In which June consumes butter pecan at a job interview

When I was 15 or 16, I went to visit my father in Dallas, and he took me to the studio where he worked as a photographer. His friends got me all dressed up in the fancy clothes and jewelry there, and his model friend did my makeup, and his photographer best friend took these pictures of me. I just found them last night when I was looking for something work-related:

Junelovesherselflongtime
You can click on this sheet to see these photos better, if you want. But suffice it to say if was way fun. It was like Glamour Shots without having to go to the mall.

Starq And as you know, I wasn't in love with myself in my teen years or anything. So I was super-shy about the whole thing. See: hah.

I wonder if there was a whole I Hate June club in my high school or if it was less organized than that.

Anyway, my job discussion was fine. I had ice cream. Right in the middle of the time of my interview (job discussion) was ice-cream time, so they said, "Shall we all go get some?" and I said yes, and again. Why did I need larger pants at J. Jill? I think their pants run small.

After the butter pecan, they said they'd let me know in the next two weeks. Am I constantly waiting for Godot or what?

The job sounds really really cool. And it would be editing and copy editing, which I know means nothing to most of the world. But trust me. That would be excellent. Most excellent. Excellent-ay.

In the meanwhile, I have an all-day freelance job on Monday for a different place, so at least I do not have to sit here flapping up Talu's lips when I get bored. Oh, she hates that. I do it when she's asleep, when she's in the back yard surveying her domain on the deck, when she's watching the front yard from her perch on the couch. It does not matter where she is, she hates the flap anywhere I do it. And yet? Who can stop herself? Not me.

Did you ever watch that one show where people have a predilection for getting all up on animals you shouldn't? For example, there was the young woman who had like nine wolves in her house. Or the old lady who fed bears in her back yard. These stories always end with someone coming over to see why Bessie isn't showing up at work and all that is left of Bessie is a femur and maybe part of a nostril. This will be me after one lip-flap too many, over here.

I wanted to ask you something else deeply important. When you were a kid, did you ever tape music off the radio? Like, if I Just Wanna Be Your Everything came on, did you rush to your boom box to record the rest of it?

If you did, now when you hear, let's say, I Just Wanna Be Your Everything, do you automatically start singing the song that came right after it on your tape? Like for me, right after that, Ring My Bell came on and I snapped off the Record button after maybe the first five bars. So every time I Just Wanna Be Your Everything ends, I expect to hear:

 

But only that first annoying POOOOO! POOOOO! part.

Am I alone in this?

This is the problem with the youth of today. They do not have to WORK for their stolen music. They can just go online and get it. We had to sit there and listen to Kasey Kasem all morning. Is it Kasey or Casey?

Okay, I must go. In the first place, the dogs are barking terribly at these two Jehovah Witnesses who are walking the neighborhood. I know they are witnesses because they are already here and I have spoken to them. I invite any religious people in to talk because I figure it has to be a terrible task, going door to door and getting rejected all day. The last thing they probably wanted to do was enter this house o'fangs.

I did not ask them if they know Prince.

I will let you know if I become employed. You will be the first to hear.

Oh, and confidential to my Real Housewives friends: I think all the gay people of America should kick BOTH Sonja and Alex off their side. Who needs either one of those self-centered whoo-haas? And P.S. Simon's jacket. Enough said.

 

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

194 thoughts on “In which June consumes butter pecan at a job interview”

  1. I may be late to the party, but nice new pink header you’ve got there, and thatsa mighty fine glamour shot.
    Jump to the end… Sonia and Alex can both pound dirt (and probably do). I don’t even love to hate them. You hear me, you pudoosahs? Besides, I saw the promo for the return of those bad girls from Joizey. The Sopranos In Spikes. Can’t wait.

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  2. Maaaaaaaybe the ice cream event was a psychological test. Something about your personality was revealed by your choice in ice cream. Hmmmmm.

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  3. Maaaaaaaybe the ice cream event was a psychological test. Something about your personality was revealed by your choice in ice cream. Hmmmmm.

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  4. Maaaaaaaybe the ice cream event was a psychological test. Something about your personality was revealed by your choice in ice cream. Hmmmmm.

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  5. Amish, I had to Google the BGs to see what they looked like, it’s been that long ago. I have to say, man, those boys were hirsute and not afraid to show it. And I’m sorry to say that Mo does look like the second best-looking BeeGee, but I probably would have liked him best too. That’s just the way I swing.

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  6. PJ who still sings enc-yc-lo-pedia and accepts expressions of pity for having a bobbie pin holding her hair back from her face in her Glamour Shot. says:

    Certainly had a tape deck set up in front of the speaker on my little white plastic radio. And had to listen to The Farm Report every day at noon. Needed to know about those hog futures and the price of a bushel of corn. Had a used set of encyclopedias in THE LIVING ROOM because they were so revered in my family.
    A friend of the family took a glamor shot of me when I was in 7th grade. But it wasn’t very glamorous. I had a bobbie pin in my hair.
    Additionally in addition, during the first four months of driving to my first job out of college, the DJ played the same 8 songs in the same order every single ding dang day from 7:15 AM to 8:00 AM.
    Bill, Oh Bill!, One less bell to answer, one less egg to fry, Let it be him, oh let it be him…Every day when I got on the exit ramp she’d be wailing about Oh, Bill!

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  7. I just left my post-op checkup. He gave me two copies of photos of my fibroid. Other than the part where Siren gets a copy, should I put a pic on my blog?
    Sent from my iPhone

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  8. I also thought of Britney when I first looked at June’s gorgeousness, but thought it was just me.
    Yesterday, I had the skinny jean ad and today’s is Slimfast. No way could I work in an office where cake and ice cream were served on a regular basis. The entire paycheck would be spent on ever larger sized clothes.

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  9. I also thought of Britney when I first looked at June’s gorgeousness, but thought it was just me.
    Yesterday, I had the skinny jean ad and today’s is Slimfast. No way could I work in an office where cake and ice cream were served on a regular basis. The entire paycheck would be spent on ever larger sized clothes.

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  10. I also thought of Britney when I first looked at June’s gorgeousness, but thought it was just me.
    Yesterday, I had the skinny jean ad and today’s is Slimfast. No way could I work in an office where cake and ice cream were served on a regular basis. The entire paycheck would be spent on ever larger sized clothes.

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  11. Well of COURSE I taped songs off the radio. After calling the station to request them first and then being held hostage by the radio waiting for MY song to come on. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
    QueenStella, if you want some of Thing 1’s autographed 8×10 glossies to hand to the JW, let me know. I keep a supply on hand. When they hand me a Watchtower, they get a publicity photo of my kid in return. Autographed. It’s a Win Win for everyone.

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  12. Well of COURSE I taped songs off the radio. After calling the station to request them first and then being held hostage by the radio waiting for MY song to come on. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
    QueenStella, if you want some of Thing 1’s autographed 8×10 glossies to hand to the JW, let me know. I keep a supply on hand. When they hand me a Watchtower, they get a publicity photo of my kid in return. Autographed. It’s a Win Win for everyone.

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  13. Well of COURSE I taped songs off the radio. After calling the station to request them first and then being held hostage by the radio waiting for MY song to come on. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
    QueenStella, if you want some of Thing 1’s autographed 8×10 glossies to hand to the JW, let me know. I keep a supply on hand. When they hand me a Watchtower, they get a publicity photo of my kid in return. Autographed. It’s a Win Win for everyone.

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  14. I just got back from a nice nap and I don’t want to suggest I’ve been checking my email inbox in a frenzied obsessive way but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHERE IS THE FIBROID PICTURE?

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  15. Very pretty pictures, June. My first thought on seeing the pictures was a resemblance to Brittny, but I didn’t say so because I wasn’t sure anyone would think it was a compliment. In spite of whatever else her problems are, Brittny is pretty.
    We used to bring a cake in for everyone’s birthday, but the new person who was buying the cake had dietary issues.
    She came back with a flavorless, small, non-sweet cake. (I guess she didn’t know we were the eat-yourself-into-coma club.) She did the same when she ordered pizza. Her idea of portion size didn’t match the guys’.
    Somehow our traditions tapered off.

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  16. I hate Sonja… I couldn’t even watch Andy Cohen after….

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  17. I hate Sonja… I couldn’t even watch Andy Cohen after….

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  18. I hate Sonja… I couldn’t even watch Andy Cohen after….

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  19. I think I still have a cassette of songs taped from the radio, with commercials.
    Worse, I think I have tape of me and my best friend singing songs, breathing heavy into the microphone because we thought it was awesome. Oh, I cringe.
    PS I love getting Talu links on Facebook so I can read on my little phone, but then I’m sad when I come home and I’ve already read so there’s no happy June blog waiting for me.

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  20. Oh yeah. Please post a picture of THAT…

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  21. Oh yeah. Please post a picture of THAT…

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  22. Oh yeah. Please post a picture of THAT…

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  23. Three, one for each child. Actually, I only have two since my sister’s friend has one of my placenta portraits. We thought we’d mess with him and stuck it into a pile of pictures, but i forgot what a weirdo he is and when he got to that pic, he asked me if he could keep it. As far as I know, my placenta is still on his refrigerator in Alaska.
    That could be the oddest sentence I’ve ever uttered.

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  24. Also, I scanned my pretty polyp pic for Siren, and my neighbor Peg came over unannounced, and so far this is a pretty alliterative post, and anyway my polyp was TOTALLY SITTING on the dining room table while we were talking. I had to flip it over nonchalantly. 

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  25. The polyp IS pretty! It looks like a lovely red planet, and also sort of like the thing that came out of the guy’s chest in the Sigourney Weaver movie.

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  26. Glad your job interview went well (and, bonus: ice cream!).
    Your glamour shots are very glamorous, but I don’t understand why you are kind of see-through, like a ghost caught on film by one of those poltergeist-chasing people.
    I’m totally from the same generation and I totally did the same taping thing from the radio, and I *totally* have the same issue, where I automatically hear/sing what comes next on the tape.

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  27. *but I don’t understand why you are kind of see-through, like a ghost caught on film by one of those poltergeist-chasing people.*
    June is gossamer…
    Does anyone else feel like we need a baseball announcer or an auctioneer here when things heat up to fever pitch? To call the plays for June’s Goons?

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  28. wow Juney, you were a teen super model…that looks like a Cosmo shoot. And I do agree with the comment (somewhere above) that you do resemble Brittney Spears, except your photos show a lovelier version.

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  29. Well, June, Chrissy, Original Joann, and Lisa Pie, my mom came from WWII Berlin. Forget, clothes – or the lack of them. You should have seen what we ate.
    As to pictures, I don’t think there are any in existence.
    Thank goodness.

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  30. Once I took a picture of the record album of Shawn Cassidy so I could have a “real” picture of him, like I actually met him or something. I took it with a camera with film, even. I thought I was so cool to have a pic of Shawn Cassidy. What a dork.
    And I love me the disco, the precursor to HOUSE MUSIC!

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  31. PJ who loves this hi-larious blog best of all but doesn't know a single person she can recommend it to . says:

    You know, I just clicked back on to catch up on comments and the design of the page really hit me for the first time. I mean I SAW it. Anyway (I know you all love that word), anyway, it looks like it is going to be such a sweet Susie Homemaker kind of blog. Kind of proper and polite and gentle and…um, it’s not, is it?
    At least Siren’s starts out with the message that you might want to just move along now. June’s just kind of blindsides you.

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  32. Wow, I’m late today due to TORNADOS – HEADING YOUR WAY!!!!! (according to our weather man who seems to need to stop drinking caffeine) and there are glamour shots, polyps, disco; what more could one want? Mercifally I have gotten rid of my tapes that included poorly recorded music from the radio along with my warbly voice. I do, however, have some discco music on my iPhone that I listen to regularly at work to get me through the afternoon. And I also slept outside of our civic center one night to get me some BeeGee tickets – oh yes I did.

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  33. a) WAITING FOR GODOT!! i love it whenever ANYONE references that play 🙂 [not that you care, but my own godot reference here: http://mylifeasprose.blogspot.com/2011/02/where-i-was-baltimore.html%5D
    b) i am in my 20s and i definitely recorded mix tapes off the radio. and when i hear those songs now, i NEVER recognize them until 30 seconds in, because, well, they weren’t on my tape.
    c) i am really hoping you get the job. things that make you happy make the rest of us happy. but it can’t be TOO perfect of a job… we still need blog fodder 🙂 [that is, unless you’re still entertaining the idea of online dating…]

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  34. Amish Annie is transported back 30 years, laying on a blanket under the hot, hot sun with that lovely, safe 1970's sunblock called baby oil, listening to sexy summer Stewart music says:

    If ya want my body and ya think I’m sexy, c’mon baby let me know.
    Carol from Bama, Maurice or Barry? Be honest now.

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  35. I’ve been away for a few days and am so out of the loop.
    In other news, I got a spray tan today and look redunkulous! My baby splashed water on me when I was giving her a bath & now I have white dots all over my arms.
    I hope you get the job, June! And yes to posting the picture.

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  36. I hope y’all realize these are the best comments on the entire internet. Seriously.

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  37. I hope y’all realize these are the best comments on the entire internet. Seriously.

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  38. I hope y’all realize these are the best comments on the entire internet. Seriously.

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  39. Amish Annie – Maurice all the way! And did you mix iodine in with your baby oil?

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  40. For Paula H&B:
    Seen on one of my daughter’s friends Facebook page.
    Reply to St Paul from the Corinthians:
    “Dear “Saint” Paul,
    F*** off.”

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  41. Nicola: Heeeeeeeeeeeeee! Never heard about that at church!!

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  42. Nicola: Heeeeeeeeeeeeee! Never heard about that at church!!

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  43. Nicola: Heeeeeeeeeeeeee! Never heard about that at church!!

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  44. Amish Annie is NOT going to stalk Carol from Bama now, I'm JUST kidding. Unless you want to do those things Carol. KIDDING. says:

    AHA; I AM VINDICATED! Wait, I have to stop and look up that word and make sure I’m using the right word.
    AAAAAND YESSS, I USED THE RIGHT WORD! VINDICATED! I am no longer the only one who thinks Mo is the hottest; I KNEW there were more of us out there.
    Carol from Bama, wanna be best friends? Wanna start a new Mo fan page? Let’s hang out and have sleepovers. I have lots of Bee Gee albums and an album cover only of Rod Stewart cuz I lost the album but we could play those at the sleepover. We’ll lay out in the sun (iodine?), steal liquor out of the house and we can go on vacation together. When we get old, we’ll live in senior housing together. Pinky pact?

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  45. Amish Annie is NOT going to stalk Carol from Bama now, I'm JUST kidding. Unless you want to do those things Carol. KIDDING. says:

    AHA; I AM VINDICATED! Wait, I have to stop and look up that word and make sure I’m using the right word.
    AAAAAND YESSS, I USED THE RIGHT WORD! VINDICATED! I am no longer the only one who thinks Mo is the hottest; I KNEW there were more of us out there.
    Carol from Bama, wanna be best friends? Wanna start a new Mo fan page? Let’s hang out and have sleepovers. I have lots of Bee Gee albums and an album cover only of Rod Stewart cuz I lost the album but we could play those at the sleepover. We’ll lay out in the sun (iodine?), steal liquor out of the house and we can go on vacation together. When we get old, we’ll live in senior housing together. Pinky pact?

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  46. Amish Annie is NOT going to stalk Carol from Bama now, I'm JUST kidding. Unless you want to do those things Carol. KIDDING. says:

    AHA; I AM VINDICATED! Wait, I have to stop and look up that word and make sure I’m using the right word.
    AAAAAND YESSS, I USED THE RIGHT WORD! VINDICATED! I am no longer the only one who thinks Mo is the hottest; I KNEW there were more of us out there.
    Carol from Bama, wanna be best friends? Wanna start a new Mo fan page? Let’s hang out and have sleepovers. I have lots of Bee Gee albums and an album cover only of Rod Stewart cuz I lost the album but we could play those at the sleepover. We’ll lay out in the sun (iodine?), steal liquor out of the house and we can go on vacation together. When we get old, we’ll live in senior housing together. Pinky pact?

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  47. Damn. I missed a lot yesterday. I feel so out of touch. Like I’ve been gone for weeks. Aack!

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  48. We totally used the baby oil with the iodine! I have NO idea what the iodine was supposed to do except add red color.
    And, seriously? Fay up there is totally right. There is NO WHERE on the internet that you can find the line of comments like this bunch! Holy moly.
    Glamour shots for the fibroid? DYING!
    Placental portraits? GOOD GOD!
    Oozy scab? ACK!
    And then the Bee Gees and disco.
    See how it all fits so nicely?

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