Pieces of–oh, screw it

I interrupt this important what-flavor-ice-cream would you be Pieces of Wisdom for an important announcement.

I got laid off.


About 30 of us did, from what I understand. We lost a big client at work–at EX-work–and when they told us a few weeks ago, I thought, Oh, some people might get laid off.

Some people. That's what I thought.

Then yesterday morning my favorite coworker, the young guy who'd invited me to his party that ended at 6 a.m., came to my desk. "Say goodbye to me, June. I just got laid off."

I thought he was kidding. He was not.

One by one, I watched people go, with their boxes. People were crying, and looking ill. It was awful.

Then my phone rang.

Did I mention crap?

They told me they'd hire me right back as soon as they could, and that I could freelance for them the minute my severance ran out.

By the way, that says "dogs" have been fed. Not Dobs. It takes years to understand Marvin.

At any rate, that is the story. I am unemployed. Merry Christmas! Do you think I'm getting that pink diamond for sure now?

I applied for unemployment and even for a job yesterday. Today I will let my former freelance clients know I am back for the time being. Then I thought maybe I'd lie listlessly on the couch for the rest of the day.

Last night I went to bed at 7:00, without washing my face or taking my prescriptions or putting in my sexy nightguard or anything. Tallulah, who was glued to me from the second I got home yesterday, never budged from my side all last night. She must have had to pee like a fire truck this morning.

Not that fire trucks pee.

Here she is right now, trying to be pressed against me but having to take time out to bite Edsel. Oh, and I had to fire the Tea Partier, who really did love my dogs. I felt bad.

"wate. this not affect henry food supplye, do it?"

118 thoughts on “Pieces of–oh, screw it

  1. Out here on the farm we always say “gotta pee like a race horse.” Just so you know if you leave the city. See how helpful your readers are? So sorry bout the ex job. And the dead neighbor. And the soon to be neutral male. And apothocary. And whateva. You always cheer me up. Wish I could do the same. Really did lol on reading your Christmas card n such complaints. I feel your pain. I am way too frugal. Then I find new fancy schmancy Christmas cards I covet. Then I find last years clearance boxes put away w/decorations. sigh Need any cards? Hope your holidays are FUN!


  2. June,I am so sorry! Furry, Terra, Cosmos’ Dad and all of you looking, praying for all of you that you will soon find employment. My sweet hubby lost his job after 36 years at a public utility at age 55, he was crushed. We started our own business which would have never happened had he not been “downsized”.


  3. Carp. I’m really sorry to hear your news. The only joke I can remember (that isn’t pages long) is the frayed knot one.
    Glad to see your sense of humor hasn’t hit the chopping block. As mmy mom says, this too shall pass.


  4. Oh, and I forgot to say that I LOVE the notepad Marvin wrote on. I might have to check out lollylu just for the cuteness factor.


  5. umm, and you probably want to edit my last comment so badly b/c I know it is missing some important apostrophe in there. Ugh.


  6. Our pets love us extra special when we’re feeling a little down. Talu and Edsel will be “negotiating” to see who can lay the absolute closest to you on the couch over the next few days. In a nutshell, your humor kills me, your pets are adorable, and Marvin, well, a good egg for sure. Your life is funny, interesting, well-written and did I mention funny; I would totally shell out $30 for a hardcover. And buy several copies for friends and cool family members (only the cool ones though.)


  7. Maryanne’s comment about putting your blog into book form? YES! I would buy that book, especially with a pink sparkly cover. And you have to include the comments, too. Each blog post can be a chapter, but include the comments at the end. I really really would buy the book. It would be funny and fabulous! So, maybe think about it? Self-publish until a major publisher picks it up and publishes it for you (which they will when they see it). Think of the talk shows! I’m serious – I do think you should publish.


  8. Damn it to hell. What is in the friggin air. I’m sorry June. I just know that this is only TEMPORARY. Upside: more time to snuggle with Edsel!


  9. You can bet that your former company is frantically searching for new clients — and they WILL find them! And you’ll be one of the FIRST back in the door! I’m in your corner…..(we are almost certain that they are gonna lay off/fire/whatever my husband but the good news is that I was allowed to enroll in my insurance effective Jan 1…pricey for sure, but he has a ton of health issues so this way when/if it happens, there won’t be a minute of being uninsured….as long as they keep him until Dec. 31. ) We have a lot to be thankful for…we’ve never been laid off but have always had low paying jobs, BUT we had jobs. Prayers going out to all who are searching for jobs — it’s so tough, no way around it. Esp for those without a support system.


  10. So sorry about the layoff. Mine happened early on in my working career. I moved halfway across the state for my first “real” post-college job three months after graduation. It was great for the month it lasted, then the company went bankrupt and we were all let go. No severance, no insurance, no nothing…and there I was in a strange new city with rent to pay and groceries to buy. Horrible. Anyway, I’m sure with your talent you’ll be hired back in no time. And just think of all the perks of freelancing: setting your own hours, working in your jammies, unlimited snack breaks. Chin up!


  11. I’m so very sorry to hear about the lay off. Sucks so very much.
    But – you will be glad to know that MISS DOXIE IS BAAAACCCKKKK!!!! That should soften the blow at least a little bit.
    All my good thoughts coming your way, honey.


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