He climbed that thing like he was Tenzing Norgay. And I'd like to thank Marvin for the 88374 Mt. Everest documentaries, which allow me to toss out names like Tenzing Norgay.
You'd think the part where I have a very bad cat would dissuade me from what else happened last night, but have you met me?
It was 11:30, and I was watching that movie where Nicholas Cage is an angel and Meg Ryan has really bad short curly hair. What I was watching was irrelevant to the story, except I went on to have a dream that I was dead and floated around and found Marvin, who was at an outdoor concert with his new rather chubby wife and I haunted him.
I am not making that part up.
But before the dream where Marvin was a chubby chaser, I was watching my show and marveling at how cute Meg Ryan was before she ruined herself with all that surgery, when I heard:
Now, you'd think I wouldn't even HEAR a mow, seeing as I have the three cats, but this was not one of MY cats' mows, and I sat right up.
It was so cold outside last night, and the wind was blowing. I went to the door, and right there in our doorway, like he was paying us a visit, was a big fluffy peach and white cat.
"Mow!" He started to walk right inside! Like he was the Avon lady. Which would have been good because I was clean out of Derek Jeter's Driven cologne.
Of course, as soon as the poor thing darkened our doorstep, those two blond bozos came bounding out of the bedroom to say hello, neither one meaning any harm, but if you were a cold orange and white fluffy cat, and two enthusiastic dogs were smiling at you, would you hesitate?
So I herded them in the bedroom and shut the door, but even though he kept stepping into the house a little, he wouldn't come in all the way. Henry and Winston watched all this but didn't care. I think they knew him from their outside adventures.
Francis has no idea any of this happened. He was off glaring at the wall somewhere.
Oh, his little fur was blowing in the wind, the doorway kitty. I got food to try to lure him, and I even tried to pick him up but I could tell he was gonna freak the hell out if I did that. I kept picturing Marvin's happy reaction when he woke up and we had a new peach cat.
And for the record, I wasn't gonna KEEP peach kitty, HULK, I was gonna have a blog giveaway or something. I just wanted him to sleep somewhere warm last night.
Anyway, he wasn't even interested in the food, so maybe he has a home, but I got a box with towels and put it on the porch. This morning the food was still there and Winston gleefully ate it.
Peach kitty! I hope he's okay. What should we name him? Oh, crap, it's Pieces of Wisdom day, isn't it? Okay, that'll be our question for Pieces of Wisdom. What do we name cold doorway peachy kitty? I was thinking Burrrrt. Because I love myself.
What if he belonged to dead neighbor? Did you ever think of that? Oh, what are we gonna do? Why did he come to my door? And why didn't he leave any Skin So Soft samples? That stuff is great.