I hate my head

If I was gonna pick a day to get a migraine, did I have to pick the longest day of the year? My pain went an extra, extra, extra long time.

What is that a commercial for? Is it Extra gum? Which by the way is a stupid name. Extra. Do they give you an additional piece in the pack? No. Then stop calling it that. Do you know people who are always chewing that bright green Extra gum? I did, in college. They were always chawing on that stuff like there was some weird science experiment going on in their mouths.

But I digress. Yesterdday at the end of the workday, I was in a brainstorming session, and man did my brain ever begin to storm. I was having fun, too, because we were thinking up clever phrases. Although I should tell you that if I ever have to think of clever things on the spot I never ever can. Kind of like when people introduce me, "This is my friend June. She's really funny!" and then I'm the guy who write the Bazooka comics all night–the least-funny person on Earth. Still I was enjoying my brainstorming meeting until I felt that first migraine twinge.

My head was getting worse and worse, but it was nearing 5:00 and I thought surely we'll end the meeting so people can go home. Often I call myself Shirley. But no! We kept going! Just like Extra gum!

At 10 after we all finally got up, and I tried to not mince to my desk cradling my head as I wanted to. Just as I was at my desk, my boss's boss said, "Oh, June. Before you go, can you take a look at the whooo-de-whooo and make sure it's okay?"

Crap.

"Sure!" I smiled, trying not to vomit on my shoes. Which by the way, my Pal from MA sent me NEW PINK SHOES for my birthday and I just got them yesterday and naturally I wore them right away. So barfing on them would have been disappointing.

And yes, foot fetish people. I will take a photo.

Anyway. By the time I got home I was suffering succotash. I went to bed, and Edsel and Tallulah decided that was an EXCELLENT time to begin wrestling ON TOP OF ME, so I had to banish them. This meant the entire time I was in the bed, Edsel was outside my door. "Hmmmmmmm! Hmmmmmmmmmm! WWWoahhhhhhh. Hmmmmmm." Edsel is obsessed with me. He needs counseling.

I am better today, and I see that it rained, so my migraine is explained. Usually I can figure out why I got one–stupid sleep pattern, not eating, accidentally ingesting MSG. But rain will do it too. Something about barometric pressure.

I did wonder if my new diet had anything to do with it, but I am not starving myself. I have been paying $17 a month for Weight Watchers online and doing nothing with it since January, which is annoying and wasteful and no wonder God hates me and gives me migraines. So since Sunday I have been Weight Watchering and I weigh less already. Can you tell? Does my font look thinner?

I must go, because Roger is crying pitifully and so is Edsel. I have to close Roger up in the bedroom so I can feed Anderson his fattening canned food, and oh! It makes him mad. Edsel is upset because the computer room door is shut. "Hmmmmmmmm! HMMMMMMM! ARF! HMMMMMMMMM. Mew! Mew! MAAAAAAAAEEEEWWWW!" It's copacetic here, is what it is.

Oh! I almost forgot.

RubylilyRuby's lily bloomed! For those of you just tuning in, Ruby was my cat, and she died in 2009 and I planted a lily where she's buried. And yes, I DO have two dead cats in my yard. I look forward to the next people who live here discovering all the cat bodies. They'll think I was some kind of cat killer.

Zzzkits
In fact, these two are not sleeping. I have gassed them. Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaa! Death to all kitties!

Okay, my migraine has made me flip my lid. Goodbye.

173 thoughts on “I hate my head

  1. ugh. My mother just texted me. Then she emailed me to see if I got her text. And now she’s calling me. I’m sure to check to see if I got her email checking to see if I got her text. Which will be impossible to decipher because she does not make sure the words make sense before she hits send. One day I got 42 text messages in 45 seconds. She had discovered the draft email box on her phone – all the texts she never actually sent but thought she did – so she sent them all at once. To me. My nieces taught her to text. They are out of the will. They also put her on “facepage”. She has asked me 18507583920495757 times to show her how it works. I tell her I have no idea.
    Anyway, Hulk please tell us what June thinks she is crazy about. You can trust us. We won’t tell her that you told us!

    Like

  2. Bueller, Tippy and Fennec. Three new kitties at The Pie. See what you started, June, with Roger and Anderson? How lucky for all five kitties to have loving homes.
    Thank you for the video of the sideways spider kitty. Good thing I wasn’t drinking anything at the time or it would have been spewed all over the screen.

    Like

  3. bwahahaha june and lisa! too funny…
    barb,i thought spider kitty is like spider pig:


    annish amie, eddie vedder looks like desmond from LOST, you like hairy men, the hairier the better? how about chewbacca or a sasquatch?

    Like

  4. THANK YOU, Hysterical Barb. I was afraid to admit (for the millionth time) that I had no clue what June was talking about. Love the sideways spider kitty.

    Like

  5. I think it should just be called sideways kitty. Not sure what the spider is all about. Anyway,it is hysterical. I do remember my girls busting that move and you’re right June…the window of opportunity is not very long. Matze,love the ss piggy! Lisa, too funny about your mom being hep to all that new fangled technology.

    Like

  6. Okay, I’ve never seen an arching spider, but I still think “sideways spider kitty” is perfect. Because they don’t just run sideways. They SKITTER. Like spiders. Or cockroaches. But “sideways cockroach kitty” doesn’t work as well.

    Like

  7. erin, i like the song, and i know what kathy meant when she talked about daughters hugging their dads.i had that feeling when the blue muppet sat on don draper’s shoulders…awwwww.
    it’s just,sasquatchesesae ARE NOT BLUE!
    also, the hugging cat is cute,damn, i would not gas her.

    Like

  8. My name is Pamela and I am Soul Sister #2 and hubby just told me it is "raining cats and dogs in NJ." Yikes! says:

    Swamped with deadlines at work and family stuff at home but what am I doing? Reading BBP! Funny stuff! Crazy stuff! A usual day in Pieland!
    Thought about you, Lisa Pie, when I woke up and heard it was raining in parts of Texas. Newsperson was quick to emphasize that it was only “parts” of Texas, not the whole HUGE state. I hoped it was raining on your part.
    Happy Birthday Garden Girl!
    I lost weight with WW in ’07. Loved it so much I became a part-time leader. I enjoy a good meeting…very inspiring. But I became ill and had to stop leading. Bought my house, got better, partied hearty for months and gained all the weight back and some. Now doing WW online. As they say in “the rooms,” it works if you work it! Tons of resources. Lots of like-minded people to share the struggle. I like the idea of a BBP group over there too!
    Back to deadlines and pressure…glad I don’t get migraines…they sound horrific!

    Like

  9. My name is Pamela and I am Soul Sister #2 and hubby just told me it is "raining cats and dogs in NJ." Yikes! says:

    Swamped with deadlines at work and family stuff at home but what am I doing? Reading BBP! Funny stuff! Crazy stuff! A usual day in Pieland!
    Thought about you, Lisa Pie, when I woke up and heard it was raining in parts of Texas. Newsperson was quick to emphasize that it was only “parts” of Texas, not the whole HUGE state. I hoped it was raining on your part.
    Happy Birthday Garden Girl!
    I lost weight with WW in ’07. Loved it so much I became a part-time leader. I enjoy a good meeting…very inspiring. But I became ill and had to stop leading. Bought my house, got better, partied hearty for months and gained all the weight back and some. Now doing WW online. As they say in “the rooms,” it works if you work it! Tons of resources. Lots of like-minded people to share the struggle. I like the idea of a BBP group over there too!
    Back to deadlines and pressure…glad I don’t get migraines…they sound horrific!

    Like

  10. My name is Pamela and I am Soul Sister #2 and hubby just told me it is "raining cats and dogs in NJ." Yikes! says:

    Swamped with deadlines at work and family stuff at home but what am I doing? Reading BBP! Funny stuff! Crazy stuff! A usual day in Pieland!
    Thought about you, Lisa Pie, when I woke up and heard it was raining in parts of Texas. Newsperson was quick to emphasize that it was only “parts” of Texas, not the whole HUGE state. I hoped it was raining on your part.
    Happy Birthday Garden Girl!
    I lost weight with WW in ’07. Loved it so much I became a part-time leader. I enjoy a good meeting…very inspiring. But I became ill and had to stop leading. Bought my house, got better, partied hearty for months and gained all the weight back and some. Now doing WW online. As they say in “the rooms,” it works if you work it! Tons of resources. Lots of like-minded people to share the struggle. I like the idea of a BBP group over there too!
    Back to deadlines and pressure…glad I don’t get migraines…they sound horrific!

    Like

  11. Mozza, is Eddie Vedder hairy? Hadn’t noticed. Hehe.
    Zadge, don’t know that specific pervert Amish kid but I know others. Also, old order Amish aren’t supposed to have phones, electricity and such but a local Amish person told me that many of the teenagers do in fact have and hide phones from their elders now.

    Like

  12. I’ve never had a cat as a pet so I am not wise to their ways. I recently learned that kittens do not have the ability to weave between your legs like a figure 8. That comes with kitty adolescence.
    hunh. Learn somethin’ new every day.

    Like

  13. Simon will still turn sideways and pop up in the air. Then he has to relax and recover, the fat bastard.
    Did you know they turn sideways to present a larger entity to whatever scared them in the first place? And how do we know this? Was there a talking cat on Dick Cavett that let loose with this little gem?
    I think it’s crabs that move sideways. But sideways crab kitten sounds painful.

    Like

  14. Simon will still turn sideways and pop up in the air. Then he has to relax and recover, the fat bastard.
    Did you know they turn sideways to present a larger entity to whatever scared them in the first place? And how do we know this? Was there a talking cat on Dick Cavett that let loose with this little gem?
    I think it’s crabs that move sideways. But sideways crab kitten sounds painful.

    Like

  15. Simon will still turn sideways and pop up in the air. Then he has to relax and recover, the fat bastard.
    Did you know they turn sideways to present a larger entity to whatever scared them in the first place? And how do we know this? Was there a talking cat on Dick Cavett that let loose with this little gem?
    I think it’s crabs that move sideways. But sideways crab kitten sounds painful.

    Like

  16. JUNE! You’re killing us with all the mystery code-talk with Hulk. Didn’t your grammar school teacher ever bust you talking in class and ask you if you’d “like to share it with the rest of the class?” Batting averages? Pfffftttt.
    And the horoscope thing? I haven’t looked at one in a very long time but I used to notice that it would vary depending on the publication, being that I am right on the cusp of two signs and all. Why…do you think we’re cosmic sisters? I don’t have half the funny in me that you have, though I do consider myself very sardonic. But our hair, age and weight is similar!
    Siren, I was beginning to worry about you. Glad you popped up. If you don’t show, we miss you!
    Thank you to all of you for my birthday wishes!

    Like

  17. i do not have time today to read all the comments. my major loss.
    however, i do wish to say it should be illegal to have two bad days in a row.
    court on monday. then i can really tell him to eff off.

    Like

  18. PJ who lost 20 lbs in 6 weeks with WW 14 years ago. And it's still gone. Needed the meetings to stay encouraged. says:

    Settle down. I’m sure June was just asking Hulk the difference between 1st base and 3rd base, him being an expert on scoring and all.

    Like

  19. PJ who lost 20 lbs in 6 weeks with WW 14 years ago. And it's still gone. Needed the meetings to stay encouraged. says:

    Settle down. I’m sure June was just asking Hulk the difference between 1st base and 3rd base, him being an expert on scoring and all.

    Like

  20. PJ who lost 20 lbs in 6 weeks with WW 14 years ago. And it's still gone. Needed the meetings to stay encouraged. says:

    Settle down. I’m sure June was just asking Hulk the difference between 1st base and 3rd base, him being an expert on scoring and all.

    Like

  21. Lisa Pie, I have been feeling bad for you with no rain. I have been through pretty bad droughts twice and they are actually scary.

    Like

  22. Now that summer is here, June, you need to plant something on top of Francis. Ruby has a sweet lily. Perhaps Francis needs something a bit more savory or SPICY. OOH, you could plant a jalapeno pepper plant on him!

    Like

  23. The amish kid who was sexting the 12 year old told police he thought she was 13. He wouldn’t have tried to meet up with a 12 year old. THAT’S plain sick. But 13… not so much. Apparently.
    Matze picture made me laugh and almost choke on the guacamole and chips that I was eating. At 11pm at night. Because I am fat and can’t control my eating.
    I’m all for a BBP WW room. See above. I apparently need accountability and an intervention.

    Like

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