A really tiny piece of wisdom that involves a cat, Hulk


He climbed that thing like he was Tenzing Norgay. And I'd like to thank Marvin for the 88374 Mt. Everest documentaries, which allow me to toss out names like Tenzing Norgay.

You'd think the part where I have a very bad cat would dissuade me from what else happened last night, but have you met me?

It was 11:30, and I was watching that movie where Nicholas Cage is an angel and Meg Ryan has really bad short curly hair. What I was watching was irrelevant to the story, except I went on to have a dream that I was dead and floated around and found Marvin, who was at an outdoor concert with his new rather chubby wife and I haunted him.

I am not making that part up.

But before the dream where Marvin was a chubby chaser, I was watching my show and marveling at how cute Meg Ryan was before she ruined herself with all that surgery, when I heard:


Now, you'd think I wouldn't even HEAR a mow, seeing as I have the three cats, but this was not one of MY cats' mows, and I sat right up.


It was so cold outside last night, and the wind was blowing. I went to the door, and right there in our doorway, like he was paying us a visit, was a big fluffy peach and white cat.

"Mow!" He started to walk right inside! Like he was the Avon lady. Which would have been good because I was clean out of Derek Jeter's Driven cologne.

Of course, as soon as the poor thing darkened our doorstep, those two blond bozos came bounding out of the bedroom to say hello, neither one meaning any harm, but if you were a cold orange and white fluffy cat, and two enthusiastic dogs were smiling at you, would you hesitate?

So I herded them in the bedroom and shut the door, but even though he kept stepping into the house a little, he wouldn't come in all the way. Henry and Winston watched all this but didn't care. I think they knew him from their outside adventures.

Francis has no idea any of this happened. He was off glaring at the wall somewhere.

Oh, his little fur was blowing in the wind, the doorway kitty. I got food to try to lure him, and I even tried to pick him up but I could tell he was gonna freak the hell out if I did that. I kept picturing Marvin's happy reaction when he woke up and we had a new peach cat.

And for the record, I wasn't gonna KEEP peach kitty, HULK, I was gonna have a blog giveaway or something. I just wanted him to sleep somewhere warm last night.

Anyway, he wasn't even interested in the food, so maybe he has a home, but I got a box with towels and put it on the porch. This morning the food was still there and Winston gleefully ate it.

Peach kitty! I hope he's okay. What should we name him? Oh, crap, it's Pieces of Wisdom day, isn't it? Okay, that'll be our question for Pieces of Wisdom. What do we name cold doorway peachy kitty? I was thinking Burrrrt. Because I love myself.

What if he belonged to dead neighbor? Did you ever think of that? Oh, what are we gonna do? Why did he come to my door? And why didn't he leave any Skin So Soft samples? That stuff is great.


Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

129 thoughts on “A really tiny piece of wisdom that involves a cat, Hulk”

  1. I didn’t take time to read all the posts yet so this may already have been suggested, but how bout Kipper Kitty? Or just Kipper, that sounds a little less sissy. Since kippers have been on everyone’s mind lately.


  2. Diane~ when I was little, I had a black and white kitty at my aunt’s farm that I aptly named Blackie-White. I still think it’s the best name ever!


  3. OK, Paula beat me to it! She’s coming up with some good ones, you’re going to have to find a few more cats to use up all these names. My nieces had so many barn cats they started using names like Pickle, Corncob and Hairband…whatever they happened to see at the time of the naming of the cat.
    That is really sad about your neighbor but…Autopsy photos…freakin’ hilarious!
    Nice kitty ornament.


  4. Too funny, Jan! I will be sure to tell my sister. We have always teased her about Blackish-Brownish (in the most loving, sisterly way, of course!). Our cats have been Honey, Kiwi, Pudding, Mama, Phoebe, and Abby.
    Winston kind of looks like a mountain lion in that tree. Not that I’ve seen one in person. He looks like what I think a mountain lion looks like, I guess. Or a bobcat? Are those the same thing? We don’t have either where I live.


  5. Jan (with all the cat names) we don’t really “name” our strays that we feed but they go by ‘grey kitty’, ‘little grey’, ‘no tail’ and so on. I guess we think if we don’t name them then we are not really responsible for them. We fed and took care of ‘grey kitty’ for over 10 years! Now the only stray we have around is ‘no tail’. He is grey with (wait now) no tail. By contrast our official kitties were named Bimini, Aruba, Mercedes, Studebaker, Turbo, Oreo, Ranger and now Augie. Augie is short for Augusta National Golf Club. DH is a golfer; if we get a female kitten she will be named Pebble for Pebble Beach Golf Course.


  6. Orangejello. Like that old “my sister’s neighbor’s daughter’s boyfriend knew a lady who had twins…”
    I’ve been bad on reporting my RAKs. Money tossed in kettles, mittens added to the mitten drive, more bigger than normal tips, advice given to a student who I know will ignore it and keep making the same dumb choices but pretending I thought she would do better, AND, tomorrow? Giving up my lunch hour to cover for someone else.
    I also pledged to make this a nag free month – letting all the dumb, annoying stuff hubby does go without comment. He hasn’t even noticed. Which means the nagging probably goes unnoticed too. I may give it up for good in a RAK to myself!


  7. All these wonderful kitty names, and obvious love of cats showing up here. I am new as a commenter, and can only assume that all you regulars hail from all over. As a group RAoK, please check with your local rescues and ask if there is a TNR (trap,neuter, release)program in your area. All these sweet strays that we are caring for are just making more strays who may not fare so well. Don’t intend to offend this wonderful blogspace, but I am in animal rescue, and cannot keep my big mouth shut about it. I am in a suburb of Atlanta, and our local Animal Control euthanizes over 200 cats per month due to people not spay/neutering their pets. If you loves them kitties,please help them! Okay, shut it, that’s it, back to the joy. June, I don’t believe Marvin would ever attend an outdoor concert (the most romantic date) with anyone but you.


  8. So was the peach kitty a boy? Were his nads large? If so. James. James and The Giant Peach.
    Y’all are KILLING ME!
    2 RAoK for you today. And several Mini RAoK. First, held the dingity dangity cutest nappy headed little munchkin little baby girl at the TJ Max while her Mama tried on some clothes. I could hear her tying to find a place to put said munchkin head whilst trying on clothes and offered my assistance. She kept her dressing room door open and I (modestly) looked away while wishing I could steal this little baby with her red and green bowed up 100 little braids on her tiny little head. Scrumptious.
    Next. I made and delivered Reindeer Food to our neighbor’s little girl. She was THRILLED for her little 2.5 year old self. I asked her who was commin to town and she said “Santa Miss Lee” and I said, how’s he gettin here? She said “in da airoplane Miss Lee” and I said, who’s driving the airoplane? She said “Ruuuudoofff”. Again, scrumptious. So I explained to her about Reindeer Food …. it sparkles. When you sprinkle it on your lawn on Chritmas Eve, it guides Rudolph in!!!
    The little RAoKs? Let people in front of me with fewer items at Target (Hi Steve!). Let several cars go ahead of me. Aaaaand, gave $5 to the drive thru window girl and said, buy yoursel a hot chocolte..cuz baby, its cold outside.
    Lastly. Hulk. You may not have gold underwear, but c’mon. Admit it. You’ve got speedos with SHAZAAM across the ass.


  9. I once read that the singer Pink named her dog F*cker just so she could yell “COME HERE F*CKER” whilst out in public! Kinda genius if you ask me!
    Kate- my dad’s name from the grandkids is Dude. Makes me laugh every time I hear him referred to that way.


  10. We once had a cat named, “Sponge.” He was a stray that showed up and started sponging off of us (because we’re suckers), hence the name. Sponge could give Fran a run for the Angry Money. He hated everyone and everything dammit and he’d cut you if you so much as looked at him wrong.


  11. Loved that your cat related post inspired an ad alongside the post for the Litter Robot or some such thing. Looked like a space traveler for cats.
    Love the name Melba although it’s too late for me to be posting a POW idea…oh well, never stopped me before.
    And I did a little RAK yesterday – I was Coffee Claus to the 2 cars behind me at Starbucks.
    Off to think of something to do today –


  12. Actually, Hulk, it’s an Avon reference, really. He’s hawking some cologne over at the Avon. I’m sure June knows he plays some sort of sport involving a ball but she was only referencing him because of Avon calling. Sorry.


  13. Whenever Carol from AL-A-BAMA! says “dh”, I always think that means “dead husband”.


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