I am berserk · June's stupid life

Time won’t give me time

When Marvin left, he took the clock in the kitchen because it belonged to his grandmother. In fact, if you looked really carefully you could see teensy flecks of dough in the ceramic squares, and I am not making this up. His grandma liked to bake. We didn't clean it on purpose.

So this left me with a kitchen that was like Las Vegas. "What TIME is it," I always wondered when I was in there. And since I don't have a microwave, a fact that seems to baffle most of you, there was no clock there. There is one on my coffeemaker, but since the power goes out here whenever there is a drop of rain, my coffeemaker always says it's 2 a.m.

I was in the attic recently and I found the cutest clock up there. It's white, and shaped like a teapot, short and stout, and it's all retro-looking, and I thought, Why the Sam Hill didn't I have this up there in the first place? So I lugged it down, as much as you need to "lug" a clock that weighs as much as that Pomeranian from yesterday's story, put new batteries in it, and hung it on the wall.

Timewontgivemetime
Oh, it looks cute up there, and I was so happy I found it. Then awhile later I looked at it and said, "Really? It's only 26 after seven?"

Then the next morning I was getting ready for work, and I thought "Geez, I'd better hurry, it's 26 after seven."

I wish I could tell you how many times I was duped by the fact that it was always 26 after seven. The stupid SECOND HAND is STUCK and then the time won't move. I have done all kinds of technical things to it, like shake it and jiggle it and smack it and it remains stuck.

I'm so irked. And you will notice I have left the clock up there. I did see another retro-looking clock I like in LL Bean catalog, of all places, and I will probably get that once I get paid, but in the meantime, who enjoys her own self with her broken clock?

"Oh, it's 26 after seven! I'd better hurry!" I'll tell myself and giggle. "Why, it's 26 after seven again! What're the chances!"

My grandmother used to say I didn't need anybody, I could just sit with myself and laugh. Here is evidence of that theory.

And yes, I did just write an entire post about a broken clock.

163 thoughts on “Time won’t give me time

  1. Mother, thanks for the words to the song. It would not have seemed creepy to me as a child. In fact, it doesn’t even seem creepy to me now.

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  2. someone told me today that being by yourself is the best company you’ll ever get. too true for you june.

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  3. Cosmo’s Dad, is it your birthday? If so, happy birthday. Have a slice of cake for me.

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  4. Cosmo’s Dad, is it your birthday? If so, happy birthday. Have a slice of cake for me.

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  5. Cosmo’s Dad, is it your birthday? If so, happy birthday. Have a slice of cake for me.

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  6. I think Pieland has supportive readers that would feel honored to read this gentleman’s post. Care to share?

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  7. I think Pieland has supportive readers that would feel honored to read this gentleman’s post. Care to share?

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  8. I think Pieland has supportive readers that would feel honored to read this gentleman’s post. Care to share?

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  9. Oh, also? There is this guys blog I read, and he DIED, and he set up a posthumous post, because he knew he was gonna die, and my point is, my stupid post on a broken clock has gotten more comments than a post written BY A DEAD PERSON. At least when I read it, it had fewer comments than this. Redunkulous.
    Sent from my iPhone

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  10. Just me for you and you for me.

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  11. Just me for you and you for me.

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  12. Just me for you and you for me.

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  13. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

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  14. I’m listening to a Bee Gees CD as I make supper and it seems as if Barrys gotta get a message to somebody cuz “one more hour” and his life will be through.
    Gawd, I hope he gets hold of that person.

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  15. While the grandfather clock song was often played on Captain Kangaroo, I’m not sure it was intended to be a children’s song. I always liked it though;
    My grandfather’s clock was too large for the shelf
    So it stood 90 years on the floor.
    It was taller by half than the old man himself though it weighed not a penny weight more.
    It was bought on the morn of the day that he was born.
    It was always his pleasure and pride.
    But it stopped, short, never to to again when the old man died.
    Ninety years without slumbering
    Tock
    Tock
    Its life seconds numbering
    Tock
    Tock
    But it stopped, short, never to go again when the old man died.

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  16. I have plenty of time on my hands for this discussion…. the watchdogs are asleep after their dinner, as the weather is warming we are a bit concerned about ticks.. no tocks in MD… oh well time flies when you’re having fun… off to restart my calendar. Carry on because is there reall any Rhyme or Reason?

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  17. I have plenty of time on my hands for this discussion…. the watchdogs are asleep after their dinner, as the weather is warming we are a bit concerned about ticks.. no tocks in MD… oh well time flies when you’re having fun… off to restart my calendar. Carry on because is there reall any Rhyme or Reason?

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  18. I have plenty of time on my hands for this discussion…. the watchdogs are asleep after their dinner, as the weather is warming we are a bit concerned about ticks.. no tocks in MD… oh well time flies when you’re having fun… off to restart my calendar. Carry on because is there reall any Rhyme or Reason?

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  19. Amish Annie has never seen Superman in the booth unless Superman now wears dungarees, a hat and a long beard. says:

    Who all has an old skool, fully functional blue and white phone booth 1/2 mile from their house, one that takes quarters and dimes still? I do.
    Oh, Cosmo’s Dad said TOLL booth, not phone booth. Oops, sorry, I got all GEARED up about the wrong thing.

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  20. Furry is high? Hi Furry! All this clock talk is taking its toll on me. Like a Phantom Toll Booth.

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  21. Furry is high? Hi Furry! All this clock talk is taking its toll on me. Like a Phantom Toll Booth.

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  22. Furry is high? Hi Furry! All this clock talk is taking its toll on me. Like a Phantom Toll Booth.

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  23. “Irked” and “why in Sam Hill”….these words are why I get a kick out of you, June. These are words I grew up with in my home. I definitely think I’d like your people if I met them in person. : ) The clock is cute and I used to have that same wallpaper in green in the 90’s. Cute.

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  24. Thank goodness I’ve never heard of the grandfather clock song. But, hey, if I liked the Hearse song as a kid, maybe I would have liked this one, too. Who knows?
    Furry, glad to hear you are high and dry.

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  25. Thank goodness I’ve never heard of the grandfather clock song. But, hey, if I liked the Hearse song as a kid, maybe I would have liked this one, too. Who knows?
    Furry, glad to hear you are high and dry.

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  26. Thank goodness I’ve never heard of the grandfather clock song. But, hey, if I liked the Hearse song as a kid, maybe I would have liked this one, too. Who knows?
    Furry, glad to hear you are high and dry.

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  27. I just wanted to say that the grandfather clock song is the creepiest children’s song ever. He has this clock, and it keeps time with his life, and then he dies, and the clock dies NEVER TO work again. Perhaps that’s what happened to your teapot clock. It was someone’s special “life” clock, and they DIED and now you have a corpse in your kitchen. A clock corpse.
    Isn’t that creepy? Who thinks that is appropriate for children?

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  28. Junie, that clock is so cute. And you reminded me how much I dislike my behemoth of a microwave. As soon as the youngest daughter moves onto campus at the end of the summer, I am going to get rid of it. My daughters love that thing – my father gave it to me for Christmas seven years ago. I use it to heat up water for hot tea – that is all. But it’s too big and takes up a lot of counter space.
    So when this last chick is out of the nest, then I can decorate MY space with the vintage kitchen stuff from my grandmother.
    Too bad that I only seem to be attracted to men in the age range of 49 – 56 -ish, or this would be a good time to sign up for a Cougar Cruise too.
    p.s.I liked Brenda’s story about the lady who thought the painted “time” on the bank sign was a real digital clock. Sounds a lot like my ex-mother in law (who I adore).

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  29. I always assumed crickets were what I was hearing when I asked women out…

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  30. Didn’t know that one. Saw it and was all “Yeah sure, if I knew when they lived and played.”

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  31. Yeah…
    But can he figure out a pitcher’s ERA?? HMMM???

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  32. Yeah…
    But can he figure out a pitcher’s ERA?? HMMM???

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  33. Yeah…
    But can he figure out a pitcher’s ERA?? HMMM???

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  34. Steve’s wife, Beth just took the discussion in an ALARMING direction.

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  35. I don’t know if that ruined the Mendelssohn violin concerto for me, or made it the BEST THING EVER.

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  36. Allegro molto appassionato attacca would mean that you play quickly, with a lot of passion, and without pausing from the previous part of the piece.

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