No time left for youuuu

I had a really good time last night, and now I gotta rush out the door again.

I am a gadabout lately.

Dick Whitman met the pets, and Edsel jumped all over his allergic self 4502848 times. I had given a bone to both dogs so they'd stay amused, but Tallulah took BOTH bones and trotted off under the table. Edsel did not even try to get his back. Who is beta?

Anyway, we saw our foreign film and acted all sophisticated and then we came back and I served him some sparkling wine that my mother told me to get. Because I am sophisticated. We sat on my front porch, where there is little pet dander, and Dick Whitman said, "That is one enormous bug on your porch, there."

It was the BUG! The bug that's been in my house! I mean, not the SAME bug because Tallulah and her corn-nut wreath ate that one, and if you didn't read me yesterday you will think I have gone berserk.

Oh, let's face it. You have thought I went berserk ages ago.

I screeched about how that was the bug, and Dick Whitman said, "Let me get my camera. You can show your blog readers." And he dashed off to his car and got a fancy camera.

"You just…go around with your camera everywhere?" I asked. I mean, I know I'm one to talk, but this was a fancy thing, not my stupid iPhone.

Anyway, the only person who will enjoy this photo is Faithful Reader Siren:

BIG BUG
Isn't it disgusting? And how filthy is my doorway? And look, it needs painted down at the bottom. Like I'll ever go near that part of my door again, knowing this creature was over there. But see what I mean about the antlers? Ugh.

So other than having to look at a giant menacing bug, the evening was lovely. And I continue to not be murdered. Win!

Okay, I have to run. June. Never being home since she turned single.

118 thoughts on “No time left for youuuu

  1. Sadie found a "lost" dog this morning, but was able to track down the owner who had just moved into a house near to where the dog was found. So he wasn't lost yet, but had escaped the safety of his fenced yard to begin an adventure. says:

    Thank goodness we don’t all have to go traipsing around the fields looking for you this morning.
    That bug looks like the bug driving the getaway car on the exterminator commercials. Give me a regular cockroach anytime.

    Like

  2. Sadie found a "lost" dog this morning, but was able to track down the owner who had just moved into a house near to where the dog was found. So he wasn't lost yet, but had escaped the safety of his fenced yard to begin an adventure. says:

    Thank goodness we don’t all have to go traipsing around the fields looking for you this morning.
    That bug looks like the bug driving the getaway car on the exterminator commercials. Give me a regular cockroach anytime.

    Like

  3. susie b -someone who lurks about pieland and is jealous because she hasn't had a date in YEARS...sigh says:

    “oh poor bug, how good would you have looked in 3 pairs of loboutins and skinny jeans! he has the legs for skinny jeans!” D.Y.I.N.G.
    And June – Im greatly afeered for you because how many of those nasty bugs have you seen now? Ima thinking mega-industrial strength Raid may be in order…

    Like

  4. Oh, I wish I hadn’t seen this while eating. Aaaaaaaack. Blecchhhhhh.
    Yes, pray tell, what did Dick do with the bug? It’s the sort of creature that needs to be driven several hundred miles for relocation, methinks.
    And I agree, if a professional photographer took that photo, I would have expected black and white, wind machine, etc., just like June’s own glamour shot. Then she could’ve blown up the photo, framed it, and hung it on her wall near the looming cooter.

    Like

  5. That bug is impressive and I think lu should have a real laurel wreath for ridding you of one. Hopefully she chawed on it long enough to set a ferocious example and that bug was caught during his exodus the hell away from there. Also you have stopped me complaining, for one evening at least, about how it’s ‘big’ spider season in london.

    Like

  6. Sadie brought "lost" dog home with her where he played for several hours with my dog while I contacted the vet on "lost" dog's rabies tag and waited for owner to return my phone call. See? Nothing like "simple dog". says:

    Furry, I did read the saga of simple dog’s escape. Died laughing.
    My story did not live up to simple dog’s. Even if it did, there is no way I could match Hyperbole and a Half.

    Like

  7. Sadie brought "lost" dog home with her where he played for several hours with my dog while I contacted the vet on "lost" dog's rabies tag and waited for owner to return my phone call. See? Nothing like "simple dog". says:

    Furry, I did read the saga of simple dog’s escape. Died laughing.
    My story did not live up to simple dog’s. Even if it did, there is no way I could match Hyperbole and a Half.

    Like

  8. Sadie brought "lost" dog home with her where he played for several hours with my dog while I contacted the vet on "lost" dog's rabies tag and waited for owner to return my phone call. See? Nothing like "simple dog". says:

    Furry, I did read the saga of simple dog’s escape. Died laughing.
    My story did not live up to simple dog’s. Even if it did, there is no way I could match Hyperbole and a Half.

    Like

  9. Hyperbole and a Half is the bomb, and that Simple Dog story SLAYED me. Also, I just got back from a different date with a different boy, because I am a tramp. Hi! Team Tramp!

    Like

  10. What an exciting life you lead!
    I’ve been sweating out in the yard and getting soaked from deep root watering my giant oak trees because it’s a drought here, ya’ know, and my husband is currently preparing for a colonoscopy tomorrow.
    Now that’s exciting!

    Like

  11. A new def for double dating! June, would you care to make comparisons of your two dates, or tell us something about boy #2? Maybe a blog name for him? Or a desciption? Or where you went on your date? Am I pushing it?

    Like

  12. A new def for double dating! June, would you care to make comparisons of your two dates, or tell us something about boy #2? Maybe a blog name for him? Or a desciption? Or where you went on your date? Am I pushing it?

    Like

  13. A new def for double dating! June, would you care to make comparisons of your two dates, or tell us something about boy #2? Maybe a blog name for him? Or a desciption? Or where you went on your date? Am I pushing it?

    Like

  14. No way! I knew it! Come on, June….spill your guts…we ask because we love you. And we’re nosy. Yeah, that, too.

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  15. Texas Kari – sounds like your husband is in for a deep root watering of his own tomorrow.
    We have the opposite of a drought. I have plants rotting in the pots. Not pot plants. Just potted plants.
    June. You impress me with your get up and get out lifestyle. Two men on the string at one time! Or, perhaps there are more? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see! FIMM is right. Perhaps best not to spill about the blog so you can do more spilling here… just a thought. Vicarious living is difficult without the details.

    Like

  16. june, you’re KILLING US!! first you tell us about the kiss, then post and say NOTHING about it the next morning (which i get … you’re classy … you don’t kiss and tell blah blah blah). and now you not-so-subtly mentions a SECOND guy … that we haven’t even NAMED??? seriously, this blog needs to keep up with your exciting life!! 🙂

    Like

  17. Sadie sincerely thanks you before returning June's blog to her amazing social life. Just don't give any matches money. says:

    June, may I hijack your blog for just a minute and ask for thoughts and prayers for SIL’s daughter? Niece is only in her 40s and has had a stroke. Any positive vibes and prayers on her behalf for a full recovery would be greatly appreciated.

    Like

  18. Sadie sincerely thanks you before returning June's blog to her amazing social life. Just don't give any matches money. says:

    June, may I hijack your blog for just a minute and ask for thoughts and prayers for SIL’s daughter? Niece is only in her 40s and has had a stroke. Any positive vibes and prayers on her behalf for a full recovery would be greatly appreciated.

    Like

  19. Sadie sincerely thanks you before returning June's blog to her amazing social life. Just don't give any matches money. says:

    June, may I hijack your blog for just a minute and ask for thoughts and prayers for SIL’s daughter? Niece is only in her 40s and has had a stroke. Any positive vibes and prayers on her behalf for a full recovery would be greatly appreciated.

    Like

  20. Sadie…so sorry about your SIL’s daughter. If at all possible, hope she can get into rehab…the sooner, the better. I will remember her in my prayers.
    June…glad you had a wonderful date. Although you didn’t give us much to go on, Dick sounds like a gentleman, but still fun. I’m sure all of this is a lot of pressure on him…knowing that you’ll write about your dates on your blog.

    Like

  21. Lisa – you are right! He is getting it from both ends – colonoscopy AND endoscopy. A two-fer. Sorry to hear your plants are rotting. I can’t imagine that!
    Sadie – oh my, I am so sorry to hear about your niece. My sister had a stroke at age 31. She recovered beautifully with no after effects. I know it’s hard to get through, but I’m sure your niece will receive excellent care. Keep us posted!
    Is Betty Draper the one who wears the FANTASTIC dresses?
    There has been a Gypsy Wedding marathon on today. On the recommendations of everyone here, I have watched about 4 episodes in a row. UNbelievable!

    Like

  22. Lisa – you are right! He is getting it from both ends – colonoscopy AND endoscopy. A two-fer. Sorry to hear your plants are rotting. I can’t imagine that!
    Sadie – oh my, I am so sorry to hear about your niece. My sister had a stroke at age 31. She recovered beautifully with no after effects. I know it’s hard to get through, but I’m sure your niece will receive excellent care. Keep us posted!
    Is Betty Draper the one who wears the FANTASTIC dresses?
    There has been a Gypsy Wedding marathon on today. On the recommendations of everyone here, I have watched about 4 episodes in a row. UNbelievable!

    Like

  23. Lisa – you are right! He is getting it from both ends – colonoscopy AND endoscopy. A two-fer. Sorry to hear your plants are rotting. I can’t imagine that!
    Sadie – oh my, I am so sorry to hear about your niece. My sister had a stroke at age 31. She recovered beautifully with no after effects. I know it’s hard to get through, but I’m sure your niece will receive excellent care. Keep us posted!
    Is Betty Draper the one who wears the FANTASTIC dresses?
    There has been a Gypsy Wedding marathon on today. On the recommendations of everyone here, I have watched about 4 episodes in a row. UNbelievable!

    Like

  24. Sadie, thoughts for your family.
    Your team name should be Team Tramp. I love it. Now I want to know if I can change parties? I’d like to be a bold new single gal out about the town and not a shy skulking underbitey pup. Aw, who am I kidding, I’m so the underbitey, earses Edsel type.

    Like

  25. Off topic here, but with all the recipe sharing foodies here, just want to recommend the movie Julie/Julia to anyone who has not yet seen it. We just REwatched it(third time I think), and it gets better with each viewing. Really a sweet, fun movie.

    Like

  26. Thank you, everyone for your thoughts and prayers. It means a lot to me. From what I understand, there is still a clot in her brain that must be dissolved, but there is also some talk of possible surgery. Sounds like a long road ahead before rehab can even begin.
    Texas Kari, so glad your sister recovered completely. Gives me hope.

    Like

  27. Sadie, The tricky and frustrating part now will be the hunt for WHY she had a stroke. Be prepared for scary theories like MS cardiac disease, ALS, etc. They will do many tests to rule these things out and to try to prevent her from having any other strokes. For my sister, they first diagnosed her with a rare blood protein disorder but later revised their diagnosis and determined that her stroke was caused by a medication she was taking. All of you will need patience while the doctors figure it out.

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  28. Yay, Texas Kari, glad we could bring you over to the Gypsy team!
    Sadie, saying a prayer for your niece right now.
    Amy from MD-I live in KY but have the ants in my mailbox too! What’s up with that?! I sprayed it with bug killer but it didn’t do any good. I’m at a loss. I look like someone who is insane beating my mail against the sidewalk to get rid of the ants, after I retrieve it every day. 😉
    June-I can’t wait to hear about your new fella!

    Like

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