Forgetting 38 Pounds

Oh, thank all that is holy and merciful: I just checked my cash sitchyachun, and my two Unemployment checks were put in my account overnight and I am RICH again! Yay!

What a relief. At least they act quickly once you talk to them. And they’re always pleasant. You’d think they might be, you know, cranky. Considering who they’re dealing with all day. Tense unemployed people. But they are always nice.

In other news, here is Edsel:

Mred why dis gras in such bad shaype, mom? why it not perfect like you uncle jym’s gras? why you not inherit his perfect gras technique? why you show edsul you middle finger?

I realize showing you a photo of Edsel is not really news, per se, as I show you photos of him 9 million times a week, but my point is, a few weeks back, Edsel was lucky enough to receive a lovely collar FROM AUSTRALIA. For heaven’s sake.

E why edsul get giffs from other side of wurld? mom blog not that interstin.

The thing was, when he first got it, it was way big, but I loved it so much I put it on him anyway. Then every 10 seconds, I would say, “Grow your neck, Edsel!” which I’m sure isn’t annoying to hear. Or anything.

But I was looking at him this week, and that collar seemed less slippy. And I realized I hadn’t weighed him in awhile. Do you know our Edsel has gained four puppy pounds in the last few weeks? I thought he was stuck at 38 measly pounds for the rest of time. He is taller and longer than Tallulah and weighs way less.

Chunkylu that fassnating news. it becase edsul kwite skinny. have nothing to do with talu waite. talu perfect proportion. talu hips SUPPOSED to be like dis. her breed famus for dees hips. …lu embrase her curbs. okay?

Fran #%@& litewaits. both a ya. you wanna eatin’ contest? i’ll give ya a eatin’ contest.

All right. I must go. I am getting a statistics textbook today that I must proofread, so I have to go to Office Depot and get some White-Out pens. I know! The excitement never stops, over here.

Last night Forgetting Sarah Marshall was on TV and I have never seen it. No one ever told me that movie was hilarious. I am certain it would be funnier if it weren’t edited to bits. Every time they said “asshole” it got changed to “rascal.” “You’re such a rascal!” All of a sudden everyone was 86 years old.

Okay, this rashole is out of here.

117 thoughts on “Forgetting 38 Pounds

  1. Russel Brand is a riot. I agree, look up an interview. He did one recently on Conan that was pretty funny. The only thing that bothers me is that I wish he would SIT UP in the chair, instead of sprawling all over the place.
    I took my 8 year-old to see HOP recently, and it was one of the few animated movies in the last 10 years I actually enjoyed. It didn’t hurt that Hugh Laurie was the voice of EB’s (voice of Russel) dad.

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  2. Love Ed’s ears! And that face on Francis–the intensity of the stare and the head cocked to the side suggest he just asked “are you ready for me to kick your ass now?”
    Regarding peen on screen: a completely not subtle example and really, I should have expected it based on the title alone, was in Walk Hard-The Dewey Cox Story (w/John C. Reilly). I’m still a little traumatized, primarily because I didn’t expect it. Just glad I didn’t see it in theater. Also, I’m afraid to know what else is in the unrated version.

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  3. I’m constantly surprised by how much I love Russell Brand. He’s not the kind of guy I find hot but I wish I was rock and roll enough to be friends with him and Katy Perry.
    Also I’ve been at a party where we hired a male stripper for the birthday girl. He was a serious act but had -15 sexy points when he got his junk out and started thrusting but we all felt it was worth the money for her comic/horrified face when she was pretty much trapped in her chair by it.

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  4. Hulk, the Barry Gibb talk show, killed me dead. Jimmy Fallon and Justin, too funny.
    Jimmy makes a much better Barry than Barry. Sorry, June.

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  5. Duffypie, your son handled that superbly, exactly how a robbery victim should react. Oh, it just gave me chills, especially after what happened to our daughter last week.
    And speaking of, that daughter just called, shocked. She’d looked at her paycheck stub and said, “Mom, what is with these taxes they’ve taken out of my paycheck? Are they just allowed to take my money like that?” Ahhh, to be young again.
    That Edsel just gets cuter by the day and Lu and her curves are glorious.
    I think Russel Brand is a hottie, mainly because of his personality.
    I have not seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall, so I cannot weigh in, but if you’ll excuse me I have much to google now.

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  6. Duffypie, very scary, and your son did great. Did he have aftermath issues? Way back, I was a bank teller, and was robbed at gunpoint. The robber made everyone else lie on the floor. It was his first robbery, and he left and got out in Friday afternoon traffic, so they cops nailed him within 2 miles and got all the money back. I was in balance at the end of the day, and just grateful that I didn’t faint or pee my pants. Had me some nightmares for a while though.

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  7. I think that video was from the second robbery. It might have been old hat to him by then. Actually, he had just made a safe drop five minutes before, so the thief probably got less than fifty dollars.
    Dan went to pick up the phone to call the police, then remembered he had to follow protocol and lock the store first.
    This is one of the reason I shudder at the fact that all three of my kids work in retail in one form or another.

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  8. You MUST see the uncut version of Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I wasn’t expecting it to be nearly as hilarious as it was, I only saw it because I heart Jason Segal and Kristen Bell. I had never even heard of Russell Brand till that movie.
    (Also, I wasn’t expecting the nudity, but it was possibly the funniest part of the movie. I think they edited it down for the theatre, the DVD version has longer nude shots. Like, to the point where you get past the funny into the uncomfortable and then back to funny again longer.)

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  9. Wow your crime experiences sound so scary! I’m so impressed with how calm he looks in that CCTV Duffypie, he would have needed a telling off if he’d tried to risk himself for a corporation’s petty till-cash.
    Since I’m still a student I don’t pay tax and I have a government loan for my living expenses. Now that all my friends who did sensible degree are hardworking taxpayers I get a lot of “you’re welcome for that meal, Nif!” comments when I hand my loan cash over for my part of the bill 🙂 Yay for no taxes yet!

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  10. And I’m posting this simply because I’m mortified that I have not added a Pie to my name, even though June Has Spoken.

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  11. OMG Mrs. Oh, that’s horrible. I guess I don’t understand the vicious nature of some people. Is it in the genes or in the environment?

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  12. Several thoughts…
    Yes, Russell Brand is dirty. In such a good way. I would do him in the road.
    Similarly I would also do Jimmy Fallon in the road. Apparently if a man has the humor, he can get into my pants.

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  13. First– June your animals are the cutest things ever!
    Barry Gibbs Talk Show, so ding dang funny. Viggo Mortenson-YUMMY!
    Russell Brand not so sure about. I agree with the kinda dirty looking comments. I haven’t seen him in a movie yet.
    Duffylou Pie- very brave son. I know you were dying!
    I think that just about covers it so far.

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  14. Amish Pie wonders where Jan was when we hijacked the comments and turned them into a jukebox at a dive bar called the Chicken Coop. says:

    DuffyPie, you seem to have some really great kids.
    Letha Pie, I have a lisp and if I said Lisa Pie when I was tired, it would definitely sound like Letha Pie. But LethaT Pie would sound like it’s spelled.
    Mrs. Oh, your husband sounds like a very brave man.
    Th captions under the animals are freaking hilarious!

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  15. Amish, you have a mind like a steel trap…LethaT pie it is! And ALSO, for all of my life people have kindly overlooked my lisp when I introduce myself as Letha…they insist on calling me Lisa. Also, there’s the *Oh, it’s LeTHA…you must be lethal…Guffaw!* These days I answer to almost anything that starts with an L.

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  16. Did Edsel lose his teefs? Where are his teefs?
    I think Fran looks very happy and content…Is it the rabbit food?
    Lu, you are beautiful.

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  17. I love your furry family. And your Pie family.
    Off to Google Russell Brand. I truly must get out more, at least to my local Redbox.

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  18. Janny Pie,
    I get the humor appeal, I do. Smart and funny totally equals sexy and hot. But what worries me is why you only want to do these men in the road. Come inside, hon, there’s less gravel.

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  19. Janny Pie,
    I get the humor appeal, I do. Smart and funny totally equals sexy and hot. But what worries me is why you only want to do these men in the road. Come inside, hon, there’s less gravel.

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  20. Janny Pie,
    I get the humor appeal, I do. Smart and funny totally equals sexy and hot. But what worries me is why you only want to do these men in the road. Come inside, hon, there’s less gravel.

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  21. Just checking in to say today is court day. Won’t you all be relieved that I will stop counting down the days until my divorce? Prayers appreciated. Next time we chat I’ll be a single woman.
    P.s. Love Fran

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  22. YKWIA, here’s the wish that today is a Good Day for you.
    And you’ll get a kick out of this: I’m not the sharpest crayon in the box sometimes and it took me FOREVER to figure out “YKWIA.” I was pronouncing it as “YaKweeAh” and thinking, “What kind of name is THAT?” And then one day, the lightbulb went off and I was all, “Oh. DUH!”
    Yeah.

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  23. Let’s hear it for being single! YKWIA~ thinking of you.
    @Paula and Furry~ I am almost afraid to see the movie of The Help because I don’t want to have to actually see the pie. Even if they don’t show the deed, I’ll know.
    Why the road? ‘Cuz it’s dirty like Russel…

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  24. Sadie Pie is one dense pie. Don't feel bad Kelly Pie because I thought we had two readers going to court this week. Didn't realize that YKWIA Pie and You Know Who I Am Pie were one and the same. says:

    YKWIA Pie, sending best wishes that all will go well for you in court today. I’ll echo Furry Pie’s sentiments that this too shall pass and things are better on the other side.

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  25. Sadie Pie is one dense pie. Don't feel bad Kelly Pie because I thought we had two readers going to court this week. Didn't realize that YKWIA Pie and You Know Who I Am Pie were one and the same. says:

    YKWIA Pie, sending best wishes that all will go well for you in court today. I’ll echo Furry Pie’s sentiments that this too shall pass and things are better on the other side.

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  26. Sadie Pie is one dense pie. Don't feel bad Kelly Pie because I thought we had two readers going to court this week. Didn't realize that YKWIA Pie and You Know Who I Am Pie were one and the same. says:

    YKWIA Pie, sending best wishes that all will go well for you in court today. I’ll echo Furry Pie’s sentiments that this too shall pass and things are better on the other side.

    Like

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