June gets vinegar-y

A few days ago, I mentioned that I had a bunny in college. My friend Dottie was kind enough to email me a photo of that lovely time of my life.

Roxanne
Let's talk.

First off, how did I not puncture poor waving Roxanne with those nails? What was going on, there? Did I have a part-time job unscrewing things with those nails? Was I digging grout out of something?

And I KNOW I thought I was cute with that hair. I thought I was the shizz.

Also too, a few years ago I just strolled right into my old dorm. No one suspected the part where I am a total freshman-loving perv and I was not stopped. I walked right up to 273, my old room, and two girls were in there with the door open, and their small TV was in exactly the same place Liz and I had our TV in 1984. Killed me.

Neither of them had my hairdo, though.

While I'm on the subject of Dottie, which I vaguely was, the kitten she found is still in need of a nice home. Dot lives in Michigan.

Adoptmepleez
"i sweet. i good wif Dot's other catz. i not mind her heeug dog. i weigh four. mostly i fur. wish you could hear ant joone's squeekee kitty voice she has in her hed while she write this."

So that's that.

Finally, I wanted to let you know I drove all the way to Raleigh yesterday to buy a latte. As you do.

There's a Norman Rockwell exhibit in Raleigh, and I am sorry I like Normal Rockwell. I know this makes me vanilla, and middle-of-the-road, and uncool and I am supposed to be road tripping to see Kandinsky or something, but Norman Rockwell makes me happy.

Marvin had his usual Sunday band ridiculous practice, and sometimes I'd like to email the other wives to see if it irks the CRAP out of them that their husbands take off in the middle of EVERY Sunday for band practice. So the point is I went alone.

I go to Norman Rockwell alone. Yeah-ah with nobody else. You know when I go to Norman alone, I prefer to be by myself.

You can take me out of Michigan…

So on the way, I notice there was a Captain D's at one of the exits. Oh, I love me some Captain D's. It is kind of like Long John Silver, with the fried fish and the friend hush puppies and the fried fried bits at the bottom of your tray. Oh!

Naturally, I made a detour, because fish is brain food.

"Y'all want vinegar with that?" they asked me at the drive-thru. Of COURSE I want vinegar with that. The fried fried bits at the bottom are DELISH with vinegar on them.

Can you guess what happened? CAN YOU GUESS? Who spilled vinegar all over herself, then forgot there was a packet of spilled vinegar all over again so she dipped her coat AND PHONE in the vinegar 10 minutes later, and I just kept thinking when I got to the museum people would have thought I'd stopped off at the Festival of Douches or something.

"My, that woman must have quit her job getting grout out and gone on to professionally dye Easter eggs."

The point is, the museum was packed. PACKED. And you could not find parking and I have to go to Raleigh later this week again for my hair appointment (Ima bring in that Roxanne photo and ask her to revamp that hair look. What say you?), so I bagged the whole plan. I will go during the week. I stopped off and got a latte and drove back home.

At least I was fresh as a spring breeze. A spring malty breeze.

Okay, I'm off. Today Ima clean the house with my Martha Stewart how-to-clean-your-house book, so by the time Marvin gets home I should be completely bitchy. It's a good thing.

113 thoughts on “June gets vinegar-y

  1. Her current husband.
    *Pffft*
    Like money, looks, charm and the ability to shoot MATTER…

    Like

  2. D’awww Joann, I’m blushing.
    Hulk baby, if you my parents didn’t need me I’d pack up and move to MI.
    Then again, YOU’D probably like someone with looks, charm and maybe the motivation to clean.

    Like

  3. I am constantly amazed at how many women ALMOST want to be with me…

    Like

  4. June-Thanks man.
    Siren-what if I told you I had TWO flannel shirts AND a wide watch band?
    AND a Dewalt tool bag?

    Like

  5. Hulk, I’d say you’re well on your way to being a model lesbian. Hooray! You just need a Subaru Outback and some Birkenstocks with socks and you should be all set!

    Like

  6. Ummm… Siren and Hulk… you both just described my hubsband’s male cousin to a T. Flannels, Birkenstocks with socks, wide watch band and he drive a Subaru Outback. Is he a lesbian stuck in a man’s body???

    Like

  7. Sadie thinks today's comments ROCK. By the way, I always thought Y'ALL was plural, but love the ALL Y'ALL definition. says:

    Welcome back, Siren. I have been missing your comments.

    Like

  8. Sadie thinks today's comments ROCK. By the way, I always thought Y'ALL was plural, but love the ALL Y'ALL definition. says:

    Welcome back, Siren. I have been missing your comments.

    Like

  9. Sadie thinks today's comments ROCK. By the way, I always thought Y'ALL was plural, but love the ALL Y'ALL definition. says:

    Welcome back, Siren. I have been missing your comments.

    Like

  10. Steve, re: the Columbus, OH Norman Rockwell originals – it was my understanding that the Wagnalls Library in Lithopolis (outside Columbus) had 4 original Rockwells. In the early 2000s, they were doing something – building a display room for them? – and there would be a big to-do when they went on display, but the dot-com bubble burst and endowments went by the wayside (Wagnalls was endowed by the Wagnalls of Funk & Wagnalls). Ds used to go to a summer program at that library, a really beautiful stone building, like a little castle. I never did learn what ever happened to the Rockwells, but as far as I know, they never went on display while I lived there. Guess I need to do the Google.

    Like

  11. Ah! I was going to go to that exhibit over the weekend too but had to buy a new car instead. I think the last day is this Sunday. I doubt I’ll be able to make it now.

    Like

  12. Beverly (who doesn't touch raw meat so she can never get mad enough at her boyfriend to need to make a meatloaf ass) says:

    Pal, I have a friend that makes her husband meatloaf every time she gets mad at him. She shapes it into a giant butt and plops it down on the table in front of him for dinner. Sounds like your husband needs some meatloaf.

    Like

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