Pieces of wisdom: Why be normal?

Hateantlers 
Geez, NOBODY will let me put the reindeer antlers on them. What is the point of OWNING the humiliating antlers if everyone is just going to object to them? You should have seen how quickly Edsel got out of them. He was like Houdini.

Anyway. It's Tuesday, one week since I got laid off and by the way it feels like 750 years, and it's time for the pieces of the wisdom. Let's be wise, shall we?

I was reading Vanity Fair, because I love that magazine, and this month on the cover was Johnny Depp, and why doesn't he call me? I mean, I am just as cute as his girlfriend.

Gf 
IMG000270 
I slay me. I took this during one of the worst migraines of my life, so I look even sexier than normal.

The POINT of my story is that Johnny Depp, who really should call me but who is intimidated by my beauty, said something riveting. He said the people who fascinate him the most are people who seem totally normal. That totally normal people seem the weirdest of all to him.

Ohmygod, that is completely how I feel. I didn't even realize that I felt that way until he said that, but it's true.

I briefly dated this guy who wasn't that normal, but he had me come to Chicago where his family lived, and he had this big middle-class house, and really straight vanilla parents, and he shook his dad's hand and called him "sir," and all of his friends were really friendly and J.-Crew-ad-looking and heavenly days in the morning, they were all so normal. And I could not have felt more uncomfortable.

No one got drunk and cried, no one told a poop joke, no one had their credit card declined. ALL WEEKEND. It was so ODD to me. This guy's whole crowd was mature and happy and good-looking and healthy.

One of the friends said to me, "Your boyfriend is a good guy."

And I waited. And waited. For the disparaging comment. For the big joke at the end. AND THERE WAS NONE. He was being sincere. And earnest.

We broke up soon after.

So this is my pieces of wisdom question. Do you feel the way I do? I know I was just Peter Frampton there. Let me get my sound-making-talking machine. But do you feel normal, is I guess what I am asking you? Or do normal people make you feel all funny inside, like they do me?

I may be appealing to the wrong demographic, here, because if you read this blog you must not be all THAT normal. But maybe what you like about it is you are totally sitting over there in your J. Crew life and my oddness is fascinating.

Also, does anyone actually know Johnny Depp? If so, could you slide him my digits, along with the photo above? Thanks.

142 thoughts on “Pieces of wisdom: Why be normal?

  1. You Know who I Am – got another RAoK for you. The guy in front of me at the coffee stand today paid by credit card, but the stand doesn’t have a place on their cc slips for tips, and he didn’t have any money, so I tipped for both of us.

    Like

  2. I don’t know how normal I am, but this is such a timely question because JUST YESTERDAY someone commented on my blog to say, “Your blog always makes my day! Love to hear about your adventures and ridiculously normal life!” So perhaps I take normal to an entirely different level. 😉 I couldn’t tell if it was a compliment or not. I’m choosing to believe that it was. But I love so many abnormal things that I can’t believe people think I’m just a regular, normal person!

    Like

  3. Wow, Katherine, that is kind of a weird comment for someone to leave. You’re much more tolerant and diplomatic than I am. I’d be all puffed up and defensive and commenting back: “Yay! I love it when people come here every day and read about my ridiculously normal life instead of actually living one of their own!”

    Like

  4. Why are we still up? Oh, that’s right, I normally stall about going to bed. My mom wouldn’t let me get away with it so now that I’m an adult, I exercise my right to be sleep-deprived. Actually I just finished painting a Christmas present and am still high on the paint fumes (oil paints).
    Love this group. Love. Love. Love. Don’t always comment cause y’all are way more creative than I, but I gotta read June and the gang every blessed day. That is normal for me.

    Like

  5. Why are we still up? Oh, that’s right, I normally stall about going to bed. My mom wouldn’t let me get away with it so now that I’m an adult, I exercise my right to be sleep-deprived. Actually I just finished painting a Christmas present and am still high on the paint fumes (oil paints).
    Love this group. Love. Love. Love. Don’t always comment cause y’all are way more creative than I, but I gotta read June and the gang every blessed day. That is normal for me.

    Like

  6. Why are we still up? Oh, that’s right, I normally stall about going to bed. My mom wouldn’t let me get away with it so now that I’m an adult, I exercise my right to be sleep-deprived. Actually I just finished painting a Christmas present and am still high on the paint fumes (oil paints).
    Love this group. Love. Love. Love. Don’t always comment cause y’all are way more creative than I, but I gotta read June and the gang every blessed day. That is normal for me.

    Like

  7. I wrote a story in 7th grade describing my neighbors and such… it started out that they were strange but the jest of the story was that we were the weird ones. My teacher submitted for some contest – didn’t win but I was PUBLISHED in our middle school “arts” booklet!! Normal is boring.

    Like

  8. I used to think I was normal but had an epiphany a few years ago that I and all the people I work with are completely bizarre people who believe they’re totally straight and narrow. It’s the only way we can be effective at our jobs

    Like

  9. SO… VERY late to the party yesterday…
    I GOT ALL YOU BEAT!
    A few years ago, my female cousin, who is my age, called me to tell me she had been to the emergency room the night before. She had something embarrassing going on and only went after she showed her mother and her mother agreed with my cousin about was she was thinking was the problem. She arrived at the ER and announced to the young man doctor, “I think I’ve grown a testicle.”
    It was a cyst. But she (and her mother) truly believed she had grown a testicle.

    Like

  10. I agree with The Chief. Normal is in the eye of the beholder.

    Like

  11. I agree with The Chief. Normal is in the eye of the beholder.

    Like

  12. I agree with The Chief. Normal is in the eye of the beholder.

    Like

  13. DuffyLou – I guess I did a RAoK on my walk today but I kinda do this every walk – I pick up trash around our neighborhood so it looks a bit better.
    And who knew that FL was for Unwed Mothers?? Thought we were the Sunshine State.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s