June's stupid life · Money · My pets

Forgetting 38 Pounds

Oh, thank all that is holy and merciful: I just checked my cash sitchyachun, and my two Unemployment checks were put in my account overnight and I am RICH again! Yay!

What a relief. At least they act quickly once you talk to them. And they’re always pleasant. You’d think they might be, you know, cranky. Considering who they’re dealing with all day. Tense unemployed people. But they are always nice.

In other news, here is Edsel:

Mred why dis gras in such bad shaype, mom? why it not perfect like you uncle jym’s gras? why you not inherit his perfect gras technique? why you show edsul you middle finger?

I realize showing you a photo of Edsel is not really news, per se, as I show you photos of him 9 million times a week, but my point is, a few weeks back, Edsel was lucky enough to receive a lovely collar FROM AUSTRALIA. For heaven’s sake.

E why edsul get giffs from other side of wurld? mom blog not that interstin.

The thing was, when he first got it, it was way big, but I loved it so much I put it on him anyway. Then every 10 seconds, I would say, “Grow your neck, Edsel!” which I’m sure isn’t annoying to hear. Or anything.

But I was looking at him this week, and that collar seemed less slippy. And I realized I hadn’t weighed him in awhile. Do you know our Edsel has gained four puppy pounds in the last few weeks? I thought he was stuck at 38 measly pounds for the rest of time. He is taller and longer than Tallulah and weighs way less.

Chunkylu that fassnating news. it becase edsul kwite skinny. have nothing to do with talu waite. talu perfect proportion. talu hips SUPPOSED to be like dis. her breed famus for dees hips. …lu embrase her curbs. okay?

Fran #%@& litewaits. both a ya. you wanna eatin’ contest? i’ll give ya a eatin’ contest.

All right. I must go. I am getting a statistics textbook today that I must proofread, so I have to go to Office Depot and get some White-Out pens. I know! The excitement never stops, over here.

Last night Forgetting Sarah Marshall was on TV and I have never seen it. No one ever told me that movie was hilarious. I am certain it would be funnier if it weren’t edited to bits. Every time they said “asshole” it got changed to “rascal.” “You’re such a rascal!” All of a sudden everyone was 86 years old.

Okay, this rashole is out of here.

117 thoughts on “Forgetting 38 Pounds

  1. Sadie Pie is one dense pie. Don't feel bad Kelly Pie because I thought we had two readers going to court this week. Didn't realize that YKWIA Pie and You Know Who I Am Pie were one and the same. says:

    YKWIA Pie, sending best wishes that all will go well for you in court today. I’ll echo Furry Pie’s sentiments that this too shall pass and things are better on the other side.

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  2. Sadie Pie is one dense pie. Don't feel bad Kelly Pie because I thought we had two readers going to court this week. Didn't realize that YKWIA Pie and You Know Who I Am Pie were one and the same. says:

    YKWIA Pie, sending best wishes that all will go well for you in court today. I’ll echo Furry Pie’s sentiments that this too shall pass and things are better on the other side.

    Like

  3. Sadie Pie is one dense pie. Don't feel bad Kelly Pie because I thought we had two readers going to court this week. Didn't realize that YKWIA Pie and You Know Who I Am Pie were one and the same. says:

    YKWIA Pie, sending best wishes that all will go well for you in court today. I’ll echo Furry Pie’s sentiments that this too shall pass and things are better on the other side.

    Like

  4. Let’s hear it for being single! YKWIA~ thinking of you.
    @Paula and Furry~ I am almost afraid to see the movie of The Help because I don’t want to have to actually see the pie. Even if they don’t show the deed, I’ll know.
    Why the road? ‘Cuz it’s dirty like Russel…

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  5. YKWIA, here’s the wish that today is a Good Day for you.
    And you’ll get a kick out of this: I’m not the sharpest crayon in the box sometimes and it took me FOREVER to figure out “YKWIA.” I was pronouncing it as “YaKweeAh” and thinking, “What kind of name is THAT?” And then one day, the lightbulb went off and I was all, “Oh. DUH!”
    Yeah.

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