You know the part where I have a puppy?
Anyway, I have a puppy with an underbite, which I have been asking for for so very long, and all of a sudden I have one. Not an underbite. A pup. Did you wonder why?
No! Marvin and I compromised. I got to have a puppy, such as Edsel, if he could have a ridiculous old car. Today was the day Marvin got his car.
Faithful Reader and Friend in Real Life Laurie and I were at the movies, and we were yak yak yaking at the same time, until we pulled into my driveway just now and we both stopped everything and just said, "Ohhhh!"
I had no idea Marvin's ridiculous car would be pink! I actually LIKE the car! Who knew? And he likes Edsel. The whole thing was a win/win.
I wonder if Marvin would let me drive the pink car. You know, like as my permanent car. Because I think a pink car suits me. I could be like Malibu Barbie, except I'd be Greensboro Middle-Aged Barbie. There's an undepressing-sounding doll. Merry Christmas, honey! Mom got you Greensboro Middle-Aged Barbie! I even got you the little Ex-Lax box for when she's stopped up!
In other news, I had to exchange my cool boyfriend-style cordoroys that I bought at Banana Republic for…the next larger size today. Pretty much these are boyfriend cords if my boyfriend is John Candy.
Did someone say candy?
At any rate, I went to this sprawling outdoor mall near my house, where I-ate-too-many-Banana-muffins Republic is located, thinking I'd just pop in there really quickly before Faithful Reader and Friend in Real Life Laurie came over for our movie.
There were people DIRECTING TRAFFIC there. People were beating each other over the head for parking spots. Merchandise was flying out the window, folks were screaming, it was kind of like the scene in Do the Right Thing after Mookie throws the trash can through the window.
The good news is my new Junior Sample-sized boyfriend-who-looks-like-Amber's-boyfriend-on-Teen-Moms cords were ON SALE, so I got half off the price. Which is excellent considering I bought eight yards more material.
Did someone say sample? Are there Hickory Farms samples somewhere?
Anyway, that is all I have to tell you. Mrs. Oh is comment of the week, and I know she just won two weeks ago, but come on. She made up an anal bleaching song to Send in the Clowns. How can she NOT win.
Did someone say clowns? Is there ice cream cake?