June's stupid life · My pets · Pieces of Wisdom

Pieces of the Wisdom–Help June Throw a Ball

Before I begin today's pressing Pieces of Wisdom question, I have two photos that did not make it into yesterday's hellish show-me-your-photos project:

Leftovers
Faithful Reader and always hilarious commenter Paula H&B sent us a photo of her leftovers, and hello. Who has this many leftovers? I guess probably people who cook have this many leftovers. In our fridge is some three-year-old Grey Poupon and a lemon.

Anyway, Paula hails from New York. Is it hails or hales? I don't even know what it means when you say someone hails from somewhere. It just means "from" there, right? Hales (hails). How ridiculous.

Pal
And here is my oldest and dearest friend, Pal from MA. The grownup, not the baby. Why would the baby be my oldest friend? Yes, I had no friends till I met this nine-day-old. Now he's my oldest friend.

Anyway. Obviously Pal is in Massachusetts, and she held a baby somewhere. Pal and I have known each other since we were practically this age. I don't mean our current age. I mean since we were toddlers we have known each other. She had a pool. I didn't. She also had this very large ballerina doll that spun around when you pressed its crown.

I didn't.

So those are the two photos I left out, because Paula and Pal sent them to my personal email and not my blog email, per my EXPLICIT INSTRUCTIONS.

You know, once when I was a waitress, someone asked me, "Miss? That soup and salad combination. Now, does that come with a salad and soup?"

Sigh.

Moving on to our Pieces of Wisdom for this week, I am having a partay this Saturday, and I really wish I'd get over writing "partay." The theme, because apparently every party I give or attend must have a theme, is June's Ball: A Celebration of Edsel's Neutering.

Those coming must bring a dish or drink that somehow ties in to the theme of Edsel's, you know, removal of his parts. Here is where I need your help.

Other than nuts and cheese balls and pigs in a blanket, what else can you think of that we can serve? Carpool Queen is bringing something brilliant, but I do not want to ruin her entrance.

Ideas, please.

I also thought I should blow up a photo of Edsel and we could play pin the balls on Edsel. What say you?

Okay, tell me your thoughts. Thank you for addressing this matter at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,

June Gardens

Thrower of Dumb Parties

132 thoughts on “Pieces of the Wisdom–Help June Throw a Ball

  1. Oreo balls!
    Ingredients:
    1 (16 ounce) package OREO Chocolate
    Sandwich Cookies, divided
    1 (8 ounce) package PHILADELPHIA
    Cream Cheese, softened
    2 (8 ounce) packages BAKER’S Semi
    -Sweet Baking Chocolate, melted
    Directions:
    1. Crush 9 of the cookies to fine crumbs in food processor; reserve for later use. (Cookies can also be finely crushed in a resealable plastic bag using a rolling pin.) Crush remaining 36 cookies to fine crumbs; place in medium bowl. Add cream cheese; mix until well blended. Roll cookie mixture into 42 balls, about 1-inch in diameter.
    2. Dip balls in chocolate; place on wax paper-covered baking sheet. (Any leftover chocolate can be stored at room temperature for another use.) Sprinkle with reserved cookie crumbs.
    3. Refrigerate until firm, about 1 hour. Store leftover truffles, covered, in refrigerator.

    Like

  2. Chief, that is such a huge compliment. I wish I had Allison Janney’s fabulous figure.
    I appreciate your kind words.

    Like

  3. Love all the great food suggestions!
    How about displaying all the food (put 3-4 meatballs on a skewer etc.) hanging from strings that are tied to various bouquets of pussywillow branches in a beautiful vases around the house? Then you could have a few pairs of scissors next to each vase so the guests could “cut” their snack off. OR have the guests bring their own scissors to the party.
    June, you know if I was there I’d totally come over the night before and help you.

    Like

  4. Okay it only took me the better part of 2 days to figure this out, but I knew DuffyLou reminded me of someone in her picture and I finally realized it’s Allison Janney. Which has naturally sent me off on mentally casting “Bye Bye Pie: The Movie.” June would be played by Amy Sedaris, of course. And based on nothing but yesterday’s shark picture, I have Stana Katic penciled in to play Fawn. I’m thinking maybe Kathy Bates for Paula H&B, but that’s very preliminary.

    Like

  5. Bwahahaha to hit the balls off the pinata! I can only add bacon pops and melon balls: maybe two to a skewer? Also something with asparagus. I don’t know. Run out of steam.

    Like

  6. This is Super Ball weekend, isn’t it? Serve hot dogs, you know, those Ball Park Franks.

    Like

  7. OK, if someone already posted this, my apologies, but you people are way too prolific for me to keep up with. Anyway, cake balls- they’re easy and tasty, although using lemon cake with cream cheese frosting is WAY too sweet. For my dad’s family I referred to them as cake bites, because they have the maturity of tweens. My uncle still insists on calling our dog Scrotie (instead of Brodie) and thinks he’s hilarious for doing so. Anyway, recipe:
    http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/cake-balls/Detail.aspx

    Like

  8. PJ who is finally checking in today and can't believe 105 people couldn't wait to create hilarity at Eden's expense. says:

    Hulk, I got it and was going to enter a comment of appreciation but got distracted with the sheer number of responses.
    Any fish?

    Like

  9. I was gonna say buckeyes too (since I made a bunch for the holidays). Another friend of mine made cake balls. Really. Make the cake, crumble it up and add the frosting to it and shape in balls. She dipped in a chocolate candy shell to finish. If you’re good (lol!), you could make fake “hair” out of spun sugar to add to the top of each cake ball…. Ugh. maybe a little too realistic.

    Like

  10. Buckeyes! You know those “cookies” that are actually just peanut butter and powdered sugar rolled into balls and dipped in chocolate? Oh my lord…now I want some. Edsel’s chocolate balls.
    And there must be beer pong. With ping pong BALLS.

    Like

  11. PJ who is finally checking in today and can't believe 95 people couldn't wait to create hilarity at Eden's expense. says:

    Teacup, You’re killing me. Where have you been?

    Like

  12. “I have to ask my wife.” NOBODY liked that??? Are you KIDDING ME???
    I am WASTED on you people…

    Like

  13. Sadie misses her sweet cat, but the current chapter features a dog and she's sweet, too, although not as entertaining as Furry's singing dog. says:

    Siren, you must check out the adorable cats on Another Unruly-Haired Person’s blog. They would make a cat lover out of anyone, even Hulk.

    Like

  14. My husband and son are the main cooks in the family! My daughter and I are usually on clean-up detail. And actually those aren’t all leftovers as the two red ones are tomato sauce.
    Sadie, I WISH I were as neatly stacked as my leftovers.
    I know you can get penis-shaped pasta and penis-shaped candies but I’m not sure if you can get dog testicle-shaped pasta … never mind, the thought of that just made me sick.

    Like

  15. My husband and son are the main cooks in the family! My daughter and I are usually on clean-up detail. And actually those aren’t all leftovers as the two red ones are tomato sauce.
    Sadie, I WISH I were as neatly stacked as my leftovers.
    I know you can get penis-shaped pasta and penis-shaped candies but I’m not sure if you can get dog testicle-shaped pasta … never mind, the thought of that just made me sick.

    Like

  16. My husband and son are the main cooks in the family! My daughter and I are usually on clean-up detail. And actually those aren’t all leftovers as the two red ones are tomato sauce.
    Sadie, I WISH I were as neatly stacked as my leftovers.
    I know you can get penis-shaped pasta and penis-shaped candies but I’m not sure if you can get dog testicle-shaped pasta … never mind, the thought of that just made me sick.

    Like

  17. Oh my god, Helen, for real? That’s a real game?
    Is there a way to make a link to one particular comment? That explanation of the “Keep Yer Balls” game has given me some serious food for thought and I want to be able to put a direct link to it in my blog.

    Like

  18. I was admitting that I had really outkicked my coverage, as Hulk suggested, when I married up. Thus the two punter references.
    I played soccer, not football, so I guess I could have used Pele somehow.
    Beth’s doppelganger, Brth, was a cheerleader, but she had to change it when she crossed over to my side of the tracks.

    Like

Comments are closed.