First of all, I am being stalked by somebody in Match.com. Not by Daniel Boone or Dick Whitman, and I am cracking my own self up with those phony names I have for the two decent normal men I met on there. Some OTHER guy.
He seemed okay at first, and he was funny and kind of reminded me of Faithful Reader Hulk, except not a Republican like Faithful Reader Hulk. No offense, Faithful Reader Hulk. I wonder how many times I can say "Faithful Reader Hulk" in this post?
At any rate, he asked if he could call me and I was all…well…okay, but not tonight because I am busy. I was busy thinking about Faithful Reader Hulk, as you do. But the guy called that night–twice–and has called 340598205 times since. "Hi, June, this here's Stalky StalkerLonely. Just calling to see how yer doin.' "
I mean, really? How many times do you need to call a person and they don't return the call before you get the hint? I'll bet Faithful Reader Hulk would've gotten the hint.
Last night I was working like a demon. In fact, I took this picture with the web camera while I was trying to open something and close something else all up on here:
It pretty much encapsulates my evening. I canNOT get this stupid project done for the statistics company where I freelance and I'm certain at this point they wish to shoot me in the head and feed me to Faithful Reader Hulk. So I was opening one document and closing another and taking sneaky shots of myself and eating a pen when:
For the love of all that is holy.
"Haaaahh, Jooone! Stalky here agin! Jist seein' if you're around."
Okay, guess what. I AM NEVER GOING TO BE AROUND.
Thank God for caller ID. And for Faithful Reader Hulk.
In news that does not concern my newfound love life, we need to pick a book for book club. So far the suggestions have been:
The Road to Wellville
The Corner of Bitter and Sweet
You know what? There was more and I can't find the suggestions. Try combing through my effing comments for just one thing. Easy it is not. Faithful Reader Hulk might be easy, but this? Nosir.
So if you have more suggestions, make them TODAY during the day, not tonight, and let's decide on a book before tomorrow morning. Vote now or forever hold your peace.
And the first person to come to book club and say, "I'm here but I didn't read the book!" gets a bitch slap from Faithful Reader Hulk.