Pieces of the Wisdom–Help June Throw a Ball

Before I begin today's pressing Pieces of Wisdom question, I have two photos that did not make it into yesterday's hellish show-me-your-photos project:

Faithful Reader and always hilarious commenter Paula H&B sent us a photo of her leftovers, and hello. Who has this many leftovers? I guess probably people who cook have this many leftovers. In our fridge is some three-year-old Grey Poupon and a lemon.

Anyway, Paula hails from New York. Is it hails or hales? I don't even know what it means when you say someone hails from somewhere. It just means "from" there, right? Hales (hails). How ridiculous.

And here is my oldest and dearest friend, Pal from MA. The grownup, not the baby. Why would the baby be my oldest friend? Yes, I had no friends till I met this nine-day-old. Now he's my oldest friend.

Anyway. Obviously Pal is in Massachusetts, and she held a baby somewhere. Pal and I have known each other since we were practically this age. I don't mean our current age. I mean since we were toddlers we have known each other. She had a pool. I didn't. She also had this very large ballerina doll that spun around when you pressed its crown.

I didn't.

So those are the two photos I left out, because Paula and Pal sent them to my personal email and not my blog email, per my EXPLICIT INSTRUCTIONS.

You know, once when I was a waitress, someone asked me, "Miss? That soup and salad combination. Now, does that come with a salad and soup?"


Moving on to our Pieces of Wisdom for this week, I am having a partay this Saturday, and I really wish I'd get over writing "partay." The theme, because apparently every party I give or attend must have a theme, is June's Ball: A Celebration of Edsel's Neutering.

Those coming must bring a dish or drink that somehow ties in to the theme of Edsel's, you know, removal of his parts. Here is where I need your help.

Other than nuts and cheese balls and pigs in a blanket, what else can you think of that we can serve? Carpool Queen is bringing something brilliant, but I do not want to ruin her entrance.

Ideas, please.

I also thought I should blow up a photo of Edsel and we could play pin the balls on Edsel. What say you?

Okay, tell me your thoughts. Thank you for addressing this matter at your earliest convenience.


June Gardens

Thrower of Dumb Parties

132 thoughts on “Pieces of the Wisdom–Help June Throw a Ball

  1. OK, if someone already posted this, my apologies, but you people are way too prolific for me to keep up with. Anyway, cake balls- they’re easy and tasty, although using lemon cake with cream cheese frosting is WAY too sweet. For my dad’s family I referred to them as cake bites, because they have the maturity of tweens. My uncle still insists on calling our dog Scrotie (instead of Brodie) and thinks he’s hilarious for doing so. Anyway, recipe:


  2. Bwahahaha to hit the balls off the pinata! I can only add bacon pops and melon balls: maybe two to a skewer? Also something with asparagus. I don’t know. Run out of steam.


  3. Okay it only took me the better part of 2 days to figure this out, but I knew DuffyLou reminded me of someone in her picture and I finally realized it’s Allison Janney. Which has naturally sent me off on mentally casting “Bye Bye Pie: The Movie.” June would be played by Amy Sedaris, of course. And based on nothing but yesterday’s shark picture, I have Stana Katic penciled in to play Fawn. I’m thinking maybe Kathy Bates for Paula H&B, but that’s very preliminary.


  4. Love all the great food suggestions!
    How about displaying all the food (put 3-4 meatballs on a skewer etc.) hanging from strings that are tied to various bouquets of pussywillow branches in a beautiful vases around the house? Then you could have a few pairs of scissors next to each vase so the guests could “cut” their snack off. OR have the guests bring their own scissors to the party.
    June, you know if I was there I’d totally come over the night before and help you.


  5. Oreo balls!
    1 (16 ounce) package OREO Chocolate
    Sandwich Cookies, divided
    1 (8 ounce) package PHILADELPHIA
    Cream Cheese, softened
    2 (8 ounce) packages BAKER’S Semi
    -Sweet Baking Chocolate, melted
    1. Crush 9 of the cookies to fine crumbs in food processor; reserve for later use. (Cookies can also be finely crushed in a resealable plastic bag using a rolling pin.) Crush remaining 36 cookies to fine crumbs; place in medium bowl. Add cream cheese; mix until well blended. Roll cookie mixture into 42 balls, about 1-inch in diameter.
    2. Dip balls in chocolate; place on wax paper-covered baking sheet. (Any leftover chocolate can be stored at room temperature for another use.) Sprinkle with reserved cookie crumbs.
    3. Refrigerate until firm, about 1 hour. Store leftover truffles, covered, in refrigerator.


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