198 thoughts on “June hates everything. So look at Edsel.

  1. Amish Annie, I am glad I wasn’t the only one thinking South Dakota. I guess we know our state abbreviations. AL, AK, AZ AR, CA…
    Now that “Nifty Fifty” song if going to be stuck in my head.

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  2. I took Dad of Cosmo’s Black Beach as being in South Dakota instead of San Diego. Because I am a dork.
    I never thought of Cosmo’s Dad as being anything but exceptionally strange, quite quirky and figured he could rock either way. He makes me laugh a lot though. Like so many other commenters here.

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  3. Nope, as a San Diegan I can attest that Black’s Beach is not necessarily a gay beach, just a nude beach.

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  4. Dad of Cosmo, isn’t Black’s Beach in San Diego a predominantly gay, nude beach?
    Not judging by any means, but by most of your comments I thought you to be of a heterosexual nature.
    If there was one place I could go on vacation, it would be San Diego. Whatg a fabulous place. Ahhhhhh.

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  5. OJ, I get shots under both my kneecaps once a quarter to keep me able to walk without too much pain. Yes, the shots there are very uncomfortable. Thinking of you with the moles, I am pasty white and when I was a teenager I would put on the baby oil and iodine mix and burn (never tan). So I have had several removed from my back and the waiting is never fun.
    Getting old is not for sissies.
    And Juuuuneeee, we got a flat screen as our Christmas gift to each other and I thought we were the last people on earth to get one.

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  6. I, too, had the melanoma as I am sure I have obsessively mentioned many, many times before. I had a six cm spot cut out of my face. Pretty! The spot had been there for as long as I could remember. I had it looked at every year and it was fine. And then, suddenly, it wasn’t. Weird stuff, cancer.
    But the good news is it’s visible and treatable and curable. So good on you for following up. I get my once over in three weeks. Yay! I secretly love the attention. Or something like that.
    Is anyone else looking forward to the Pal/Zadge throwdown?

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  7. Oh OJ…sending positive thoughts your way…what a freakin’ day!
    Kelly Pie…the witnesses from the gas station, Mc.Donalds, etc. all said she showed no sign at ALL of intoxication or distress. The ones who were passing her on the highway said she had a crazy determined look on her face and the way she was driving was like she was on a mission, of sorts. It sounded bizarre.
    I agree that some drinkers can cover it very well and family members do sometimes find themselves in major denial. Her husband has some major issues going on inside. Makes you feel particularly sorry for the survivor boy who the dad is now raising.
    Just Paula…I’m almost sorry I watched the damn thing. No redeeming value to it at all.
    Bring on that housewives reunion I missed…oh, yeah…I guess that has even LESS redeeming value!

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  8. P.S. Whoever said that thing about the BBC Torchwood? YES, we have watched every last speck of that. Captain Jack Harkness may be the one boy in the world I would go temporarily straight for.
    Not sure why I felt I had to come back here hours later and announce that, but there you have it.
    Also, I’m so glad everyone else has obsessed over the spot, now, too. I don’t feel so alone any more.

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  9. Wow OJ… hang in there… I’ve got spots, moles, diddlies everywhere… used to go to Black’s Beach in SD…. got one on my…. oh well… Hey Hulk all your body tans…. its fun to put lotion on… there are some really nice boat shoes available that have terry cloth inside… comfy without socks

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  10. Wow OJ… hang in there… I’ve got spots, moles, diddlies everywhere… used to go to Black’s Beach in SD…. got one on my…. oh well… Hey Hulk all your body tans…. its fun to put lotion on… there are some really nice boat shoes available that have terry cloth inside… comfy without socks

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  11. Wow OJ… hang in there… I’ve got spots, moles, diddlies everywhere… used to go to Black’s Beach in SD…. got one on my…. oh well… Hey Hulk all your body tans…. its fun to put lotion on… there are some really nice boat shoes available that have terry cloth inside… comfy without socks

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  12. JUNE: We don’t have a flat-screen TV either. So that makes two of us. 🙂

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  13. Joann, so proud of your labia. I know in my heart you will be hearing good news from the doctor soon.
    Y’all were on fire today. It was fun catching up this afternoon.

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  14. I kept scrolling up to check on the banner while reading comments. I recognize the pink dogwood blossoms because I have a tree in my yard. Cherry blossoms have five petals, not four. And the brown spot? Never saw it before, but now will never miss it.
    OJ, I’m glad the nurse is putting a rush on your biopsy and will call you no matter what. Does your doctor know that his patients are having to wait extra days to find out bad news every time the nurse is on vacation? Let him know, please! Yes, I’m grouchy about people putting their own comfort/convenience/whatever before the well-being of their patients or customers who are paying thier salaries. I’m a 64-year-old retired middle school teacher, so nothing frightens me, least of all the person in charge of a business that wants me for a customer. Please tell the doctor what those ninnies are up to.

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  15. Texas Kari who didn't have coke running out of the refrigerator, but DID have coffee running out of the maker and down onto the floor, just like June did.

    Original Joann,
    I’m sorry about the biopsies. I believe Furry has been down this road and so have I. It’s so incredibly hard to wait. It’s the worst part. I’ve read before that patients report waiting for results is more stressful than the actual results even if they are not so wonderful. I believe it! I’ve not had melanoma, but I’ve had basal and squamous and they are easy to deal with and remedy. My mother has had melanoma and I have learned that there are many kinds and most can be successfully removed. Try to remind yourself that melanoma is very rare.
    Everything’s going to be OK. We’ll wait with you. And pray for you. And remind you to breathe.

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  16. I just got home and now I see that spot on the woman in the banner. I think it’s an apron melanoma.
    Also her two ruffly sleeves don’t match.
    And I just set my tivo to record that HBO show on Diane Schuler tomorrow.

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  17. OJ, on the kneecap? Ouch! Sounds like it’s time for you to visit your wine room, mainly to guard it from 40 curious teenagers.

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  18. Carla – I wish I hadn’t been eating when I read your post.
    Joann – Labia check, ass measuring, and forty teenagers? In one day? I’d kill myself.
    When I first saw the Edsel photo, I was really worried because it looks like a mounted taxidermied deer head type thing on a wall.
    Hulk – No black tennis shoes. The rest of your choices seem fine to me. How about Tevas?
    Only June could garner hundreds of comments from such a short post.

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  19. Okay, I’m back.
    The good news is the labia is healthy. Woot for that!
    The ass, however has grown progressively larger.
    Aaaand: She didn’t like the strange color of a mole on my kneecap, so she took that off for biopsy. And let me tell you, I’m no baby, but that shot to numb you hurts like a bugger in the kneecap.
    And then she said about a mole on my leg, “I don’t like the looks of that one at all.” Which is not something a hypochondriac likes to hear. So, she took that off, too.
    And even better? The nurse told me she’d call me if the biopsy results required more treatment. I asked her how long that would take and she said about a week to ten days. But she said, the following week she is going on vacation and none of the other girls like to make the phone calls because they don’t like telling anyone if there’s MELANOMA involved.
    I said to her, “Oh My God, you said the M Word. Now, I will begin hyperventilating.”
    She’s putting a rush on my biopsy and she’s calling me no matter what the results is.

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  20. We wore topsiders in high school. We needed them to outrun the dinosaurs. I still love the look and they are so great on your feet. Plus, too? When I see them I think “boat” which makes me think “money” which we all know makes a man go up on the desirable scale. (And I was not implying fake “boat” and phony “money”. That was me thinking. In quotes.)
    Here’s a joke for you Hulk:
    Husband reads a book on how to be the king of your castle. So he says “Wife! I am the king of this castle. Tonight you will make me a gourmet meal, give me a neck rub, bring me my paper and bring me a beer while I watch the game on tv. And when I get up in the morning you will have my breakfast ready. And then, who do you think will comb my hair and get me dressed?”
    Wife answers “The undertaker. Unless I have your dumb ass cremated.”

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  21. OJ wins for worst day ever. I think if I were confronted with two of those… what, three things? Four things? I would just throw in the towel and call in sick to life that day.
    I hate having a sore throat, because it is all I can think of. And yes, I just ended that sentence in a preposition and am not going back to correct it, even though I obviously had time to do it since I am now just writing a book about it.

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  22. And, Hulk? Ima open a can of whoopass on you if you dis the boat shoes for men again…
    My husband wears them and they are totally “in” in Massachusetts. Maybe it’s a coastal thing? Most men here totally wear them.
    I dunno.
    Anywho, white tennis shoes are a waaaaaay better choice than black.
    And flip-flops for the Hawaiian theme, too.
    And I loved that joke up there!! heeeee

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  23. Speaking of Team Henry, how is he doing? Has June nursed him back to health only to have Marvin return and take him away again? June, you’re such a good mom.

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  24. Hulk: Don’t take Beltran b/c I want him for the Braves. He’s said he wants to stay in the NL, anyway. Where’s Thome these days? I’d love to see him get back to Cleveland.
    The 2010s version of boat shoes is those casual, Keds-esque tennis shoes. Oh! Or! I bet you could wear Keens… those open but not open-toed hiking-ish shoes… like this: http://www.zappos.com/search/brand/427/filter/txAttrFacet_Gender/%22Men%22/zc1/%22Shoes%22

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  25. “Get lei’d”…That was a chuckler.
    A joke:
    The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in
    full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe and was
    telling the men how to give the necessary help and assurance to their
    partners at this stage of the pregnancy.
    She said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is
    especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make
    delivery that much easier.” Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try
    to stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.”
    She looked at the men in the room, “Gentlemen, remember — you’re in this
    together. It wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared
    experience would be good for you both.”
    The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.
    After a few moments, a man named Wayne at the back of the room slowly raised
    his hand.
    “Yes,” said the Instructor.
    “I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag
    while we walk?”

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  26. “Get lei’d”…That was a chuckler.
    A joke:
    The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in
    full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe and was
    telling the men how to give the necessary help and assurance to their
    partners at this stage of the pregnancy.
    She said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is
    especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make
    delivery that much easier.” Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try
    to stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.”
    She looked at the men in the room, “Gentlemen, remember — you’re in this
    together. It wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared
    experience would be good for you both.”
    The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.
    After a few moments, a man named Wayne at the back of the room slowly raised
    his hand.
    “Yes,” said the Instructor.
    “I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag
    while we walk?”

    Like

  27. “Get lei’d”…That was a chuckler.
    A joke:
    The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in
    full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe and was
    telling the men how to give the necessary help and assurance to their
    partners at this stage of the pregnancy.
    She said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is
    especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make
    delivery that much easier.” Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try
    to stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.”
    She looked at the men in the room, “Gentlemen, remember — you’re in this
    together. It wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared
    experience would be good for you both.”
    The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.
    After a few moments, a man named Wayne at the back of the room slowly raised
    his hand.
    “Yes,” said the Instructor.
    “I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag
    while we walk?”

    Like

  28. Yesterday a great picture of Lula, today a great picture of Edsel, is tomorrow a Roger day?
    I love comment-roller-coaster days. Nothing to contribute but guffaws. Thanks for the entertainment. Sorry about people’s carpy days. (is that apostrophe correct?)

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  29. Zadge dumped Hulk over a wardrobe malfunction. Harsh! Not as harsh as a screaming labia, but still.
    But Hulk, reconsider the flip flop. A Hawaiian shirt really calls for an all over casual look. Take my advice and maybe you’ll get lei’d!

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  30. SS#2 Pamela, I remember reading somewhere that nobody (family and friends) saw her drinking at any time so they just couldn’t believe she was so drunk when she got behind the wheel.
    However, I know people who have drinking issues and they both hide it very well and are surrounded by people who choose to deny it and hide their heads in the sand.
    What were the witness accounts? I must know!

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  31. Ok. I’ll go with the white tennis shoes. But Hulk, despite his relatively well-kept toe-ular area, does NOT wear flip-flops OR sandals. And boat shoes? Really? Because 1982 called and asked for them back…

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  32. OMG, the Reak Hags of NYC were at their worst last night. I hate each of them in some ways, yet sometimes like each of them at times. But I can’t respect anyone who remains in such disfunction when they don’t have to.

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  33. When I get home I will look for HBO OnDemand or whatever it is for that show. But I can’t get Doggy Day Care OnDemand so I am missing all of that. Oh! But I found a site from CA (I think), a cat sanctuary with hundreds of cats and they have a cam! And they are three hours behind, so I can watch it later. One has to take their cammed animals where they can.

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  34. Zadge. I can totally take you. You are a skinny little mite of a thing. I’m built sort of like a tank. Heavy and indestructible! hee!
    Maybe we could have shared custody? I just adore Edsel so!
    And Hulkie? Even if the Hawaiian shirt is a c*ckblock for some (not for me), the black sneakers have gotta go. I draw the line there. If your toes are not all that presentable, go with some nice topsiders boat shoes. It’s a good look for guys. No socks though. Ack.

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  35. I’d so swiftly snag up Edsel and send his arse to prison, I mean Zadge, who will send him to prison for training should June meet her demise, or ANOTHER can’t live without pup.

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  36. Hulk (You know, I was willing to overlook the the whole John Elway/Denver Bronco thing...and I'm Republican-ish! Remember?)

    I have a helluva a tan though, Zadge…

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  37. Hulk (You know, I was willing to overlook the the whole John Elway/Denver Bronco thing...and I'm Republican-ish! Remember?)

    I have a helluva a tan though, Zadge…

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  38. Hulk (You know, I was willing to overlook the the whole John Elway/Denver Bronco thing...and I'm Republican-ish! Remember?)

    I have a helluva a tan though, Zadge…

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  39. I agree Lisa Pie, but let’s not forget Carla with the blood clot that was hacked upon her leg. The poo and pee spewed upon her shirt. I’m gagging just thinking about it.
    Joann can hide in her wine room and drink herself silly.

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  40. I agree Lisa Pie, but let’s not forget Carla with the blood clot that was hacked upon her leg. The poo and pee spewed upon her shirt. I’m gagging just thinking about it.
    Joann can hide in her wine room and drink herself silly.

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  41. I agree Lisa Pie, but let’s not forget Carla with the blood clot that was hacked upon her leg. The poo and pee spewed upon her shirt. I’m gagging just thinking about it.
    Joann can hide in her wine room and drink herself silly.

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  42. I am sorry, but OJ has everyone’s day beat. Hands down.
    She has FORTY TEENAGERS coming to her house. And that’s AFTER the show and tell and ass measuring fun at the doctor’s.
    This doesn’t even take into account the horrendous sticky mess with the busted cans of coke.
    OJ deserves a pedicure and a new pair of heels for the day she is having.

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  43. Speaking of taking a nap, don’t you think the pie in the banner looks sleepy? Mid-yawny?
    I heart Siren.

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  44. Yes Kelly Pie! They showed her body!
    I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
    The questions I have result from the surveillance video of her and the witness accounts and the phone calls of the children…no indication of drinking!!!
    She obviously did drink but how? When?
    And what the witness accounts of her right before the crash were chilling. Was she on a suicide/murder mission?
    It is baffling.

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  45. Pal from MA: You’re on! I’m 5’10” and Float Like a Butterfly and Sting Like A Bee. I think I can take you.
    OJ: Look how many caring people are thinking about your labia while they go about their day today.
    Hulk: We’ve got to call off our engagement. Hawaiian shirts on white guys in Michigan are sort of a cockblock for me. DID I JUST SAY COCKBLOCK?

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  46. Can one watch HBO on demand if one doesn’t subscribe to HBO? Would kill to see Game of Thrones and would like to see True Blood.

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  47. Thank you Siren for pointing out that the pie lady is obviously doing stuff in her kitchen other then baking. Perhaps she could call Monica for tips on how to get the stain out.
    Who is dissing NPH?? He is adorable and funny and I would love for him to be my BFF. I love that clip from the Tony’s. Go pee before you watch it though.
    Carla’s day is neck to neck with Joann’s. Icky all the way around.

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  48. Thank you Siren for pointing out that the pie lady is obviously doing stuff in her kitchen other then baking. Perhaps she could call Monica for tips on how to get the stain out.
    Who is dissing NPH?? He is adorable and funny and I would love for him to be my BFF. I love that clip from the Tony’s. Go pee before you watch it though.
    Carla’s day is neck to neck with Joann’s. Icky all the way around.

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  49. Thank you Siren for pointing out that the pie lady is obviously doing stuff in her kitchen other then baking. Perhaps she could call Monica for tips on how to get the stain out.
    Who is dissing NPH?? He is adorable and funny and I would love for him to be my BFF. I love that clip from the Tony’s. Go pee before you watch it though.
    Carla’s day is neck to neck with Joann’s. Icky all the way around.

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  50. Amish Annie can ball teams trade for celebrities? No? How about Brett Farve then, that dude just won't go away.

    I also think Pee Wee Herman is a power hitting right hander and would make a nice addition to the Indians team.

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  51. Hulk, might I suggest Ichiro? Also, if you’re just meeting buddies, does it really matter what you wear? Unless, it is fated that tonight is the night you meet “the one.” In which case it’s probably best she knows about the Hawaiian shirts up front.
    On a separate note, this is a good angle for Edsel. If he was on a soap opera, he should insist on always entering from stage left.

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  52. And here I left a comment before reading the comments again – I have to stop doing that. I never know what’s going on. Hulk – yes to the shirt and if it has to be tennis shoes, they should be white.
    OJ, so sorry to hear about your labia. Last time I will think of that today.
    Siren, you crack me up.
    No Housewives here so I can’t relate. There’s enough drama in my life – I don’t need theirs too.
    June, get your dogs some stuff that makes them stop eating poop. That’s really gross.
    Ok back to work. I really do hate everything today.

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  53. Amish Annie can ball teams trade for celebrities? No? How about Brett Farve then, that dude just won't go away.

    Could the Indians possibly trade for one of the right handed Real Housewives?

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  54. Edsel is a handsome dude. And with those teeth, he could get a job as the Barksman for Petrodex.

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  55. Edsel is a handsome dude. And with those teeth, he could get a job as the Barksman for Petrodex.

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  56. Edsel is a handsome dude. And with those teeth, he could get a job as the Barksman for Petrodex.

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  57. I still maintain that if someone wants to experience the effect of watching that ridiculousness, they could save time by smacking themselves in the temple with a ball peen hammer. Same results…you’ll have a splitting headache and will be dumber for the experience.
    New topic: The Indians need a power hitting outfielder, preferrably right-handed. Who should we trade for? Discuss.

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  58. I still maintain that if someone wants to experience the effect of watching that ridiculousness, they could save time by smacking themselves in the temple with a ball peen hammer. Same results…you’ll have a splitting headache and will be dumber for the experience.
    New topic: The Indians need a power hitting outfielder, preferrably right-handed. Who should we trade for? Discuss.

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  59. I still maintain that if someone wants to experience the effect of watching that ridiculousness, they could save time by smacking themselves in the temple with a ball peen hammer. Same results…you’ll have a splitting headache and will be dumber for the experience.
    New topic: The Indians need a power hitting outfielder, preferrably right-handed. Who should we trade for? Discuss.

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  60. Just Paula…you can catch the HBO doc on demand. It created more questions in my mind than it answered. And it is a bit haunting…can’t shake the visual of her body which they actually show dead at the scene!!!! Thankfully, they spare us the sight of the other victims.

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  61. Who the heck is Andy?
    Hulk, valiant effort on changing the topic from RHoNY – wish it had worked.
    Siren, you’re on fire today love it! Have you tried the original BBC Wales version of Torchwood? Perfect way to geek out on scifi!
    Edsel is adorable but is forever ruined for me by the mental image of him snacking straight from the source, so to speak. Makes me queasy just thinking about it.
    And, apropos of nothing and solely just to whine- I have a headache.

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  62. Ok. First of all? The Zadge is going to have to fight me for Edsel. I’m completely and utterly in love with that dog and his teefies and giant earses. So, I’m just saying, if Edsel is going anywhere with anyone other than June, it AIN’T gonna be with The Zadge.
    K? K.
    Also? Siren is high-larious today! Keep up the good work, Siren!
    Also too? I haven’t seen the reunion of RHoNY yet, but I cannot WAIT to see Andy tell those ridiculous shrews to SHUT the EFF up!! Love him.
    Lastly? Original Joann? Man alive. Quite the day you’ve got going there. Best of luck, dear.

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  63. Thank God you quit your new job Siren. It just wasn’t the same without you.

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