Current Affairs, June's stupid life, Marvin

Princess June and Birthday Boy Marvin

Today is Marvin's birthday. He is 14.

Marvbday
Here he is about to open his gifts. That's my coffee, of course.

Cynicaledsel
"what dis birfday? never herd. edsel not have birfdays. r you sure there is rully such a thing?"

Mrmarvin
In other news, Marvin's school picture came, in case anyone would like wallet-size editions. Do I get a kick out of the fact that he gets school pictures every year?

In other also too news, WHO CANNOT GET OVER THE ROYAL WEDDING?!?!?!

This is the best thing that has happened to me since 1981, when Diana and Charles married. Oh, I think Kate is lovely, and poised, and all those things I am not. In that interview I totally would have made a dick joke, I just know it. William would not know where to put me.

I guess I would have been the Sarah Ferguson of the royal family.

Didn't she look BEAUTIFUL in that blue dress to match her engagement ring?

Katekatekatelovekateobsessedwithkate LOOK AT HER. She is perfect.

I got like this over Diana, by the way, but to tell you the truth, I think she is lovelier than Diana, even. Oh, she is perfect. And I like William a lot. He seems like a real person and not all stuffy.

And did you SEE Camilla saying how excited she was? Oh, I just wanted to shove an avocado in her face. I do not know why I picked an avocado. Just every time I see her I get violently angry. Camilla. If I were Kate, I would make a dick joke and shove food in my stepmother-in-law's face.

This is why I am not a princess.

Marvin just came in to say goodbye and read what I wrote about Kate, whom I love, and he said, "You're perfect, too."

Here is an actual unretouched photo of what I look like right this instant.

Perfect
Poor Marvin. He is only 14, what do you want from him?

83 thoughts on “Princess June and Birthday Boy Marvin”

  1. I am having a major girl crush on Kate. PERFECTION. I’d like an 11×14 of Marvin’s school picture. Why, I’m not sure, but I can promise you it would bring me joy.

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  2. Damn, I miss one day due to crappy work and I almost missed Muffin’s birthday!!! But, there are still 10 minutes left in the day (east coast) so all’s not totally lost yet. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARVIN!!
    And also too, Marvin, you look trim in that kitchen photo. Mrrrowwwww!
    Dying over Kate. *sigh* To be 28 again.

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  3. Happy Birthday to Marvin, he looks way young. Hate him!!!
    I don’t hate Charles and Camilla. Would everyone be as supportive if a man dumped a homely woman for a beautiful one? Would we be saying “oh, no wonder he dumped her, look at how beautiful the new girl is?” No, we would not. Looks are only the superficial aspect of a real relationship. The blame for the Charles and Diana mess falls on the monarchy, on Charles, and on Diana and her family. They were not a good match from the get go. She was a silly, shallow schoolgirl who had little in common with him. She matured into a lovely and polished woman but they were still not a good match then.
    Just my 2 pence worth.

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  4. Happy Birthday Marvin…is it really your birthday or another Facebook birthday? I saw an episode of Ghost Whisperer that had a guy on who could’ve been Marvin’s twin.
    Oh…you are killing me with your funnyness! I love that you put those pictures of yourself on here.
    I think Kate has much class…Diana did too but she wasn’t prepared for the whole fame thing. Kate seems to be handling that very well…or it’s also her generation…they seem to have lotsmore self-confidence than people did back in the 80’s. And do you like how I say Kate like she’s my BFF?!!
    Prince William does seem very real. Prince Harry looks like he’s more fun though. I guess he can afford to be, the monarchy is not riding on his shoulders. (is that the right use of the word?! Or even the right spelling?) It’s been a long day so I’m not sure of much at this point.

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  5. Happy birthday Marvin! You are so much better looking than that nasty old Camilla!
    And I used to think Wills was adorable. But then I heard him talk and thought his stock went down tremendously. Why don’t they move their teeth when they talk? Is it because they’re all dentally challenged?

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  6. Happy birthday Marvin. I hope you’re living the adolescent, 14-year-old’s dream right now.

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  7. Happy Birthday, Marvin. June should have told us you were a Scorpio. That explains a lot…

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  8. Sadie who wonders whose commemorative mugs will sell quicker. Or, June, you could use the throne picture from yesterday. says:

    Mrs. Oh, if you’re experimenting, I like the Savannah picture of Marvin after he tried June’s coffee. That was quite a face.

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  9. Sadie who wonders whose commemorative mugs will sell quicker. Or, June, you could use the throne picture from yesterday. says:

    Mrs. Oh, if you’re experimenting, I like the Savannah picture of Marvin after he tried June’s coffee. That was quite a face.

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  10. Sadie who wonders whose commemorative mugs will sell quicker. Or, June, you could use the throne picture from yesterday. says:

    Mrs. Oh, if you’re experimenting, I like the Savannah picture of Marvin after he tried June’s coffee. That was quite a face.

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  11. June, somewhat geographically challenged by all the festivities….? and yes it is closer than NC

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  12. June, somewhat geographically challenged by all the festivities….? and yes it is closer than NC

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  13. June, somewhat geographically challenged by all the festivities….? and yes it is closer than NC

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  14. Ok, a nap and my mood is definitely better, though still a touch cranky. Hubby came up with some excuses to leave the house. Good idea. As for the royal engagement, I do love that ring. Loved it the first time too. And just think…the royals are going green and recycling! But don’t think Kate’s dress was recycled. Yes, I agree, she is stunning, but I can’t get all so excited this time. It got so bad between Charles and Di but I honestly hope that this will be much better. Nithya, you could have a packed house! One huge slumber party!

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  15. Ok, a nap and my mood is definitely better, though still a touch cranky. Hubby came up with some excuses to leave the house. Good idea. As for the royal engagement, I do love that ring. Loved it the first time too. And just think…the royals are going green and recycling! But don’t think Kate’s dress was recycled. Yes, I agree, she is stunning, but I can’t get all so excited this time. It got so bad between Charles and Di but I honestly hope that this will be much better. Nithya, you could have a packed house! One huge slumber party!

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  16. Ok, a nap and my mood is definitely better, though still a touch cranky. Hubby came up with some excuses to leave the house. Good idea. As for the royal engagement, I do love that ring. Loved it the first time too. And just think…the royals are going green and recycling! But don’t think Kate’s dress was recycled. Yes, I agree, she is stunning, but I can’t get all so excited this time. It got so bad between Charles and Di but I honestly hope that this will be much better. Nithya, you could have a packed house! One huge slumber party!

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  17. Me, I’m still trying to recover from the crushing news that your furkids don’t have birthdays. Man, that is JUST SO WRONG! Simone would sink into the slough of despond without her birthday parties, complete with tiara.

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  18. Sadie who wonders whose commemorative mugs will sell quicker. Or, June, you could use the throne picture from yesterday. says:

    Oh, and I think a framed set of Marvin’s school picture and June’s “you’re perfect, too” picture will make lovely Christmas presents. They will rival William and Kate.

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  19. Sadie who wonders whose commemorative mugs will sell quicker. Or, June, you could use the throne picture from yesterday. says:

    Oh, and I think a framed set of Marvin’s school picture and June’s “you’re perfect, too” picture will make lovely Christmas presents. They will rival William and Kate.

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  20. Sadie who wonders whose commemorative mugs will sell quicker. Or, June, you could use the throne picture from yesterday. says:

    Oh, and I think a framed set of Marvin’s school picture and June’s “you’re perfect, too” picture will make lovely Christmas presents. They will rival William and Kate.

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  21. Happy Birthday, Marvin Gardens. That was such a lovely compliment you gave June this morning. Most 14 year olds wouldn’t think of saying anything as nice.
    Isn’t it weird teaching 5th graders at such a young age? I thought you would have to be at least 16. Who’s teaching whom?
    Sorry we all missed your Bar Mitzvah.

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  22. Hulk, was there more to your signature that cut off? I was so interested in your rant. And if it makes you feel any better, I have no idea who any of these royal people are. I know this guy is Diana’s son, and…that’s about it.

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  23. I just have to say, “you know who I am”, that a) I do NOT know who you are, but (b) I LOVED this that you wrote:
    “All Hail…speaking of…Edsel, so achtung with the ears!” heart you!
    June…have you tried dropping Ed from the roof? I believe he could fly with those ears. A dor a bull!

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  24. On a personal note (well, not so personal) my friend Neil actually sat by Wills and Kate on a flight (well, as close as you can get with all their security). He said they were adorable – joking around and laughing the whole time. He also said that Kate is absolutely stunning.
    Happy birthday, Muffin.

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  25. Kelly, you better be wearing some armor…on this site, to put Di down is like asking for a death threat.

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  26. Happy Birthday, Marvin!!
    Love the Royals, too. Played with Princess Di paper dolls when I was growing up. Her wedding dress was my favorite, of course. She had a lot of really awesome outfits!
    The news broke about Princess Di’s accident that caused her death during the airing of Saturday Night Live. I did not think it was funny (thinking it was a very bad-taste sketch), so I was even more shocked to let it sink in that it was really happening. 😦
    So happy there is this joyous occasion to look forward to! Love Kate and William!
    Also, stretching out personal connections with the royals to the nth degree, we like telling people how our corgi is the the Queen’s favorite (favourite?) breed!

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  27. I am getting genuinely excited about this imaginary sleepover. I’m this close to being all “hey Matt, if you continue refusing to get excited about £28,000 rings and commemerative mugs you do NOT get to complain when the house becomes full of American internet friends.”
    Seriously, neither Matt (boy) or my super-girly housemate (Irish!) gives a damn.
    I cannot cannot cannot wait to see her dress. She’s so classy!

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  28. Aw, Marvin looks so cute in his middle school picture!
    Ok, I know I’m going to be unpopular but I kinda like Camilla. I get why Charles preferred her to Diana who was too needy, too high maintenance, too high drama, too vengeful, too manipulative, too unstable. There. I said it.
    Ok, Royal Name Dropping time: Back in the 80s, when the Queen and Prince Philip paid a visit to LA, my dad was actually presented to them. That’s right, the Queen shook his hand and said, “Howdja do?”

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  29. Happy Birthday to Marvin! That “you’re perfect” line redeemed you from the “he needed killing” column. Good job there! You should totally make a move tonight.
    I am so over the moon about the royal wedding. And I totally agree with Jan and Paula H&B about that horse-faced Camilla and Chuck.
    Also, I love SueWis idea of getting the school pictures frame and start putting Marvin’s school pics in there. Very original!
    Tomorrow do we get to see what Marvin’s presents were?

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  30. 1. Happy B-day, Marvin Gardens!
    2. Kate who?
    3. Camilla who?
    4. Charles, yawn.
    5. Wills, shrug.
    6. Guess who just finished a colonoscopy and don’t give a rat’s a@@.

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  31. “… and maybe June-bug will blow your birthday candle.”
    Cracking. Up.

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  32. Wow Marv, have a happy day and maybe June-bug will blow your birthday candle.
    I wonder about Camilla and Chuck and bangers and mash.

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  33. Wow Marv, have a happy day and maybe June-bug will blow your birthday candle.
    I wonder about Camilla and Chuck and bangers and mash.

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  34. Wow Marv, have a happy day and maybe June-bug will blow your birthday candle.
    I wonder about Camilla and Chuck and bangers and mash.

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  35. Camilla looks like a horse. Really. Maybe that’s why you want to shove avocados. I think horses like apples better though.
    I think “women of a certain age” (I’m in) love this stuff and have been in love with Diana ever since the beginning.
    Happy Birthday to Marvin. Who is deserving an an “extra special” very happy birthday by saying you’re perfect, if you get my drift.
    I laughed so much through this randomness that I think I peed a little. (Again, women of a certain age.)

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  36. I worry that lovely Kate is anorexic just like her dead future mother-in-law.
    Loved the pic of June. I want a wallet size please.

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  37. Yes, yes , June’s halo IS showing in that picture. I guess because Marvin told you that you were perfect you just started glowing.
    Happy Birthday smooth Marvin .
    Cake later?

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  38. Happy Birthday to Marvelous Marvin!
    Could Edsel possibly be any cuter? Lookit that mug!
    And YEEEHHAAWWWW!! That Kate is so gorgeous and they look like a very happy couple, indeedy!
    Camilla is uglier than ug. I will never understand what Prince Charles was doing with THAT when he was lucky enough to marry Diana. Oy.
    And, yes, Junie-pie! You ARE perfect! How sweet is Marvin to say that?!!

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  39. AM DYING over that last photograph and the paragraph preceding it.
    Marvin is a sweetie – he’s planning to make his move later though. I am sure he thinks he is getting birthday action. AMIRITE?
    LOVE THIS ROYAL WEDDING BUSINESS. I want to be Kate. So. Bad.

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  40. Just look at that waist! And I don’t even think it’s Spanxed! Well at least not industrial strength Spanx, anyway.
    Happy Birthday, Marvin! Nice pic! (You should get one of those frames for displaying school photos and see how he changes through the years.)
    You do look princessly in that pic, June, you have some sort of hair glow thing emanating from your head. Beautiful.
    Camilla. Ug. Don’t even get me started on her.

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  41. Camilla ~ HATE! I just can’t wrap my head around what men are thinking when they give up someone beautiful for a bag of horse shit.
    William & Kate ~ L.O.V.E.!!!!! Don’t they both look like they just tear it up in the sack?
    Happy 14th Birthday, Muffin!!

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  42. I hear that, it takes two to ruin a marriage and Charles is not without guilt. But whatevs, I’m over it now. I think.
    Happy birthday, Marvin!!
    It was very sweet what he said about you being prefect. And in the morning, too! He’s a keeper.

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  43. Happy Birthday to Marvin! How sweet to tell you you are perfect.
    I must agree that I am not a fan of Camilla’s! I refer to her as Horse Face Camilla, married to the Toad Prince. Or should that be Turd Prince?
    Kate is beautiful. I think she will handle being royal better than Diana. She is ten years older than Diana and has more maturity.

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  44. Hulk (Who will see her at Hulkette's parent/teacher conference and will wish her a Happy Birthday, but will not get her a card. Although I get her a Christmas present EVERY YEAR for Hulkette to give her, even though I will get SHUT OUT on both. You can says:

    ~Why do you all hate Camilla and not Charles?
    ~God, are we gonna have stupid plates marking THIS ridiculous wedding now?? Like my grandma used to display? Right now I’m drinking a steaming hot cup of WHO CARES???
    ~Isn’t it weird? You and I have a birthday that is only 2 days apart, and marv’s birthday is the same day as The Ex’s birthday…

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  45. Hulk (Who will see her at Hulkette's parent/teacher conference and will wish her a Happy Birthday, but will not get her a card. Although I get her a Christmas present EVERY YEAR for Hulkette to give her, even though I will get SHUT OUT on both. You can says:

    ~Why do you all hate Camilla and not Charles?
    ~God, are we gonna have stupid plates marking THIS ridiculous wedding now?? Like my grandma used to display? Right now I’m drinking a steaming hot cup of WHO CARES???
    ~Isn’t it weird? You and I have a birthday that is only 2 days apart, and marv’s birthday is the same day as The Ex’s birthday…

    Like

  46. Hulk (Who will see her at Hulkette's parent/teacher conference and will wish her a Happy Birthday, but will not get her a card. Although I get her a Christmas present EVERY YEAR for Hulkette to give her, even though I will get SHUT OUT on both. You can says:

    ~Why do you all hate Camilla and not Charles?
    ~God, are we gonna have stupid plates marking THIS ridiculous wedding now?? Like my grandma used to display? Right now I’m drinking a steaming hot cup of WHO CARES???
    ~Isn’t it weird? You and I have a birthday that is only 2 days apart, and marv’s birthday is the same day as The Ex’s birthday…

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  47. Awwwww! Sweet Marvin! Hippo birdies two ewes, Sweet Marvin!
    Also hearting Kate & William. And that dress. Reeeeeeally love that dress. While explaining the royal engagement to my daughter, I realized that she will be the exact same age for this wedding that I was for Charles and Diana’s. Cool. We’re totally getting up early to watch it.

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  48. Happy Birthday, Marv the Man!
    And how very sweet that man of yours is, Juney. Better remember that line for later when Marvin makes his birthday move.
    Finally, we’re getting some beauty back in the royal house. It’s about time! That blue dress is just stunning. She is the epitome of princess.
    And even though Wills is losing his hair, I thought he came off so polished and elegant in the interview. I know his Mum must be so proud.
    After all these years of Charles and Camilla, I’m still cocking my head in disbelief–like my dogs do, when they can’t fathom what I’m saying to them. He cheated on Diana for that bag of ugly frump? AND, he wanted to be a tampon, so he could be inside of her all the time! Talk about toxic shock.
    I just don’t get it. And if a dude said that to me, I’d be rethinking our relationship. Just a little gross for me.

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  49. Jan. Dying.
    I am obsessed with the wedding too. And Kate is perfection. I love her hair; it is gorgeous. I have no use for Camilla or Charles. Their selfishness destroyed lives. I think the Queen should banish their dentally-challenged selves to some remote, fusty old stone structure and let them live out their ugly lives far away from civilization.
    Kate should lean back whenever Camilla talks and make faces like Chevy Chase used to do on SNL.

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  50. Jan. Dying.
    I am obsessed with the wedding too. And Kate is perfection. I love her hair; it is gorgeous. I have no use for Camilla or Charles. Their selfishness destroyed lives. I think the Queen should banish their dentally-challenged selves to some remote, fusty old stone structure and let them live out their ugly lives far away from civilization.
    Kate should lean back whenever Camilla talks and make faces like Chevy Chase used to do on SNL.

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  51. Jan. Dying.
    I am obsessed with the wedding too. And Kate is perfection. I love her hair; it is gorgeous. I have no use for Camilla or Charles. Their selfishness destroyed lives. I think the Queen should banish their dentally-challenged selves to some remote, fusty old stone structure and let them live out their ugly lives far away from civilization.
    Kate should lean back whenever Camilla talks and make faces like Chevy Chase used to do on SNL.

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  52. Sign me up for one of those wallet size pictures! Happy birthday to Marvin from someone who has been proud to know him since birth.

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  53. I second everything Jan said. As for teeth, look how perfect Kate’s are!!!! Yeaaa!!! Perhaps younger Brits are finally fixing their teeth?? As long as they don’t go as far as Hollywood has gone and replace their teeth with chicklets. :o)
    I think Kate is just perfect for him … and yes, she looked gorgeous at their engagement photo-op!! Of course, I’ve yet to see a bad pic of her.
    Happy birthday, Marvin! We think June is perfect too.

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  54. Happy Birthday, Marvin!
    That’s one sweet man you have there, June. You do look perfect. I wish I looked like that in the morning. My husband has compared my morning look to Nick Nolte’s mug shot. My husband is not sweet and now he knows better than to repeat that remark.
    Have I mentioned that I love Edsel and his ears?

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  55. Oh the brits are famous for their teeth. Messed up teeth. Bar Mitzvah was last year I think. 13. We missed it.
    June is that your halo showing in the picture?
    I also meant to mention that Muffin’s comment was so endearing.

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  56. Happy Birthday Marvin! Can’t wait until you are out of your teens and we can party like it’s 1999.
    June. OHEMMMGEEE! A royal wedding! I so wished I still lived in England because then I could be there…like, not there there, but there! Love her. Love him. Can’t wait for him to become King! All Hail…speaking of…Edsel so achtung with the ears!
    I want to have a party at my house on the wedding day. Or you have a party at your house and all of us fans will show up. Either way it’s SO A DATE!
    completely over the moon.

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  57. Happy, Happy Birthday, Marvin! Are we all invited to the bar mitzvah next year? Wait is that 15 or 12? I may be confused. Are you having a bar mitzvah or quinceanera next year for your 15th birthday?
    I love, love, love the Royals. I will be staying up to watch the wedding. I also love Wills, although, between you and me, I don’t think he’s aging that well. He’s looking a little more Charles and a little less Diana.
    I hate Camilla and if I had the chance I would just hit her. Right in the face. Right in her horrid teeth. You’ve been boinking Prince Charles for 99 years, he couldn’t float some money over there to get your teeth fixed? Really? HATE. If they show her homely ass at the wedding, I may go one a violent rampage. HE’S NOT YOUR SON, CAMILLA!!!!! HE’S THE SON OF THE WOMAN WHOM YOU DISRESPECTED AND WERE LECHEROUS TO AND SHE WAS ADORED. YOU. ARE. NOT.
    Ahem. Excuse me. I think it was sweet that Marvin told you you were perfect. Unless he was being sarcastic. I would like a wallet picture of Marvin. I will tell everyone he is my nephew.

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