June can't keep a man · June's stupid life · My pets

Edsel is in love. Story at 11. Or right now, if you just read my blog.

The hideousness of my day yesterday was not to be believed. I mean, no one DIED or anything. But I had one of those work days where I was overwhelmingly, gonna-cry-any-second busy. And you know what's a delightful idea? Come on over to your coworker's cubicle and ask her how it's going when she's on a deadline. Because 955939503p940f*(@400 people before you didn't just do that.

I was late getting home, and I had a date with the Dick Whitman, there, and as soon as I saw his ludicrous self I cheered up. There is something about Dick Whitman that just makes me giggle as soon as I see him. He is kind of a fussbudget. I think that is why he cracks me up. Other than avoiding vomiting in every way possible, I do not fuss. Or budget. It's interesting to me when someone else fusses.

Also, could Edsel be more obsessed with him? Edsel is passionately in love with Dick Whitman. If you rated the two of us, Edsel would win in the who-is-smitten category.

I made him look at my Norma and Vern pictures. Dick Whitman, I mean. Not Edsel. Who would just eat the pictures. And he liked them! No one can resist my my Norma and Vern shots. Nor my Schwetty balls.

I noticed in the comments people were asking for pictures of my kittens. Here.

Scary
Is this not the most terrifying photo ever? Why has Anderson's soul been stolen by Old Pitch? Look at those soulless eyes. He was a nice cat before Beelzebub took him.

Tude
Here is a picture of Roger, who happens to be sitting next to me right now. I do not know why he is assuming this bizarre let-me-hike-up-my-arm pose.

Babyraj2
Here is a picture that is clear and see-able, which lets you know it was taken by my friend Laurie. A mere two months ago. Who has had an attitude change in those two months? Is it our Roger Dodger?

She also sent me a picture of Roger pooping on her pea gravel in her yard. Does anyone want to see that? I would be more than willing to share it.

Anders
Anderson Cooper is sitting under my chair, on the floor that always looks dirty because SOMEONE, whose name might be JUNE, decided painting the floor LIGHT GREEN was a great idea and now all it does is chip and look awful. June. Won't you hire her to decorate your house? She has some practical and good ideas.

So now you've seen the kittens and you can all shut up. June. The blogger who tells her commentors to shut up. Nice.

I've got nothing else to tell you. Maybe I do but whatever it might be has left the building that used to house my medulla. Because did I mention I had a busy day? Also? If you don't keep up with the comments on this blog, it is a LOT to read in one sitting.  Holy cats. Holy possessed-by-demons cats.

Okay. June out.

P.S. Of course.

I just realized I missed Charlotte's birthday yesterday. Charlotte is the too-cool kid of my friends Renee and Dan. I KNEW the 28th was SOMETHING, but was too busy panicking and crying. Anyway, she is six now, and last time I mentioned her on here, she made Renee call to see how many readers I had because she wanted to determine if she was officially famous.

Charlotte Happy birthday, Charlotte! My tens of readers are thinking of YOU.

158 thoughts on “Edsel is in love. Story at 11. Or right now, if you just read my blog.

  1. GardenGirl :: :: ::When I wake up in Cali there is always a new June post waiting for ME. Since I am on the east coast this a.m., I have to wait for JUNE! Hmmph. says:

    Thanks Sadie. The stories were hilarious! Not insensitive at all.

    Like

  2. GardenGirl :: :: ::When I wake up in Cali there is always a new June post waiting for ME. Since I am on the east coast this a.m., I have to wait for JUNE! Hmmph. says:

    Thanks Sadie. The stories were hilarious! Not insensitive at all.

    Like

  3. GardenGirl :: :: ::When I wake up in Cali there is always a new June post waiting for ME. Since I am on the east coast this a.m., I have to wait for JUNE! Hmmph. says:

    Thanks Sadie. The stories were hilarious! Not insensitive at all.

    Like

  4. Sadie - We scattered my MIL's ashes at sea as she always wanted her ashes scattered over water. My mom has my dad's ashes at home and a friend has part of her brother's ashes inside a necklace that she wears around her neck. It is all good. says:

    After I’m gone, just toast me extra crispy and do whatever you want with my ashes. I don’t think I’ll care by then.

    Like

  5. Sadie - We scattered my MIL's ashes at sea as she always wanted her ashes scattered over water. My mom has my dad's ashes at home and a friend has part of her brother's ashes inside a necklace that she wears around her neck. It is all good. says:

    After I’m gone, just toast me extra crispy and do whatever you want with my ashes. I don’t think I’ll care by then.

    Like

  6. Sadie - We scattered my MIL's ashes at sea as she always wanted her ashes scattered over water. My mom has my dad's ashes at home and a friend has part of her brother's ashes inside a necklace that she wears around her neck. It is all good. says:

    After I’m gone, just toast me extra crispy and do whatever you want with my ashes. I don’t think I’ll care by then.

    Like

  7. Now see. I don’t get the whole saving-the-ashes thing at all. For humans OR animals. And although I can understand the economical side of it, I think all that stuff should just go into the ground as it was in life….in one piece! But thanks for all the hilarious cremation stories. It’s been less than two months since my sweet FIL was cremated and I’m pretty sure even he would have laughed at these comments today.

    Like

  8. Now see. I don’t get the whole saving-the-ashes thing at all. For humans OR animals. And although I can understand the economical side of it, I think all that stuff should just go into the ground as it was in life….in one piece! But thanks for all the hilarious cremation stories. It’s been less than two months since my sweet FIL was cremated and I’m pretty sure even he would have laughed at these comments today.

    Like

  9. Now see. I don’t get the whole saving-the-ashes thing at all. For humans OR animals. And although I can understand the economical side of it, I think all that stuff should just go into the ground as it was in life….in one piece! But thanks for all the hilarious cremation stories. It’s been less than two months since my sweet FIL was cremated and I’m pretty sure even he would have laughed at these comments today.

    Like

  10. In answer to your question dad of Cosmo, too young and don’t you ever forget it! Bad enough I had Hulk’s friends hitting on my daughter, I have to worry about you and my son? Oy!
    By the way, doesn’t Lucy ever get pissed off that your signature line is always Cosmo’s Dad? Why not Dad of Cosmo and the very beautiful Lucy? Hmmm? Poor girl can get a complex.

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  11. Why do I picture Cosmo’s Dad looking like Doc from the “Back To The Future” movies, when he is trying to explain the flux capacitor?

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  12. I do not want to spend eternity on someones shelf or in a sock drawer. Just throw me in the ocean or in a garden or off a mountain, just don’t stick me in a box and leave me hanging around!
    Cosmo’s Dad, thanks for answering the question from the other day. Hope your vein is feeling better.

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  13. CD cut an onion in half and put it on the bump, that really helps.
    When our boxer was around we got never stung, she would chew chew chew all wasps and bees and then they stang her in her flapflapboxermouth and when it was swollen she looked like she had a stroke but that was ok for her, next day she did it again…

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  14. Happy Birthday to Charlotte! Now you are really famous and your kitty will be famous too.
    A dear friend buried her husband’s ashes in the flower bed by their front door. Then she sold her home and moved. I bet if the buyers of her house knew that they would be like Eddie Murphy “…honey, there are dead people in the backyard…” Name that movie.

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  15. Sadie, Sadie, wonderful lady… it is 2 weird bumps… or bimps (like your crazy Slovakian Aunt) buumps/biiimps…… I was at the beach and stung on my foot once, right on my little toe, by a sting wray.. the lifeguard later told me I should have pee’d on it, now, lets talk about a swell time… like a potato-toe….
    how do you pee on your neck?…. very carefully…

    Like

  16. Sadie, Sadie, wonderful lady… it is 2 weird bumps… or bimps (like your crazy Slovakian Aunt) buumps/biiimps…… I was at the beach and stung on my foot once, right on my little toe, by a sting wray.. the lifeguard later told me I should have pee’d on it, now, lets talk about a swell time… like a potato-toe….
    how do you pee on your neck?…. very carefully…

    Like

  17. Sadie, Sadie, wonderful lady… it is 2 weird bumps… or bimps (like your crazy Slovakian Aunt) buumps/biiimps…… I was at the beach and stung on my foot once, right on my little toe, by a sting wray.. the lifeguard later told me I should have pee’d on it, now, lets talk about a swell time… like a potato-toe….
    how do you pee on your neck?…. very carefully…

    Like

  18. Ah, comment of the year Mrs Oh? Just Paula would need to be in the running for that! Don’t even get me started on her stuff.
    I think if I die and become reincarnated, I want to be a pet of someone here at Pie, like sweet Baby.
    Dad of Cosmo? Concrete Jungle? Feeling a little closed in are ye?

    Like

  19. Sadie has a friend who is allergic to bee stings. She freaked when a bee flew into the open car door. Thankfully, the car was stopped at the time. Glad you didn't have a collision, CD. says:

    Cosmo’s Dad, have you tried a paste made from baking soda and a little water for your bee sting? Or maybe you have Benedryl or whatever you are supposed to use. We always used the baking soda paste. Hope you aren’t allergic. If so, I’m thinking you need medical attention.

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  20. Sadie has a friend who is allergic to bee stings. She freaked when a bee flew into the open car door. Thankfully, the car was stopped at the time. Glad you didn't have a collision, CD. says:

    Cosmo’s Dad, have you tried a paste made from baking soda and a little water for your bee sting? Or maybe you have Benedryl or whatever you are supposed to use. We always used the baking soda paste. Hope you aren’t allergic. If so, I’m thinking you need medical attention.

    Like

  21. Sadie has a friend who is allergic to bee stings. She freaked when a bee flew into the open car door. Thankfully, the car was stopped at the time. Glad you didn't have a collision, CD. says:

    Cosmo’s Dad, have you tried a paste made from baking soda and a little water for your bee sting? Or maybe you have Benedryl or whatever you are supposed to use. We always used the baking soda paste. Hope you aren’t allergic. If so, I’m thinking you need medical attention.

    Like

  22. Happy b-day, Charlotte!
    June, thanks for the kitten pics!
    Hulk, too funny!
    Let’s have some more exclamation points!
    Sound like each vet or pet mortuary has its own way of giving back the ashes (I can’t bear the word “cremains” and refuse to use it). Ours sends you simply a small plain cardboard box. Inside is a very thick plastic bag holding the ashes, sealed with a twistie thingie.

    Like

  23. Dad of Cosmo, you are a trip and a half. So did the bee sting you once or twice? Hopefully you are not allergic!
    You said you were stung in the jugular. Do you have one bulging vein now?

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  24. Happy 6th Birthday to Charlotte!
    I wish I was 6 again… Except for the mean 1st Grade teacher!
    I had my dog, Thor, cremated (by himself) & they put his ashes (sealed in plastic) in a suede box. He is now sitting in a box with my Grandmother’s ashes (which are just in a plastic bag). She needs an urn. They both were staying in my father’s sock drawer until I picked them up on my last trip to the US.
    I vote for another kitten… A Girl Kitten! Talu will be thrilled to have more girl power!

    Like

  25. Not to bust the old’ Pie but…. I’m driving home from the grocrey store, the windows are open, and the boxers lips are a flapping, I am wearing a polo shirt, I feel a something…… do you all remember talking about bug and insects?…. I slap at my collar, sting, down into the collar of the shirt, slap again, and grab, a BEE, smashed, pollen, oh god, right on my jugular vein… I am the dude from the movie Mask… Cher is not my Mother…. I am now home, looking in a mirror…. OK not the Mask guy…. it was scary , and I was in the car!!!!

    Like

  26. Not to bust the old’ Pie but…. I’m driving home from the grocrey store, the windows are open, and the boxers lips are a flapping, I am wearing a polo shirt, I feel a something…… do you all remember talking about bug and insects?…. I slap at my collar, sting, down into the collar of the shirt, slap again, and grab, a BEE, smashed, pollen, oh god, right on my jugular vein… I am the dude from the movie Mask… Cher is not my Mother…. I am now home, looking in a mirror…. OK not the Mask guy…. it was scary , and I was in the car!!!!

    Like

  27. Not to bust the old’ Pie but…. I’m driving home from the grocrey store, the windows are open, and the boxers lips are a flapping, I am wearing a polo shirt, I feel a something…… do you all remember talking about bug and insects?…. I slap at my collar, sting, down into the collar of the shirt, slap again, and grab, a BEE, smashed, pollen, oh god, right on my jugular vein… I am the dude from the movie Mask… Cher is not my Mother…. I am now home, looking in a mirror…. OK not the Mask guy…. it was scary , and I was in the car!!!!

    Like

  28. I appreciate you trying to leave a comment, Pris. Glad you liked it! He finally capped out at 500 orders and had to put a hold on it.
    And Annie, the more I watch his videos the more attracted I am to that Israeli piece of man meat.

    Like

  29. When my husband kicks the ole bucket (which he has promised will happen long before my time) he has given me permission (and enough cash) to turn his ashes into a DIAMOND! It’s the most brilliant idea ever! Not creepy at all!

    Like

  30. Amish Annie not gonna say nothin' 'bout the chest hair. Nope, not gonna, can't make me. I do have *some* good taste after all. OKAY I THOUGHT THE DUDE WAS HOT! says:

    Twelve, loved loved loved your present. So funny.

    Like

  31. Twelve! That was the funniest video!!! I laughed so hard when I saw that. I tried to post a comment on your blog but I didn’t do something right, I guess, because I didn’t see it. When I visited his site it said he is overbooked right now. He has 446 jobs in his queue. I added it up and that’s $1,784!!
    Mrs. Oh, you must go to Twelve’s blog and see it. It will cheer you up.

    Like

  32. Every time one of my animals dies, the vet asks if I want the remains. Or cremains. I am horrified. What the hell am I supposed to do with a dead animal or said animals ashes? If they can’t cuddle anymore I don’t want them in the house.

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  33. Thanks, Pal! (And thanks for the plug, Duff!) I had the worst time not telling my husband I got that video before his birthday. Half an hour after he had finally stopped replaying it he burst into laughter all over again.

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  34. Although I’m late with this, Hulk, thank you for making Mrs. Oh laugh with your brilliant comment.

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  35. Anita, I didn’t have my kitty cremated – figured he’d return to the earth just as well (if a little more slowly) if I just buried him whole, so I buried him in the corner of our backyard and bought a river rock with his name carved in it to mark his grave. Cremains could admittedly be anybody, as I think some disreputable (human) crematoriums have proven…

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  36. I love how the conversation here can go back and forth between a little girl’s birthday and cremains and just feel so darn natural. That shot of Anderson makes him look like one of the Egyptian cats that got buried in the pyramid with its owner. Just felt like the conversation wasn’t complete without bringing up mummification.

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  37. Dear Pie Readers, thank you for all the birthday wishes, and for making me famous! Love, Charlotte
    P.S. Auntie June, can you make my cat, Francine McGann O’Brien, famous too?

    Like

  38. Duffy, I so understand your thinking. My wishes are that I remain on life support. As soon as I reach 105 pounds and can fit in the blue dress take me off of support. Instead of leaving money, I’m wanting to leave debt to each person. I think they’ll remember me longer even if not fondly. *grin*

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  39. Duffylou - not only is it good business sense it is better than an urn gathering dust in a closet says:

    Y’all think I’m over the top already, so why disappoint you now. When I’m cremated there will be a pile of titanium and stainless steel plates, rods and pieces parts left over. Rather than have the funeral home profit from recyling the metal, I’ve asked my kids to take the metal. I even went so far as to suggest making jewelry or a small keepsake to remember me.
    After you forget about the heebee jeebees part, it will start to make sense.

    Like

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