I am berserk, June's stupid life, Television

It’s me, you old poop!

We just had drama over here at house o' June. I fed Francis his morning bunny and Tallulah tried the whole get-on-the-angry-chair-to-check-it-out move that Edsel's been doing.

You have never seen so much fur fly in your life. Francis smack smack smacked poor Talu, leaving her with a bloody snout. Tallulah showed her teeth and barked, but please. Fran so won this round.

Scared 
I cleaned her up and she is sticking close to my chair now. My big tough Pit Bull.

You know what Francis has not done? Is mellow in his old age. Also? The bunny food is going to be a constant source of struggle in this house.

We really get a nice view up Talu's nostrils in that shot, don't we? Hello-hello-hello-hello! Echo-echo-echo! Don't you hate people who shout "echo" into a place where there's an echo?

Oooo! The mailman's truck is stopping at my house! Hang on. In eight seconds, old bloody snout will see it and that'll be the end of my eardrums.

Crap. He's just SITTING there, probably reading my extra-special mail. Maybe it's my Sopranos boxed set! Did I tell you I splurged and bought it on sale? Did I tell you I'm unemployed? If it's my Sopranos boxed set you will never hear from —

Oooo! Doorbell!

86hoursoffun 
Aaaaaccckk! It's here! It's here! And I have to go to stupid Raleigh today to see Norman (Rockwell, not Thayer) with my pal Carpool Queen, and then after I have to get my hair done.

Crap. Do you think I can call in Sopranoed to both things? "I'm sorry, I can't live my actual life because I want to stay home and watch a TV show."

Okay, that's pathetic. And then TONIGHT of course we have the reunion of The Real Housewives, which I cannot miss. Why does God present me with these struggles?

So I was really just writing to say I had to go cause I have to get to Raleigh, but I'm glad you could be here for this special occasion. EIGHTY-SIX EPISODES of the Sopranos. Dying. Dying then getting cut to pieces in a bathtub and put in a bowling bag. Which is only funny if you watched the Sopranos.

CRAP!

245 thoughts on “It’s me, you old poop!”

  1. I can’t believe I just read all those comments. I’m now commenting on it…because I want to see my spiro!

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  2. After reading 6,456,890 comments
    I forget what I was going to say.
    Other than, I love Francis and his bunny
    eating ways.

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  3. Oh Pal… I was so disappointed and saddened when Sammi made peace with Jenny. Why Delilah??? I love it when Sammi acts like an idiot and I want to be there so I can punch her.
    OK… changing e-mail, let’s see what I get.

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  4. Good LORDY doo. A person steps away from their computer for a few hours and LOOK at what trouble all you kids get yourself into!
    Last night was WAAAY too good on TV to be commenting – first, American Idol – where I’m digging Steven Tyler AND Jennifer Lopez. Surprising, but true.
    Then, of course, we had the Reunion Part ONE of RHoBH. That Camille does NOT do herself any favors when she talks. She looked all kinds of crazy again saying the whole season was a set-up to make her look bad. I say, “No, honey. You did that ALL BY YOURSELF!!” No set up was needed.
    Last, of course, Jersey Shore. Our Sammi is growing up [tears, quivering lip], or I guess she’s trying to until the next time she gets drunk and tells Ronnie “I’m done!” Riiiiiiiggggghhhht.
    Quality TV, kids. Quality.

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  5. Oh Siren – this doctor peeked in on me and then said to the nurse “this is what lifestyle choices get you”. Asshat. It was like I was stuffin’ my pie hole with donuts 24/7 and chain smoking cigars all day long or something. Anyhow – I am doing much better but still all Lecter-ish. Going to get all my hair chopped off today so next time you see my fonts you might think I am the Original Joann!

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  6. Thank you Fay! I guess Baltimore Murderers and Drug Dealers wouldn’t fit on their jerseys so they had to go with the team’s alternate name, the Ravens.

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  7. Glad you’re back, Mrs. Oh, even if you are Hannibal Lecter-ish. How are you?

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  8. Surprisingly enough with my ‘lifestyle’ choices and all I have never seen the Sopranos either.
    Now do you think if Fran knew he was eatting flopsy cottontail that he would be like me and say Ohhhh I can’t nom a bun? Prolly not eh.
    As for Vick. I am not a forgiver or forgetter….I think he should have been strapped down to a table and his nether regions slathered in peanut butter and then they could have let them pups at him for a while. Just sayin that would be fair is all – then he could kick start his career and get a do-over on life.
    I’ma feelin really weird today. Hannibal Lecter-ish – all mean and scarey cept without the facemask thingie. Cripes I hope this isn’t the new me!

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  9. June, congratulations on your Soprano set. I remember watching the final episode at your place while Charlotte slept in your bedroom.
    Go bake some fuckin ziti before you start watching!!!

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  10. Zadge…
    I am Republican idealogically…
    But I lean whatever way is right…
    (Correct)

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  11. Anita, you are cracking me up. I used the email “sothere@gmail.com” to get that spirograph in the center. You should try it! I hereby bequeath it to you. Do I have to die to bequeath something? I’m not dying over this. I wonder if it goes just by email, or if somehow it takes IP address into consideration too.
    PJ, I saw your comment! And yours isn’t as boring as my real one. My real one looks like what you’d see as you were drowning and looking up from the bottom of the swimming pool.

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  12. Kisses on sweet Talu’s head. Who can blame a doggie for wanting some bunny? Give the doggie some bunny, meanie June.
    Also…Six Feet Under…and I’m watching Season 4 of the Sopranos now and can’t stop and yes, feel sicky after some shows.
    How was Norman’s show? I know. I’m posting so late nobody will see this and my boring no-color spirograph thing and I thought I was the only one shallow enough to CARE but I have all along and thank you for letting me know I’m not alone.

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  13. Kisses on sweet Talu’s head. Who can blame a doggie for wanting some bunny? Give the doggie some bunny, meanie June.
    Also…Six Feet Under…and I’m watching Season 4 of the Sopranos now and can’t stop and yes, feel sicky after some shows.
    How was Norman’s show? I know. I’m posting so late nobody will see this and my boring no-color spirograph thing and I thought I was the only one shallow enough to CARE but I have all along and thank you for letting me know I’m not alone.

    Like

  14. Kisses on sweet Talu’s head. Who can blame a doggie for wanting some bunny? Give the doggie some bunny, meanie June.
    Also…Six Feet Under…and I’m watching Season 4 of the Sopranos now and can’t stop and yes, feel sicky after some shows.
    How was Norman’s show? I know. I’m posting so late nobody will see this and my boring no-color spirograph thing and I thought I was the only one shallow enough to CARE but I have all along and thank you for letting me know I’m not alone.

    Like

  15. Diane, no sparkly unicorn princess rainbow thoughts! I concede! No pink! No glitter! Ack!
    Anita, hooray! I think you should keep trying. A LOT. Sooner or later someone’s gonna get the violent purple one.
    It does SO exist.

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  16. The Wire is the best tv show ever. But NYPD Blue is right up there. Loved Sopranos, too, but it freaks me out to think that one could somehow, maybe by accident, get involved with the MOB and then you could never, ever leave. I find that horrifying.

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