In which I threaten to poop my eyeballs

I have said it in the comments. I have said it on Facebook. I have replied to your 202484010 emails. Other than going to each of your houses and having coffee with you to discuss, I do not know what else I can do.

I KNOW THE FEED THING IS NOT UPDATING MY POSTS!

Holy mother of pearl. You'd think aliens landed, with the hysteria this has caused. I do not own Google! I wish I did! I cannot fix this issue!

In the comments, I said:

If I get one more email saying, "June, your blog is broken," I am going to pop out my eyeballs and roast them like chestnuts and eat them and poop them out and put them back in my eye sockets.

Sadly, I DID get more emails re this pressing matter, and my eyeballs are now roasting on an open fire. Jack Frost is also nipping at my nose. I think it's Jack Frost. I can't see.

Mostly I just wanted to use my drop quote feature, above.

In other news, someone mentioned that it was time for another look-how-Edsel-has-grown comparison shot, and because photos of my pets bug Hulk, I was all for that.

Weekone 
The first day we got Edsel he was docile because he was starving to death. LOOK at his skinny self.

Weektwo 
And somehow on week two, I STILL got him over near this chair and my neatly draped sweater. But the thing is, the cat dish is up there currently because Edsel's crate is in the back room, so Francis won't go back there. The whole house is in a lather. So my point is, Fran is often LURKING on that table, waiting to swoop down and smack poor Edsel, resulting in the most pathetic

AAR! AAR! AAR!

you have ever heard. Sometimes he even has a little flash of red where Fran really got him.

Fran is a dick.

Weeksix 
So I lured Edsel over with a treat just now, which of course made Tallulah stampede over as well. But you can see Edsel looks concerned about the whole shebang. "we get treet and get this over with? meen clawns over heer."

Not only is Edsel getting bigger, so are my photographs.

Sleepyboy 
I bring you this picture to show you his long, lengthy legses and also to show you where he has eaten the floor and unraveled the carpet. And no, I STILL have not gotten his DNA results. But whoever said he was a Carolina Dog I think was right as rain. Whatever "right as rain" means.

Also too, our dog walker? The Tea Party lady? Has offered to clean our house for us, and as you can see from that floor, it needs it. My commute is 30-40 minutes each way, and I work late sometimes, and then I have freelance work sometimes, and Marvin works way over 40 hours a week, which is a delight because teachers are paid a TON, and even if he didn't work at all he would never clean the house anyway.

So my point is, I think Ima take her up on it. Because who wants to clean the house on top of all that? Obviously not me. See exhibit one up there with that floor.

Now that Edsel is here, Talu doesn't really need dog day care, although once Edsel is bigger I might send them a few times a month just to socialize Edsel. But anyway, that saves money. And I think I'll only use the Tea Party cleaner twice a month.

I am getting a lot of Tea Partying in my house, aren't I? Pretty soon I will be looking for that birth certificate of Obama's. I KNOW HE'S KENYAN! THAT IS WHY HE WINS MARATHONS!

Anyway. Oh, and happy Veterans Day! I am going to an old folk's home to thank an old Vet. I know. I am a suck-up. Is it politically incorrect to say "old folk's home"? Perhaps I will bring the old Vet an Eskimo pie. Then ask for it back because I am an Indian giver.

What a Gyp.

 

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

69 thoughts on “In which I threaten to poop my eyeballs”

  1. You will be happy to hear (because someone will obviously be reading this to you, what with your toasty roasty eyeballs and so forth) that I don’t even know what this reader thingy is. So broken? Don’t care.
    Edsel is a stitch! Those ears!! Faboosh! And all leggy like that? Precious-o!
    I too am on the verge of outsourcing around the ole homestead. Really. The economy needs spurring, so yee haw! Hubster says no way! Then I point out that we PAY through the eyeballs (sorry June!) to get “his” work done – lawn mowing, snow shoveling, oil changing, and so on. Argument over. Now I just need to find my own Tea Partier. One who will not judge the unkemptness. Or I will be inclined to spiff up before paying for the spiff up. Which shows how nutz I am.
    Maybe I can find one with no eyeballs to speak of? Or speak with? Or speak of what she sees with?

    Like

  2. Why oh why wou,d someone put you on a reader feed? Don’t they know that all the fun is HERE! Not on some readers feed.
    On team Fran because, yeah, his grumpy self rocks.
    My vet is still MIA. His 20 years took something from him and us that I don’t know when he’ll become whole again. Serving our country just doesn’t take life or limb. It can take your heart.

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  3. Funny how Edsel has already learned how to stay out of Fran’s reach. Maybe you can move the chair next time. Poor Edsel, taking hazardous chances just for your picture taking amusement.
    Hug a Vet for me today! I already hugged mine.

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  4. He looks EXACTLY like the Carolina dog. I had no idea of the Carolina dog before it was pointed out on this blog which is why my panties are in a wad when someone comes to my booth at a show and says, “Do you have any Bernese Mountain Dogs on the smallish side in the small ornament?”
    Um, yeah. I have done all 4,876,963.2 AKC approved breeds on all of my products. I’ve even hand painted every variety of mutt in every color variation! Would you like to see the butter dish in the malty peekapoo? Brindle or golden?
    *rolls eyes*

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  5. He looks EXACTLY like the Carolina dog. I had no idea of the Carolina dog before it was pointed out on this blog which is why my panties are in a wad when someone comes to my booth at a show and says, “Do you have any Bernese Mountain Dogs on the smallish side in the small ornament?”
    Um, yeah. I have done all 4,876,963.2 AKC approved breeds on all of my products. I’ve even hand painted every variety of mutt in every color variation! Would you like to see the butter dish in the malty peekapoo? Brindle or golden?
    *rolls eyes*

    Like

  6. He looks EXACTLY like the Carolina dog. I had no idea of the Carolina dog before it was pointed out on this blog which is why my panties are in a wad when someone comes to my booth at a show and says, “Do you have any Bernese Mountain Dogs on the smallish side in the small ornament?”
    Um, yeah. I have done all 4,876,963.2 AKC approved breeds on all of my products. I’ve even hand painted every variety of mutt in every color variation! Would you like to see the butter dish in the malty peekapoo? Brindle or golden?
    *rolls eyes*

    Like

  7. HEY JUNE!
    YOUR FEED IS BROKEN!!!! Just thought you’d like to know.
    Remember my tip: Ask Anita who you should sleep with at Google. The geeks over there would probably do a lot more than fix your feed once you flash that class ring at them.
    I confess, I have my Maria who comes once a week to my house. Maria is my favorite person in the whole wide world. She makes me happier than chocolate and shoes combined.
    We are headed out to the Veteran’s Day parade this afternoon. We try to go every year. This year, I might just give my girls to the armed forces because they’re all PMSing and I’m really not too fond of them at the moment. And that is the biggest understatement of my life.

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  8. Edsel is adorable. Whadda face! I love Lu’s crossed eyeballs in that photo. Maybe you should warn her that if keeps crossing her eyes, they’ll pop out. Oh, wait…
    I guessed Carolina dog and am very patiently waiting for my prize which I hope hope hope is an inflatable fruitcake.

    Like

  9. Are you sure Edsel isn’t part deer? And where is he sleeping, the ghetto?
    Wonderful you are getting help with the housework, could you send her and pay for her to come here also? Thank you in advance.
    So, shall you trust Talu or Edsel with the seeing eye dog duties or shall you just acquire another doggy?
    Furry, not much hope at the ‘Hope House’? Good luck on that.
    Feed reader …schmeed reader…I don’t even have a cell phone and I still have dial up…so feed readering isn’t on my affordable list.
    Thank you sincerely to all the Vets out there. I really do appreciate your service to our country on our behalf. THANKS

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  10. I guess it’s too early for me, but I thought that last shot of Edsel he was tiptoeing. So I was all how did she teach him that?

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  11. Talu sure looks threatening in the picture. “Hey you, big hair. Don’t even think about treating runt without giving Lu treats first. You like hand, right?”
    My Dad is my special veteran. He was injured in WWII and spent three and a half years in hospitals before he came home. I can’t even fathom that time span spent in hospitals all at one time. Gee, way to bring down a room, Duffy.

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  12. Thank you to all of our vets, living and deceased.
    Laurie, enjoy the freebies today. You earned them.

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  13. Your dogs are adorable! I love it when you post pictures of your dogs. I think Talu will always be my favorite. Don’t tell Edsel.

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  14. My goodness how Edsel reminds me of Lady with her hugemongous ears and her stick legs! Paint Edsel black and you’ve got Lady. Well minus his ding-dong, right?
    Ahem.
    He is SO cute and I can’t wait for the genetic test to come back. I also think he might be part deer.
    And, I’m all for the house cleaner people. Especially with your schedule and the herd of wild critters living in your house!!

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  15. I just laughed out loud at Laura Ingalls Widler. I didn’t know they even had dial up anymore. All that beep boop beep drove me nuts.
    Here is my suggestion to all you google reader problem people. (say that 5 times fast). Delete June from your reader and resubscribe. It will pick up her new feed. That worked for me on a different blog. Or I can give you Larry’s number and a list of all his favorite pleasures he so enjoys.

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  16. Your feed is out? Didn’t even know that.
    My vet hero is my Dad. He served in the US Army during WWII in the European Theater, fought in the Battle of the Bulge and was wounded twice. He is truly from the greatest generation.
    I did hug my hubby vet this morning.
    You know who I am, please hug your vet and thank him for his sacrifice serving our country.

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  17. I miss Edsel’s flopping to the side/flying nun ears. He looks scared sh*tless in that chair photo…
    “uhmmm, big hair ma’am. Please gimme dat treat before dick Fran smacks me upside my cayoot head.”
    Is that last picture the one you took after Edsel’s beat down from dicky Fran?
    And Talu is looking rather pitbully these days. I want to smooch her noggin!

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  18. Ummm… I am putting my money on Edsel being part deer or gazelle perhaps??? He looks so terrified in that picture. I love to see dog’s emotions on their little faces.
    The cleaning lady/dog walker will be worth every penny. You deserve it!

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  19. June,
    They could have, it’s a small world. My Dad was in the 2nd Division (Ozark). I found a nice hardback book one day on a sale table “US Forces in Europe.” I opened it the very first photo in the book, which was a double page (side by side) photo at the very front of the book (you probably know the proper name (where the book title, author’s name and who published the book is printed)was a photo taken 1 March 1945 of US troops deep in Germany and I’m almost positive my Dad is in right there in the photo. One thing that convinces me, his stance and the way he has his thumb resting on his equipment belt. Needless to say I bought the book. My brother thinks it’s him as well. I have another photo of Daddy he sent to my Mom and he had written on it “Limback Germany June 1945.” I keep that photo in the book.

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  20. Tee, were you reading my blog when I told the story about my grandfather being in one of those Time Life books doing the jitterbug with another soldier? He found that picture himself and it is too cool. That is my OTHER grandfather, tho, not the Bulge one. Im sure hed be happy to be referred to as The Bulge One.

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  21. Just to let y’all know: I will report on the state of June’s eyeballs in a couple of hours, because I am getting to have lunch with her! In person! Woo hoo! I’m eight kinds of excited!
    Also, you mean Obama was NOT born in Kenya? Isn’t Hawaii the capital of Kenya? Who drew this map??

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  22. I’ve been reading your blog a long time, but I don’t recall that post. It would be great for you to do a rerun on that one. They are surly the greatest generation!

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  23. Thank you for going to the old folks’ home to thank an old Vet. That is an awesome Veteran’s Day activity.
    (Just take TWO Eskimo Pies!)

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  24. Fran IS a dick. God I love that cat.

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  25. oops. I feel love FOR, not to.
    Me talk pretty one day.

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  26. wait, there are like 48,762,059 grammatical errors in each of my sentences above. I bet June is peeing in her chair and smoke is coming out of her ears like a cartoon character. TEE!!!
    hey that would be a good wedgies of wisdom question: which cartoon character are you most like and why.

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  27. haha, Tee, I meant mine as “teehee,” not a direct reference to you, the person Tee. Not that I’m taking that you thought that either.
    Who’s on first?

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  28. I say Edsel is part fennec fox.
    The Bethinator cleans our house every other Wednesday and she has saved my marriage, my sanity and my kids’ lives. I don’t know if she’s a Tea Partier; she could be a Nazi and I wouldn’t care as long as she did my floors. Well ok, not a Nazi.

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  29. I say Edsel is part fennec fox.
    The Bethinator cleans our house every other Wednesday and she has saved my marriage, my sanity and my kids’ lives. I don’t know if she’s a Tea Partier; she could be a Nazi and I wouldn’t care as long as she did my floors. Well ok, not a Nazi.

    Like

  30. I say Edsel is part fennec fox.
    The Bethinator cleans our house every other Wednesday and she has saved my marriage, my sanity and my kids’ lives. I don’t know if she’s a Tea Partier; she could be a Nazi and I wouldn’t care as long as she did my floors. Well ok, not a Nazi.

    Like

  31. Just FYI: June is absolutely as funny in person as she is here. And her hair is fab, so she’s a big ol’ liar on that score. I felt quite dowdy next to her.

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  32. Thanks to all the Veterans! (Should I capitalize that word?)
    My dad was the company clerk in a MASH unit in Korea. No, really.

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  33. I am dying to know how you possibly humiliated yourself. It sounds highly unlikely to me!!

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  34. June, I guess I’m so used to humiliating myself that I didn’t notice. Join the club.

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  35. You humiliated yourself? ‘splain please!
    I have to admit that I do have a cleaning service – but only once a month. Of course, since I live in a 700sq condo, I guess this makes me the laziest person on the planet.

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  36. Edsel is ridiculously cute! Love those ears!!
    My hubby retired from the Air Force last year and we realized that if the US goes to war in the next 20 years, it will be the first time a member of his family hasn’t been in the military and actively fighting in a US war! Hubby’s family has been here since the late 1600s and at least one man from his family has fought in every war since, including the French and Indian War. Pretty nuts, huh? I’m not really hoping that our son goes into the military (right now he’s 6 years old) but if he does, at least he has a proud heritage of military service!

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  37. june, dear, i thought you died… then i left the googlereader and ACTUALLY went to your blog, and realized that it’s not you, it’s me… or rather, googlereader.
    however, i deleted your blog from my subscription list, and then re-added it, and magically, it works now… maybe others should do the same??? 🙂

    Like

  38. Thanks for the hoots and hollers on dial-up. I shall slink to the corner now and try not to stick out.
    I am sure Laura Ingalls-Wilder’s dial up was faster than mine.

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  39. I tried deleting BBP from my Google feed and grain and then resubscribing but it didn’t work. But wait! It gets better! I can no longer open, meaning READ, BBP on my ancient iMac. It starts to load and then freezes up and I have to Force Quit. At least I still have my backup laptop because I NEED my June, Marvin and the kids fix. Especially that ding-dang cute Edsel and his underbitey.
    Oh and also too, my Grandpa was in a battalion somewhere in Europe during WWII. Maybe your Grandpa knew him.

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  40. Did NOT know the feed was out, so I’ve been sitting, waiting, wishing, hoping, dreaming that June would say something, anything. Finally, I got my lazy ol’ fingers to type and ta da! A whole collection for me to catch up on! Schweeet!
    Go Team Dick, er Fran!

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  41. Love Lula’s crossed eye and Edsel’s green ones. I am so looking forward to the dna results. I heart Edsel’s ears so bad.

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  42. I want a Tea Party cleaning lady…shoot, I’d settle for a Tupperware Party cleaning lady.
    I love those gigantic ears and also the color of both Ed and Talu…nice shot of Talu’s nostrils!
    Waiting to hear about the humiliation.

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  43. If you click on the orange RSS feed icon,(top right of the window), then click on each of the feed icons, you can see that even though the blog post feeds are broken…the comment feeds work! Maybe I should just read the comments instead of the posts…

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  44. No work today so that typically means no blog reading. I know: I am a dedicated worker reading blogs all day long while at work. Any. How.
    Am I the only one that thinks ‘before’ Edsel would make a great doggy spokemodel for the doggy version of Obsession?
    Oh yeah – did you know your feed is broken? *snarky laff*

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