I asked all y'all all all to send me pictures of what you were up to yesterday, and here they are. Siren sent me the first photo of her happy-go-lucky self, right at midnight Sunday morning. She did not tell me her locale, but she said "Eastern time," which leads me to believe she is … Continue reading Picture book. Pictures of your dogs-a, and your antipasta, a long time ago. Or, yesterday.
Don't forget, today is the day to send me your picture of something from today. I don't care what it is. Send me a picture of the Schwepps in your grocery aisle. I have gotten several pictures already, and here is a reminder: do not forget to send me your name, YOUR BLOG LINK (don't … Continue reading Picture day
Oh, please. Like I have time to blog. Do you understand just HOW MANY Sopranos episodes there are? Also too, Marvin and I are cleaning up the back yard, which looks like depressed drug addicts own it. Depressed drug addicts who enjoy disemboweling plush toys. Then I have a movie with my friend Hammy this … Continue reading Cranky June
Wouldn't it have been awful if I'd have driven all the way for that Rockwell exhibit and instead of Normal Rockwell it was that idiot Rockwell, who sang Somebody's Watchin' Me? I realize that is the worst video ever. The real video made you sit through TWO COMMERCIALS first and I refused to put … Continue reading Rockwellin out with my smock out
We just had drama over here at house o' June. I fed Francis his morning bunny and Tallulah tried the whole get-on-the-angry-chair-to-check-it-out move that Edsel's been doing. You have never seen so much fur fly in your life. Francis smack smack smacked poor Talu, leaving her with a bloody snout. Tallulah showed her teeth and … Continue reading It’s me, you old poop!
Crap. Yesterday I asked all y'all to give me some advice on how to switch to decaf, even though caffeine is the best best best thing in the whole wide world and why would anyone want to live without it? Maybe migraines aren't that bad. What say you? So yesterday Edsel and I headed out … Continue reading Pieces of Wisdom–June detoxes. Sort of.
I returned to the headache clinic this morning, as I have not seen the headache docor who diagnosed me with a "delicate brain" since May. Because I was in that study of the experimental migraine medicine, I always saw the nurse. The head nurse, as it were. Get it? Bah. My brain may be delicate, … Continue reading June and her delicate brain, part deux
A few days ago, I mentioned that I had a bunny in college. My friend Dottie was kind enough to email me a photo of that lovely time of my life. Let's talk. First off, how did I not puncture poor waving Roxanne with those nails? What was going on, there? Did I have a … Continue reading June gets vinegar-y
When Marvin and I met, you know, the second time--not when we first dated in college but when we got back together in the '90s--he lived in LA and I lived in Seattle. We had a long-distance relationship for about, oh, three months before we said screw it, I'm moving to LA. He had the … Continue reading Soon found out, had a tabletop of glass
Wouldn't this be relaxing? Trying to eat while huge rabid beasts begrudge your every bite? Not to mention having the phone recharger dangling in your Festa di Fantista. I know this blog has been all-pets-all-the-time, live-nude-pets, but I got a call from the vet yesterday, and it turns out Francis' irritated bowel is more irritated … Continue reading And eight animal posts is enough to fill our lives with boredom. Also? We spend our days like bright and shiny new dimes.
Yesterday, between my 75 vet appointments, I also called my beleaguered doctor. "Dr. OverMe? It's June." "Yes, June. What is it?" sighed Dr. OverMe. She failed to add the "now," but it was implied. "Will you call me in a prescription for a Z-Pack? I know I have a sinus infection. I am absolutely positive." … Continue reading June shoots saline up her nose holes. Makes you want to read on, doesn’t it?
Fran is gonna live, it looks like. Did you ever read that article in The Onion, Cat Refuses to Die? That is so my cranky-arse cat. The vet is pretty sure he has an irritated bowel, which makes sense because the rest of him is irritated on a regular basis. She said for years, vets … Continue reading Nine lives, all of them crappy
Just took Edsel in for his tutoring. Francis' vet will be here at 10:00. In the meantime, I was Googling dog neutering and found this site. I guarantee you the only people who ever purchased Neuticles for their dog were m-a-l-e. And berserk.
"i fyne. eff off." Francis is still among us. I mean, as much as he ever was. The vet is coming tomorrow morning, and all day yesterday he did not barf nor mow. This annoyed me. I was all, I'm paying $11,000 to have a house call, plus the $4,900 where they have to sedate … Continue reading I heer
I was gonna do a Pieces of Wisdom about what is your favorite picture of yourself, but I feel too crappy to dig my favorite pictures--yes plural--out. Also, I am worried about Francis. He keeps having blood in his stool, not that he has his own footstool. I was trying to be all Grace Kelly … Continue reading Trouble, oh trouble…
In the immortal words of Martin Luther King, "IIIII have a cold." You know it's bad when I do not care if my socks match. The beige one on the right, there, is left over from when I had a giant polyp removed from my girly bits. It has that plastic tracking stuff on the … Continue reading And the award for most dramatic cold goes to…
Oh my shattered arse, I am dying. Can you get pneumonia overnight? And I have 97 hours of proofreading to do. Yesterday I worked from 10 a.m. until midnight or one in the morning. I had a dream that I got a new job, and they set one of those rotating book displays in front … Continue reading Don’t get too attached to me
I don't want to worry you sick, but I have a fever of 99.3. I know! In fact, I am not even sure if I am actually up typing this right now. I am kind of delirious. I called my cousin Katie, who is a nurse, as I thought she should know this pertinent health … Continue reading I got a fever, and the only cure is…more cowbell.
1) Whenever I see a headline about that poor Gifford woman who got shot in Tuscon, I immediately think they are talking about Frank Gifford. "Gifford's Breathing Tube to be Removed," I'll see, and I'm all, "WHAT HAPPENED TO FRANK GIFFORD?" Like I'm so into Frank Gifford. The only thing I know about him is … Continue reading Many things. Because one thing I am is linear.
Tallulah is so.totally.over. Marvin and his snow days. "make dadee go." We are on DAY FOUR of Marvin not having to work, and the roads are FINE. You have never met a wimpier place than the South. Anyway, Marvin is forever cuddling Talu, and speaking to her in a high, squeaky voice, and it is … Continue reading Everyone resents Marvin, and June becomes a lesbian trophy wife