Blogger with Benefits

I am sorry to tell you that I will not be addressing the topic of glasses frames today, and I know you are sad. But I heard you and LEOPARD IT IS!

Okay. Kidding. I just heard 4027838492 people go, "NOOOOOOO!"

Last night I went with my friend Laura and Mary-Tyler-Moore date Dick Whitman to see Friends with Benefits.

Remember on Mary Tyler Moore? How she'd go on dates with good-looking men and they'd drop her off at the door and you never really got to know them? That is kind of all y'all and Dick Whitman. I just throw his name out there and show you an elusive picture and that's all you get.

Dw Lest you think D. Whitman is whipping something up at the stove, you should know he is as into cooking as I am. I was basically forcing him to make hummingbird food because his feeder was empty.

Dick Whitman has a really cool house and I have informed him I am moving in. I think when you have known someone seven weeks, and you are married to someone else, and when that someone you are moving in with is deathly allergic to pets, that there is no other next right step than to gather your things and your 60 pets and move right in. But if you saw that cool house you would make no sense, either.

Porch
Here is a blurry shot of Dick Whitman's porch. Note the spilled hummingbird food.

Anyway, Friends with Benefits was funny, of course, and for those of you who have seen it, my friend Dave says "Strictly dickly" all the time, so I know for sure that is his line. Also, is there any way I could get Mila Kunis' body yet continue my torrid affair with Chik-Fil-A? Please advise.

That is all I have to tell you, except that Tallulah has not had a bath since January because Marvin used to lift her into the tub, and I know I could probably do it if I had to, but I have had this fear I would drop her and break all of her legs. However, she is sitting next to me right now:

Luis
And decaying bodies in rainforests smell better. I really need to address this issue today. Look at her giant ET back foot. I love Talu. {News flash.}

Don't forget that a week from today we will be meeting here for book clurb. Clurb. What the hell is wrong with me. We will be discussing Three Dog Life. Click Mince Words with June for the deets. Who is annoying? Deets.

Clurb.

Carp.

 

 

96 thoughts on “Blogger with Benefits

  1. I think the baby birds were named Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, and Bruce. No?
    I also asked for a butt shot of Dick Whitman (hi, D.W.’s mom!). However, I must say he has a hot back.
    Around here there are a lot of dog washing places that are not too expensive. One of them, you take your dog there, they will lift your dog into the tub for you, you wash and rinse, and they lift the dog back out of the tub. You no have places like dis?
    Talu is also “smexy.” (In this case, smelly + sexy.)

    Like

  2. June, when was the last time you made a tinkle?
    What? That was less personal a question than why you need a vagina goalie.

    Like

  3. Dear June,
    You make my humingbird necter boil. I’m thinking we should get sudsy together. Whip up some foamy goodness. Lather us together, silly. Gracious sakes… then dry off with fluffy towels….
    Lovingly,
    Dick

    Like

  4. Dear June,
    You make my humingbird necter boil. I’m thinking we should get sudsy together. Whip up some foamy goodness. Lather us together, silly. Gracious sakes… then dry off with fluffy towels….
    Lovingly,
    Dick

    Like

  5. Dear June,
    You make my humingbird necter boil. I’m thinking we should get sudsy together. Whip up some foamy goodness. Lather us together, silly. Gracious sakes… then dry off with fluffy towels….
    Lovingly,
    Dick

    Like

  6. Amish Annie, the last question reminded me of a 1970's short lived drama called James At 15, starring Lance Kerwin. You do allow dorks on the bus, don't you? says:

    Okay, I have been Facebook phobic. But I didn’t want to be left off the Cooter bus. So after thinking about it and wringing my hands and driving my kids crazy with questions about it, I jumped in and got The Face. Just so I could hop on the bus. But then I got all excited and did The Face for my work. And then I got even more excited and started a blog on my work website. All within the last few days. All because I didn’t want to be left off that damn Cooter bus. What am I? 13 again?

    Like

  7. Cathy from Colorado here,
    Hi Anita (((waving))) still not in?????? I really think I requested correctly twice????? I feel like I am a teenager waiting for the phone to ring,,,,,,
    HELP need my BYE BYE PIE FB FIX!

    Like

  8. Did you have any luck with bathing Talu? If she’s tall enough, you can just lift her front legs in first then maneuver her back ones in. No lifting. I have to do my sharpei that way. Or you can pick her up, get in the tub with her, and set her down gently. I’ve had to do both with my stubborn hidey dogs.

    Like

  9. Cathy from CO here,,,,,,,,thanks I sent another request and I had my 19 year old FB literate daughter witness this LOL! Fingers crossed 🙂

    Like

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