What, me worry?

Henrynotworry
Winnienotworry
Some of us are less worried than others of us about my stupid mammogram.

I think we should all be more worried about why Winston is wearing shoes.

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

63 thoughts on “What, me worry?”

  1. I understand completely. I was called back for an additional look the same year. It was soooo stressful. And yes they squeezed my boob flat as a pancake. And it hurt. Last year I had the girls checked out right before Christmas and everything was fine. This year I’m waiting until January in order to get through the holidays without THAT stress. I’ll be thinking about you.

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  2. Sending positive thoughts that your hoo-ha’s are perfectly perky and fine. I’m sure everything will be fine and NO CALL BACKS!

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  3. Sending well wishes as well. I won’t wish for perky – at our age I know better…. 😉
    And PETA would have a field day with Winston wearing a leopard print shoe!

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  4. Ugh. Junie, I feel your pain. I was finally released a couple of months ago. Six months after surgery for skin cancer, I had an issue with leaking clear fluid (!). I know. Ick. When I went to the doc, he was all, “Oh, if it were green or bloody, we wouldn’t be at all concerned but CLEAR! Yikes!” Surgery and two weeks of pooping myself later until the pathology came back, I am fine. 2008 was a crappy year.
    Don’t die or anything.

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  5. Aw, seeing those cutie-patooties makes me smile. And, no, I’m not talking about June’s boobies. Those kitties are too cute. I so wished I worked someplace where they allowed pets to come in with their owners. I *might* be a nicer person at work.
    Jan – I thought a “hoo-ha” was a different part of the female body. I’m way confused now.
    June – Good luck? What does one say in preparation for a boobie squeezing? Hallmark, what say you?

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  6. Carla~ I have about 3,345 different names for my boobs. Hoo-ha’s is one. I call the other place a different 3,345 names. Topping the list is Lady Land and puggy (sounds like poo-gey).
    Like anyone really needed to know all that.

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  7. Win is so worried he is trying to stick his head up his butt.
    Hope your day is uneventful. Just imagine you are being aggressively felt up by Jon Hamm.

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  8. I am finished. I asked when they would call if there were trouble and she kept saying they WILL call next Monday. Not if there is trouble they would call you Monday. No. THEY WILL CALL YOU MONDAY. She might as well have been wearing a hood and a sickle.

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  9. Take a cue from your kitties and don’t worry about it until there’s something to worry about. Which there won’t be.

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  10. When I went for my mammogram this year, I got to go to the new fancy women’s clinic. It’s all spa like and you get your own private room and it’s like your going in for a massage. But then! At the end! They gave me a card with a 800 number to call for results. Within 24 hours. If the results are bad it will instruct you to call your doctor IMMEDIATELY. I think that might not be good. I would FREAK out and all the calming, relaxing atmosphere they had attained in the clinic would be for nothing.

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  11. The waiting’s going to be crap, hope you throw yourself into alto the stuff you Americans are up to right now and don’t let it wreck your time.
    Easier said than done, I know.

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  12. Making you wait all weekend is just the pits. Here is wishing you a happy outcome.
    The time to worry is if they had called you back like they did my wife last year.
    They called her back for a retest, which wasn’t unusual, but then, before she left, they took her into “The Room” with the sofa and muted lighting and asked her for my work number. Not good.
    She’s fine now, but if it were truly serious, you would know, but they can’t tell you that.

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  13. Well my mistake was making my appt for this afternoon so I could stress and dwell and fret all day. Now there might be A ROOM???

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  14. Well my mistake was making my appt for this afternoon so I could stress and dwell and fret all day. Now there might be A ROOM???

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  15. Well my mistake was making my appt for this afternoon so I could stress and dwell and fret all day. Now there might be A ROOM???

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  16. I know, right, HB? I did comfort myself with the part where they let me leave. When my OTHER friend Paula had the breast cancer, they came in and told her not to even get dressed after her mammogram. Trust me, I was waiting for THAT knock as I dressed. Oh, mammograms are terrifying.

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  17. I hate when I miss the weekend posts.
    I love Marvin’s new pink car. Good choice.
    And everything will be fine about the mammogram. Some people don’t realize that giving out medical advise, especially when you already have a follow up appointment, totally sucks.

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  18. Who has checked her home voicemail 769 times today? Even though I told them to call my cell? Even thought they are not gonna even LOOK at my images till Friday? Who is a big nut?

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  19. I don’t blame you, Junie-pie…I’d be checking messages all day and night!
    I just went shopping for Thanksgiving. We are hosting 20 for dinner and then another 5 are coming for dessert. I spent $300 and that doesn’t even include the TURKEY! Oy vay.
    Of course, I spent $30 on an amaryllis and some flowers to put around the house and on the holiday table, but STILL!
    I thought perhaps my complaining might take your mind of your booby results. After all, it’s all about me, right?
    Wishing you good, calm, unlumpy thoughts again…

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  20. Ugh. That is why I make Terra go with me to the booby doc. I would freak out if they took me to another room for some news. But I go to a fancy cancer specialist for my schmushings. He reads it right after it’s done. I have to wait about ten minutes to know. But hey, having cancer specialist is not on your list of things to do.
    Have you reconsidered drinking? Bourbon’s really helpful.

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  21. I think it’s so sweet that Dawn’s DAD is even wishing you good luck!
    I’m with the other person that asked why you schedule this for Thanksgiving week??
    P.S. Good luck!
    Sylvia

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  22. Sending prayers up for you, June. The big guy and I are on a first name basis.
    I haven’t had my first mammogram yet. After some health issues this year that are still ongoing which have resulted in having a catheter for 9 weeks, I was supposed to have my mammogram…at the spa like place sissy Jan is talking about. I cancelled. The way my luck was going, I decided to wait till all this other stuff was resolved. I am scared to death to have my girls squished. They are sort of buxom so it will take a lot to flatten them. It’ll look like extra waffle mix oozing out of the waffle iron. Ewww.
    Just had my 5th and (hopefully) final surgery Thursday so when I am done recovering I will get ’em squished. The last 3 months have been a hypochondriacs worst nightmare.

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  23. I am back from my appt with the breast surgeon, from being mammogrammed and sonogrammed and told to expect to be biopsied. I was squished and resquished and pulled like boobal taffy and then rolled back up with the key from a can of ham. Sent to get sonogrammed with icy cold goo. Everyone consulted in whispers. I think even the UPS guy had a gander/opinion. Surgeon and her Plus One came back, both examined me. Told me to get dressed. Another huddle. Need another sonogram, sorry, get undressed again. Icier goo.
    After TWO hours of this? The suspicious mass is a fatty globule. Finally, fat is my friend.
    Wishing you all fatty globules.

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  24. I am back from my appt with the breast surgeon, from being mammogrammed and sonogrammed and told to expect to be biopsied. I was squished and resquished and pulled like boobal taffy and then rolled back up with the key from a can of ham. Sent to get sonogrammed with icy cold goo. Everyone consulted in whispers. I think even the UPS guy had a gander/opinion. Surgeon and her Plus One came back, both examined me. Told me to get dressed. Another huddle. Need another sonogram, sorry, get undressed again. Icier goo.
    After TWO hours of this? The suspicious mass is a fatty globule. Finally, fat is my friend.
    Wishing you all fatty globules.

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  25. I am back from my appt with the breast surgeon, from being mammogrammed and sonogrammed and told to expect to be biopsied. I was squished and resquished and pulled like boobal taffy and then rolled back up with the key from a can of ham. Sent to get sonogrammed with icy cold goo. Everyone consulted in whispers. I think even the UPS guy had a gander/opinion. Surgeon and her Plus One came back, both examined me. Told me to get dressed. Another huddle. Need another sonogram, sorry, get undressed again. Icier goo.
    After TWO hours of this? The suspicious mass is a fatty globule. Finally, fat is my friend.
    Wishing you all fatty globules.

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  26. Sadie who hopes all the news is good news. When someone says, "Your boobs look smashing!", take it as a compliment. Maybe they don't mean the girls look like horizontal pancakes. says:

    Paula, after your incredible description of your experience (boobal taffy and rolled back up the the key from a can of ham), I’m sure Lee and Duffylou CAN’T WAIT to have their mammograms!
    Glad I’ve been through several boob smashings or this would have made me really worry.

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  27. Sadie who hopes all the news is good news. When someone says, "Your boobs look smashing!", take it as a compliment. Maybe they don't mean the girls look like horizontal pancakes. says:

    Paula, after your incredible description of your experience (boobal taffy and rolled back up the the key from a can of ham), I’m sure Lee and Duffylou CAN’T WAIT to have their mammograms!
    Glad I’ve been through several boob smashings or this would have made me really worry.

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  28. Sadie who hopes all the news is good news. When someone says, "Your boobs look smashing!", take it as a compliment. Maybe they don't mean the girls look like horizontal pancakes. says:

    Paula, after your incredible description of your experience (boobal taffy and rolled back up the the key from a can of ham), I’m sure Lee and Duffylou CAN’T WAIT to have their mammograms!
    Glad I’ve been through several boob smashings or this would have made me really worry.

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  29. Sadie who hopes all the news is good news. When someone says, "Your boobs look smashing!", take it as a compliment. Maybe they don't mean the girls look like horizontal pancakes. says:

    I meant “with the key” not “the the key”.
    Maybe I need new glasses.

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  30. Sadie who hopes all the news is good news. When someone says, "Your boobs look smashing!", take it as a compliment. Maybe they don't mean the girls look like horizontal pancakes. says:

    I meant “with the key” not “the the key”.
    Maybe I need new glasses.

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  31. Sadie who hopes all the news is good news. When someone says, "Your boobs look smashing!", take it as a compliment. Maybe they don't mean the girls look like horizontal pancakes. says:

    I meant “with the key” not “the the key”.
    Maybe I need new glasses.

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  32. Goodness, I have gotten to hear about everyones parts today. I am so glad you are full of fat, Paula, and did not get taken into THE ROOM. And Lee, what the Sam Hill is going on with you? You okay now?

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  33. Good luck to all the boob smashing gals. Holy carp…if they want us to get this done..don’t you think they could come up with an easier dang way?

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  34. I have to thank you oh so very much for turning me on to Allie Brosh at Hyperbole. I literally spent several hours (okay more than several) reading her entire blog this weekend. Dammit she is clever and awesomness personified. And we don’t need to feel guilty about Miss Doxie – they are brilliant, perfect, and clever in different ways, and each deserves the spotlight.
    Thanks again, Junie!!!

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  35. Lee! Nine weeks with a catheter? My gawd… You are a trooper! I hope that’s all behind you soon.
    As much as I hate the bubbie wringer, facing the cold duck bill for the schmear is worse by the power of ten. These are the times when being a female is a pain in the, well, various girl parts!
    Hope Marvin remembers to come in from the garage, June!

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  36. Poor June. Do your ladies have names? If not, perhaps you could spend the week obsessing about the perfect names for them. Mine are Lola and Rita. Lola is a climber. Sister friend refuses to be contained and will try to maneuver her way out of any fabric that tries to hold her back. Rita also enjoys climbing, but is not nearly as agressive as her sister. See? That was totally distracting, no? So now you can think about your ladies’ individual personalities.
    Also, I second Furry’s suggestion of bourbon. My bourbon slush recipe is the only thing that gets me and my family through Thanksgiving and Christmas without major meltdowns. It is just enough alcohol to take the edge off and make the world feel warm and fuzzy, but not enough to get anyone truly drunk. It is basically holiday perfection.

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  37. OK – I hate bourbon but a bourbon slush actually sounds good so put that recipe here!
    Also and too, my mammo smashie place got these pads made out of the stuff the tempur pedic beds are made of and since they started putting them on the bottom part of the digital mammo machine – no more pain! Evidently they cost about $5. per use and can only be used once (and are recycled into carpet pads!) so most places don’t use them. Amazing this one does as our hospital is usually the cheapo depot.
    Hope they decide to call you early with the best possible news!

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  38. There is an easier way…I heard about this doc going around to bars and checking your boobs for ya…

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  39. Oh, I was gonna mention On-ree’s Peter Max bed ensemble.
    My easier way….don’t go. Heck we are all gonna die from something anyway.
    I don’t recommend nor ednorse that…it’s just what I do.
    Can you imagine if a man had to have HIS parts smashed like that…
    Why don’t they make one that can ‘see’ from the sides and the top and bottom…..no need to smash the precious cargo…just make a cube out of them.

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  40. I am so glad someone noticed the Peter Max. I have had that towel since I was a kid. Marvin uses it to keep the dust out of whatever boring piece of musical equipment that is, but as you can see, it is now probably full of cat fur anyway.

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  41. I had a Peter Max umbrella as a child. It is art you never really forget.

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  42. Oh dear. That was terribly rude of me. I blame the lack of sleep. I will post the recipe as soon as I get home to look it up!

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