Kiss me, I’m Irish. Also? Heil!

Last night I was working late, you know, at work, and they told me there was just one more paragraph coming for me to look at and once I looked at that everyone else could do all the things they had to do, like make it all pretty and lay it out and so forth, and then everyone could go home.

So BOOM, there came the email with said paragraph, and just as I was reading it, DING! came a personal email.

IT WAS EDSEL'S DNA RESULTS!

Oh, I had a Goofus and Gallant moment. Do my work so everyone else could go home, or STAMPEDE for my email to see what my doggie was?

I will let you guess if I was good or bad.

Anyway, here is what I saw.

Edselbreed
My baby is a German shepherd and an Irish Setter! Manly, yes, but I like it too!

Why can I never talk about Irish things without mentioning Irish Spring? I am obsessed.

Oh, I'm so GLAD he's decent breeds. No offense to old Pit Bull/Beagle Tallulah, over here. But please.

In case you didn't read what it said above, like Gladys who asked in the comments the other day if that was Mindy in the Sweet Honesty ad, when I SAID it was Mindy in the Sweet Honesty ad, SKIMMY GLADYS, they also mention that Edsel has other breeds they can't quite detect.

Do you know why? BECAUSE HE IS ALSO A CAROLINA DOG AND I JUST KNOW IT and I know they don't test for that.

German shepherd and Irish Setter. Yay. I am similarly German and Irish, you know. Maybe Edsel will turn out to be a big drunk like me.

Okay, I have to go but I did want to tell you one more thing. About my humiliation at work. And how I am never smooth. Ever.

It was someone's birthday yesterday, and so this incredibly domestic 23-year-old made THREE cakes for said coworker, and on a side note I do not know why anyone has not snatched this 23-year-old up and married her. She is cute as a button, was prom queen, and she cooks like a demon. Am seriously considering bringing her home as a sister wife myself.

So she made a vanilla cake, a strawberry and white chocolate chip and graham cracker ice cream cake, and a chocolate ice cream cake, and we were all in the break room getting fatter. Someone said, "Did you see the guy doing the presentation today?"

Between bites of my chocolate ice cream cake, because of course I picked the chocolate, I'm no fool, I said, "Morrf? Wroeoeer wwoer meeea?"

Turns out there was someone giving a presentation who they said looked and dressed like Don Draper from Mad Men. Mad Men is my favorite show, and Don Draper could not be hotter.

Don
Okay, I know I'm married, but I can GLANCE at the modern Don Draper giving a presentation, can't I?

So I take my cake over there, because God forbid I go one second without food, and in my high-heeled boots, saunter past the presentation. Oh, I was a cool customer.

Just as I pass the Don Draper guy, who really was cute, I take a bite of my ice cream cake. And it falls out of my mouth and onto my chesteldy area.

This never happens to Joan on Mad Men.

Okay, my western European puppy and I have to go talk about, you know, schnitzel and whiskey and jigs and sauerkraut.

 

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

61 thoughts on “Kiss me, I’m Irish. Also? Heil!”

  1. Does that mean that Ed (oh are you going to HATE that nickname?) is going to turn into a red head when he grows up?

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  2. I think you disregarded the whole work thing and read the personal email .. after all .. that was far more important than some paragraph that needed reading.

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  3. OOOh so classy! We have a German Shepherd/coonhound we’d love to hook ‘im up with… She’s a can do gal who’ll climb a tree or go down a well better than Lassie. And a grouchy Beagle that snores n farts but proudly wears fight scars from besting a groundhog that Tallulah might fancy??? Wish we lived near your (weird) world for a romp in the park w/beer n schnitzels! Love.Your.Blog. Twentysomethin career women/bakers who have their act too together and upstage me; not .

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  4. At least you finally know right?
    The reason nothing like that happens to Joan is becaus she has the advantage of being scripted. Don’t you wish you could sometimes do a retake of a scene in your life?

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  5. Your tease post “Edsel” just cracked me up and even Marv over there was participating in the tease. Hilarious!
    How embarrassing dropping the ice cream all over your chesty self. Sounds like something I would do.
    A good question for a post, what is your ancestry?

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  6. What a beautiful combination! I bet you he will get a little red headed as he grows.
    And I agree, that pup is a Carolina dog, if I’ve ever seen one. Actually, I’ve only seen one. But Edsel looked just like her. Did you know that the Carolina dog is also called the American Dingo? I only mention that because I look for any opportunity to say, “The Dingo ate my baby!”
    Your ice cream cake/chesticle/Don Draper moment is a classic. I am constantly humiliating myself in klutzy ways, too. Think of the bright spot. Don Draper will remember you.

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  7. A mouthful of chocolate cake would be lost on the vast expanse of Joan’s chest. Please. Girlfriend could serve sheetcake on those puppies.

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  8. A mouthful of chocolate cake would be lost on the vast expanse of Joan’s chest. Please. Girlfriend could serve sheetcake on those puppies.

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  9. A mouthful of chocolate cake would be lost on the vast expanse of Joan’s chest. Please. Girlfriend could serve sheetcake on those puppies.

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  10. Well slap my hide. I never would have pegged him to be german sheppardy. Well for that matter irish settery. Does he have ANY red on him? However. The german/irish mix is sure to be a hit. My hubs is german, I’m nearly 100% irish. And we’ve turned out ok. Cuz apparently? That even made any dadgum sense.

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  11. Irish Setter? Who’da thunk it? Whatever combination he is sure works for him ’cause he is a cutie.
    I remember Doug Heffernan on King of Queens had himself an upstairs wife to take care of his upstairs needs and his dog walker moved in to become his downstairs wife who took care of his kitchenly needs. Funny stuff and a great idea to boot!

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  12. June, You take the cake (so to speak) with your embarrassing moment. At least you didn’t trip on your high-heeled boots and land on your ass at the same time.
    As for Edsel, I don’t think they tested for Carolina Dog because he looks like the poster dog for that breed. He and Lu are two cutie-pies who are lucky to have such a great home.

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  13. So if we move Carolina Dog to the 50% dot, and then move up the German Shepherd and the Irish Setter, Edsel is now a half Irish/half German Southern back-woods Hill William.
    I think me and Edsel are related! Kin folks that is. (For some reason this whole back-woods wild dog from the south thing has me talking like Jed Clampett)

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  14. I was looking up Carolina dogs yesterday and saw some pictures that looked almost exactly like Edsel. So I was thinking okay June has a Pit Bull and a Dingo. It’s basically a baby horror movie waiting to happen. And that’s without even considering the Francis factor.
    Tried to get into Mad Men and just couldn’t. I found too many of the characters loathesome to be interested in watching. Now if the show just followed Joan and her curves around all the time, I would so be there.

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  15. The Pit Bull, the Dingo and … FRANCIS
    Sounds like a great slasher-movie title to me.

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  16. Our little Edsel – German Irish Shep-Set! I like!
    The Irish Setter part is where he gets his lanky long legs. And those German Shep ears? I cannot get over those ears!! As I have mentioned a thousand-leventy times, my girl, Lady was part German Shep and she had those giant ears! People thought I should have named her Yoda!
    When I got Lady’s DNA done, it turns out she was German Shepherd and goat! (Just kiddin!)

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  17. First off – what’s Carolina dog? I’ve heard of a lot of breeds, but no Carolina Dog.
    Also, I want to trade places with Furry Godmother. Whenever I spill on my chest, my feet get wet. When God was handing out boobs, I forgot to stand in line…
    I love love love Edsel’s combo! Those German Shepherd ears just crack me right the heck up!

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  18. Damn, I didn’t win the DNA Sweepstakes and once again, I don’t win the inflatable fruitcake. My life sucks.
    Irish Setter? Really? Edsel looks as much Irish Setter as he does English Sheepdog, as in Not. At. All.
    I’m so not contributing any of my Humiliating Moments if that’s what the next Pieces of Wisdom subject will be. Uh uh, no way.

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  19. Kim’s wet feet sound like me. June and Furry need to quit bragging!

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  20. Kim’s wet feet sound like me. June and Furry need to quit bragging!

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  21. Kim’s wet feet sound like me. June and Furry need to quit bragging!

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  22. Furry , I was thinking that is just the kind of sister wife I would want. Take some of the pressure off of me.

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  23. Okay June, spill… who did you sleep with to get back in with the google reader?? 😉
    Also – I agree about the Carolina dog – there is definately a resemblance there.

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  24. Sister wife. DYING!
    I am glad the mystery is solved. He is adorable. And so is Talu. I wouldn’t want to leave her out and then she comes and pit bull/ beagle attacks me.

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  25. I googled “Carolina dog” and may as well have googled “Edsel”. Definitely part Carolina dog!
    Just hope he doesn’t get the Irish Setter brain. Assuming they have one….all the Irish Setters I know have been dumb as a box of rocks.

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  26. Well now Furry Go Mo ….like I would ever in my lifetime have a sister wife…..I was just thinking out loud. So to speak. It would never happen. Heeeeeee

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  27. I want a sister wife so that every second and/or third night I would have my bed to myself. I would put clean sheets on it and revel in being in it by myself. Also, too? If I wanted to go work out, go to the movies, out to dinner, WHATEVER, I could just turn to the other sister wife(s) and tell them I was running out. Built in child care, built in husband care. I could go out and not worry about coming home to the house being a disaster and the kitchen dirty and full of dishes that I didn’t eat from.

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  28. Years and years and YEARS ago, Suzanne Pleshette was on the Tonight Show. And she had an Irish setter and this was before everyone had to be politically correct. And I remember her saying that as much as she loved the dog, he clearly had a national obligation to be stupid.

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  29. Years and years and YEARS ago, Suzanne Pleshette was on the Tonight Show. And she had an Irish setter and this was before everyone had to be politically correct. And I remember her saying that as much as she loved the dog, he clearly had a national obligation to be stupid.

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  30. Years and years and YEARS ago, Suzanne Pleshette was on the Tonight Show. And she had an Irish setter and this was before everyone had to be politically correct. And I remember her saying that as much as she loved the dog, he clearly had a national obligation to be stupid.

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  31. I couldn’t put up with a sister wife. I’d be too jealous, and hubby can barely keep up with me as it is. We have talked for years about getting a eunuch though. He could be my personal trainer, play baseball with the boys, do general handyman stuff, and with the right skill-set, make a mean dinner. If you meet any good eunuch candidates, please tell!

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  32. We have 2 German shepherds and 2 Jack Russells so my hilarious husband calls them the Germans and the Jacks.
    The Germans follow me everywhere and try to herd me when we go on walks and will protect me to the death, the Jacks notsomuch.
    The Germans shed like crazy.
    I cannot think of a single day when there hasn’t been a dog hair tumbleweed in my house.

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  33. Sorry, June – my last post was so selfish. I didn’t say congratulations and sorry about the cake and all that, and it’s your blog even. I am very excited to hear the news about Edsel – I guess that explains the ears.

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  34. I’m glad your happy with the results, but my brother took a DNA test for genealogy purposes and he was not nearly as excited. It seems we may have a relative living in Australia, like 10 or 15 generations removed. I may start speaking with an Australian accent. Anyhow, I did not read your comments, but I’m sure you’re now getting emails letting you know that Google is working again. Ha!
    Have to go to my Eastern Star meeting now.

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  35. Goofus and Gallant, whoa. I remember finding a stack of ancient magazines in the attic with that cartoon in it. As I recall, the whole magazine was pretty stupid.
    Er, vintage. I mean vintage. Not ancient.

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