00000000 (Anderson Cooper wrote this title)(It’s not at all annoying when he walks across the keyboard)

Yesterday, I took the kittens to the vet for their shots, and I was quite worried about skinny Anderson. He is 11 days older than Roger and weighs HALF what Roger does.

Iacat
I looked in my photos to show you an example of how much bigger Roger is, but I found this shot of Edsel in the cat window and it slayed me. Francis' influence stretched way beyond his death; this was the first time either dog ever got in the angry chair. They have dutifully stayed away from its empty self all this time. Anyway, now Edsel has a new way to stare longingly at me when I get sick of him following me and sticking his nose on me every second.

So the vet checked out both kittens, and I said, "What can I do about skinny Anderson?" She said, "I think this monster, Roger, is stealing all the food. Feed him separately and feed him fattening canned kitten food. Because his health is stellar otherwise."

Fooddelish
So Anderson had a big day yesterday.

In the meantime, though? After all that worrying about Anderson's skinny ass? ROGER has a HEART MURMUR! Roger! Big healthy ridiculous Roger! Also, he has a hernia, which is common and can be fixed when HE gets fixed.

The vet said the heart murmur could be nothing, and I really think it IS nothing. You have never met a more hearty kitten in your life. That cat is healthy as a horse. A horse with a heart murmur.

After they got their shots, they were tuckered out all day.

Rogertire
It was weird to see them lounging around like real cats, not thundering through the house like banshees. Do banshees thunder? Our are they just kind of screamy?

OH! And at my  vet? Some idiot dropped off a cardboard box in the parking lot? With THREE KITTENS in it!

Kittens
LOOK HOW CUTE!

I am trying to talk my friend Laurie into taking one. Or, you know, two. She is partial to the white one and the orange one. I think she should name the orange one Orange, and the white one You Glad I Didn't Say Banana. But maybe that's just me.

Speaking of Laurie, she and I headed off to the Lowe's, there, to get me a screen door. We were like a lesbian couple, headed out to improve our home together on a Saturday, followed by a nice trip to Lillith Fair. Stereotype much, June?

Helooo!
I would just like to state, for the record, that I shot out the door yesterday morning with wet hair and no makeup and this is how Laurie captured me on film. Hey, it was LOWE'S. And what self-respecting lesbian does her hair and makeup anyway? (Please see earlier reference to stereotyping.)

Query
Laurie had taken a bunch of I'm-a-Virgo, boring-ass measurements at my house, and I am a brick.HOWSE. 36-24-26. OW! No. She measured my door. So then we had to ask the guy at Lowe's a bunch of things, and when my door GETS HERE we have to saw it. SAW IT! I KNOW! Apparently Laurie knows how to do this. Thank god for her lesbian self.

Door
Basically, I am getting a super-fussy, old-fashioned, screen-door-from-The-Waltons kind of a door. Do you think it looks too olde tyme ice cream parlor? Oh, who cares. Then we had to search around and find doorknobs that looked old-fashioned and really I should have been born in 1892.

Crawl
Really looking forward to the dang thing getting here IN SEVEN DAYS, and then the kittens climbing up it.

After that, Laurie made me go around Lowe's and make an idiot of myself for her camera, which you know I did.

Bbq
Veryinteresting
Usausa
You kind of have to hand it to me that I am willing to show you pictures of me looking this hagged out. I have no modesty.

At any rate, since we couldn't put up the door yesterday, we went to Starbucks instead, where we ran into a friend of mine and Laurie insisted we take 87 pictures of my friend, but I did not ask if I could put her picture in my blog so I will not show you those. Basically if you are camera shy, you should not hang with Laurie.

Did I mention I am the only child of a photographer? If you don't bring a camera I think there's something wrong with you.

And speaking of being an only child, happy Fathers Day to everyone, including my own dad who STILL HAS NOT GOTTEN MY GIFT. I told him I got him a Kiera Knightly blowup doll and he is going to be so disappointed. Also happy Fathers Day to my stepfather, who whenever you ask him what he wants for Fathers Day he says peace on earth, and every time I says that I threaten to blow something up.

Peace out. With your piece out.

110 thoughts on “00000000 (Anderson Cooper wrote this title)(It’s not at all annoying when he walks across the keyboard)

  1. Jerseylicious, now? Ok, but I’m sure Mob Wives tops all of the Jersey shows. It is Staten Island’s raison d’etre to make Jersey look good.
    Do any Pie-pers watch Mob Wives? My favorite is Drita.
    I’ve got Big Fat Gypsy Wedding on my (fake)Tivo now so I won’t miss any. Where do they get their money? How do they finance these weddings? And what IS with that stomp? Inquiring minds need to know.

    Like

  2. Jerseylicious, now? Ok, but I’m sure Mob Wives tops all of the Jersey shows. It is Staten Island’s raison d’etre to make Jersey look good.
    Do any Pie-pers watch Mob Wives? My favorite is Drita.
    I’ve got Big Fat Gypsy Wedding on my (fake)Tivo now so I won’t miss any. Where do they get their money? How do they finance these weddings? And what IS with that stomp? Inquiring minds need to know.

    Like

  3. Sadly, no kitties for me at this time. I was considering snatching up two out of the three. For the siamese lovers, sorry but I’m not a big fan. Must have a kitty, just not this week.
    I love how Raj is offering a salute.
    I asked June to let y’all know those snaps were taken with my point & shoot camera. Or, as my dad would say a PHD camera (push here dummy).
    Seriously, how much coaxing do you really think is necessary to get June to pose for a picture? Have you met her? Wouldn’t you have wanted to see her on a John Deere tractor, or sitting on a toilet? But nooooo, those images didn’t make the cut.
    Just want to throw this question out to ya’ll….do you think a screen door would fit INSIDE a VW Beetle? That’s all I’m sayin’.
    The screen door really is a June door. Love it!

    Like

  4. What no pot shots at the Lowe’s? This one time at Lowe’s, my newly potty trained 3 year old dropped her drawers and almost left a deposit in one of the diplay toilets. So if you ever hear,”Nooooooooooo” coming from the bathroom section that may be why.

    Like

  5. You saw a lesbian. Why won’t Lowes, cut your door to your measurments? Do you have weather stripping? Will you paint the door pink? I have other questions, but I’m saving them. I get compounded interest.
    Cosmo gave me a present this AM. I used a poopy bag to dispose of it.
    Hi Rog! waving back at you too!!!

    Like

  6. You saw a lesbian. Why won’t Lowes, cut your door to your measurments? Do you have weather stripping? Will you paint the door pink? I have other questions, but I’m saving them. I get compounded interest.
    Cosmo gave me a present this AM. I used a poopy bag to dispose of it.
    Hi Rog! waving back at you too!!!

    Like

  7. You saw a lesbian. Why won’t Lowes, cut your door to your measurments? Do you have weather stripping? Will you paint the door pink? I have other questions, but I’m saving them. I get compounded interest.
    Cosmo gave me a present this AM. I used a poopy bag to dispose of it.
    Hi Rog! waving back at you too!!!

    Like

  8. Oh, yeah, Paula. At your suggestion, I caught an episode or two of Mob Wives. Hysterical.
    Jerseylicious is about dueling hair salons. A scream, I tell you. The spray tan, make up and bumpits alone are worth the price of intermission. Oh! And the “jewelry” and lamenated dresses! *snort*
    And also plus too? I think getting married gives the oldest gypsy girl a break from taking care of all her younger siblings. Cleaning that damn trailer for two is better than cleaning it for the whole family and taking care of 19,000 kids that aren’t yours.

    Like

  9. Oh, yeah, Paula. At your suggestion, I caught an episode or two of Mob Wives. Hysterical.
    Jerseylicious is about dueling hair salons. A scream, I tell you. The spray tan, make up and bumpits alone are worth the price of intermission. Oh! And the “jewelry” and lamenated dresses! *snort*
    And also plus too? I think getting married gives the oldest gypsy girl a break from taking care of all her younger siblings. Cleaning that damn trailer for two is better than cleaning it for the whole family and taking care of 19,000 kids that aren’t yours.

    Like

  10. Oh, yeah, Paula. At your suggestion, I caught an episode or two of Mob Wives. Hysterical.
    Jerseylicious is about dueling hair salons. A scream, I tell you. The spray tan, make up and bumpits alone are worth the price of intermission. Oh! And the “jewelry” and lamenated dresses! *snort*
    And also plus too? I think getting married gives the oldest gypsy girl a break from taking care of all her younger siblings. Cleaning that damn trailer for two is better than cleaning it for the whole family and taking care of 19,000 kids that aren’t yours.

    Like

  11. Susan, you misunerstood. There ARE pot shots. Just not posted pot shots.
    CD – Lowes only rough cuts. Only an inch on both sides needs to be cut. The blade they have would eat the crap out of the door.

    Like

  12. Heya, I’ve seen a lot of traveller wedding parades (big coaches/horses/teenage girl’s face lost in a sea of pink tulle) and they’re awesome! There’s a special my Big Fat Royal Gypsy Wedding which will blow. Your. Minds.
    And why not get married at 16? You’re not allowed to work anyway, no career to be cracking on with. You’re not going to meet new people by waiting, you only mix with travellers in your area. The longer you stay with your parents the older you’ll look as a bride.
    Also they’ve the money to spend on huge weddings since they’re nearly all tradesmen and get paid a crapload of money and get it all cash in hand. No taxes, caravans are cheaper to maintain than houses and some are so strict about non-mixing with outsiders that they don’t have dinners out or even go to the cinema.
    I did on a project on their college for uni and their life expectancy is only 50yo on average so I guess waiting til 25 makes you middle aged!

    Like

  13. I think Roger’s heart just has a lot to say…quietly.
    P.S. I hated girly clothes and pretty much still do, hate heels and jewelry other than small earrings. I wear flannel shirts and clogs and even Birks. I’m very hetero, though. In fact, I was shocked the first time someone said I “dress like a lesbian.” (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

    Like

  14. I worked in a hotel in Los Angeles, at teh airport, named Marriott, there was a large driveway (only one way in, then out), dueling gypsie families arrived, one family on the in, one family on the out, humongous caddillacs and lincolns, 1984, BAM, smasholah…. when they checked out they had packed all the sheets, pillows, mattress pads, towels, ashtrays, waste baskets, lamp shades…. you name it… they paid cash…no way to recoup the loses…thank god they didn’t take a screen door….. June beware Gypsie boyfriends….

    Like

  15. I worked in a hotel in Los Angeles, at teh airport, named Marriott, there was a large driveway (only one way in, then out), dueling gypsie families arrived, one family on the in, one family on the out, humongous caddillacs and lincolns, 1984, BAM, smasholah…. when they checked out they had packed all the sheets, pillows, mattress pads, towels, ashtrays, waste baskets, lamp shades…. you name it… they paid cash…no way to recoup the loses…thank god they didn’t take a screen door….. June beware Gypsie boyfriends….

    Like

  16. I worked in a hotel in Los Angeles, at teh airport, named Marriott, there was a large driveway (only one way in, then out), dueling gypsie families arrived, one family on the in, one family on the out, humongous caddillacs and lincolns, 1984, BAM, smasholah…. when they checked out they had packed all the sheets, pillows, mattress pads, towels, ashtrays, waste baskets, lamp shades…. you name it… they paid cash…no way to recoup the loses…thank god they didn’t take a screen door….. June beware Gypsie boyfriends….

    Like

  17. What channel is this gypsy wedding show on? I have never heard of it, except here on this fine blog.
    Years ago when I was pregnant with my daughter, Baby Story was new on the air. Because I was pregnant I watched it voraciously. Once my baby arrived – meh. Didn’t care anymore. Not long ago, I noticed it on while I was channel surfing and decided to watch. Like all episodes, it opened with a close up of the couple saying a bit about themselves. The lady looks straight at the camera serious as can be and says, “Well, we are Druids…”
    !!

    Like

  18. Linda in CO., I knew my son was gay from his second grade year on. Which means he was seven years old. He was a year younger than his classmates. Every year forward just confirmed my instinct. Even his siblings were in the dark for years.
    He didn’t come out until he graduated from high school. It was really hard for him to be openly gay in our hometown school.
    He’ll be 24 in August and lives life as an openly gay man. I couldn’t be more proud of him if I tried.

    Like

  19. Hope your new screen door has that wonderful, old-timey, squeaky sound :)And you may want a screen for the screen for when the dogs jump up on it!

    Like

  20. Lisa Pie, I’ve been wanting old screen doors for my pantry too! I’m wanting to add some character to my 1986 house and thought that would be a good start. June, love your screen door, it looks like it fits with you and your house.

    Like

  21. I can read a couple of those Russian words, but not much. The first word is thanks, the next word is interesting or interested or maybe interestingly. After the comma is “that I” something.

    Like

  22. Chief, your book reviews are actually much more enlightening, but I do know more now than I did, so you still rock, and thanks!

    Like

  23. Chief, your book reviews are actually much more enlightening, but I do know more now than I did, so you still rock, and thanks!

    Like

  24. Chief, your book reviews are actually much more enlightening, but I do know more now than I did, so you still rock, and thanks!

    Like

  25. Oh, so thinking about that little colorpoint kitten. Might be a Birman, as it has the white gloves. I have a long-haired Siamese, who could not be more loving, snuggly, and chatty – matches me to a ‘t’. She was abandoned in our condo garden almost 3 years ago, and now is mine. Perhaps June needs the dark/light of a Siamese to go with the grey boys?

    Like

  26. chief, google translate helps, a little, if it is russian or belarusian it means:
    Thanks, well written ..)
    But I think that I like reading.
    if it is ukrainian, then gps was probably drunk and it means:
    Thanks, interesting to write ..)
    But is said to me, that I have already read podobnoe.

    Like

  27. June. A Faithful Reader here, who never comments because your other commenters are so much fun!
    I just had to tell you though, that like me a few years ago, you are using the completely wrong bra size!
    No wonder your bra straps were falling during your dinner date! The size is all wrong for you.
    Go find a place where you can get fitted by someone who knows what she is doing. Trust me, you will thank me later.

    Like

  28. C.M., are you looking at my hoots? However, yes, I will check it out, because now that Edsel has eaten my bra I need new ones anyway. Maybe he was trying to tell me something…

    Like

  29. By the way, June, I have the exact same body you do (not kidding), so you’ve got to believe me :-). You need a much bigger cup, maybe a smaller number.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s