Seventeen seconds before I had to be out the door for my interview, I realized my black pants were COVERED in cat fur from the knees down. It was like I had on Ugg boots.
My pants hang in the closet on one of those pants-hanger things, with the different levels, like this:
The POINT is, Winston likes to sleep in the back of the closet right under that hanger, as was evident from my mohair pants. You have no idea how desperately I was rolling and taping and plucking in there at the last minute yesterday. Good God.
Other than that, I think it went well. How do you know? I interviewed with two people and I was there for an hour. It would only be a sometime thing, like they'd call me when it got busy or whatever.
Did I tell you I got this interview because of one of my coworkers at my last job? She got laid off too. She was the one who made those owl cookies, if anyone is paying really close attention to every detail of my life. Anyway, she got a job there doing something else, not copy editing, but she found out they were looking for someone and gave them my resume. Owl-cookie girl. My hero. (ine.)
I am up early today because I have to go to the dentist. I really know how to pack a lot of living into a week, don't I? It's just a cleaning, but whenever they do a cleaning, the dentist comes in after and prods around and says scary things like, "Hmm. Eileen, write down number 16. Oh. Mmmm! And number 49."
I realize I do not have a tooth number 49. I am part shark, did I fail to mention that?
Anyway, he always tells me about stuff I should take care of before it gets bad and I always say yeah, okay, then never do anything about it except have this neverending feeling of doom that eventually numbers 16 and 49 are gonna go apeshit in my mouth parts one day.
Which really dampens my shark activities.
Finally, Marvin and I attended our first night of manners classes last night. Because we are rude. We interrupted constantly and spit food all over the instructor.
And we will NOT write a thank-you note.
No. We went for Edsel. He is attending manners classes because his elocution leaves something to be desired. Anyway, they had us all come without our dogs for the first class. They were talking about collars and heeling and the instructor said, "I don't usually recommend pinch collars for dogs who pull, unless you have some kind of impossible hound or terrier."
Marvin and I exchanged doomed glances. What is Tallulah? A hound (Beagle) and a terrier (Pit Bull). And we fly behind her like kites when we walk.
Anyway, the instructor had one of those dogs who just sits under her and watches her every move, and the only way either of my dogs would be that interested in me is if I were made of steak. That damn brainwashed dog did everything. He was over there straightening the instructor's hair with a Chi by the end of class.
So I will be interested in bringing that calm, dignified Edsel next week. And we are thinking that Tallulah, who is a proud graduate of PetSmart puppy class of '08, may come back next semester for her own manners class. Because she is no Petey, the wonder dog from last night. I can tell you.
The best part is, as we were leaving, I said to Marvin, "Now, I remember the first three homework assignments, but what was the last one?"
"….I have no CLUE," said Marvin.
Marvin never pays attention to anything. I do not know what goes on with him when we are at events where he must sit and watch things. My friend David used to have readings of his books in LA, and Marvin would go and get this far-away look in his eye, and who knows where he wanders off to?
When Marvin was a kid, he got kicked out of storytime at the library because he would get up and wander around. I can totally tell he is getting up and wandering around in his mind whenever we are at any kind of lecture. How did he get two college degrees?
Fortunately, our homework was in the 030#483&21437349 reams of paper they gave us at class.
Okay, on to get told I have miserable gums and need $80,000 worth of root canals.