June Does NC

/ June

Goodness, I have gadded about this weekend.

On Friday, as you know, if you are one of the .07 people who reads this blog on Saturday, I went to Charlotte to see The Fireman.

Juneseesfireman

I do not know why he is on fire. I guess because there is no way I could draw a fireman's helmet.

Then yesterday I schlepped to Raleigh to see Daniel Boone, aka Sir Walter Raleigh.

Juneseesdaniel
I gave him glasses, but you can barely tell. When I saw D. Boone, I realized we now have the same ding-dang glasses.

Sameglassessameperson
And it's all your guyses' fault, because you PICKED OUT my glasses. So now Daniel Boone and I are EVEN MORE the same person. "Guyses" is a totally fine word.

Anyway, today my tour of North Carolina continues as I traipse to Winston-Salem to see my little artist friend Charlie, who is 28.

Juneseescharlie That is Charlie dressed as an infant, wrapped in a blue blanket with a pacifier. Because I am good at the drawing. Note my hair keeps getting worse as this weekend gets chaotic-ker. Chaotic-ker is a totally fine word.

I took the dogs to daycare for the weekend because I felt sorry for them because I was never gonna be around. Let me go look at the webcam right now to see what they're up to…

Ohhh! They're both following the girl around who cleans up the pee. Maybe they miss me. I can't pick them up till 3:00–the place is not officially open till then. Can you imagine? They are open 3:00 till 5:00 on Sundays. There are some reasonable hours.

Anyway, so seeing Daniel Boone was really fun and we are SO MUCH BETTER OFF as friends. Did I mention we are exactly alike? Did I mention the part where we think we're hilarious is the same, and where we each have 949304 stories is the same, and our neurotic parts are the same? We would have been a disastrous couple.

Sirwalterboone
I took this picture of Sir Walter Raleigh while we were walking around, and I made it the picture that pops up should Daniel Boone call me on my cell phone. So now every time I think of him I will picture him in his pantaloons accented by a snazzy belt.

We went to the museum where we liked all the same things and hated all the same things, and then to lunch…

Thai
where we ordered the same food. Someone eats faster, though. Have I ever told you I am the world's slowest eater?

Jimmygrooms
We saw three men who were clearly dressed for a wedding, unless they just stroll around on a hot Saturday in tuxes and boutonnieres all the time. I mean, it's our state's capitol. Maybe people are fancier there. Anyway, they were eating at Jimmy John's, which cracked us up.

My theory is the wedding was one of those annoying affairs where the church part was at, say, noon and the reception was at 6:00 or something. If you did this on your wedding day I am sorry to offend but that is annoying. You have to hang out in your dress-up clothes, or decide if you want to take OFF the dress-up clothes and put them back on again. You can KIND of do something else but you have no REAL time because in a few hours you have to go to the reception. It messes up the whole day. Have the entire thing in one chunk.

Wedding planning by June. Because her own marriage was a rousing success.

At any rate, D. Boone and I had a wonderful time and I didn't even feel like kissing him at the end of the afternoon or anything. We really have segued to the friends part. So, yay.

Oh, and my Uncle Leo is back in my home town and my mother saw him yesterday. I should have just driven over there. Anyway, he is weak and his color is still off but he was in good spirits because he is always in good spirits. I was thinking maybe I would interview him about the whole thing for this blog, because I want to hear about India and vomiting 86 times post-India and what a hospital in New York is like. I mean, are the nurses more fashionable? Were the bagels good at breakfast? Is the hospital bill gonna be extra-super-expensive because it's New York?

These and other important Qs burn in my brain.

Your roaming pal,

June

92 thoughts on “June Does NC”

  7. Thanks Mother’s Best Friend Who Has Been Entertained by June for Years. My husband I did South Beach years ago; I’ll go dust off that book.
    I guess this means no more stress-eating of massive quantities of M&Ms anymore, huh? Siiiiiiighhhhh…

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  8. PJ – I will defer to the comment made by lisa –
    ” what came out of their bumhole or the bumhole of someone they know or claim to know” *points a finger over there* hehe

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  9. Thanks, Mother’s Best Friend. And Sadie. But not Susie b because she made us all remember the tape worm. Now if you told me it had been made of sugar…that would have been the end of sugar right there.

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  10. Sadie - The second week was the hardest, but it did break the craving for carbs and sugar. Forget sodas. Even diet sodas aren't that great for you.

    My husband and I followed the South Beach diet to get off of carbs. If I remember correctly, I think the first two weeks are protein, cheese, vegetables, eggs, no carbs. No fruit, sugar, bread or anything white. The idea is to stop the body’s craving for carbs. I can’t remember the exact three phases, but we now normally eat low carb meals with the occasional slip up. I usually keep a bar of dark chocolate handy when I need something chocolate. You can find the information on the internet. Just google the South Beach diet.

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  11. Sadie - The second week was the hardest, but it did break the craving for carbs and sugar. Forget sodas. Even diet sodas aren't that great for you.

    My husband and I followed the South Beach diet to get off of carbs. If I remember correctly, I think the first two weeks are protein, cheese, vegetables, eggs, no carbs. No fruit, sugar, bread or anything white. The idea is to stop the body’s craving for carbs. I can’t remember the exact three phases, but we now normally eat low carb meals with the occasional slip up. I usually keep a bar of dark chocolate handy when I need something chocolate. You can find the information on the internet. Just google the South Beach diet.

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  12. Sadie - The second week was the hardest, but it did break the craving for carbs and sugar. Forget sodas. Even diet sodas aren't that great for you.

    My husband and I followed the South Beach diet to get off of carbs. If I remember correctly, I think the first two weeks are protein, cheese, vegetables, eggs, no carbs. No fruit, sugar, bread or anything white. The idea is to stop the body’s craving for carbs. I can’t remember the exact three phases, but we now normally eat low carb meals with the occasional slip up. I usually keep a bar of dark chocolate handy when I need something chocolate. You can find the information on the internet. Just google the South Beach diet.

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  13. Good one Lisa!! 🙂
    And for the record, I’m totally still -eeeuuuuwwwwww- by that whole tapeworm thing…

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  14. PJ: snacks. Low carb yogurt, raspberries.
    I can also eat popcorn. Cheese sticks.
    hummus is a good one. Turkey bites, any
    small amount of meat. Once you detox from sugar you can start experimenting with
    what carbs you can tolerate.

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  15. Oh, and P.S. June. Dr Pepper contains caffeine. Unless you are drinking the caffeine free variety. Which is possible as you are way more invested in preventing your own migraines than I am. (Than am I?)

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  16. Okay, I’m going to bed now but maybe a little pillow talk first with June. How’d you do it? Cold turkey or weaning off? Was it hard? And, by the way, do they make no-caffeine Dr. Pepper?

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  17. Did I get any advice? No, I didn’t. I broke and ate the last of a bag of kettle corn. You know, now it’s gone and all. Well, that lasted 8 hours. But that’s okay. I’ll slip up now and then, huh?
    Maybe Siren can reassure me that I’m still okay. She’s been practicing i understand. Come on, Siren, tell me I’m a goooooo girllll.

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  18. You know what’s even more fun, susie b.? Read the comments first, then try to figure out what June might have written about that would inspire people to share stories about, for example, what came out of their bumhole or the bumhole of someone they know or claim to know.
    It’s like yoga for the brain.

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  20. Thanks, MBFriend. What do you eat in the evening when you want a snack? Like right now? But no carbs…I don’t think Dr. Pepper qualifies…

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  21. No carbs…bra through the sleeve…bassets… Sir Walter Raleigh’s drawers…wedding receptions…June’s made drawing skillz…bloop de blah de bloo
    Sometime, just for fun -read June’s blog first and absorb carefully. Then go to the last comment and work your way backward. The comments, they do wobble to and fro…

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  22. I have lived a low carb life since 1999, and feel much better for it. I used several sources, but the one i recommend now is The SouthBeach diet (it should say lifestyle, not diet). If you fear dire consequences, then don’t start with phase one, start with phase 2.
    About.com has a good low carb site with recipes,
    etc. The writer has done some research on
    sugar substitues that don’t cause blood sugar
    spikes. Try it you will likely feel better.
    Not as good as you feel when you get home
    and immediately take your bra off, but good none
    the less.
    You pie people are a hoot.

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  23. I want to order that guy in the window.
    ByebyepieHunkHunkaburninglove.com
    Summer Catalog, 2011
    A11188 – man in suit – size large.

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  25. OK ladies, any recommendations on how to wean yourself from/significantly cut down on sugar and carbs? As in, any specific programs y’all followed? If so, please let me know – I need some help!

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  28. Friends have told me not to do no carbs or seriously low carbs because they reacted after a few weeks by going on serious binges. People who had never binged before. They said they binged repeatedly for a couple of months.
    Just the sugar will be enough for me.

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  29. Friends have told me not to do no carbs or seriously low carbs because they reacted after a few weeks by going on serious binges. People who had never binged before. They said they binged repeatedly for a couple of months.
    Just the sugar will be enough for me.

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  30. Friends have told me not to do no carbs or seriously low carbs because they reacted after a few weeks by going on serious binges. People who had never binged before. They said they binged repeatedly for a couple of months.
    Just the sugar will be enough for me.

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  32. Did they get a smaller web cam at DDC? The screen seems smaller to me. Bout time big hair come and get uz.

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  33. Furry, my sister has two big bassets. She refers to them as the baby rhinos because they are delicate and all. Glad to hear about your new doggie. I’ll be looking for pictures.
    And also, gradually? Oh goodie! Does that mean I can go have that chocolate Milano cookie I am craving right now?
    Duffy L, migraine’s suck.
    Lisa P., eat every 3 to 4 hours. I can do that! I can. I can.
    Loved Six Feet Under. One of the all time best. That and In Treatment.

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  34. PJ,
    I did a 3 week long “clean out the carbs” diet recently and I had the WORST headache for the first 3 or 4 days, due to getting off the sugar. It was painful, but I learned a LOT about myself and how easy it is for bad carbs to creep into my diet.
    I think what helped me was to eat something every 3 to 4 hours. Small meals and snacks throughout the day.
    Good luck!

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  35. PJ,
    I did a 3 week long “clean out the carbs” diet recently and I had the WORST headache for the first 3 or 4 days, due to getting off the sugar. It was painful, but I learned a LOT about myself and how easy it is for bad carbs to creep into my diet.
    I think what helped me was to eat something every 3 to 4 hours. Small meals and snacks throughout the day.
    Good luck!

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  36. PJ,
    I did a 3 week long “clean out the carbs” diet recently and I had the WORST headache for the first 3 or 4 days, due to getting off the sugar. It was painful, but I learned a LOT about myself and how easy it is for bad carbs to creep into my diet.
    I think what helped me was to eat something every 3 to 4 hours. Small meals and snacks throughout the day.
    Good luck!

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  37. PJ! Not only will you see a difference in the way you feel, but I saw a difference in what I weighed.
    I don’t know if you a re interested in that or not.
    I can tell I haven’t been eating or drinking like I should. This is my first migraine in six months. I used to have at least three a week. I have to get back on track.

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  38. Do it gradually, PJ. And don’t do what I did by substituting artificial sweetners. (Use natural Stevia products, if you must.) Otherwise, you need to get off of them too. Gah. I’m boring myself.
    Back to Six Feet Under episodes and the littlest basset hound mix Terra rescued this morning. I hope her parents really don’t want her back. LOVE her eight pound bassett self.

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  39. Does one really go through sugar withdrawal? What’s it like? It doesn’t sound like something I’ll be good at…not like June and her caffeine withdrawal which as I recall she did not carry on about after she decided to do it. I’m not good at not carrying on.

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  40. Go with the friendship thing for sure. My husband and I were just friends for about 20 years until circumstances changed and we discovered each other anew. By then I had seen him go through good times and bad times and fun times and grieving times and had a real good idea who he is in all kinds of weather.
    My fun weekend? Deciding I have felt totally crappy one too many times and am amending my eating habits to ditch the sugar and processed foods again. I’ve watched two friends do that and they feel a world better. So I spent mine reading about the evils of sugar and how it will KILL you tomorrow and writing down meal ideas and shopping to restock the kitchen.
    Beats counting dead classmates and catering to company. Hate.
    But….no dessert? I LOVE dessert! Cookies! I love cookies!

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  41. I have been known to do the bra through the sleeve trick on the way home in the car. And sometimes the movie theater. Just gotta remember to take it with when I leave.

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  42. Paula, I thought I was the only one that took her bra off through her sleeve!
    Such kindred spirits, us pie peeps.
    Sorry, Kelly Pie. There is very little worry for me injuring anyone when I’m braless.

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  43. I don’t know June…my sister Sandy may rival you for the slowest eater award. She always liked you. Maybe you two could go out to dinner and be the last ones to leave sometime!

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  44. Duffylou, I agree. I sometimes even take my bra off through my sleeve, when I’m desperate to free ’em. Shoes, bra, makeup. At home I’m a short, fat slut.

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  49. First thing when you come home, ladies? Shoes off, bra off. Maybe not even in that order.

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  52. Hulk, she said WITHOUT a bra. Not IN her bra. Girls understand the difference.
    Now I will await the fireworks when June returns…

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  53. Thanks Kelly Pie, for that earworm that will lead to many others. Like “Detachable Penis” by King Missile or “Common People” by William Shatner. All in that same monotone talky singy voice. There’s another $1.29 to my iTunes account.

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  56. 1. According to my family, *I* am the World’s Slowest Eater.
    P. I hate it when people schedule their wedding and reception with a multi-hour break in between.
    xiv. LisaPie, I now have Jim Carroll’s “People Who Died” song stuck in my head. “All the people who died, died. They were all of my friends and they died, died.” A cheery tune.

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  58. I love the way Sir Walter has his thumb casually hooked into his snazzy belt and his other hand holding his cape over his shoulder. Very GQ, I’ll bet he was da bomb back in da day.
    I love DB & your matching glasses. He’s got good taste. Have fun traipsing to WS today.

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  61. To put you at ease, OJ…
    If I am ever invited for an extended visit, please feel free to walk around in your bra.

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  62. I have never seen anything quite like Sir Walter Raleigh or your mad drawing skillzzzz.
    Gotta go check on the doggies.

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  63. I came home from hell, (Disney World) and sadly my company followed me because my husband INVITED them without ASKING ME FIRST. So yesterday I raced around, putting new linens on all the beds and dusting and vacuuming a house that had been sealed up for 10 days and catering to my house of guests. Beat that kind of fun weekend.
    Glad you were able to have a cavorting good time this weekend.
    And I have no idea when these people are leaving, so I can’t walk around without a bra on because it is a family of males and I am just plain out peeved at everyone.

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  64. p.s. sandra,
    when I read “I painted furniture white” I got the stupid song from Disney’s Alice in Wonderland “We’re painting the roses red!” stuck in my head!
    TX Kari, The first time I went to Vermont I could not get over the fact that the maps were practically life size! In Texas you get the map and figure out that 1 inch = 50 or 100 miles (depending on your map), but my Vermont map had a legend of an inch being like 5 miles or something. I was looking for a destination of about 20 miles away and it was all the way ACROSS the whole damn page!

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  65. p.s. sandra,
    when I read “I painted furniture white” I got the stupid song from Disney’s Alice in Wonderland “We’re painting the roses red!” stuck in my head!
    TX Kari, The first time I went to Vermont I could not get over the fact that the maps were practically life size! In Texas you get the map and figure out that 1 inch = 50 or 100 miles (depending on your map), but my Vermont map had a legend of an inch being like 5 miles or something. I was looking for a destination of about 20 miles away and it was all the way ACROSS the whole damn page!

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  66. p.s. sandra,
    when I read “I painted furniture white” I got the stupid song from Disney’s Alice in Wonderland “We’re painting the roses red!” stuck in my head!
    TX Kari, The first time I went to Vermont I could not get over the fact that the maps were practically life size! In Texas you get the map and figure out that 1 inch = 50 or 100 miles (depending on your map), but my Vermont map had a legend of an inch being like 5 miles or something. I was looking for a destination of about 20 miles away and it was all the way ACROSS the whole damn page!

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  69. Glad you are having such a great weekend. Is there anyone else here who thinks June and Mr. Boone could be like Harry and Sally and just take a while to figure out they really are made for each other?
    Me? I have been a real slacker this weekend. Yesterday I dug out my old high school yearbooks to look up dead people. Someone posted a damn memorial page on fb and now everyone is posting about all the people who are dead. So now I have to look them all up and see if I remember them.
    Oh yeah, and it’s time for me to scan the Sunday obituaries and see who’s dead and what they died from.
    It’s all about excitement here at Chez Lisa Pie

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  70. Glad you are having such a great weekend. Is there anyone else here who thinks June and Mr. Boone could be like Harry and Sally and just take a while to figure out they really are made for each other?
    Me? I have been a real slacker this weekend. Yesterday I dug out my old high school yearbooks to look up dead people. Someone posted a damn memorial page on fb and now everyone is posting about all the people who are dead. So now I have to look them all up and see if I remember them.
    Oh yeah, and it’s time for me to scan the Sunday obituaries and see who’s dead and what they died from.
    It’s all about excitement here at Chez Lisa Pie

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  71. Glad you are having such a great weekend. Is there anyone else here who thinks June and Mr. Boone could be like Harry and Sally and just take a while to figure out they really are made for each other?
    Me? I have been a real slacker this weekend. Yesterday I dug out my old high school yearbooks to look up dead people. Someone posted a damn memorial page on fb and now everyone is posting about all the people who are dead. So now I have to look them all up and see if I remember them.
    Oh yeah, and it’s time for me to scan the Sunday obituaries and see who’s dead and what they died from.
    It’s all about excitement here at Chez Lisa Pie

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  73. WOW! Only an hour!
    There are days I can’t get to the outskirts of my city in an hour. Thank goodness I rarely have to do that.

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  74. I painted furniture white this weekend, moved my bedroom around and now I am hoping to have a date with Mr. Kisser tonight. Wish me luck.
    PS Completely and totally over painting furniture. Never again. Was going to paint my bookshelf white too, but decided to just put it in the closet and close the door. Done!

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  75. The way I first read your story, it sounded like you drove to both Charlotte and Raleigh on Saturday, but I knew you said you spent a fun First Friday with the Fireman so I had to reread that sentence. Now it makes sense.

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  77. So, exactly how long does it take to get from city to city in your state? It baffles me that you can DRIVE to see these people in one afternoon. If I wanted to drive to see friend in Dallas, it would be a 10 hour round trip. Austin or San Antonio, 7 hours round trip. Generally to see someone in a afternoon and come back would require an AIRPLANE.
    !

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  78. Glad that you had fun with your men, but I have to admit that my favorite part of the post is your hair on the stick figure. I noticed it was getting bigger.

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  79. You and DB have the same hands, too, unless that is the same person holding both pairs of glasses.
    I think Beverly is looking for an illustrator. You should contact her with your fine map-enhancing skills.
    OMG, Pal from MA’s Mom, GUARD YOUR NETHERS.

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  80. It sounds like you have another best best best friend! So glad your weekend tour is turning out well.
    And, I agree about the wedding in one chunk. I hate the waiting around.

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  83. I’m not even sure that is a belt that Sir Walter has, it looks like some renaissance-y fanny pack. But then what is holding his pantaloons up? Which really just look like hiked-up Hammer pants anyway.
    I went to a wedding yesterday, it was in the couple’s backyard and it was casual and quite the party. The drinking started before the ceremony, and the officiant was also the guitarist in the band. Not a tuxedo in sight!
    Keep having a great weekend June!

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  84. Pantaloons, snazzy belt and THIGH-HIGH HOOKER BOOTS – how did you miss those??!? Those ARE boots…am I right?

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  91. I have had an equally exciting weekend that I will share with all y’all:
    Friday – dinner with my mom and aunt at my mom’s house cause she is recuperating from back surgery. Fun.
    Saturday – baseboard painting all ding dang afternoon at my daughter’s house and then family movie night watching Rango. More fun.
    Today – Sitting on my butt a lot, watching TV – oh, and I have to go buy dog food or the dog starves.
    I know you are super jealous of the fascinating life I lead.

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  92. Grrrr-eat! Now it looks like I do nothing but hang out on Junes blog 24/7. Which is not the case! I did some really exciting things between last night and this morning! I am not going to say what, because I don’t like to talk about myself.
    I totally agree on the wedding thing. That big time lapse always makes me think they are hoping less people show up for the meal. Me? Skip the wedding – head right to the food part!
    I will look forward to the Uncle Leo interview. I will sit right here and wait for it to happen.

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