Oh, I love it when we explore our crabby sides.
Yesterday I asked all y'all to mention the petty things that bug you, and it is a shame you hardly had any. I was on the phone (let me put my thumb and pinky up so you know I was on the phone) with my Pal From MA, and I said, "I'd better go pick out my featured comments for tomorrow's Pieces of Wisdom post" and she said, "Yeah, you'd better get on that. You have more than 300 comments." And I said, "I DO?"
They come to me as emails, see. So I often do not know the number. Anyway, your petty annoyances were a great source of amusement for me yesterday and here were some that particularly tickled me.
YES! Oh, who INVENTED that plastic? I'd like to give them a gallon of water and then encase their personal toilet in that plastic. Is what I'd like to do.
"I'll have to add: that Charmin commercial with the bears. UGH! I mean, really! Wasn't Mr. Whipple bad enough? Who thought that bears and TP go together? And why do they want me to think about bear dingle-berries? Disgusting!"
I do not know why this one made me laugh for 109 minutes, except you know how I am about anything poop-related.
"People with nothing to say. 'Man, what a day.' What the f*uck does that mean? Did you win the lottery? Get fired? Commit a murder? Then someone goes, 'What happened?' And they go, 'Oh, just crazy…' If it's that big a secret, why did you even mention it? How self-absorbed do you think you are that you feel you have to 'tease' us into finding out what happened? 'Oh MAN! She had a day! I gotta stayed tuned for THIS!' Whatever…"
Posted by: Hulk (It's been quite a day…) | 10 May 2011 at 03:29 PM
Hulk. Being my partner in crab since 1982.
"All that re-posting and chain posting nonsense on Facebook.
Negative comments on FB. If you have nothing nice to say, keep your trap shut or stay off of my page!
Starting off a question with 'Can I ask you a question?' or 'Can I ask you a favor?' JUST ASK ME, ALREADY!!!"
Posted by: My name is Pamela and I am Soul Sister #2 and I am easily annoyed | 10 May 2011 at 01:44 PM
Goodness, Pamela and I are the same person.
"When people ask really obvious questions, like if I am sitting here with a blanket wrapped around me in my office and fifty people say 'ARE YA COLD?' "
Marvin used to ask me what I was doing when I'd be, oh, watching TV or reading a book. I would always say thing like, "I'm cooking up a big pot of stew" or "I'm wildly conducting an orchestra." I wonder why he left? And Kate, the rest of your comment mentioned a bird's nest and the promise of photos and HELLO!
"People wearing earpiece phones. Unless you are landing planes at JFK while trying to pick out a breakfast cereal, leave the effing thing in the car. You look like a moron talking to himself everywhere else. You are not important enough. Trust me. If you were, someone ELSE would be buying your Apple Jacks FOR you…"
Posted by: Hulk (What cranky?) | 10 May 2011 at 09:13 AM
Hulk. Continuing in the cranky-pal vein.
Posted by: DB in MD | 10 May 2011 at 09:25 AM
Really, you all slayed me yesterday. Good job! Now let's all go out and be happy today.
Because it is what it is.