Diamond June

Who can't stand herself?

I set my alarm for 8:00, because I have an appointment at the headache clinic today. You go there and they bang you over the head. BAH.

No. It is the final day of my meeting with them about the experimental migraine drug they have had me on since June. Other than the part where I grew a monkey out my arse from all the nausea it gave me, it was a fine drug.

Anyway, the alarm went off at 8:00, and who crossed the room, turned it off, went right back to bed, grabbed Tallulah and slipped of to dreamland until 10 minutes ago? I hate everything. Now I have to scream over there and I have no time to blog.

But I did want to show you what Faithful Reader and Friend in Real Life Laurie gave me last night when we had dinner with her:

Pinkdiamond
Yes, my very own pink diamond ring. I know!

Also also, I guess it is time to give those flowers from Dottie the heave-ho.

Okay, screaming off to the headache clinic.

P.S. OMG, I am SO LATE, but I forgot to tell you, I may or may not have been shopping for a Christmas gift for Marvin yesterday, and the store owner may or may not have been the best-looking British man in the world other than Barry Gibb, and he may or may not have just flown in from London the night before. Okay, will stop with the annoying "may or may not" now. Anyway, I asked if London was excited about the Royal wedding and he said:

"We give a kipper's dick about that wedding."

Kipper's dick. That is so my new phrase. And I had to act like I gave a kipper's dick about that wedding, too, when of course it had been at the tip of my tongue to ask if I could stay with his relatives when I flew over there April 29, with my jobless self. OKAY SO SO LATE GOODBYE.

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

76 thoughts on “Diamond June”

  1. I know you’re running late and all but…no picture of the good looking British dude?!!
    What exactly is a kipper? I know about the rest of it.

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  2. Ok who is this Kipper person, why are his or her genitals so unimportant that no one can be botherd….Is Kipper the Ken to Barbie’s Skipper? Is kipper just a fish and do fish have wee-wees anyhow?
    And a little late but I never read Nancy Drew but rocked out on some Laura Ingalls Wilder. The books – not the tv series. That Melissa Gilbert just annoys me in all her half-pint…quarter gallon….squirt bottom…whatever her nickname was self.

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  3. kipper:
    –noun
    1. a fish, esp. a herring, that has been cured by splitting, salting, drying, and smoking.
    2. this method of curing fish.
    3. a male salmon during or after the spawning season.

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  4. And that ring reminds me of those lollipop ones. What flavor is it?
    I love those Seinfeld references! Man hands!
    Mrs. Oh…you should totally read you some Nancy Drews. I didn’t mind Melissa Gilbert but that girl that played Mary was just too goody-goody. Yeah, I know that was her character and all but still…

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  5. PJ! In reference to your comment earlier this morning on the previous entry, which is where you had to leave it because Lazy June was too busy hitting the snooze button to post a new entry, and in which you said you might go into the garage and doze off in the car for half an hour, I just want to say — DO NOT DO THAT WHILE THE CAR IS RUNNING.
    P.S. My good deed of the day is saving your life. You’re welcome.

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  6. June, if you didn’t have a headache when you finally pulled your sleepy self out of bed, you probably had one by the time you rushed to the appointment. It must have been one heck of a good time at Laurie’s last night if you needed to sleep late.
    Siren, THANKS for saving PJ’s life.

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  7. Kipper’s dick sounds so much better than sardine’s dick.
    I guess if I was going to reference a sardine I’d have to go with ass, even though technically they don’t have one. Then again, by the time you get a kipper, they no longer have their penis either.
    I don’t give a sardine’s ass about the Royal Wedding.

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  8. I need help from you moms with young kids please. I don’t remember. What size diapers do 6 month old babies wear?
    I got an idea after reading Susan, innish’s post from today, but on yesterday’s comment section. She said Penney’s didn’t carry the thing listed on the child’s list. I went on the angel list, today’s the last day. There are three in my area that just need diapers. I have the address of the Salvation Army and if I pick the child, I’ll have their ID#. So I can go on Target’s website and buy the diapers and have them shipped using the Angel ID#. They’ll still be able to identify the child. The only item on their lists are diapers. I just want to get the right size. So if you could estimate I’d really be grateful. Thanks.

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  9. Duffylou,
    The problem with this is that diapers are sized by weight of the child, so if you are buying for a really tiny petite little one it would be totally different than for a big hoss of a child. I always go a size bigger because they will always grow into them.
    My new word I am using is piffle. Now I need to find a way to incorporate kipper’s dick with piffle.

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  10. Siren, You totally saved my life! Now I have to go save someone else’s life. You’re getting to be a lot of work, you know?
    Speaking of giving things: When you are donating to places don’t forget tampons and sanitary napkins as well as diapers. Can you imagine not being able to afford feminine sanitary products? Don’t you love that euphemism?

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  11. Oh, Tracy this was not a sucky ring. Quite the contrary. It was made of some of the finest plastic found in the land (and landfills). While most diamonds are brilliant, this pink diamond is flashy, so to speak.
    Linda in CO, I performed a very minor RAoK this morning. Yard guy was here. Why, I’m not so sure because the front yard still has a blanket of snow. He insisted blowing the leaves off the hardscapes in the front, and same on the back deck. Afterwards I gave him a to-go cup of hot chocolate and two brownies. Like me he seemed to have a sweet tooth. OK, I admit that I don’t just have a sweet tooth, I have a mouthful. He had scarfed down one of the brownies before he made it back out to his truck.
    June, where is your head, you forgot your nose.:)

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  12. And personally, I think the only appropriate way to enter a headache clinic is by screaming in.
    (seriously, June, ((is that allowed here?)) I am sorry you have migraines. I am sorry anybody has that malady of the devil.)

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  13. Yea, yea, I’ve heard this before. They’ll SAY they don’t give a Kipper’s dick but you just wait and see who’s actually glued to the TV set on the big day. Don’t believe it.

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  14. Kipper’s Dick! Dying. Will use forever and ever and ever. Until my two year old starts running around screaming KIPPER’S DICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then my enthusiasm will fade quickly.
    Nice ring.
    Hulk made me laugh out loud and almost choke on the potatoes I was eating.
    Oh? And Kim? Several times recently I have left my quarter in the Aldi cart, on purpose, so the person who gets that cart doesn’t have to use their quarter. Small, but still a RAoK.

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  15. My eyes are blinded by the glare of your glorious rock! And shouldn’t it be we don’t give a kipper’s ass?
    Sadie, Are you there?? I just got finished shopping for your angel at JCP. Gosh that was time consuming. Which in itself should be a RAoK. I finally get to the end and something won’t ship until the 30th? No that won’t do. Ack, but I got it done and your little girl angel is getting a vanity set because what 5 yr old doesn’t need to be vain? Also too, can I just add that there is a lot of trashy looking girl clothes out there and I wasn’t about to have Sadie’s angel looking like someone tiny tot from Jersey Shore.

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  16. Fay, yesterday I did the Angel tree from JCP. I really wish I would have thought about checking out Target or Walmart or someplace else that ships because JCP just really didn’t have a great inventory of clothes for the little angel I chose.
    It’s going to be harder to come up with RAoK over the weekend…I don’t leave my house much, but I will think of something.

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  17. Okay, I really am not dense. I know the diapers go by weight. I just don’t remember how much a baby’s weight increases, (doubles, x one and a half), by the time they reach 6 months. And I know it goes by how much the baby weighed at birth. I’ll guess.
    Please, someone help a sista out.

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  18. Hulkette weighed 7lbs 9 oz at birth, and she was about average. Figure an average baby probably weighs between 15-20 lbs. at 6 months.

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  19. Mine is on the larger side – 8 lbs 8 oz when she was born but 15 1/2 lbs now at 3 1/2 months. Kid is a champion eater. She is in 6 month size clothes and will be moving on to a bigger size soon. She is just outgrowing her size 2 diapers. I know that really doesn’t help since all babies are so different, but it may give you some perspective.

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  20. Thanks everyone. I opted for size 3, just in case. I don’t think they came in numbered sizes when my kids were in diapers. But we were riding on dinosaur’s backs to the grocery store after work, after picking up the kids at day care, racing to get there before the time they started charging the $5 penalty for being late. I was always so embarrassed when that happened. Ooo, sorry for the tangent. I think the point is, I feel old.
    And look at you go Hulk. What a good dad you be. Why are gals in Michigan so stupid?
    Elizabeth my dear, you just sent a whole lotta diapers and wipes to a six month old boy in Cleveland. I’m sorry I couldn’t throw in any extra stuff this time.

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  21. I am glad someone else knows diaper things. Also, I love it when you guys forget I am an actual human and not, you know, a video game character. How exactly was I supposed to take the cute store owners PHOTO? Excuse me, total stranger! Ima just take your picture now for no reason! Thanks! Or, pardon me, store owner who I do not know, I have a blog. Let me take your picture. No, you cannot know my blog address on which your picture will appear, because I am about to talk about how cute you are. Good day, sir!

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  22. That’s exactly what you should have done/said June.
    I don’t know anything about diapers because my (now 31 year old) daughter wore the real deal… cloth diapers with PINS and plastic pants.
    I say just get a gift receipt so they can be returned if necessary.

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  23. Well piffle my kipper’s dick!
    Am I alone in the fact that dang near daily the Hulk makes me do a double take and ALMOST (I said almost) makes me think there might be hope for men yet? Then I think back to his before makeover self and shake my head and resolve myself to the fact there really isn’t any hope.

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  24. PJ, I’m glad you’re not dead. And you’ve hit upon one of the few ways to sort-of rhyme my name! Siren is tiring. It’s one of my cat’s personal mantras.
    Also, and back on topic, sort of, at first I was all confused about the kipper dicks, because I thought kippers were those little round things you put in salads when you’re trying to be sophisticated, and I thought you all were having anatomical confusion, because those little round things do NOT look like the dicky part of boy anatomy.
    Then I Googled and realized I was mixing kippers up with capers. About which it’s impossible to give a kipper’s dick, by the way, because obviously capers are kipper balls.

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  25. Not to change the subject, but…LauraL, I’m still handing out fruit to random people for you at work. Once I hear, “I’m hungry,” I’m right there offering raisins, fruit cups, and tangerines.
    June, I love that you met a jet setter. Don’t you just love meeting people who’ve just flown in hours before from far away places? They’re lives seem so interesting. I mean really, kippers dick, who says that??? Someone who just flew in from England, that’s who!

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  26. I just love coming here to read all the comments and June’s wittiness. It has been a long week as we have lost 2 people from our department at work. Just like that, dead. And two from my church as well, one a 13 year old. So you all deserve a RAoK for making me smile this week.
    Plus, I love hearing the British talk. And their sayings too. I worked with one who kept asking to borrow my rubber when they meant eraser. I giggled like a 12 year old whenever she said that.

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  27. I’m fascinated that Hulk remembers Hulkette’s birth details. I’m not sure about my hubby. I don’t think he would remember birth weights. I do know he doesn’t remember the times of birth, as our oldest daughter’s birthday was the day before Thanksgiving. I kept teasing her that her actual birthday wouldn’t begin until 4:14pm, the time she was born. The kids then quizzed husband. He knows nothing.
    Oldest~ 4:14pm
    Middle~ 8:24am
    Youngest~ 9:04 am
    It amuses me that they were all born on a 4.

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  28. Well don’t ask a MAN if he’s excited for the wedding! They’re honour bound to say no and then a group of them in pub will be all “urgh my wife’s MAKING me watch the wedding,” and they’ll all secretly love it. Also did you all know we’re having riots in London? Charles and Camilla’s car got attacked, should brighten up the days of some of you mean haters 😛
    Also it always surprises me when I see the amount of security your politcal people get, I’m kind of used to seeing our royals covorting with commoners and MPs getting egged. Must be boring if yours are all safe all the time.

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  29. Sadie who is proud of Duffylou for finding the angels to sponsor. Seems like several readers at BBP followed her example. says:

    Anita, thank you for sponsoring an angel for me. I love the idea that she will be getting a vanity set. Adorable!
    I’m back after following Duffylou’s fabulous idea of using Target’s website to find items for your angel. Your 6 year old little girl just got the bath & body set she wanted, plus a few more clothes she needed. JCP’s website did not have the bath & body set.
    Can I just say that I wish I had used Target’s site for the full order as it was much easier to use than JCP? JCP was an exercise in frustration and, yes, that definitely counts as an extra RAoK. Your little angel will now have new clothes, new shoes, her bath & body set, plus new books because I want to encourage all children to read.
    This morning, I delivered the Walmart gift cards in your honor to the yoga studio who is sponsoring two families for Christmas.
    My major RAoks have now been accomplished, but I’ll be on the look out for other opportunities.

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  30. Sadie who is proud of Duffylou for finding the angels to sponsor. Seems like several readers at BBP followed her example. says:

    Anita, thank you for sponsoring an angel for me. I love the idea that she will be getting a vanity set. Adorable!
    I’m back after following Duffylou’s fabulous idea of using Target’s website to find items for your angel. Your 6 year old little girl just got the bath & body set she wanted, plus a few more clothes she needed. JCP’s website did not have the bath & body set.
    Can I just say that I wish I had used Target’s site for the full order as it was much easier to use than JCP? JCP was an exercise in frustration and, yes, that definitely counts as an extra RAoK. Your little angel will now have new clothes, new shoes, her bath & body set, plus new books because I want to encourage all children to read.
    This morning, I delivered the Walmart gift cards in your honor to the yoga studio who is sponsoring two families for Christmas.
    My major RAoks have now been accomplished, but I’ll be on the look out for other opportunities.

    Like

  31. Sadie who is proud of Duffylou for finding the angels to sponsor. Seems like several readers at BBP followed her example. says:

    Anita, thank you for sponsoring an angel for me. I love the idea that she will be getting a vanity set. Adorable!
    I’m back after following Duffylou’s fabulous idea of using Target’s website to find items for your angel. Your 6 year old little girl just got the bath & body set she wanted, plus a few more clothes she needed. JCP’s website did not have the bath & body set.
    Can I just say that I wish I had used Target’s site for the full order as it was much easier to use than JCP? JCP was an exercise in frustration and, yes, that definitely counts as an extra RAoK. Your little angel will now have new clothes, new shoes, her bath & body set, plus new books because I want to encourage all children to read.
    This morning, I delivered the Walmart gift cards in your honor to the yoga studio who is sponsoring two families for Christmas.
    My major RAoks have now been accomplished, but I’ll be on the look out for other opportunities.

    Like

  32. I was walking through a local British Emporium recently. Small and cute with everything British. Along with all the imported cans of food there was one called “Spotted Dick.” I couldn’t help it, the 12 year old in me had to snicker out my nose. Apparently it’s a steamed suet pudding with currants (the spots.) Don’t know where the “dick” part came in.
    Didn’t see any kipper’s dick though.

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  33. OK, now I’m really jealous of all of you and your cute little angels and snowflakes and getting cute gifts for cute kids. I love doing operation christmas child but our collection date was 18th of November(?) so I totally missed that. Can’t wait for my friends to start having kids so I can spoil them.

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  34. Sadie who thinks our politicians prefer to live in a bubble of safety, but this is the last time I'll discuss politics. I'll stay in my own bubble. says:

    Carol from Alabama, you have had a sad week indeed. How awful for the families and friends, especially those who lost the child.
    Glad Junie was able to provide a smile by her encounter with Barry Gibb’s runner up.
    And, Nithya, I just don’t get the logic of the destruction caused by the rioters just because they are angry. I’ve seen it on the news and it appears they are trying to destroy their country. Who do they think will have to pay for all the repairs? The tax payers.

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  35. Sadie who thinks our politicians prefer to live in a bubble of safety, but this is the last time I'll discuss politics. I'll stay in my own bubble. says:

    Carol from Alabama, you have had a sad week indeed. How awful for the families and friends, especially those who lost the child.
    Glad Junie was able to provide a smile by her encounter with Barry Gibb’s runner up.
    And, Nithya, I just don’t get the logic of the destruction caused by the rioters just because they are angry. I’ve seen it on the news and it appears they are trying to destroy their country. Who do they think will have to pay for all the repairs? The tax payers.

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  36. Sadie who thinks our politicians prefer to live in a bubble of safety, but this is the last time I'll discuss politics. I'll stay in my own bubble. says:

    Carol from Alabama, you have had a sad week indeed. How awful for the families and friends, especially those who lost the child.
    Glad Junie was able to provide a smile by her encounter with Barry Gibb’s runner up.
    And, Nithya, I just don’t get the logic of the destruction caused by the rioters just because they are angry. I’ve seen it on the news and it appears they are trying to destroy their country. Who do they think will have to pay for all the repairs? The tax payers.

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  37. Nithya, since you are our medical consultant, doesn’t spotted dick sound like a disease?

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  38. Thank you Sadie! My little angel will just love that bath and body set I’m sure. Both of the angels with be the pretties ones around.
    Along with some clothes I also got yours some pink and silver converse. They were just so gosh darn cute. I have all boys and like the chance to buy pink. And I just got myself some chucks for hubby to wrap and put under the tree. This way there will be no returning needed 🙂
    Did you do the down dog while you were at the yoga studio? Gosh I miss the one I used to go to.

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  39. Thank you Sadie! My little angel will just love that bath and body set I’m sure. Both of the angels with be the pretties ones around.
    Along with some clothes I also got yours some pink and silver converse. They were just so gosh darn cute. I have all boys and like the chance to buy pink. And I just got myself some chucks for hubby to wrap and put under the tree. This way there will be no returning needed 🙂
    Did you do the down dog while you were at the yoga studio? Gosh I miss the one I used to go to.

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  40. Thank you Sadie! My little angel will just love that bath and body set I’m sure. Both of the angels with be the pretties ones around.
    Along with some clothes I also got yours some pink and silver converse. They were just so gosh darn cute. I have all boys and like the chance to buy pink. And I just got myself some chucks for hubby to wrap and put under the tree. This way there will be no returning needed 🙂
    Did you do the down dog while you were at the yoga studio? Gosh I miss the one I used to go to.

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  41. Yeah spotted dick sounds a lot like a disease. I also remember a conversation with cousins who’d moved from India to Boston and we were discussing how yukky it is to have raisins in desserts and they’d thought I’d gone off on a child-trauma tangent: “the worst thing about lunchtime at school was how they expected us to eat spotted dick nearly EVERY DAY.”
    Eton mess and figgy dowdy are also unattractive names for lovely desserts. Toad in the hole is a gross name for a main meal. But then someone was like “yeah and steak and kidney pie sounds like it’d have kidney on it,” and that’s when you know they’re going to heave it back up when you say yes, yes it does.

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  42. I think if you have the phone on silent it does not make the camera sound. If it were me, I would still not take a secret picture of a stranger, just letting you know.

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  43. Annie who wants to keep up with the other RAoK'ers and also apparently likes to give away wine to unpleasant people says:

    Being inspired by all the RAoK’ers here, yet not being brave enough to formally sign up this year, I charged a struggling, single-mom customer only 15% of what her bill really should have been yesterday. And then later, spur-of-the moment, I gave Cranky McCrankyPants Delivery Driver (did I mention he’s cranky?) a nice bottle of wine, just because he seemed to be especially peeved with life. Next time I see him, if he’s not spewing venom that day, I’ll ask if he gave a kipper’s dick about the wine.

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