June's stupid life · My pets

Zoo

Look at who's back! Marvin is going to Michigan for the 4th of July and I am cat-sitting for my own cats. MY KITTIES ARE BACK!!! I love this picture. I have officially gone around the bend. Look at the chaotic, cat-filled room behind me, and I am holding poor traumatized Henry completely against his… Continue reading Zoo

Books · Faithful Readers · June's stupid life

Faithful Reader Hulk

First of all, I am being stalked by somebody in Match.com. Not by Daniel Boone or Dick Whitman, and I am cracking my own self up with those phony names I have for the two decent normal men I met on there. Some OTHER guy. He seemed okay at first, and he was funny and… Continue reading Faithful Reader Hulk

Friends · June's stupid life · Times I Amused My Own Self

Burning down the workplace

Yesterday at work, somebody walked down my aisle and said, "What's that smell?" I don't know about you, but I always panic when someone says that. Am I wearing another kitten-pee shirt? Did I accidentally bring a bag of dog poo in with me? These things are entirely possible when you're me. Fortunately, the building… Continue reading Burning down the workplace

June can't keep a man · June's stupid life

June is a tramp

So, I went on a date yesterday, with a whole different boy. I KNOW! Once June starts something, she really gets into it. We will call this guy Daniel Boone, seeing as we met under a giant Daniel Boone statue. Who knew Daniel Boone was a marionette? And also that he seems to have arthritis… Continue reading June is a tramp

June can't keep a man · June's stupid life

No time left for youuuu

I had a really good time last night, and now I gotta rush out the door again. I am a gadabout lately. Dick Whitman met the pets, and Edsel jumped all over his allergic self 4502848 times. I had given a bone to both dogs so they'd stay amused, but Tallulah took BOTH bones and… Continue reading No time left for youuuu

I am berserk · June can't keep a man · June's stupid life

June prepares

That dreadful bug came back yesterday. It is occurring to me that maybe there is more than one. To which I say, ACK! like that Cathy in that funny funny comic strip. I was perhaps emailing 75 times back and forth with a cute boy, and no it was NOT Dick Whitman. Girl, I am… Continue reading June prepares

June's stupid life · Times I Amused My Own Self

Teams

Tallulah's gettin' her swoop back. When she got hit by that car last month, Marvin took her to the vet to make sure she was okay, and other than the mite in her ear the only other thing wrong was she weighed FIFTY-FOUR POUNDS, which she should not. She is not that big of a… Continue reading Teams

Books · June's stupid life · Television

In which June is stuck on the word “appalled”

The angry chair has brought out the anger in my kittens. I wonder what Francis would think of this? I think he'd have been appalled. And perhaps cranky. Also? Nice cornhole, Roger. In other news, I will always turn up the volume when this song comes on. I wonder if it's hard for sober Dave… Continue reading In which June is stuck on the word “appalled”

June's stupid life · Money

In which June buys her own house and it is annoying

Could I be any crankier right now? I am typing this on Monday night, because I plan to overdose on decaf green tea tonight and sleep in tomorrow. I KNOW how to relax and have a good time when I'm stressed. As you may know, if you salivate over my every move, and why don't… Continue reading In which June buys her own house and it is annoying

Friends · June's stupid life · Photo essays

00000000 (Anderson Cooper wrote this title)(It’s not at all annoying when he walks across the keyboard)

Yesterday, I took the kittens to the vet for their shots, and I was quite worried about skinny Anderson. He is 11 days older than Roger and weighs HALF what Roger does. I looked in my photos to show you an example of how much bigger Roger is, but I found this shot of Edsel… Continue reading 00000000 (Anderson Cooper wrote this title)(It’s not at all annoying when he walks across the keyboard)

Books · June's stupid life

Mince Words with June: All about Lululululululu (who loves herself?)

I bought this book on Amazon, because God forbid I save any money and look for it at the library or anything. Then once it came, I realized I'd read it before, and not only had I read it before, but Faithful Reader The Chief had sent it to me for free. This is why… Continue reading Mince Words with June: All about Lululululululu (who loves herself?)

Books · June's stupid life · Not Grace Kelly

Eau de–eau kill me now

Before I forget, book club is tonight! Seven p.m. my time (Eastern). Click Mince Words with June if you are bored and want to rush out, buy a book, read it, and be ready for book club at 7:00. That is totally something I would do. However, today I am not bored. I have to… Continue reading Eau de–eau kill me now

June's stupid life · My pets · Photo essays

SCRAM! And I am not a Vermicious Knid.

I have never wanted the dogs to be on the couch, if you want to know the truth. It was always Marvin who allowed it, and who wanted the dogs in the bed, too. There is a tacky joke here about Marvin's new single life, but I will remain the Grace Kelly I always am… Continue reading SCRAM! And I am not a Vermicious Knid.

June's stupid life · My pets · Proofreading/Copy editing

In which June is fat and incompetent and obsessed with her pets. In other words, nothing is new.

I am so sick of my fat ass I could puke. Seriously. This is the fattest I've ever been, and I was blaming it on my migraine meds, but lately I've been taking my migraine meds every other day to see if it made a difference? Yeah. It did not. Remember when my headache doctor… Continue reading In which June is fat and incompetent and obsessed with her pets. In other words, nothing is new.

June's stupid life · My pets · Science

In which June did not blow up

I am still here. On this side of the grass. Here is the grass I am on top of, and also the gas man's truck. Oh, and look. A jogger. BARK! BARKBARKBARKBARK!rrrrrrrBARK! What if you hadn't read yesterday's post? So far this whole thing would make no sense. Anyway, my pilot light was out. That… Continue reading In which June did not blow up

June's stupid life · Science

This post’s a gas

So I'm over here waiting to blow up because I think I have a gas leak. I just woke up and smelled it. Well. That isn't true. I woke up AN HOUR AGO because stupid stupid stupid Edsel felt the need to scream at every morning jogger and dog walker, which in this neighborhood is… Continue reading This post’s a gas