June 2 Love You

Somebody broke into my work email and sent all sorts of girl-on-girl action emails to my old bosses and such.

Nice. I am certain my conservative female choirmember ex-boss has always wanted to see Lez2LoveYou2, and now it has been added to her repertoire.

Can it live up to the original, is what all the critics are asking.

Also, I just went to the mailbox and had a check from my dad (thanks, dad) (I am 45 and getting checks from my dad), a freelance check, and a gift from one of my oldest friends. Don't you love good mail days?

She sent me a cookbook on how to eat clean, which I have been wanting, and also some soup recipes because of my whole can't-eat-soup-ack-MSG thing. I am a pain in the ass.

Speaking of ass, I am in love with Pippa, I have decided. I mean, I still love Kate more than anything on planet Earth, don't get me wrong, but Pippa rocked it yesterday, didn't she? Both that bridesmaid's dress and then the emerald evening reception dress. Pippa-middleton-2-300
Was she always hot? Did she just get hot for the wedding? Is Kate mad that Pippa stole the show? Do you think Pippa might want to star with me in Lez2LoveYou3?

She is rockin'. Crush on the Pippa. Do you think Harry did the walk of shame back to his room at the Marriott from Pippa's room this morning? Did they exchange embarrassed glances at the buffet room this a.m.?

I have to go. My new job starts in two days and I have done nothing but work on this book and watch this wedding and the house is a mess and I own approximately two items that are work-appropriate, so I must finish this stupid stupid stupid statistics textbook and head to the store to pick up worky clothes. And shoes. At my last job you could wear whatever you wanted so I bought 78 pair of silver flip-flops.

Not so much at this job.

Tomorrow I have an announcement to make this is kind of exciting. I want to wait one more day to make sure it is still going okay before I tell the world. I cannot keep it to myself any longer.

Comment of the week goes to a conversation between Amish Annie and that always-chipper Siren.

Love,

June Arthur Phillip Louweeee. Of Cambridge. Of the loving-Pippas Phillip Louwees of Cambridge.

107 thoughts on “June 2 Love You

  1. I just got some Skinnygirl Margarita mix, Paula H & B!! Speak of the devil! I do like me Bethenny a whole lot. She’s truly a funny gal!
    And, I have to admit. I caved. June called ME to see what it is I thought the surprise was and I was wrong. There’s that 10% uncertainty I was telling you about.
    Of course, I couldn’t wait until tomorrow to hear WHAT the big news was and it really is VERY exciting!

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  2. How is that Skinnygirl stuff? I’ve been dying to try it!
    What in the name of pluperfect Hell did Camilla wear to the reception? The royal muu-muu?

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  3. How is that Skinnygirl stuff? I’ve been dying to try it!
    What in the name of pluperfect Hell did Camilla wear to the reception? The royal muu-muu?

    Like

  4. How is that Skinnygirl stuff? I’ve been dying to try it!
    What in the name of pluperfect Hell did Camilla wear to the reception? The royal muu-muu?

    Like

  5. Sadie - Isn't amazing that you and your twin share the same birthday? We also have a family birthday today and another tomorrow. They aren't twins though. says:

    All together now, “Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Beth and twin brother, happy birthday to you.”

    Like

  6. Sadie - Isn't amazing that you and your twin share the same birthday? We also have a family birthday today and another tomorrow. They aren't twins though. says:

    All together now, “Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Beth and twin brother, happy birthday to you.”

    Like

  7. Sadie - Isn't amazing that you and your twin share the same birthday? We also have a family birthday today and another tomorrow. They aren't twins though. says:

    All together now, “Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Beth and twin brother, happy birthday to you.”

    Like

  8. A book would be cool, Furry. And we know that it would sell at least 950 million copies.
    I am going to guess that June is will paint something NOT white.
    And I have one more guess, but I am not racing to share.
    Happy Birthday, Beth and bro!

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  9. OH, and I forgot to with Beth and twinny happy birthday!!
    Skinnygirl margarita is pretty good, I must admit. And it’s only 37 calories for 1.5 ounces! I’m in the midst of my first one right now! Pretty good! Still isn’t as good as the full-on calorie kind, but this has far less guilt attached!! : )

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  10. I don’t care about all that wedding jazz, or even if June is having a pretend-lez affair all the way across a huge pond, but did June make a run-on sentence in this post? THAT gets me.

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  11. Pal, the picture of you in the cape shouts “tell me all your secrets!” I’m not buying that you don’t know already. I bet June was jealous of the cape. I’m jealous of the cape. Did you have white go go boots too? Jealous.

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  12. this post totally made me snort wine through my nose. thanks.
    oh…and i asked my daughter if she would be willing to change her name to pippa yesterday. she politely declined.
    damn.

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  13. Why has NO ONE guessed that I have some kind of 17-year-old lover or anything? I mean, that isnt it, but I am IRKED that no one at least thinks its a POSSIBILITY. Geez. Repulsively, June.

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  14. I am very good at guessing secrets. But I don’t want to spoil it for anyone, so I have written my guess on a piece of paper and sealed it in an envelope. Tomorrow when June reveals what the secret is, I will let you know whether I was right or wrong. I am rarely wrong.
    The green dress is stunning, but I think someone needs to tell Pippa that she’s not 18 anymore. The Almost-Royal Girls need a bit more support to look their best. And I think Harry has more fun than anyone no matter what the occasion. He just has that look about him.

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  15. Texas Kari who thinks princesses prolly aren't purchasing the bulk of their wardrobes at the Target. If fancy stores would sell groceries, Texas Kari would have a whole new look. says:

    I recorded the wedding and watched it last night with my ten year old daughter. (Pesky school got in the way of wedding watching, and we wanted to watch it together.)
    I enjoyed the whole event and came away with two thoughts. One, as lovely as the wedding was, I think being a princess would be very hard.
    And two, I probably should dress better!

    Like

  16. Texas Kari who thinks princesses prolly aren't purchasing the bulk of their wardrobes at the Target. If fancy stores would sell groceries, Texas Kari would have a whole new look. says:

    I recorded the wedding and watched it last night with my ten year old daughter. (Pesky school got in the way of wedding watching, and we wanted to watch it together.)
    I enjoyed the whole event and came away with two thoughts. One, as lovely as the wedding was, I think being a princess would be very hard.
    And two, I probably should dress better!

    Like

  17. Texas Kari who thinks princesses prolly aren't purchasing the bulk of their wardrobes at the Target. If fancy stores would sell groceries, Texas Kari would have a whole new look. says:

    I recorded the wedding and watched it last night with my ten year old daughter. (Pesky school got in the way of wedding watching, and we wanted to watch it together.)
    I enjoyed the whole event and came away with two thoughts. One, as lovely as the wedding was, I think being a princess would be very hard.
    And two, I probably should dress better!

    Like

  18. I feel you on the Target wardrobe, Kari. Also, TWENTY-FIVE PAGES TO GO on this book. Which I know sounds like I should be done in 25 minutes in normal-people world. In proofreading world it means I will be done at about 11:00, though! Which, yay. Oh, a proofreader! I LOVE to read! How I hate people who say that.

    Like

  19. Texas Kari who thinks princesses prolly aren't purchasing the bulk of their wardrobes at the Target. If fancy stores would sell groceries, Texas Kari would have a whole new look. says:

    Target Steve, I apologize if I hurt your feelings with my Target comment above. I love the Target, and I’m a completely loyal customer.
    Walmart – ew!

    Like

  20. Texas Kari who thinks princesses prolly aren't purchasing the bulk of their wardrobes at the Target. If fancy stores would sell groceries, Texas Kari would have a whole new look. says:

    Target Steve, I apologize if I hurt your feelings with my Target comment above. I love the Target, and I’m a completely loyal customer.
    Walmart – ew!

    Like

  21. Texas Kari who thinks princesses prolly aren't purchasing the bulk of their wardrobes at the Target. If fancy stores would sell groceries, Texas Kari would have a whole new look. says:

    Target Steve, I apologize if I hurt your feelings with my Target comment above. I love the Target, and I’m a completely loyal customer.
    Walmart – ew!

    Like

  22. Even Target Steve knows we should not all dress at Target. It is supposed to be filler, like IKEA. Yet all of a sudden your whole closet is Manfrengensrn or whatever their label is.
    Sent from my iPhone

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  23. Maybe June’s news is that she is going to get a long boob job!?
    Which reminds me of this: when Tobey and I were first married (and I inherited two brand new ten year old daughters) I took the girls shopping for a dress for me. And since I am a fluffy gal we were shopping in the women’s department where they obviously had never been before. So they are picking our dresses for me and one says to the other, “What does the ‘W’ on the sizes stand for?” And without missing a beat the other responded with “wide”. Nice

    Like

  24. Is your secret that you will finally be done proofreading the textbook just in time to start your new job?

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  25. Sadie, please note the time. I have read all of it, but now I am going back over it to search for anomalies I found and made note of and NO LONGER CARE ABOUT yet here I am.
    Sent from my iPhone

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  26. I don’t even know if you’ll see this comment because you get nine million comments for every post (I was going to show nine million numerically, but I have no idea how mnay zeros that is and I’m too lazy to google it), but I have to tell you that you never fail to make me laugh. I read your posts and the say to myself, “Joan, your name is almost June and people actually call you June at work when you have to state your name at the beginning of each horribley boring insurance phone call that you do to make a living,…but I digress…Joan, why can’t you post more often like June does?” And I then reply to myself, “because June is so freaking funny and so much more interesting and obviously so much more dedicated to her readers”
    Thanks, June for making me look forward to seeing what you have to say every day!

    Like

  27. Calm down, calm down everyone. Obviously, June’s big announcement is that she and Barry fell madly in love last week, when they met at the Pet store, and now are in the process of buying a zoo together. There, that was simple. haha Can’t wait for your announcement!!! 🙂

    Like

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