By the way, Marvin did not have a bunch of plastic surgery after our wedding. This is me with dad. In case you were slow.
So because today could potentially suck, I have decided to accentuate the positive and list many reasons why I am glad I married Marvin even though it didn't work out.
1. Mt. Everest. Before I met Marvin, I did not know one thing about Mt. ridiculous Everest. Now I can tell you all about sherpas, and base camps, and Tenzing Norgay, and I have no idea why this information would ever be useful in my life, because you know what an adventure-seeker I am and how I cannot wait to clip on my crampons and head up that hill, but I am still glad I learned a new thing. Including the word "crampons." And that I saw many many many documentaries that showed us dead frozen climbers.
2.iPods. If I had never married Marvin, I never would have been interested in owning an iPod, and Marvin was, like, the first iPod owner in the country, practically. He was Adam of the iPod. I would have thought an iPod was some kind of computer pea or something. Which makes tons of sense. But I don't know what I'd DO without my pod of i now. Love it! Can listen to Slap My Bitch Up any time I want!
3. Books of stamps. I remember thinking Marvin was such a grownup, having books of stamps. It was a thing that would never occur to me, to plan ahead and have a whole gaggle o'stamps. In the past I had always had a letter and went around saying, "Does anyone have a stamp?" and more than half the time whatever I was mailing never got sent. Due to the stamp thing. And speaking of not mailing stuff:
4. Paying bills. You know, on time. I remember I once got one of my 349483 department store credit card bills and the minimum payment due was so exorbitant due to the part where I never paid my bills, that I circled the amount due and wrote "Yeah, right!" next to it. They canceled my card after that, on a shocking note. But Marvin always said paying bills on time is a matter of pride, and do you know I have remained fiscally responsible? Ish? Since he's been gone?
5. Ruined songs. Thanks to Marvin, I will always sing the wrong words to songs because he always sang the wrong words thinking he was high-larious. Elton John's Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me will always be "Don't let your son go down on me." And Shower the People You Love with Love is permanently, "Showerlee people." Because Marvin is mature. He has also instilled in me a deep hatred for any singer who takes one syllable and makes it go on for 87 minutes. "Iiiiiiiifffffff Iiii-ye-ye-ye should stayyyyy-ay-ay-ay…."
6. Rush. Okay, that isn't remotely true. I will never embrace stupid Rush and their stupid songs and stupid stupid stupid shenanigans.
So I guess things could be worse. I could wish the last 13 years had never happened. But I am glad they did. My wedding day was still the best day of my life and I'm glad I married Marvin even if we weren't meant to last until our golden years.
Litter happens, you know?