Kiss me, I’m Irish. Also? Heil!

Last night I was working late, you know, at work, and they told me there was just one more paragraph coming for me to look at and once I looked at that everyone else could do all the things they had to do, like make it all pretty and lay it out and so forth, and then everyone could go home.

So BOOM, there came the email with said paragraph, and just as I was reading it, DING! came a personal email.

IT WAS EDSEL'S DNA RESULTS!

Oh, I had a Goofus and Gallant moment. Do my work so everyone else could go home, or STAMPEDE for my email to see what my doggie was?

I will let you guess if I was good or bad.

Anyway, here is what I saw.

Edselbreed
My baby is a German shepherd and an Irish Setter! Manly, yes, but I like it too!

Why can I never talk about Irish things without mentioning Irish Spring? I am obsessed.

Oh, I'm so GLAD he's decent breeds. No offense to old Pit Bull/Beagle Tallulah, over here. But please.

In case you didn't read what it said above, like Gladys who asked in the comments the other day if that was Mindy in the Sweet Honesty ad, when I SAID it was Mindy in the Sweet Honesty ad, SKIMMY GLADYS, they also mention that Edsel has other breeds they can't quite detect.

Do you know why? BECAUSE HE IS ALSO A CAROLINA DOG AND I JUST KNOW IT and I know they don't test for that.

German shepherd and Irish Setter. Yay. I am similarly German and Irish, you know. Maybe Edsel will turn out to be a big drunk like me.

Okay, I have to go but I did want to tell you one more thing. About my humiliation at work. And how I am never smooth. Ever.

It was someone's birthday yesterday, and so this incredibly domestic 23-year-old made THREE cakes for said coworker, and on a side note I do not know why anyone has not snatched this 23-year-old up and married her. She is cute as a button, was prom queen, and she cooks like a demon. Am seriously considering bringing her home as a sister wife myself.

So she made a vanilla cake, a strawberry and white chocolate chip and graham cracker ice cream cake, and a chocolate ice cream cake, and we were all in the break room getting fatter. Someone said, "Did you see the guy doing the presentation today?"

Between bites of my chocolate ice cream cake, because of course I picked the chocolate, I'm no fool, I said, "Morrf? Wroeoeer wwoer meeea?"

Turns out there was someone giving a presentation who they said looked and dressed like Don Draper from Mad Men. Mad Men is my favorite show, and Don Draper could not be hotter.

Don
Okay, I know I'm married, but I can GLANCE at the modern Don Draper giving a presentation, can't I?

So I take my cake over there, because God forbid I go one second without food, and in my high-heeled boots, saunter past the presentation. Oh, I was a cool customer.

Just as I pass the Don Draper guy, who really was cute, I take a bite of my ice cream cake. And it falls out of my mouth and onto my chesteldy area.

This never happens to Joan on Mad Men.

Okay, my western European puppy and I have to go talk about, you know, schnitzel and whiskey and jigs and sauerkraut.

 

61 thoughts on “Kiss me, I’m Irish. Also? Heil!

  1. Goofus and Gallant, whoa. I remember finding a stack of ancient magazines in the attic with that cartoon in it. As I recall, the whole magazine was pretty stupid.
    Er, vintage. I mean vintage. Not ancient.

    Like

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