My magnetic personality

The Nester says you shouldn't have refrigerator magnets because they're tacky. So I mostly listened to her and have had a nearly blank (for me) fridge. But yesterday Marvin was packing and he said, "Look what's in this tin!"

There were all sorts of magnets I had packed away. I dumped out that tin and culled through everything. Yes, I am still using the word "culled" today.

Not only was I trying to be untacky per The Nester, but I also had to remove some of my fridge stuff to make room for Marvin's. Since the day I moved in with him in 1997, I have had the logo of some long-defunct FM radio station in LA on my fridge. It was a black-and-yellow magnet.

Today I threw it on his pile of stuff to go. "You want this?" I said. "Oh, YES!" he exclaimed, as if he'd almost forgotten his spleen.

Here's some stuff I put back up today, on my fridge. You know, after the culling.

I put up the photo of my Aunt Mary and me at the garlic festival, wearing, yes, garlic hats. We are held up by the ludicrous leiderhosen boy from Frankenmuth, Michigan, who is similarly holding up my aura picture. It's a shame how leiderhosen boy has a big piece of white poop on his head. Or maybe he, too, has on a garlic hat.

He looks a little like a leiderhosen blow-up doll, now that I'm concentrating on him.

When I moved to Seattle, I was obsessed with how much I hearted it. Here is one of many tacky Seattle magnets I had put away until now. It is holding up a photo of Uncle Jim, mom, Aunt Kathy and my tall Uncle John.

Am cracking self up that when I wrote "Aunt Kathy" I linked to her Betty Fart story.

See? Another magnet from Seattle. And that one is FILTHY. Must go wash it.

Some day I wish to win an award for Best Photography Blog. Anyway, this is my favorite photo of my grandfather and me, shucking corn. It is held up by a Susan magnet. Susan was Laura Ingalls' cat. I understand that I am a freak and it is no wonder I could not keep a man.

Above the corn photo is a cute one of Talu and me. I am the one wearing shoes.

Okay, I GOT UP and took a new one of us shucking corn. I mean, I did not go back in time, put on that Ruth Buzzy sundress and have this photo taken all over again. I went back to the fridge and took another shot. Got me a nice bottle of water, too.

These were the first three magnets I ever bought, for my first apartment when I got my first job. My roommate worked for some bath store: Bath & Body Works or Oh! I remember! He worked at Linens Ampersand Things. I just remembered that because that's what I'd call it. I would say the word "ampersand" and think I was hilarious. He said things like "kitchen linens" instead of towels because apparently that was the lingo.

Anyway, I think we got a discount on these; I thought the beehive was a hoot. I have been lugging these magnets around with me from Saginaw, Michigan to Seattle, then to LA, then to TinyTown, then to here.

I act like magnets are so hard to move around. "Lugging."

Here's some photo booth picture of me from God knows when. Note that it, too, is filthy. And held up by a cat magnet. A cat magnet is a person who makes a lot of money from cats. BAHAHAHAA. If there were such a thing I would be a millionaire by now.

Highschool And finally, here is a picture of me from high school, with our senior class president trying to lift my dress, and our vice president licking me. Nice. Proud. I never appreciated that that vice president was really cute until after high school, and now he lives in some other country and has a fabulous life.


And I'm sorry. I really tried to get a better image for you, but on my ring finger, there, is my nice class ring, which is probably why I was bringing all the student government to the yard.

So, Nester, my old pal, I apologize. My magnets are back up. I am not perfect and shiny and lacking in the tacky. I am messy and the opposite of minimal and sort of obnoxious. I know you love me anyway.

And oh, it made me happy to get my magnets out of their cold dark tin and rock out with my leiderhosen out.

138 thoughts on “My magnetic personality

  1. I love your magnets. My grandma’s fridge was always covered in interesting magnets, and my sisters and I spent hours rearranging them and asking her to tell us about where she got them all.
    Most notably, she had one that said, “No bitchin’ in the kitchen” which I sounded out before they realized I could read well enough. I couldn’t figure out why my grandpa got such a funny look on his face, or why that magnet soon disappeared from the collection.


  2. In engineering school we always referred to it as “English” units as opposed to SI (metric). SI is an abbreviation for “International System” — but in French (that’s why it isn’t IS). Then the Brits have their own system which is a combo of the other two. SAE is the Society of Automotive Engineers, which sets a lot of international engineering standards. And that’s why things are sometimes referred to as “SAE units.”
    Because I know you’ve all been on the edges of your seats waiting for that. Now you may all rest peacefully tonight.


  3. I’m so looking forward to seeing your paint-by-numberses ๐Ÿ™‚ Such a cute idea! Also aren’t inches/feet imperial measurements? Don’t know what to call the cup system ๐Ÿ˜€


  4. I like that you are starting fresh again June.
    Currently, the soon to be ex cannot even agree on personal property division. Seriously. I could end up in court on the 21st and the judge flip a coin.
    Someone please give me a Valium.


  5. I’ve been out of the office all day, but when I came back I tried reading the comments and then tried reading and keeping up and following the comments and understanding them, and all I understand is that I don’t understand today’s comments. Clearly I AM the newbie.


  6. Oh, and to clear up Hans’ joke about the french and Lederhosenboy knowing french, in German, “French” stands for Oral Sex.


  7. Yes Hulk, you did spell “Kraut” right. And no, I will not be offended because it is you that said it and I will not yell at a Hulk and make him turn green and crazy ๐Ÿ™‚


  8. twoweeksminus2days…
    I am TOTALLY using that at the next meeting I’m at. Then I’m going to just laugh hysterically and leave the room…


  9. We use the Standard system which should be outlawed. The health industry constantly has to bounce between the two systems. Wonder why there are errors.


  10. Tools are either metric or SAE, but I don’t know what that stands for (standard American something?).


  11. I was going to tell Twelvedaysold that the magnet joke at the meeting made me laugh, but as I skimmed the comments I got lost in translation and, once again, confused. This place is over my head man. I also don’t understand the Metric System, nor do I even know the name for the other system that we so stubbornly use. The cup system? I not know.


  12. the only magnet i have on the fridge is a very industrial looking one that says “keep out”. it looks like they put it on in the factory and is an official part of the fridge. it helps to remind me not to open the door and look for deliciousness- it doesn’t work very well!
    remember to sell all the crap he leaves behind. have a yard sale or put it on craigslist. you might get a date/stalker out of the deal.
    i would be moving shit around like nobody’s business if my husband would only MOVE OUT!


  13. Cripes – I know y’all are talking about that Austr(al)ian cake recipe June and/or Mr. Marzipan won’t send me! Make no mention of me spending yet another entire morning in the ER – screw it: gimme butter!!


  14. Hulk (I have to use it in my (everyday) job every day because we ship things to, you know, the rest of the world...)

    Isn’t it sad the the entire world knows and uses the metric system except the US?


  15. Did I spell “krauts” right?
    I am not very practiced in racism…


  16. Did I spell “krauts” right?
    I am not very practiced in racism…


  17. Did I spell “krauts” right?
    I am not very practiced in racism…


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