Pieces of Wisdom–Greed Edition

I had a dream last night that I found the best mascara ever. My eyelashes looked like I had slaughtered a mink and slapped its poor pelt up there. Oh, my lashes looked good. In my dream, I kept admiring them in the mirror and batting them at everyone.

Am I the shallowest person you ever met in your life?

Or what?

In other deep news, Kate, the future queen of England, emailed me. She reads my blog. She is one of the 950 million. You may have seen her comments–her comment name is camillasnevergettingherwrinkledbuttinthatthrone? Anyway, she said because I am so into the royal wedding, and was such a Diana fan, that she wanted to send me a little token of her appreciation.

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So she sent me her engagement ring.

Dianapetsedsel
Alternatively, perhaps my QVC simulated Princess Diana ring arrived! Edsel is thrilled.

I wore it out last night with some friends, and was I obsessed? Did I have to bring it up at every turn? "My Princess Diana ring and I will have coffee." "Oooo! My Princess Diana ring and I found it quite chilly out tonight!"

I am delighted to tell you that toward the end of the night, some guy I don't know very well took my hand and said, "Woah! Bling-bling!"

Okay. 2002 called. Wants its phrase back. But still. At least someone finally noticed my large extremely real sapphire without me bringing it up.

Which brings me to today's Pieces of Wisdom question. It's Christmastime, whether you celebrate Christmas or not. I mean, December 25 is Christmas, I'm just telling you, even if you are a pagan. And what I really enjoy about Christmas is sitting by the tree when it's quiet, and really contemplating all the things Ima get.

So that's today's question. If you could have anything you wanted for Christmas, the sky's the limit, money is no object, what would you want? And if you don't celebrate Christmas, pretend you do. Or at least pretend you could have whatever gift you wanted.

Me? I'd want plastic surgery to rid myself of this bulbous nose. Maybe a little eye lift, so I could always look like I was saying, "You stuck my Lady Diana ring WHERE?"

I mean, it's just the same as wanting peace on earth, because if I had a better nose, I'd feel so peaceful. Oh, and filler. For that Panama Canal wrinkle between my eyebrows. It's like my eyebrows are always trying to say, "We're number one!" Like, OKAY, we get it. Please be number blank again.

So what say you? Be greedy. Go!

 

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

131 thoughts on “Pieces of Wisdom–Greed Edition”

  1. The Greedy, Self-Centered Me wants:
    Some cosmetic dentistry first off.
    An unlimited credit card that someone else pays for so I can buy whatever I want, like all the books I want, camera stuff, clothes, etc…
    A trip to Europe. I’m thinking a month at least.
    A maid to clean up this house every week(did someone mention Alice from the Brady Bunch?).
    To be 16 again but with the knowledge I’ve acquired now! Yes I would go back to those days, but only with my 44 year old brain.
    Seriously, all the above would be nice but when I look around at how blessed we are, I want for nothing.
    The Not Greedy Me:
    No sickness anymore for anyone.
    Long life and good health and happiness for my family.
    To be able to help people-poor, alone, whatever.
    “I really do want World Peace”

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  2. A totally revamped and updated Mercedes … the same one in “To Catch a Thief” with Grace Kelly but modernized inside like they can do now.I love that car …

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  3. Anita, I have a couple of small RAoK’s to report today. While I was out I put $ in the red kettle and added to my grocery bill for Project Share in your name.
    Hey, I can live with my outdated house and bad carpet if Jerry can just get his kidney. All the best to you, Jerry.
    And Joann, wishing you the patience of Job ’cause you’re going to need it.

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  4. If I could have anything and money is no object?
    I’d just want to live my life with my big bills paid; mortgage & the kids’ college. That’s it, I’ll take care of the rest.

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  5. Alicia, I heart you. Really..been there. Original JoAnn, hopeful news…thoughts and prayers.

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  6. Alicia, I heart you. Really..been there. Original JoAnn, hopeful news…thoughts and prayers.

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  7. Alicia, I heart you. Really..been there. Original JoAnn, hopeful news…thoughts and prayers.

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  8. Praying for all my BBP friends tonight before I go to sleep. Jerry ~ You will be in my prayers daily until you have a kidney. Joann ~Your mother in law will also be in my prayers.
    We’re all fun, games, silliness here at BBP, but this year I’ve realized we’re also heart, love and friendship. It can be pretty easy to get bogged down with my own “troubles”…but in reality, there is so much more to be thankful for than not.

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  9. I want to go back and read everyone’s comment…that will probably be tomorrow as the clock is getting ready to strike midnight here and I am now a working girl.
    The number one thing I would want for Christmas is for my marriage to be restored and my husband to come home.
    After that I’m down with plastic surgery.
    A girl can dream.

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  10. Jerry: You will get your kidney. The universe is kind. I’m am finally learning that after 48 years on the planet. One of my oldest and dearest friends had a transplant five years ago and is terrific today. Be blessed.
    Joann: Tell your MIL that even Fox admits that it is an opinion network. (Snopes it) They say themselves that they only report the news from 8-10 in the morning and 6-7 at night. ( I could have the times wrong.) For reals. The basic problem with their “news” is that they mostly report on what their opinion journalists blabber about all day. Ugh. I’m so glad her cancer looks fixable. Yay! I, myself got a fantabulous Christmas gift at my physical today. My doc said I looked terrific! And she grilled me about my diet because of my super cholesterol readings. I may have converted her. Heeeee.
    And finally, Carole! Those are super RAoks! Thank you! My new one for you will be to wish you a fresh start. (((hugs)))

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  11. Thank you Furry! And Hulk, you are so absolutely correct. I love to watch Forensics Files and the spouse ALWAYS does it.:) Thank you June for bringing together this fabulous assortment of friends through your amazing blog. Merry Christmas everyone and may 2011 be the best year ever!

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  12. A cure for cancer.
    We just lost a dear friend at church. I have a girl friend from high school that only has days to live. My hubby’s brother is fighting stage III colon cancer and one of our very best friends lost his only kidney to cancer.
    So the cure would be my hope and prayer.

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  13. Btw, the animal sanctuary would be to protect, house and care for homeless, etc., animals, not just to provide me with endless pets.
    I am verklempt at some of the other wishes.
    Also, Texas Kari, I put a couple of new toys in the Toys for Tots box in our lobby this morning. And I wanted to tell June that last year I spent a lot of money on my RAoK. This year I didn’t spend much at all but I feel like I did more.

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  14. Btw, the animal sanctuary would be to protect, house and care for homeless, etc., animals, not just to provide me with endless pets.
    I am verklempt at some of the other wishes.
    Also, Texas Kari, I put a couple of new toys in the Toys for Tots box in our lobby this morning. And I wanted to tell June that last year I spent a lot of money on my RAoK. This year I didn’t spend much at all but I feel like I did more.

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  15. Btw, the animal sanctuary would be to protect, house and care for homeless, etc., animals, not just to provide me with endless pets.
    I am verklempt at some of the other wishes.
    Also, Texas Kari, I put a couple of new toys in the Toys for Tots box in our lobby this morning. And I wanted to tell June that last year I spent a lot of money on my RAoK. This year I didn’t spend much at all but I feel like I did more.

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  16. Hugs to Mrs. Oh, Tee, Lisa Pie and everyone else who is dealing with loss in whatever form. It makes it that much harder during the holidays.
    Wishing strength and courage to Nelson’s Mama, Joann, Lisa Pie, DuffyLou, Jerry and others who need it. And, above all, either restored or continued good health to everyone in BBPland.

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  17. Letha,
    I just sent money for Tiny Tim. I used Paypal on your website. The way it’s set up in Paypal is a payment, not a donation. There is not a way for the sender to choose “gift” and when I got my Paypal receipt it was listed as payment. I believe the recipient is charged a fee if the money is sent this way. I know if it is sent as a gift the recipient receives the full donation.
    I could be way off base, but it may be something to look into.

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  18. I know I’m late to the party. I would like a get out of jail free card. Not that I think I’m going to jail (or prison, that’s included) any time soon, but it’d be nice if I ever was going to. “Sorry, I have a get out of jail free card. Give me two hundred dollars.”

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  19. Twelvedaysold, you are cracking me up with the staying out of prison thing. Aren’t you the one who makes a yearly Thanksgiving announcement about being thankful for not being in prison? I’m beginning to think you have quite the preoccupation here. Is there anything about your past you’d like to tell us?

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  20. wowsa, am I late to this one!
    RAoK- Jill Monroe, listen up!
    -I have been putting money in every Salvation Army can that I see!
    -Bought the coffee of the person behind me!
    -Am donating tons of baby stuff to those who need it.
    As for my wish! I’d love
    -someone to give me the money to start my own dream business, a cake/cupcake shop
    -a trip for hubs and I to go to Vegas!
    -money so that I could stay home with our new baby until she goes to school
    -a job as a movie reviewer OR a literary agent

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  21. who is the person again that needs stuff on her baby registry and has a mother in law that won’t buy anything? Where are you registered, maybe I will get you something. How much does it cost to ship a baby matress, I have one yuo could have.

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