June's stupid life · My pets

henh henh

In an extremely crucial piece of news, Kipper's Dick came back last night.

Hangin
It was a rainy but warm night, and his little fur was damp, but as usual he only wanted to be in for a minute. I think maybe he just has never lived indoors.

Henryunsure
Winnie and Henry hung with him, although as you can see, Henry was suspicious of Kipper's motives.

Maybe Henry wants to be only orange cat.

So that was exciting.

Also too, we went to a new year's party on, you know, new year's eve.

Maniconnye
I told my friend S to take my picture looking like I was having the time of my life, but really I look like I'm showing you my dental work. I need to get that one metal crown redone, don't I?

Anyway, there were two dogs there, one old one who slept a lot, and also a Pug. With whom I was obsessed. He constantly said, "Henh henh henh henh," which I realize means he can't really breathe due to overbreeding, but I hate to tell you it was cute anyway. It was like he was constantly making an obscene phone call.

Puggie
henh henh henh henh

He was very social butterfly-y, but when it struck midnight after that INCREDIBLY DEPRESSING Dick Clark counted us down, Pug doggie went right to bed.

Midnitegohome
Party over. henh henh. Go homes. henh.

Anyway, so here it is 2011 and Marvin and I have both made resolutions to lose 25 pounds apiece. And I do not want to hear that muscle weighs more than fat, or that I am trying to lose too much weight, or it's all about how you feel. Shut up. I want to be thin thin thin.

Thin.

This morning Marvin got up and had two waffles. We are each doing our own diets; I am doing high glycemic index. "So, this is how you're gonna lose 25 pounds?" I asked him, as he poured maple syrup AND BROWN SUGAR on his waffles.

"Yep," said Marvin.

And you want to know what's annoying? He will probably lose it faster than me.

Oh, and finally, before I lose all this weight and disappear, remember when I said I was gonna take Edsel's picture next to the dining room chairs to show his growth process? And then I never did it because getting him to sit still next to that chair is annoying? Today I got him to sit still next to the chair.

Edsellittle
Here he is the day we got him. Poor skinny guy. This is how I want to look this year.

Edselmedium
This was, like, two weeks later, in November, before he got chewy and we could hang sweaters on the back of that chair.

Edseltallandevil
Here he is today, looking possessed by demons, which he kind of is. Also, why must there always be CRAP on the dining room table? I see my pajamas, my coat, Marvin's coat, my new year's purse, a shoe. It's like that contest on Highlights Magazine where you find all the objects in the picture. God, we're slobs.

Do you know what slays me about Edsel, other than his underbite and 6-foot-tall ears? His Ronald McDonald eyebrows.

Anyway. I have to go PROOFREAD again, because what work? I know I should be all glad I have work but man Polly quit cryin', I have a ton of it to do. Keeps me off the streets. Doesn't keep me from gathering new animals, though.

Okay, henh henh henh. Till tomorrow.

 

 

40 thoughts on “henh henh

  1. You guys should see Christina, by the way. I read her blog, My Topography? Go look at it. Go look at her body. It will make you want to do Jillians workout eleven times a day. And Christina has had TWO KIDS. Also, I love how any time anyone mentions Target we all say hi to Steve. Kills me.

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  2. If Marv wants to switch to pancake breakfast tomorrow, I recommend he talk to Dick Clark’s makeup artist, cuz DAMN. That man was orange with the pancake makeup. Also, slurs are not festive, Dick. Give it up.
    I did Nutrisystem in 2010 and lost a buttload of weight. Literally. The butt is much smaller. Cheap? No. However, it is relatively delicious and absolutely works (if you don’t mind being so gassy that the Nazis want to recruit you for torture purposes.)

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  3. Duffy, I’m with you on the stress=eating more. I only wish I could loss while being stressed out. I would be wafer thin. Speaking of wafers. I bought these dark chocolate mint filled ones at Target (hi Steve) and they were so good!
    Christina, June already conned us all into doing the she devil’s workout. Oh she’s loads of fun. Watching her flare her nostrils was pretty fun.

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  4. Edsel is the cutest dog ever. I want a dog with exactly his ears.
    Also: 30 Day Shred. Do it. It is the best workout ever (Jillian Michaels should soooo give me a cut, the way I promote this workout. But really. It’s effing awesome. 20 minutes a day awesome.
    Happy new year!

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  5. Can all y’all tell me how you stop eating when your stressed? Evidently my hair falls out and I eat everything in sight.
    I’m only able to concentrate controlling one vice at a time. Stopped drinking in excess, started smoking a little more. Quit smoking, every year increased another dress size. It’ll be four years this St. Patrick’s Day. Lost 25 lbs last year being obsessed by everything I put in my mouth. Went into the hospital where I had no control and now I’ve gained all but 5 lbs back.
    What now?

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  6. Do you know I HYPERVENTILATED when I saw you had a pug on your blog today?!!?! My pug Pickle makes the most HILARIOUS noises and isn’t it hilarious how they all seem to like the other side of the dog bed better? P.S. re: diets – my doctor has been telling me for YEARS the best way to lose weight is to buy the South Beach Diet book and do everything it says.

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  7. PJ who found The Divorce Diet and the Hepatitis Diet to be highly effective but does not recommend them to anyone and since the hepatitis (not the deadly kind) diet has never minded a few extra pounds for comfort and insurance. says:

    Weight, schmeight, silver crown be damned, with hair like that, Dalink, you can grow another nose and every woman will weep with jealousy at how mah-va-lus you look.

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  8. Oh, another blog for me to read! Zadge, I spent about an hour reading through your archives and I am hooked. Nothing will ever replace BBP though! My resolution is to lose weight too, so lets see how far we go. I might have to start that awful shred thing again, maybe it will work this time…and by that I mean maybe I will stick with it this time, I am sure it works if you only actually DO it.

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  9. I need to lose 25 pounds, too, but I will settle for 20. I was thinking if I just quit drinking, I could lose about a pound a week, but what fun is that?
    my best diet is the We’re Moving to a Foreign Country AND Buying a House All at the Same Time Diet. I was real skinny then. But, alas, it involved being too stressed to eat, but not too stressed to chain-smoke. I think part of my New Fatitude is that I quit smoking this year. A mixed blessing if ever there was one.

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  10. You go with your weight loss goal! Could it be the beginning of yet another feature here at the Pie? Book club, comment of the week, pieces of wisdom Wednesday and Wtf did you eat this week?
    If you start a feature so we can all, you know, keep each other accountable, I’m there. Also want to lose 25. Hubs wants to lose 15. I’m already down 2 jeans sizes want to lose 2 more sizes.
    Ms. Oh…gawd you kill me!

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  11. Happy New Year to you and Marvin and good luck with your weight loss resolutions.
    Just back from a whirlwind trip to MI, no time to spend thinking of resolutions yet but weight loss is #1.
    Love the cat pics, they look so serious and suspicious of Kipper’s Dick.
    Ronald McDonald eyebrows – wow! So true! Edsel is one unique pup.

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  12. If you lose 25 lbs you will disappear. For serious. And if Marvin loses 25 lbs eating waffles and syrup, I will hate him forever. MEN. It is so unfair.
    My advice, go gluten free! I’ve lost 5 lbs in the past month, stomach bug notwithstanding.
    Happy New Year, dear June!!

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  13. I thought that was a coaster on the table next to the little pug dog.
    Can’t believe how much that Edsel has grown. The chair proves it.
    I surprised Win and Hen are so cordial to peachy. Oscar Snuggles would have been all bowed up and his tail the size of a baseball bat. He was not cordial to strangers (cats).
    I’m on the same diet with Furry, mental stress diet, I’ve lost ten pounds during all the holidays. It hasn’t been fun.

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  14. 3 hrs into my first day and already off plan! Whoo hoo!

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  15. Yeah, losing weight is a good goal to start on January 1. Here it is January 2 and pfft! Actually I lost 30 lb in 2010, but gained about 10 of that back. So am going to try to continue riding the roller coaster down the tracks. Not gonna show you a photo so you will know how mannnny lard pounds I need to leave behind. (especially not gonna show you a pix of my behind). Zadge, welcome to the crazy house! After checking out your blog…you have the longest, skinniest legs girl! Don’t you dare lose! Not fair!!!!! Also, you are funny, so stick around. k?

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  16. Yeah, losing weight is a good goal to start on January 1. Here it is January 2 and pfft! Actually I lost 30 lb in 2010, but gained about 10 of that back. So am going to try to continue riding the roller coaster down the tracks. Not gonna show you a photo so you will know how mannnny lard pounds I need to leave behind. (especially not gonna show you a pix of my behind). Zadge, welcome to the crazy house! After checking out your blog…you have the longest, skinniest legs girl! Don’t you dare lose! Not fair!!!!! Also, you are funny, so stick around. k?

    Like

  17. Yeah, losing weight is a good goal to start on January 1. Here it is January 2 and pfft! Actually I lost 30 lb in 2010, but gained about 10 of that back. So am going to try to continue riding the roller coaster down the tracks. Not gonna show you a photo so you will know how mannnny lard pounds I need to leave behind. (especially not gonna show you a pix of my behind). Zadge, welcome to the crazy house! After checking out your blog…you have the longest, skinniest legs girl! Don’t you dare lose! Not fair!!!!! Also, you are funny, so stick around. k?

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  18. Puggy doggy could use a little bit larger bed. He has almost outgrown it- like me and my pants.
    Yeah- I started the “lifestyle change” (diet) this morning with a nice kolache. There’s always tomorrow. Or the next day.

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  19. I’ve lost about seventeen pounds on the Severe Mental Stress diet, Kelly. At all the parties, my friends keep telling me I’ve never looked more beautiful. It’s become a real joke for me and Terra. At one of the shindigs, Terra turned to me, after the twenty-seventh person told me I was stunning and said, “Yes, Dear, tragedy becomes you.”
    Heeeee.

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  20. I’ve lost about seventeen pounds on the Severe Mental Stress diet, Kelly. At all the parties, my friends keep telling me I’ve never looked more beautiful. It’s become a real joke for me and Terra. At one of the shindigs, Terra turned to me, after the twenty-seventh person told me I was stunning and said, “Yes, Dear, tragedy becomes you.”
    Heeeee.

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  21. I’ve lost about seventeen pounds on the Severe Mental Stress diet, Kelly. At all the parties, my friends keep telling me I’ve never looked more beautiful. It’s become a real joke for me and Terra. At one of the shindigs, Terra turned to me, after the twenty-seventh person told me I was stunning and said, “Yes, Dear, tragedy becomes you.”
    Heeeee.

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  22. The Zadge feels like the last to arrive at the party!! Just found BBP last week via Dawn In Austin and am so in love, that I am losing weight! You know how that goes in the beginning of a love affair?

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  23. I started my weight loss program eating a krispy kreme that a friend bought. I don’t even particularly like them yet I ate it. I’m more of a cakey doughnut gal. I was going to suggest we all do a weigh loss pack of some sort but we all know how well it went with el diablo of workouts, our buddy Jillian. But I could really use someone to get on my case about what I’m eating. I need someone to tell my jiggly self to step away from chocolate eclair cake that I made and that cleaning it up is not really needed. My goal this year is to stop my arm from waving when my hand does.

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  24. I guess the question is who ISN”T going to try to lose weight this year? I received something from Weight Watchers in the mail and I think I may go back and give it another shot. I did WW years ago and it did work although the best weight loss program I’ve ever done was the Severe Mental Stress diet of about 10 years ago where I dropped about 20lbs in about a month and half. I had no appetite and the thought of actually eating made me sick. I may have been an absolute mental and emotional wreck but I looked damn good and THAT’S what’s important.
    I just love Edsel and his underbitey and his gigantic ears.

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  25. That Edsel is so durn cute – I could eat him up but I’m on a diet too. Weight Watchers for me. 20+ pounds down but that took me 6 months. Committed I am not. Maybe more so in 2011.
    Need to see pic of Talu next – I miss her cutie face.

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  26. Hey, I know the Zadge, from another blog! Zadge have you always been here at BBP?
    I started my weight loss goal this morning by gobbling up some William Sonoma peppermint bark for breakfast.
    I think that big fat kitty is going to be joining your menagerie soon. Do you ever feel like Angelina Jolie, June, with your many children of various colors?
    Oh, that Edsel is just about the cutest thing of all times. I hope he never grows into his ears, because they are just the best thing about him.
    I was at a New Year’s Eve party and there was this woman there, who God love her, this woman has the biggest stick up her ass I’ve ever seen. She wouldn’t know a joke if it smacked her in the face. And we were all complaining about what a downer it is to have Dick Clark up there slurring his Happy New Year greetings and all the men were imitating him and it was great fun. And then Stick Up The Ass said, “Hey, you guys do realize he had a stroke a few years back, right?” And we were all, “Duh. That’s why we’re making fun of him.” And she said, “Well, I find this conversation very inappropriate.” And she stormed off. Happy Freakin’ New Year, Debbie Downer.

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  27. I’m with you, June, on a quest to lose 25lbs. I even joined Jenny Craig on New Years Eve and let me tell you they are THE most annoying, pestering people on the planet. If they keep calling (2x in 24 hrs), I’m going to go Winston on their ass. I’m also taking bets for how long until I fall off the wagon.

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  28. Muscle weighs more than fat.
    LOVE Edsel!! Can’t get enough of his cute underbitey self.

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  29. Henry seems to be giving Kipper’s Dick a silent warning. Kind of like, “Listen here bub, I am da cute orange kitty. You get fluffy self outta here or there be big trouble.”
    I would like to know in the cute picture of the pug, why someone’s birth control pills are laying on the table?
    Edsel is a peach. He is one of a kind. He will be the class clown. Sort of like you June only you are prettier. Your hair was rocking in the New Years Eve pic.

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