My Little Chickadee

Yesterday the phone rang in Massachusetts.

"Hello?" said my Pal from MA, who is the more normal of the two of us. Which, let's face it, is not that ringing of an endorsement of her normalness.

"Can you hear me?" I whispered.

"Yes," said Pal wearily. We have been friends since we were toddlers.

Pal[Then] (Why I always gotta have the stupid hair?)

Queen [Now.] (Why Pal always gotta have a crown? Actually that was my crown. I made her put it on.)

"There are BIRDS building a NEST in that BIRD HOUSE I bought for seven dollars!" I hissed.

"Oh, that IS exciting," Pal said. She is as ludicrous as me about animal things. I think it's because we spent every second of our formative years together.

"I hung the stupid thing right outside the living room window and I never thought anyone would use it because it was too close to people. But THERE THEY ARE! This is the best week EVER! The wedding, a bird's nest!"

At this point my whisper was kind of a scrape-y scream. Which I'm certain was pleasant to listen to.

"What kind of birds?" asked Pal, who was a whale researcher for 18 years and knows about nature-y things.

"Well, they have black heads, then white like mullets on the side, and black bow ties–"

"Chickadees," she said matter-of-factly.

And you know she was right? I researched it on Google, when I was supposed to be proofreading statistics, and it turns out Chickadees form about four potential nests, then decide on their final nesting place. I have named the mom and the dad, who have been flying back and forth to my little birdhouse like banshees, Chick Korea (dad) and Chick-Fil-A.

Korea Chick Korea, who I photographed from my couch, where I was glued for 97 hours yesterday, resulting in me having to proofread till 1 a.m. Because I have priorities.

Who wants to win the contest so bad? Oh, I want them to pick my nest. Edsel tore up yet another pillow, so I had some stuffing, and I oh-so-casually threw some out there yesterday in case they wanted to use it for their nest. I refilled the bird seed in the front yard feeder. I am trying to think of inviting music to play out the open window, where I continue to hiss into the phone whenever anyone calls.

"You know you can't go to your new job next week now," Pal told me.

"That's exactly what I was thinking!" I breathed. "I'm sure they'll understand. Oh, I could not be more excited if Barry Gibb stuck his head out that house hole."

"Maybe one of the babies will look like Barry Gibb," Pal offered. "He'll have on a white outfit, and a little beard."

"He'll tweet in British!" I screamed in a whisper.

So that is what is going on over here. If I could climb right in that bird house, I would. If I could invent some way to see in there, I would also do that. Chickadees usually lay six eggs, so if they pick my house (pick me! pick me! ohhhhhh, pick MEEEEEE!) I have to come up with six names for the babies. Does anyone remember back in 2007 when I had a bird's nest on my back porch in LA? At least I could SEE in that nest. This one has to remain a mystery.

Okay. Who's gonna call in sick for me my first week of work?

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

187 thoughts on “My Little Chickadee”

  1. For the record…
    I don’t begrudge any of you for being interested in this or even getting up at that ridiculous hour to watch it. I would probably wtach a Super Bowl if it came on that early…
    But I also get sick of all the hoopla surrounding the Super Bowl, so…

    Like

  2. For the record…
    I don’t begrudge any of you for being interested in this or even getting up at that ridiculous hour to watch it. I would probably wtach a Super Bowl if it came on that early…
    But I also get sick of all the hoopla surrounding the Super Bowl, so…

    Like

  3. For the record…
    I don’t begrudge any of you for being interested in this or even getting up at that ridiculous hour to watch it. I would probably wtach a Super Bowl if it came on that early…
    But I also get sick of all the hoopla surrounding the Super Bowl, so…

    Like

  4. Well, Hulk, it could be a historical event, because we will be watching the future King of England marry the future Queen of England.
    Oh, believe me, Ol’ Chuck is a douchebag. (Paula H&B took the words right out of my mouth.” He doesn’t get off scot-free. Jackass. Dillweed. Douchebag. Take your pick. He wore cufflinks, on his WEDDING DAY, that Camilla gave him. He’s lucky he didn’t marry me. Which well, ew. I was only 8 when they married, but, he would be walking around with less equipment than what he had when he was born.
    AND HULK!!!!!!!!!!!! TAKE IT BACK. TAKE IT BACK RIGHT NOW. OR I WILL COERCE JUNE INTO GIVING ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER. Take back what you said about PRINCE WILLIAM having an affair on lovely PRINCESS KATE. Damn you. TAKE IT BACK. Or you will hear from my cheery ass at 4am, central time, tomorrow!

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  5. Oh and Siren… you are not off the hook… I know you make squee noises and talk baby talk and probably make kissey faces at your birdies. You’re not fooling me.

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  6. Historical event…I’ll bet my last paycheck that the question, “What was the date of William and Kate’s wedding” will NEVER be on a history exam…
    except MAYBE for extra credit…

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  7. Historical event…I’ll bet my last paycheck that the question, “What was the date of William and Kate’s wedding” will NEVER be on a history exam…
    except MAYBE for extra credit…

    Like

  8. Historical event…I’ll bet my last paycheck that the question, “What was the date of William and Kate’s wedding” will NEVER be on a history exam…
    except MAYBE for extra credit…

    Like

  9. Amish Annie, seriously, would YOU want to have sex with that old coot? Diana was better than that. It's total-a** gross to think Diana felt obligated to, you know, do it with him. Total disgusting. P.S. Ima gonna go hide from Jan now. says:

    Siren, dammit, are your evil thoughts that you convey to those sweet birdies while they’re perched on your palm along the lines of “Good morning sweet baby boo-boo’s. I’ve missed you. I yyyuuuuuuuvvv you. C’mere, give me kissies. You so pretty. I give you hugs now. Lots of sweet hugs and kissies for precious babies. Smoochy-smooch, who loves her boo-boo bears?”
    Uh Siren, dammit, I think you’re young enough, you could probably kick my old a** to the next county and back, so I will further refrain from sharing additional Siren/Birdie dialogue.
    Okay, I’m confident enough here to go on the record and say that I think Camilla and Douchebag are a real love story. DON’T HATE ME! I thought Diana was awesome, she just wasn’t meant to be in that f’d-up family. Douchebag was always ugly and arrogant and Diana was so pretty and sweet. I got nothing against Camilla, I think she’s probably an okay lady. And I doubt Diana ever loved Douchey.

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  10. Amish Annie, seriously, would YOU want to have sex with that old coot? Diana was better than that. It's total-a** gross to think Diana felt obligated to, you know, do it with him. Total disgusting. P.S. Ima gonna go hide from Jan now. says:

    Siren, dammit, are your evil thoughts that you convey to those sweet birdies while they’re perched on your palm along the lines of “Good morning sweet baby boo-boo’s. I’ve missed you. I yyyuuuuuuuvvv you. C’mere, give me kissies. You so pretty. I give you hugs now. Lots of sweet hugs and kissies for precious babies. Smoochy-smooch, who loves her boo-boo bears?”
    Uh Siren, dammit, I think you’re young enough, you could probably kick my old a** to the next county and back, so I will further refrain from sharing additional Siren/Birdie dialogue.
    Okay, I’m confident enough here to go on the record and say that I think Camilla and Douchebag are a real love story. DON’T HATE ME! I thought Diana was awesome, she just wasn’t meant to be in that f’d-up family. Douchebag was always ugly and arrogant and Diana was so pretty and sweet. I got nothing against Camilla, I think she’s probably an okay lady. And I doubt Diana ever loved Douchey.

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  11. Amish Annie, seriously, would YOU want to have sex with that old coot? Diana was better than that. It's total-a** gross to think Diana felt obligated to, you know, do it with him. Total disgusting. P.S. Ima gonna go hide from Jan now. says:

    Siren, dammit, are your evil thoughts that you convey to those sweet birdies while they’re perched on your palm along the lines of “Good morning sweet baby boo-boo’s. I’ve missed you. I yyyuuuuuuuvvv you. C’mere, give me kissies. You so pretty. I give you hugs now. Lots of sweet hugs and kissies for precious babies. Smoochy-smooch, who loves her boo-boo bears?”
    Uh Siren, dammit, I think you’re young enough, you could probably kick my old a** to the next county and back, so I will further refrain from sharing additional Siren/Birdie dialogue.
    Okay, I’m confident enough here to go on the record and say that I think Camilla and Douchebag are a real love story. DON’T HATE ME! I thought Diana was awesome, she just wasn’t meant to be in that f’d-up family. Douchebag was always ugly and arrogant and Diana was so pretty and sweet. I got nothing against Camilla, I think she’s probably an okay lady. And I doubt Diana ever loved Douchey.

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  12. He wasnt an old coot when Diana married him and I do think she just adored him, the poor dear. Also, you are so dead when Siren reads this.
    Sent from my iPhone

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  13. *The following is posted simply to make June’s head fall clean off:*
    Besides, I’ve seen this Royal Wedding movie once. It ends in a tunnel…

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  14. *The following is posted simply to make June’s head fall clean off:*
    Besides, I’ve seen this Royal Wedding movie once. It ends in a tunnel…

    Like

  15. *The following is posted simply to make June’s head fall clean off:*
    Besides, I’ve seen this Royal Wedding movie once. It ends in a tunnel…

    Like

  16. First, Carol in BAMA – Yay! I’m so glad you and your family are safe. The devastation is unfathomable.
    C. I am not giving back my girl card, but I don’t understand all the hype of the wedding either.
    III. Jan, what would you do if one of your sisters or best friends declared their love for a married man?

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  17. Hulk, you are being a little poopy (heee), but I would also say AN historic whatever. Is that so wrong?
    Chickita Rivera

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  18. I can think of only one circumstance when I might talk that way to a bird. It would have to be a turkey I was talking to, and it would have to be around Thanksgiving, and my goal would be to nauseate it to death.

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  19. June, Are you wearing pj’s over to Peg’s?
    What are you two going to be eating? I would take the dogs along with you!

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  20. Thankful that Chuck and Camilla didn’t marry at a young age. Can you imagine the children those two would have produced??

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  21. Okay, that was, grammatically, AN ass-kicker, June.
    Sherry, I am seeing those foals of theirs now. (And by the way, June did not declaw Fran. RIGHT??)

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  22. Not to rain on anyone’s pooping parade, but it’s “Boop-oop-a-doop!” It’s Betty BOOP’s song after all.
    I love Chick Magnet as a baby name, but there have been other clever birdie names mentioned.
    Not too interested in the wedding biz, but I agree Camilla and Charles should have worked more on their marriages and less on maintaining their friendship/Affair.

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  23. I. I just was re-reading the comments because they are cracking me up and I think my spell check changed Camilla to Camille even though I think I spelled it Camilla the first time. Or it could have been a Freudian slip because I hate her so much I didn’t want to spell her name correctly.
    II. I am waiting in gleeful anticipation of Siren’s response to Amish Annie.
    III. I agree with June, I think Diana adored that jackass.
    IV. Duffylou… I have had some friends who are married and have cheated with single men and/or married men AND have had single friends who have been involved with married men. In a nutshell, I always express concern for their choices, offer support and worry about their well being. I always try to dissuade them from continuing the relationship.

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  24. Letha, finished the pinestraw project, and can now devote myself to (continue) commenting like an historical fool. says:

    ChickJoker
    ChickSmoker
    ChickMidnightToker

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  25. No one can see my comments? Really? Huh. I should try to figure out how to take advantage of this.
    Oh and by the way there is SO poop in that song. Even if you Boop-ize it. Even then it’s “Boo-POOPY-doo.” I cannot believe you people are overlooking the poop in this situation.

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  26. Thank you, Amish Annie. I had to stop, numerous times, while writing that to help my 9 year old with her effing science effing project that is about to make me tear my effing hair clean out of my effing head.
    That’s all Siren’s got??? I think this proves the squee, baby talk- voice theory.

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  27. No really Jan, I’m okay with the response. And I believe your squee, baby talk-voice theory is highly inaccurate. And wrong. And false. Erroneous. Untrue. Conjecture. Misinformed. Incorrect. Right Siren, right?

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  28. No really Jan, I’m okay with the response. And I believe your squee, baby talk-voice theory is highly inaccurate. And wrong. And false. Erroneous. Untrue. Conjecture. Misinformed. Incorrect. Right Siren, right?

    Like

  29. No really Jan, I’m okay with the response. And I believe your squee, baby talk-voice theory is highly inaccurate. And wrong. And false. Erroneous. Untrue. Conjecture. Misinformed. Incorrect. Right Siren, right?

    Like

  30. Amish Annie! Blink one for yes, twice for no. Is Siren there with you??? Is she forcing you to act contrite??? Is she talking to you in a baby talk???

    Like

  31. Letha, finished the pinestraw project, and can now devote myself to (continue) commenting like an historical fool. says:

    Siren, BBC America is a great idea, thanks! I just checked and they begin coverage at 3 am, with most other networks starting at 4.
    Chick’n’Little
    Chick-adelic

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  32. Letha, finished the pinestraw project, and can now devote myself to (continue) commenting like an historical fool. says:

    Chicka Khan
    Bill BeliChick
    I can’t seem to stop.

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  33. Back to the subject at hand…. birds, all done. Now, is the Queen going to make Wills a Duke or not? If so, Kathy will be a Duchese (or Da-cheese). If not, She will be Princess William Wales. Poor Kathy cannot keep her own name. Hmmmm…. royal schmoyal…

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  34. I commented on Siren’s blog the other day and I wrote “an URL.” I debated in my head if it should be AN or A and I chose AN and now I see I was wrong, a la AN historic and AN Hulk.
    Carp.

    Like

  35. I commented on Siren’s blog the other day and I wrote “an URL.” I debated in my head if it should be AN or A and I chose AN and now I see I was wrong, a la AN historic and AN Hulk.
    Carp.

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  36. I commented on Siren’s blog the other day and I wrote “an URL.” I debated in my head if it should be AN or A and I chose AN and now I see I was wrong, a la AN historic and AN Hulk.
    Carp.

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  37. Hulk, one more thing we have in common. I am, apparently, the only chick (see what I did there?) in the country who does not give a rat’s ass about the wedding. And I love Diana, but the fact is that Chuck loved Horse Face but the evil Queen wouldn’t let him marry her because she was a lowly commoner and made him marry Di. And everyone, including Di herself, knew it was an arranged marriage. So I actually feel really sorry for Horse Face and think Chucknshould have had the balls to stand up to the stupid Queen.

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  38. Oo-gah-chick-a.
    In this game I play, I have these five wolves and they all look alike and I have named all of them Bruce. I don’t see why you can’t name all the chickadees Bruce.

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  39. Letha, finished the pinestraw project, and can now devote myself to (continue) commenting like an historical fool. says:

    They are Extreme Couponers, too.

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  40. Zadge, I take offense. I still consider myself a chick,(I copied),and I can not believe the hype piled on to this wedding. The Today Show had Al Roker in the ‘London Bureau’ reporting this morning on the southern storm system in the US. Please tell me why there is a weatherman covering the royal wedding across the pond?

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  41. Zadge, I would totally do Harry in the road. MUCH better looking.
    Also, I also hope Charles never becomes king. I hope it passes right from the Queen to Wills.

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  42. I turned on CNN first thing this morning to check out what happened overnight in the south and what I got was royal wedding crap reporting. I had to do the unthinkable and turn to *gasp* Fox news which I have never had to do before and felt very dirty afterwards, just to get the 411 on the storms.

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  43. Jan, would you do Harry’s dad, that equestrian guy, in the road?

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  44. Jan, would you do Harry’s dad, that equestrian guy, in the road?

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  45. Jan, would you do Harry’s dad, that equestrian guy, in the road?

    Like

  46. I went back in time in your blog (I have no idea why. I just did, okay?) And you mentioned your hate for the term “Golden Lab.” You said there was no such thing. But what am I supposed to call my dog that is part golden Retriever and part yellow Lab? Huh? What?!

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  47. PJ First, Hulkapalooza isn't liked by spell check. II. Or maybe you'll just egg the car I'm sitting in. He sure didn't marry her for her prettiness, that's for sure. says:

    Because sticking my neck out is one of the things I do best because I’m not socially savey I will speak my truth. Loved Diana, but when I see Charles and Camilla together I, too, think love won out. I like to see them together. I am in a second marriage and this one has a lot of love in it. Diana didn’t deserve the life (or death) she got. But I don’t think Camilla deserves all the bile.
    There. Do I have to sit on the dunking platform at Hulkapalooza?
    And I’ll watch the fairy tale-ness wedding but I really feel sorry for Kate. I think they’ll make her miserable.

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  48. PJ First, Hulkapalooza isn't liked by spell check. II. Or maybe you'll just egg the car I'm sitting in. He sure didn't marry her for her prettiness, that's for sure. says:

    Because sticking my neck out is one of the things I do best because I’m not socially savey I will speak my truth. Loved Diana, but when I see Charles and Camilla together I, too, think love won out. I like to see them together. I am in a second marriage and this one has a lot of love in it. Diana didn’t deserve the life (or death) she got. But I don’t think Camilla deserves all the bile.
    There. Do I have to sit on the dunking platform at Hulkapalooza?
    And I’ll watch the fairy tale-ness wedding but I really feel sorry for Kate. I think they’ll make her miserable.

    Like

  49. PJ First, Hulkapalooza isn't liked by spell check. II. Or maybe you'll just egg the car I'm sitting in. He sure didn't marry her for her prettiness, that's for sure. says:

    Because sticking my neck out is one of the things I do best because I’m not socially savey I will speak my truth. Loved Diana, but when I see Charles and Camilla together I, too, think love won out. I like to see them together. I am in a second marriage and this one has a lot of love in it. Diana didn’t deserve the life (or death) she got. But I don’t think Camilla deserves all the bile.
    There. Do I have to sit on the dunking platform at Hulkapalooza?
    And I’ll watch the fairy tale-ness wedding but I really feel sorry for Kate. I think they’ll make her miserable.

    Like

  50. I am really enjoying reading everyone’s perception of the Charles/Di/Camilla legend. Each opinion seems valid. I don’t have a strong opinion (although it would be fun), because I don’t think anyone except those directly involved really have any clue as to what is true, or who loved who, or made who miserable. Very little in life is black and white, unless one is directly involved. I think the Royal family must have a difficult life that is never simple, so I am giving a pass to anyone who tries to do their best and be happy as well.

    Like

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