Of Mice and Men

I love it when my little murderers are here.

Mowse Henry and Winston worked their magic, as usual. You know, Mr. Horkheimer would EAT his rodents, leaving me nothing to clean up.

They leave today, and that will be sad. Henry even decided to like me after all.

He glared at me not as menacingly from behind the computer yesterday, and even let me scritch his head parts. Y'all are right. Henry is the photogenic-ist cat possible.

Other than the part where we murdered innocent field mice, we had a lazy day here at House O' June yesterday.

Luonme I managed to hit Tallulah in the head not once but twice with Edsel's rubber hammer toy, and as a result she became afraid of the rubber hammer toy and spent many many hours lying on top of me yesterday. If I were her I'd be afraid of ME, not the toy, but I am not a dog. I read our book club book (Three Dog Life, for those of you who don't know. We're meeting here July 31 to discuss. Go get it.) all afternoon around the hot, not-so-wonderful-smelling body of my Lu.

When I got up to read outside, she got on my lap out there. When I was tired of being eaten by rare diseased bugs, I moved to the angry chair, where Talu got on me again. Finally, we resided on the couch. I was the wind beneath her haunch.

Roger also had kind of a relaxed day. What I like about kittens is they don't just sleep. They completely pass out like they've been doing beer bongs with the brother floor.

Did you have a brother floor? In your dorms? Was that just my stupid school? One time I went to the shower down the hall and two guys from my brother floor taped everything to my wall in the time I was gone. Alarm clock, makeup, papers, my cafeteria card. Stupid brother floor.

My camera tells me what time I took photos, and this was like an hour later. No, really, Roger. Try to calm down.

When I wasn't reading and watching my pets in REM, I was emailing with Daniel Boone, who by the way lives in Raleigh and my friend Laura called him Sir Walter Raleigh and I am FURIOUS I didn't think of that for his blog name. It is an excellent moniker. Anyway, I was gonna tell you what it is about Daniel Boone that makes women like him. I mean, it makes ME like him, and every woman I discuss this with says, Yes. That is what works for us.

When I was still on Match.com (I dropped out. It is overwhelming enough to like two boys. I am not Violet on It's a Wonderful Life. I cannot like every boy), many men said, "I don't want to email with you for weeks on end. I want to meet."

My assumption would be that men think the chatting thing is idle and time-wasting, and let's get together and see if we are attracted to each other. But see. The thing is? For women, the chatting can make or break the attraction part. We need the talking. We chat chat chat. And when we find a man who talks back? We love him.

Look  at how many women on here got a crush on Faithful Reader Hulk. You know why? He has the gift of the gab! We say something in the comments, he comments back. He engages in conversation.

And this is what Daniel Boone has done. I write to him, he actually addresses the thing I said, and adds something. It is sad that I even have to celebrate this accomplishment, but you women know what I mean. Men either don't answer you or answer in the least-possible number of words, usually.

I don't mean to disparage Marvin, really I don't, because he is a decent person. But if I were out of town somewhere, or he'd been working a lot, I would call him, all excited to get to talk to him, and I'd tell him some big story and he'd say, "Hunh." Or "verrrrry good," which was his way of saying "I could not care less about this story and cannot wait to get off the phone to return to the documentary I am watching on YouTube."

I'd always say, "Why do I forget, over and over again, that you are no fun to talk to?"

It didn't seem like that big of a deal at the time because Marvin was funny and liked our pets and, you know, came home at night and so forth. But maybe it contributed to our demise. I couldn't really talk to him.

I think men either have this skill or they don't. Hulk does. Daniel Boone does. And know Hulk is gonna say, "Then why am I getting no women?" Perhaps, Hulk, you should USE your gift on dates and stop texting me from the urinal.

Remind me to tell you about the old man I met on my dog walk yesterday. Speaking of men who talk. Oh! So cute, he was. Also, my entire family is in India right now, or flying there as we speak, so please think good, malaria-free thoughts of them.

I mean, my ENTIRE family is not there, but my cousin Maria's wedding is now and I think I have more relatives IN India than here at the moment. And yes, I am making them bring me back a sari. I can just throw on my sari and go! Convenient.

Okay, happy 4th. Every year for the last 14 years, I made Marvin listen to the entire 4th of July chapter from Little Town on the Prairie, and as soon as he gets here to get the cats I plan to have the book open and bar the door.

"Verrrrrrry good."

107 thoughts on “Of Mice and Men

  1. Susie b.- I was going to make a wisenheimer comment about how on my nerves my husband has been lately, but after reading your comment, I won’t. Thank-you for showing me that I need to appreciate the annoying parts as well as the awesome parts, because all of the parts could be gone in an instant.
    I am very sorry for your loss.


  2. Pardon my ignorance, but …what is a brother floor? June, I love the pic of you with Lu all up in your bizness (or lap). Looks like love to me. Plus your eye there looks gorgeous. I know, I’m weird. But I speaketh the truth. And sleeping Roger? So cute I can hardly stand it! Makes me want to go get a cute kitty of my own. Unfortunately with my jealous and kitty-hating dogs, it’d end up looking like that mouse.


  3. My husband is a talker. He’s great to go places with when you don’t know anyone. He has no problem striking up a convo with just any old person. And people love him. He has a certain something about him that people just warm up to. Lots and lots of people can’t stand me. Him? Universally adored.
    I, too, understand the blog crush on Hulk. In addition to being good at the conversation, he’s funny and tenderhearted… as evidenced by his devotion to Hulkette. It’s endearing. Every time he says “and why am I still single?” I think “yeah. Why is he?”
    Say “hey” to Marvin. I kind of miss his sorry ass. Although this blog has gotten way more interesting with all the vicarious dating of the mystery men!


  4. Long time reader of the blog, very recent
    devotee of the comments. The first day I read them all the way through Hulk commented many times, almost always suggesting people were
    “assbags.” Even though I didn’t know the context/origin of that thread, it cracked me up. The most loveable thing about him is his
    love of Hulkette. I learn so much on this blog.
    Reference: manhole cover.


  5. I always say – when the dogs and cats here just sprawl out – that they know they are safe and loved. This especially warms my heart when one-balled Pete lays on his back with all his Peter regions waving in the breeze because I know how abused he was and how scared he used to be (and still is).
    People have a crush on Hulk? Who?? Is it Marzipants? I think that is how they role in Austra-ian Land! 😉
    Can I possibly put one more dash in my comments? —— Why yes – I can!


  6. Dear best friend of mom whose initials certainly are not G-W-E-N,
    The comments are the best part. Hulk is a delightful part of the best part. Also I totally made up manhole cover as a euphemism but continue to love self.
    Sent from my me phone


  7. Amish Annie although I will say good communication is the X-factor for happy, healthy relationships. That and...other stuff. Uh, hi to all the Moms*smile* says:

    I keep responding to the communication thing but I sound like such a freaking windbag, I just had to delete myself.
    Would love to see a picture of Lu on your lap, how cute, a big girl still wanting love from her momma.
    Mother’s best friend, welcome! I love it how we have Dick Whitman’s mom here, Danny Boone’s mom, Pal from Ma’s mom, Mother, and now Mother’s best friend.


  8. I too must confess for crushing hard on Hulk. His dry wit and snappy comebacks make him an excellent commentatoror…or.
    I think gals today are used to being treated like crap. Some even like the bad boys on purpose to have the experience. I think when ladies meet Hulk, they don’t know how to react because he’s intelligent, polite and well spoken. He owns a home, has a steady job and not only loves, takes responsibility for, but participates in his daughter’s life.
    Then again I could have this totally wrong and Hulk’s standards could be set way too high.


  9. Dear June,
    I just wanted you to know that I was unable to read your blog at work today. I have, in the past, read your blog at work. But today, when I clicked on the Bye Bye Pie link in my blogroll, I got this message: “This page has been blocked for your protection. Reason – SEXUAL CONTENT”.
    I’m not sure what all this sexual content is (I may have missed it completely), but I’m getting the idea it may be about a Dick. Or a Daniel. Dick and Daniel. Dick and Daniel did Raleigh with Walter. I don’t know. In any case, SEX, June…I was blocked from your blog because of SEX. Just thought you should know.


  10. Love the pictures of the precious (snoozing) pets, as usual. You’re so nice to share those, June.
    Add me to the list of those who have a cyber crush on Hulk, for more than his frequent comments, which certainly do show intelligence and a great sense of humor – see reasons as listed by Duffy above. In addition, he’s a Republican, he attends church with his daughter, and the list goes on… Swoon!


  11. Mother’s best friend, How could you possibly have read June’s blog and NOT the comments? I’ll bet a lot of things make much more sense now… I am in the middle of a two week road trip and just found time to catch up on the blog but won’t have time to read previous days’ comments until I get back home and it’s killing me. I feel like I’ve missed so much.
    Love your kitty & doggie pictures. I miss Henry. He is so big now, and so handsome.


  12. I still crush on Hulk even though he is a Republican. Gotta have some flaws.


  13. Hulk (And I am totally for welfare as long as the person is doing everything he/she can to get back on their OWN two feet...there are others but I GOTTA GO!) says:

    I am TOTALLY for a woman’s right to choose…


  14. I concentrate on the Indians game. I yell at the TV, I cheer, I pout. Typical stuff…


  15. I concentrate on the Indians game. I yell at the TV, I cheer, I pout. Typical stuff…


  16. I concentrate on the Indians game. I yell at the TV, I cheer, I pout. Typical stuff…


  17. So June are you going to see if Marvin will let you have Henry & Winston every other weekend so they can kill rodents, bugs and teach Rodger & Andy how to be hunters?
    Hope you had a great weekend with all the boys-furry and otherwise! 😉


  18. Wasn’t it the same actress, but the movie “Oklahoma!” where the girl, Ado Annie, liked all they boys? “I cant say no”?
    I cannot be certain.
    But perhaps.


  19. Hey! I don’t normally comment, but always read! I moved from Greensboro a year ago. (To Texas.. thank you Dell). When I first moved to Greensboro from Texas (again.. thanks Dell).. I went through 4 people before I found Trisha at the Aveda salon in Friendly Center. I am extremely picky. She is in her twenties and trains other people and teaches classes. She is AWESOME! So if you were looking for someone in your area.. there you go. 🙂 I would drive to the moon for someone I trust… so I understand.


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