Pieces of–oh, screw it

I interrupt this important what-flavor-ice-cream would you be Pieces of Wisdom for an important announcement.

Box
I got laid off.

Crap.

About 30 of us did, from what I understand. We lost a big client at work–at EX-work–and when they told us a few weeks ago, I thought, Oh, some people might get laid off.

Some people. That's what I thought.

Then yesterday morning my favorite coworker, the young guy who'd invited me to his party that ended at 6 a.m., came to my desk. "Say goodbye to me, June. I just got laid off."

I thought he was kidding. He was not.

One by one, I watched people go, with their boxes. People were crying, and looking ill. It was awful.

Then my phone rang.

Did I mention crap?

They told me they'd hire me right back as soon as they could, and that I could freelance for them the minute my severance ran out.

Day
By the way, that says "dogs" have been fed. Not Dobs. It takes years to understand Marvin.

At any rate, that is the story. I am unemployed. Merry Christmas! Do you think I'm getting that pink diamond for sure now?

I applied for unemployment and even for a job yesterday. Today I will let my former freelance clients know I am back for the time being. Then I thought maybe I'd lie listlessly on the couch for the rest of the day.

Last night I went to bed at 7:00, without washing my face or taking my prescriptions or putting in my sexy nightguard or anything. Tallulah, who was glued to me from the second I got home yesterday, never budged from my side all last night. She must have had to pee like a fire truck this morning.

Not that fire trucks pee.

Dogsbeneathmywings
Here she is right now, trying to be pressed against me but having to take time out to bite Edsel. Oh, and I had to fire the Tea Partier, who really did love my dogs. I felt bad.

Henrycares
"wate. this not affect henry food supplye, do it?"

118 thoughts on “Pieces of–oh, screw it

  1. Yah, Jeanette, I gave up trying to figure that picture out pretty quick. Looks like a football field with the stripes and astro turf coloring….then it looks like a toilet seat on the one end of the picture. And with the stainless looking chair leg…it looks like one of those ‘helper-upper from the toilet seat’ deals. And santie clauses beard under the camera holder.
    I know…..what an imagination I have.

    Like

  2. I’m so sorry, June. My last day was November 23. Bye, Happy Thanksgiving, y’all.
    It’s gonna be fine for both of us. The universe is already taking good care of Furry and me. Friends are coming out of the woodwork to give her artwork as holiday gifts. A good friend who used to be in HR is going to repackage this old guy and make him look all new and shiny. Just gonna keep the sunny side up.

    Like

  3. Oh June that so sucks for you! Something better will come along. Hang in there and give those animals some extra lovin’. That’ll make you feel better.

    Like

  4. Put your blog into book form and sell it! Your ByeByeBuy year is a hilarious book all by itself. I am envisioning you on the Today Show hawking your book which has a pink sparkly cover.

    Like

  5. I’m so sorry, June! Their timing could not have been suckier. Although if getting laid off HAS to happen, at least you have plenty of time for holiday baking?

    Like

  6. Thanks Furry G for the help on the ads and how they work. It’s interesting that all day the ads I am getting are for Aetna health insurance and how it sucks to not have it.
    Kinda hard to have the Aetna when you don’t have a job! Ironic, wouldn’t you say?

    Like

  7. Kristi ~ Baaaaahhaaaaawaaaahhaaaaa WOOOOOO!
    June doing holiday baking. That was the funniest joke all day.
    Furry! Thank you! I hope everyone was paying attention. Everyone? Click please.
    She needs more more and MORE ads!

    Like

  8. June that sucks! I got laid off in October… via email. Yeah, classy. I didn’t go into accounting for the glamour… I chose it for the f’ing job security.

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  9. Man, that sucks. I’ve been both laid off and fired from more than a few jobs and it’s something you never get used to.
    Hey, here’s a suggestion for the next Pieces of Wisdom: What would be your dream job?
    My dream job would be to name paint colors, nail polish colors and streets.

    Like

  10. June! Come down to Charlotte and give my co-workers some lessons on PROPER GRAMMAR. We need someone like you! (Why can’t people understand the difference between “me” and “I?”)
    I’m so sorry you were laid off. Here’s to finding a flexible job worth 7+ figures as soon as possible!

    Like

  11. Terra! It’s been a while since we’ve seen you around these parts. Sending the sucky-job-loss sympathy your way too. And to the rest of you readers in the same boat. Being a grown-up stinks sometimes, doesn’t it? So much to worry about.
    I like Kelly’s idea about dream jobs for PoWW. When I was seven, my dream job was to be a florist. I thought it would be so relaxing to create different flower arrangements all day. Need to think about what it would be now.

    Like

  12. I just want to kick the crap out of your layoff. Kick it in the head. Sorry doesn’t cover it when physical violence can.
    I know how much you liked that job and hopefully it will only be a temporary lay off. It just recently happened to my mom,her company hired her back, so don’t give up hope.
    I will be praying for you and Terra and all of those who find themselves the victim of this still mucked up economy.

    Like

  13. Lee, right? I know she’s not a baking queen but with all that time on her hands maybe she’d like to learn. AND as a bonus, she would have spices other than oregano in her cabinet!

    Like

  14. Sucks, but join the club (again) we can all write about the job hunt….oh yeah and the Gov’t extra little unemployment bonus to the checks has run out…..
    I’m with The FurryG
    falafuckinglalala….

    Like

  15. Not to be a pudge but honestly what the hell? I was living vicariously through you at your new cool job thinking to myself “self someday maybe someone cool will hire you.” Now I realize there is just no hope for me. I’m going to go eat some sorbet and cry.

    Like

  16. Jessica who spent her day hearing all about how fancy people department store is the bestest fanciest place on earth says:

    Holy carp. That just sucks balls. I wish I could come up with something else to say, but I spent all day in training for my new job and my brain is fried. I will be using my degree in International Affairs with an emphasis in Public Affairs to sell fancy lady dresses at a fancy department store for fancy people. How jealous are you? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Sadly, I am excited just to have any job so I can maybe perhaps one day start eating something other than grits and ramen noodles. Being a footloose and fancy free divorcee sure is fun! Not.

    Like

  17. Being laid off SUCKS!!!!!! I’m so sorry, June. When I was let go, I felt terrible … like I did something wrong … even though I hadn’t. I hope you end up finding something great quickly!
    So, so sorry … wishing I could send you a Maple Frosted Donut from Wegmans … they are the best at cheering me up right now …

    Like

  18. Just thinking, yeah like wow my brain works, maybe next Wednesday you can poll us about how many of us are out of a job?

    Like

  19. Here’s an oldie but a goodie to cheer you up:
    A rope walks into a bar but before he can even order a beer, the bartender shouts out,”We don’t serve your kind ’round here! You’re a rope, ain’t ya?”
    The rope answered, “Nope. I’m a frayed knot.”

    Like

  20. Here’s an oldie but a goodie to cheer you up:
    A rope walks into a bar but before he can even order a beer, the bartender shouts out,”We don’t serve your kind ’round here! You’re a rope, ain’t ya?”
    The rope answered, “Nope. I’m a frayed knot.”

    Like

  21. Here’s an oldie but a goodie to cheer you up:
    A rope walks into a bar but before he can even order a beer, the bartender shouts out,”We don’t serve your kind ’round here! You’re a rope, ain’t ya?”
    The rope answered, “Nope. I’m a frayed knot.”

    Like

  22. I am so sorry. I lost my job 11/09 after 23 years. It’s an awful thing that happens to your life that you have no control over whatsoever! Hang in there.

    Like

  23. Sorry. I know the feeling, laid off in ’08. Have a job now that I hate and had to move out of state for it.
    Good luck, at least you have the freelance….
    What did the elephant say to the naked man?
    “That’s cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?”

    Like

  24. Here’s a good joke. Pardon my language:
    Guy stumbles home from the bar all drunked up with a chicken under one arm. His wife meets him at the door, arms folded, a cross look on her face.
    “Drunk again, eh??” she sneered. “And why are you carrying that?”
    “I just wanted to show you the pig I’ve been fucking on the side.” said the husband.
    “You drunk idiot, that’s a CHICKen!” yelled the wife.
    He replied, “I was TALKING to the chicken…”

    Like

  25. Honestly I am so sorry you got laid off from the job you loved so much.
    Now to cheer you up with my dumb joke.
    Why is 8 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
    Big hugs!

    Like

  26. Cosmo’s Dad, Terra, and everyone else unemployed: I will send up some prayers for all of you. When I say I’ll pray, I really do!! Being unemployed is so hard..we’ve also been through it. My husband’s bro went through it too and was out of work about as long as Cosmo’s Dad. He was CEO of a HUGE company here in Chicago and was willing to do just about anything..but found himself overqualified for just about everything.
    2011 HAS to be a better year for all of us, RIGHT?
    p.s. seriously…if you believe in the power of prayer and want some…email me. I would love to pray for you…
    m.deeter@sbcglobal.net
    Even YOU, Target Steve! 🙂

    Like

  27. Lu, stick close to Junie, k? Onree, be good to Big Hair. June, you are an inspiration to those of us who are inclined to wallow alone.
    Hope there is a little smile here for you…
    Why does the duck have flat feet?
    From stomping out forest fires.
    Why does the elephant have flat feet?
    From stomping out burning ducks!

    Like

  28. Lu, stick close to Junie, k? Onree, be good to Big Hair. June, you are an inspiration to those of us who are inclined to wallow alone.
    Hope there is a little smile here for you…
    Why does the duck have flat feet?
    From stomping out forest fires.
    Why does the elephant have flat feet?
    From stomping out burning ducks!

    Like

  29. Lu, stick close to Junie, k? Onree, be good to Big Hair. June, you are an inspiration to those of us who are inclined to wallow alone.
    Hope there is a little smile here for you…
    Why does the duck have flat feet?
    From stomping out forest fires.
    Why does the elephant have flat feet?
    From stomping out burning ducks!

    Like

  30. What a sucky way to start the holiday season. I’m so sorry. I hope you’re one of the first rehires when the next big contract rolls in. It seemed like such a good fit for you.
    And I can never remember any jokes, sorry. Except for the knock knock jokes my kids try on me, and even those escape me at the moment..

    Like

  31. I’m so very sorry to hear about the lay off. Sucks so very much.
    But – you will be glad to know that MISS DOXIE IS BAAAACCCKKKK!!!! That should soften the blow at least a little bit.
    All my good thoughts coming your way, honey.

    Like

  32. So sorry about the layoff. Mine happened early on in my working career. I moved halfway across the state for my first “real” post-college job three months after graduation. It was great for the month it lasted, then the company went bankrupt and we were all let go. No severance, no insurance, no nothing…and there I was in a strange new city with rent to pay and groceries to buy. Horrible. Anyway, I’m sure with your talent you’ll be hired back in no time. And just think of all the perks of freelancing: setting your own hours, working in your jammies, unlimited snack breaks. Chin up!

    Like

  33. You can bet that your former company is frantically searching for new clients — and they WILL find them! And you’ll be one of the FIRST back in the door! I’m in your corner…..(we are almost certain that they are gonna lay off/fire/whatever my husband but the good news is that I was allowed to enroll in my insurance effective Jan 1…pricey for sure, but he has a ton of health issues so this way when/if it happens, there won’t be a minute of being uninsured….as long as they keep him until Dec. 31. ) We have a lot to be thankful for…we’ve never been laid off but have always had low paying jobs, BUT we had jobs. Prayers going out to all who are searching for jobs — it’s so tough, no way around it. Esp for those without a support system.

    Like

  34. Damn it to hell. What is in the friggin air. I’m sorry June. I just know that this is only TEMPORARY. Upside: more time to snuggle with Edsel!

    Like

  35. Maryanne’s comment about putting your blog into book form? YES! I would buy that book, especially with a pink sparkly cover. And you have to include the comments, too. Each blog post can be a chapter, but include the comments at the end. I really really would buy the book. It would be funny and fabulous! So, maybe think about it? Self-publish until a major publisher picks it up and publishes it for you (which they will when they see it). Think of the talk shows! I’m serious – I do think you should publish.

    Like

  36. Annie, lurking daily for medicinal purposes, ie the release of endorphins from laughing and smiling at June's life says:

    Our pets love us extra special when we’re feeling a little down. Talu and Edsel will be “negotiating” to see who can lay the absolute closest to you on the couch over the next few days. In a nutshell, your humor kills me, your pets are adorable, and Marvin, well, a good egg for sure. Your life is funny, interesting, well-written and did I mention funny; I would totally shell out $30 for a hardcover. And buy several copies for friends and cool family members (only the cool ones though.)

    Like

  37. Oh, and I forgot to say that I LOVE the notepad Marvin wrote on. I might have to check out lollylu just for the cuteness factor.

    Like

  38. Carp. I’m really sorry to hear your news. The only joke I can remember (that isn’t pages long) is the frayed knot one.
    Glad to see your sense of humor hasn’t hit the chopping block. As mmy mom says, this too shall pass.

    Like

  39. June,I am so sorry! Furry, Terra, Cosmos’ Dad and all of you looking, praying for all of you that you will soon find employment. My sweet hubby lost his job after 36 years at a public utility at age 55, he was crushed. We started our own business which would have never happened had he not been “downsized”.

    Like

  40. Out here on the farm we always say “gotta pee like a race horse.” Just so you know if you leave the city. See how helpful your readers are? So sorry bout the ex job. And the dead neighbor. And the soon to be neutral male. And apothocary. And whateva. You always cheer me up. Wish I could do the same. Really did lol on reading your Christmas card n such complaints. I feel your pain. I am way too frugal. Then I find new fancy schmancy Christmas cards I covet. Then I find last years clearance boxes put away w/decorations. sigh Need any cards? Hope your holidays are FUN!

    Like

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