Florida, can we go stalk Barry Gibb? And if we meet him and he loves you, your ass is grass.

    Like

  26. I have so much to say, you know, for a change.
    Yes, your feed is broken. When my feed breaks, I cry and throw stuff until it fixes itself.
    I’m glad to see Marvin is stepping up his game when it comes to hotels. Very pretty. We are going to New Orleans for Thanksgiving and I was checking Trip Advisor reviews. On this one old hotel, a reviewer said it was a great place to stay and they didn’t even mind the ghosts that made noises and left footprints across the sheets while they were sleeping. I’m just wondering why ghosts are walking across people while they’re asleep. What the hell else are these ghosts doing while we’re asleep, would be my worry.
    I, like Marvin, didn’t like coffee until a few years back my husband had me drink a whole cup and I was all, “Hello, my new love!” It’s an acquired taste, easily acquired once you get that blessed jolt of caffeine in your system.
    June, you need to come down to Florida. In certain parts of the gulf, the dolphins will swim right up to you and let you pet them.
    And one more, the ring is beautiful.

    Like

  27. Ok. First? I LOVED Dr. Hook. AND that song Sharing the night together, whooaa-ohhh, ohhh, ohhh, ohhhh…Sharing the night together, whooa-ohhh, ohhh, ohhh, ohhh!!! I love that lead singer’s warbly voice! So, thank you for bringing back the memory of Dr Hook!
    Second? I must have Edsel. I need to have him. Can I, please? His little underbite is quite seriously the most endearing thing I’ve ever seen on a puppydoodlesnickerpie! Could I just borrow him?
    Third? You know I’ve seen millions of dolphins (probably not an exaggeration given that I was a whale research person for 20 years!) and many thousands of whales and it NEVER ceased to be a thrill when I would see them…Even still, it’s been 23 years that I’ve lived here on the ocean (well, NEXT to the ocean, I guess) and we still go out whale-watching on our own boat, and I never, ever tire of whales or dolphins. They are magical!
    Fourth, and finally, the stone in you ring, my dear, is larimar! It is my most favorite stone (aside from sapphire and diamonds! I’m not stupid!) – it is my most favorite semi-precious stone. I learned about larimar when I was in the Dominican Republic in the winter of 1990 & ’91. It’s indigenous to the DR and I bought a bunch of it when I was there! I have a necklace on right now and the stone is from my first trip to the DR! SO pretty! Love the larimar!
    Sorry for the hijack. You got me all in a kerfluffle with your larimar ring!

    Like

  28. I know, Lee. What is with this crowd? And you know what else? We saw six thousand four hundred and twenty-two dead jellyfish, or if they werent dead they were lying in wait on the beach, and I kept waiting to have to pee on Marvin in case he got stung. Made me nervous, all those jellyfish.
    We do not have another trip planned other than going to see family for Thanksgiving and that is not what you would call romantic. No offense, Aunt Kathy.

    Like

  29. Tybee Island Dolphins NEVER disappoint. Tybee is the perfect island…not haughty taughty like Hilton Head (which, incidentally, is 10 miles up the coast by boat). It is the most layed back relaxed place I’ve ever been. We were there 10 days, in a house on the ocean, and we saw dolphins every single day. I never got tired of seeing them. Unfortunately we also saw jelly fish, and they bite/sting/whatever really hard.
    Do you have another weekender planned?
    Please do listen to the sex cd. This crowd goes wild when sex is mentioned.

    Like

  30. Sadie (who can't imagine walking around Savannah in stilettos. Just give me a pair of comfortable walking shoes.) says:

    Savannah is one of our favorite places for a weekend getaway. The trip obviously agreed with you because you both look relaxed and happy. Seeing the dolphins had to be a good omen. You can’t help but smile when you finally see them.
    If the ring made you happy and the cd’s made Marvin happy, you both came home with good souvenirs.
    Also, I love how well Lu and Edsel get along together.
    Marvin’s list of food dislikes reminds me of a friend who asked her future mother-in-law what foods her soon-to-be husband did not like. Her mother-in-law replied that the foods he DID like would be a much shorter list.

    Like

  31. Sadie (who can't imagine walking around Savannah in stilettos. Just give me a pair of comfortable walking shoes.) says:

    Savannah is one of our favorite places for a weekend getaway. The trip obviously agreed with you because you both look relaxed and happy. Seeing the dolphins had to be a good omen. You can’t help but smile when you finally see them.
    If the ring made you happy and the cd’s made Marvin happy, you both came home with good souvenirs.
    Also, I love how well Lu and Edsel get along together.
    Marvin’s list of food dislikes reminds me of a friend who asked her future mother-in-law what foods her soon-to-be husband did not like. Her mother-in-law replied that the foods he DID like would be a much shorter list.

    Like

  32. Sadie (who can't imagine walking around Savannah in stilettos. Just give me a pair of comfortable walking shoes.) says:

    Savannah is one of our favorite places for a weekend getaway. The trip obviously agreed with you because you both look relaxed and happy. Seeing the dolphins had to be a good omen. You can’t help but smile when you finally see them.
    If the ring made you happy and the cd’s made Marvin happy, you both came home with good souvenirs.
    Also, I love how well Lu and Edsel get along together.
    Marvin’s list of food dislikes reminds me of a friend who asked her future mother-in-law what foods her soon-to-be husband did not like. Her mother-in-law replied that the foods he DID like would be a much shorter list.

    Like

  33. Now see? Jewelry! That’s a good souvenir. I always buy a Christmas ornament and a dish towel from wherever we go. Then when I’m in the kitchen hating my family, I can pull out a dish towel and be all Cape Cod! And get happy. And obv our Christmas tree is full of memories, if a little disjointed.

    Like

  34. Now see? Jewelry! That’s a good souvenir. I always buy a Christmas ornament and a dish towel from wherever we go. Then when I’m in the kitchen hating my family, I can pull out a dish towel and be all Cape Cod! And get happy. And obv our Christmas tree is full of memories, if a little disjointed.

    Like

  35. Now see? Jewelry! That’s a good souvenir. I always buy a Christmas ornament and a dish towel from wherever we go. Then when I’m in the kitchen hating my family, I can pull out a dish towel and be all Cape Cod! And get happy. And obv our Christmas tree is full of memories, if a little disjointed.

    Like

  36. That was a beautiful story and you told it well. Looks like a fun trip.
    I love Edsel’s ears. Although, I gotta’ tell ya’ that Lu looks like she’s completely over being photographed.

    Like

  37. Oh, and I googled it and evidently she is ready for what love has to bring. I couldn’t figure out what she was saying, either, and I had completely forgotten that song and singer until I watched the youtube but even then I only vaguely remembered it. I wasn’t allowed to watch Ally McBeal (until I was in 11th grade and Robert Downey Jr. came on and oh my goodness if I had a list of fives, and I certainly did back then, he’d be on it) so I’m not really familiar with it. Which is kind of a good thing, I guess, given how annoying that theme song is.

    Like

  38. You saw dolphins! I never get to see dolphins, either. They’re always eighty thousand miles away by the time someone yells, “Hey, look! Dolphins!” and I miss them.
    And what a pretty ring! It looks like it was a good trip. I hope it was.
    I don’t know if there’s anything you have to do to fix it, but it seems like your feed is broken. I haven’t gotten posts from you in my feed reader since Friday and I got all worried and came over here, only to realize I missed all the fun. When I try to re-subscribe to you, I still don’t see any new posts. So I don’t know. But, I thought I should tell you. Maybe other people have the same problem, or maybe it’s just me and my addled brain.

    Like

  39. B, who can't remember what Marvin's car is except a '66 something or other, which I am sure is a straight shift. says:

    Just look how happy Marvin is though with his 10 dollar CD bargain. That was the best 10 dollars you ever spent, the man is in ‘music-guy’ heaven.
    Love the very artistic photo of your waif-like self in the window. Lovely. You guys do look relaxed.
    Yes, I remember the red tablets they gave you in school or the dentist to see where you HADN’T brushed your teeth well enough.
    If shaved ice and ten dollar bargain basement bag of CD’s make Marvin happy, I’d say he was a cheap date. Thank goodness he doesn’t need a 66 plymouth duster to make him happy.

    Like

  40. Marvin;s eating habits have not changed much since his childhood. I could never understand how he wouldn’t eat chocolate cake or ice cream, but could munch on a green pepper. Trip looks great. Glad you had fun.

    Like

  41. OMG The Aly McBeal song.. I love it….why didn’t Vhonda rock any other songs? I loved that show. That was before we knew Portia DeRossie would marry Ellen. I love the picture of you and Marvin on the Boardwalk. You look really happy. I love your new ring. Tell me June, do you pick up a trinket on every trip? It’s nice that you treat yourself.
    I love the picture of the dogs and the fact that I could see Edsel’s overbite on a Monday morning is fantastic.

    Like

Comments are closed.