Edsel is in love. Story at 11. Or right now, if you just read my blog.

The hideousness of my day yesterday was not to be believed. I mean, no one DIED or anything. But I had one of those work days where I was overwhelmingly, gonna-cry-any-second busy. And you know what's a delightful idea? Come on over to your coworker's cubicle and ask her how it's going when she's on … Continue reading Edsel is in love. Story at 11. Or right now, if you just read my blog.

From the Queen of England to the recluse of hell.

The other day at work a brown recluse crawled into my coworker Vilhelm Oyster's cubicle. We work on the ground floor of a very old warehouse building. I shudder to think of what else is lurking down there. Vilhelm murdered said spider, because he is manly that way, and then put it under a jeweler's … Continue reading From the Queen of England to the recluse of hell.

I’ve been looking so long at these picture’s of you

I forgot to tell you that when I was on my date with Dick Whitman the other night, I read his tarot cards. He is going to meet a Libra in October and I already hate that wench. Anyway, he said, "I had my tarot cards read before, in 1989. My sister read them for … Continue reading I’ve been looking so long at these picture’s of you

If I had a soul, we’d be seeing the window to them

I need your help, faithful and not-so-faithful readers. Recently I had my eyes examined and shockingly my eyes did not get worse this year. You have no idea what a miracle that is. They get worse EVERY year. In fact, my doctor always does this kind of morbid sigh. "Mmmm. Wow. Worse again, June." But … Continue reading If I had a soul, we’d be seeing the window to them

In which June has a drink with an old boyfriend with whom she was completely obsessed and lives. Could someone go back and tell my 1988 self that this was possible? Thanks.

I met him in seventh grade. We had English class together. In seventh grade, one would be hard-pressed to guess whether I was male or female. I was androgynous before it was cool. So to say I began a torrid romance with Giovanni Leftwich in seventh grade would be very far from the truth. By … Continue reading In which June has a drink with an old boyfriend with whom she was completely obsessed and lives. Could someone go back and tell my 1988 self that this was possible? Thanks.

Birthday. (Hey, did you know I recently had a birthday?)

I know I already posted today, and me posting a second time makes me officially annoying, but I have a bunch of mystery gifts from all y'all and I want to know who sent them so I can thank you. You know I don't like a fuss. The redwoods called. Want me to stop destroying … Continue reading Birthday. (Hey, did you know I recently had a birthday?)

Wherein there is no mason jar, but there are pickles

Last night, Laurie and I went out to celebrate (are you ready?) MY BIRTHDAY. Have you ever known anyone, other than, say, the Queen of England, who can stretch her birthday into a longer period? Laurie said she'd take me anywhere I wanted to go for dinner, and it took me eight seconds to say, … Continue reading Wherein there is no mason jar, but there are pickles