Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday: What’s that Smell?

It's Wednesday, which means only one thing. Yes, only ONE. It's Pieces of Wisdom day, and this Wednesday we are covering the deep and sophisticated scents you all wore in high school.

Couldn't I have picked a day that wasn't as hard to write as "Wednesday"? Couldn't I have had Pieces of Wisdom Sunday? But no.

Mindy
Y'all all are killing me with your Sweet Honesty. And yes, that IS Mindy from Mork and Mindy in this ad. Plus also Sweet Honesty has angelica root. What a relief.

[creepy]loves-baby-soft-ad-c1976_preview For those of us hoping Chris Hansen would come in and ask for some sweet tea and put us on Dateline, we wore Love's Baby Soft. I totally wore this and sadly still have some. I bought it to be funny but sometimes I put it on. Because I am odd.

Loveslemon
We also wore Love's Fresh Lemon, and I was among you, apparently being the Love's people's target demographic. I remember wearing the perfume and also some lemon shampoo, and some guy in homeroom saying, "What smells like lemons?" and being traumatized and never wearing Love's Fresh Lemon again.

Charlie-1973
Because who DOESN'T want to look like Katherine Hepburn in On Golden Pond? Charlie. By Revlon.

Wore that, too. What was my problem? Pick a scent. Geez.

Bulimia_ad
Is this woman vomiting into a bowl? Obsession. The fragrance to mask eating disorders. I hate to tell you I wore this too, in college.

SkinMusk_BODYDEO_W
A lot of you said Skin, and do you know Sarah Jessica Parker still wears this? I mean, she probably claims she wears her actual perfume made by her now, but till she made that crappy stuff she always swore she wore Skin Musk. It made me like her even more, that she wore $10 drug store perfume.

Vanilla+fields Do hummingbirds even LIKE vanilla?

So there you go. What slayed me is we all wore the same stuff. There were very few outliers. I guess those marketers do their job!

Oh, wait.

Electric
This was probably the same person who picked Meat Loaf last week.

 

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

96 thoughts on “Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday: What’s that Smell?”

  1. Yep I wore at least half of those. Plus also too the Gloria Vanderbilt. Now I’m lucky to remember to throw on some unscented Secret in the morning.
    Funny story – I bought a small roll on type scent from Avon recently. Good price, thought it would be great to carry in my purse. First time I tried it, it smelled wonderful but I was surprised what a large applicator it had. Yeah, it was scented deodorant and I had just rolled it on my wrists and neck. At least I wasn’t going to be sweaty there.
    Oh and also, these ads remind me of Glamour Shots – anyone remember those places? I blogged about them yesterday and posted my photos from years ago…funny to look back and wonder what was I thinking?
    Thanks June for the trip down scented lane…

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  2. I’m a little disturbed by the Love’s Baby Soft ad. Isn’t that a child that they are depicting as sexy? Except for her hands, which I think were the hands of an adult, that is a kid’s face. I didn’t realize we had sunk so low so early in our history.

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  3. Oh, also, June, you used to like something called Anais (?). Your stepfather thought it smelled like scented toilet paper, remember?

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  4. Did he mean used or unused scented toilet paper?

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  5. Check out the hand on the Love’s Baby Soft child. Did they have photo shop back then? And I need to point out that once you look at the hand you can see nothing else in the ad ever again.

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  6. Also creepy — the obsessed pukey chick. Because where is the nipple? Or maybe I’m creepy because I looked for the nipple.
    Oh, yeah, that last sentence definitely makes me sound creepy.
    Now I’ve totally creeped my own self out. Great.

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  7. Lee (who just found out via fb that someone she knows alo reads BBP but is totally a lurker and it totally made my day to find a kindred spirit.) says:

    “Obsession. The fragrance to mask eating disorders.” Dying.
    The Loves Baby Soft girl = Jon Benet Ramsey and her hand is totally creepy. She is a woman/child. SIREN! That bear is totally licking her hand. Creeped. Out.
    Hulk, it really is astonishing that you are single. Really.

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  8. You could totally rock that Pam Dawber hairstyle. Or the child one which is kinda like your hairstyle now.
    Okay, lemons(tata’s) bottles (vibrator shaped).
    These ad guys had too much time on their hands. (I am assuming the ad guys where guys.)

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  9. I am laughing so hard this morning. The Love’s Baby Soft model completely creeped out… until I got to Chris Hansen offering us sweet tea and that cracked me the hell up. The Obsession model made me laugh hysterically. I’m not quite sure why, what with the obvious anorexia/bulimia going on in that photo, but it struck me as hysterical.

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  10. I remember all those horrible ads.
    And men’s colognes back in the day, there was nothing like a guy wearing Aramis. If a guy at my school was hoping for a little action, the smart ones knew what cologne to put on.
    Does any one remember British Sterling? English Leather? Grey Flannel? Were the people who named these things just hollering out “things you might find in a London bank?”

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  11. I spent my teen years in the jungle of Papua New Guinea, so I mostly just hoped I didn’t smell like a villager. We could buy one brand of body spray in the trade shops which came in a dozen scents. There was one scent called “Fire” something and it was gross. Of course if someone ever gave my sister and I body spray, it was always the “fire” one.
    Finally someone sent me a Seventeen magazine and I fell in love with the ad for Cover Girl Navy perfume. Was sure I’d buy that when we moved back to Canada. By the time we did get back into the land of actual drug stores, I was over it and went for Vanilla Fields. There was a cherry vanilla perfume I loved too.

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  12. Ugh. I wore that awful Vanilla Fields and still to this day HATE everything that is scented vanilla.

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  13. I still wear scented toilet paper Anais Anais! Of course, we call it Anus Anus. Because we are cultured.

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  14. I remember my friend Laurie, from college, getting mad that people mispronounced that perfume. Her nostrils would flare ridiculously and she would say, “It’s onnnn-eye-eeeeese, onnnnn-eye-eeeeese, not annayy annnayyy.”
    Oh she would get mad and contort her face so. Who cares about Apartheid? People were mispronouncing Anais Anais.

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  15. Lisa, my husband’s grandfather used to give all the men in the family British Sterling gift sets for Christmas. They all hated it, but no one ever told him because he had money. But when husband was in college, his grandfather asked him what he wanted, so husband said, “Flannel shirts. I don’t wear cologne. At all. And that stuff stinks.” (Tact was not his forte at that time in his life, apparently.) So grandfather gave him two fabulous and pricey flannel shirts. And everyone else British Sterling. The men were mystified and jealous.

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  16. Love’s Baby Soft = CREEPY.
    The guys did LOVE that Jovan Musk….probably don’t want to examine why too closely.
    Is that Jo from Facts of Life in the last ad? With lighter hair?

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  17. All I want to know is, what cologne did/does Barry Gibb wear? Aaaand….take it away, June!

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  18. “It’s…not a…twist-off…”
    “You have a little something on your face-it’s an eyelash! Make a wish.”
    “I don’t want to.”
    “Make a wish…”
    *blows off eyelash*
    “Didn’t come true…”

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  19. Hulk- you continue to rock the Seinfeld references… love it!
    Although I did bathe in Electric Youth in m youth, I definitely did not have Meatloaf on my list… though I would consider Jon Bon if we’re talking American rockers.

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  20. Dying. Here.
    I feel sorry for Angela who had to sport the “Villager” scent! When we lived in the Philippines I often wore “Oppressed” but that was during the Marcos years.
    Actually the Love’s model was me. I know. Be jealous. I really loved that photo shoot until they brought Hulk in and had him stick his hand in my shot. Yeah, yeah…I’m sure Hulk has stuck it in worse places.

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  21. A downy sheet?? How did you expect to “cling” to your man using THAT???
    AAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…

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  22. A downy sheet?? How did you expect to “cling” to your man using THAT???
    AAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…

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  23. A downy sheet?? How did you expect to “cling” to your man using THAT???
    AAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…

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  24. Mo? *sniff*
    Can I pretend to be too young to remember Deborah Gibson?

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  25. Holy cow, the feed goes down and I’ve spent the last few days thinking something horrible has happened to June and that’s why she hasn’t posted anything since last Friday and then yesterday I finally wised up and went directly to Bye Bye Pie instead of using my Google feed, which ain’t working, and found out I’m SO far behind and am having to play catch up so I didn’t get to participate in Tuesday’s question (which was MY suggestion by the way and do I win an inflatable fruitcake?)and I’m finally completely caught up and can finally chime in and can this sentence be any longer and do I win an inflatable fruitcake for having the world’s longest run on sentence in the comments?
    DEEP BREATH.
    Love’s Baby Soft was so Junior High. Being the sophisticate, I wore Ciara at first but then switched to the swanky “Lauren” by Ralph Lauren and then to the even more high-falutin’ “Giorgio” which I can’t smell today without gagging. And these scents were worn under my Cheerleader uniform or my Jordache, Chemin de Fer or Ditto jeans, Cherokee shoes and cowl neck sweaters with stick pins stuck through the folds of the cowl. Or necklaces with charm holders. Oh, and my hair was in a Cleopatra-gets-a-perm style.
    Beauty, eh?

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  26. June, there is a 2-hour special on the Biography channel on The Bee Gees tonight at 8pm central. I’m sure you have seen it and already know everything in it, just thought I would let you know.

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  27. In fact, Tracy, I think todays standards are more stringent than they were back then, so that is why we are shocked by them now. We were pretty devil-may-care then. Remember 15-year-old Brooke Shields and her Calvins?

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  28. Was anybody else having trouble with google reader? I didn’t know June had updated since last Friday and now all of you people have been commenting and I’m so far behind! Jeez. I don’t know why this is so important to me.

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  29. Does anyone know anything I might have done to break the effing thing? Because if I get one more email saying, June, your blog is broken, I am going to pop out my eyeballs and roast them like chestnuts and eat them and poop them out and put them back in my eye sockets.

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  30. “Bulimia” I like it! The soundtrack for the ad could be from the Bee Gee’s inspired Tragedy!
    “Bulimiaaaa…. when your heads in the bowl n there’s no where to go…Buuuuuulimia! When you’re done upchuckin’ and need a sprucin’ uppin’…Bulimia.” Ah, Ahhhh Ah Bulimia!

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  31. I don’t know, Siren. June may just get a whole new following of grade school aged boys with that eyeball comment.
    I just have her link in my Favorites and check it obsessively multiple times a day.
    And, no, I don’t wear Obsession. Who wants a perfume that says, “Hey, World! I binge and purge.” Not what I want my perfume statement to be.

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  32. I cry when my feed is broken. It seems to work sometimes.
    You can try pinging it. Don’t ask me what that is, because I have no idea, I just know how to press the button that says, “Feed still not working, try pinging it.”
    Next suggestion would be to sleep with someone at your feed host. If it’s Google, ask Anita. But don’t ask me. Those little geeks at Google and Blogger, (same company by the way) hate me because I call them names and curse them openly on my blog. Make sure you wear your class ring when you proposition them.

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  33. I remember good old Brooke and her skinny self…I also remember thinking how fat I was compared to her…I didn’t realize at the time that everyone was fat compared to her.
    I don’t rely on any reader…I just check every day to see what’s up…and I’m never disappointed! There’s always something going on. I like to read the comments as much as the posts.
    Mrs. Oh…I can almost hear that song! Good one!

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  34. I think Mrs. Oh has a hit. Do you write other jingles, too?

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  35. The Obsession bulimic was clearly not obsessed with her hygiene. Either that or she is European. Check the armpit hair.
    And Siren? I also looked for the nipple.

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  36. KILLING ME. I know I’m a day late (GOOGLE READER WASN’T UPDATING YOUR BLOG, JUNE.) but in high school, I wore green tea therapy body spray, and pearberry body spray, and occasionally Shalimar… because my mother wore it. Still does. Oh, and Opium. I wasn’t that big on perfume though. Mostly body sprays from Bath & Body Works.

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  37. Wait, that Obsession ad was a real ad that they used? I thought June just found it on the internet because it was funny. Ya’ll wanted to be just like the bulimic. And Siren, I also searched for her nipple, to no avail. As my husband would say, the best part is missing.
    Can someone send June another email about Reader being down so we can do a “Make June Do It: Burn your eyeballs, poop them, reinsert.”

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  38. I wore Beautiful by Estee Lauder which was anything but. I also wore Exclamation! by someone who apparently loved the 80’s.

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  39. OMG! I googled perfume ads from the ’60’s and found the perfumes I had been trying to remember, Ambush and L’Air du Temp! Okay, now I can sleep tonight. BTW, those ads are interesting. No wonder we all expected out adult life to be different…and better…

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  40. Wore Charlie. Thought it was marvelous. Now I have asthma. Go figure.
    I am mainly sad because I am days behind on your posts due to whatever it is that’s not updating. I read you from the blog roll on my sidebar and it’s not moving you up to the top. The One Lump or Two is the last one showing there.

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  41. What the hell is going on in that Obsession advert? That is just gruesome.
    I had this one scent as a child but now I cannot remember what it was. Shoot.
    However… and not really related… I did love Lipsmackers Dr Pepper chapstick.

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  42. That Love’s Lemon stuff, yes. Charlie, oh yes. Where is the Jean Nate?
    And then my father bought me my first bottle of Chanel No. 5, the real stuff, and still my favorite to this day.
    My mother wore Shalimar, and if I ever smell it, anywhere, I get an instant trip back in time. Shows how much scent triggers memories.

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