June's stupid life · My pets

Sick as a dog

I went to get my dogs from daycare yesterday, as I had planted them there since the weekend so I could jaunt off to the beach like a carefree single mom.

Actually, some of my friends are single moms of, you know, actual humans, and they are rarely carefree. So I went to the beach like a carefree owner of dogs, thinking they'd be happy and entertained at daycare.

They emerged from the playroom as they always do, hysterical and overwrought, and we got in the car as we always do, Edsel in the back seat because he's beta dog, Tallulah in the front because she is in charge of all of us. As soon as daycare is out of sight, Talu always sighs and puts her head on my lap. Which makes it easy to shift.

But then? A couple hours after we were home? The Edsel, there? He took to barfin'.

I mean, it wasn't just a one-time-only deal. He was bringing up the past. He was showing me stuff he ate in Ancient Rome. It was ludicrous. I had to take the sisal rug outside and hose it off. I used up all the paper towels. I Sharked my floor. Which turned out to be useless, as you will soon see.

Sickeds He was clearly miserable.

I was chatting with The Fireman, telling him Edsel had been sick. The Fireman has a Lab, because he is manly that way. "Poor dog," he said, not seeming too concerned.

Right then poor Edsel hurled again. "He's foaming at the mouth," I wrote.

"Get that dog some medical attention," said The Fireman. I figured he'd dashed to plenty a dog-foaming-after-barfing rescue and knew what he was talking about.

So poor Edsel and I went to the emergency vet, and I knew he was really sick because he (a) didn't care when I got his leash and (b) didn't care when we saw a bunny in the field next to the emergency vet.

Naturally, I knew the receptionist. "I know you!" she chirped, all redheaded and 22. (Yes, Marvin, she's at the emergency vet on Battleground. I think she always works nights.) (Marvin likes him a redhead.) Turns out she used to work at my regular vet, plus she had been the receptionist on duty when Henry was hurt after the Rally to Restore Sanity last fall. Remember that? When I took the train home and Marvin had waited till I got home to worry about the part where Henry's arm was swollen 80 times its normal size? (You could have met the redhead THEN, Marvin.)

Edsel crammed his head behind my knee while the vet took our info. "I'm gonna take Edsel back and run tests," she said, reaching for his leash. Edsel licked her. "It's okay if you kiss me after you puked. Part of my job."

Edsel looked longingly at me while they led him back, and I went to the lobby and chatted with a delightful gay man who had a Jack Russel/Chihuahua mix that I am sort of shocked to tell you was actually adorable once she emerged.

The point is, they decided Edsel had stress colitis from being at dog daycare. Who is the worst worst worst mom ever? The vet said, "We can see he's clearly a mama's boy" (Edsel was back with me and standing behind my knee again). "Some dogs just get stressed out even if they're playing with other dogs all day. They just wanna be with their people."

They gave him fluids and an antinausea shot and told me I could either cook chicken and rice for him for three days or buy bland food from them (which do you think I did?) and $8583829400 later we left. I made a vow to NEVER go anywhere without Edsel ever again. Ever. I don't care if my mother's evil dog EATS Edsel, he's coming with me from now on.

Nowwifjauntyscarf
So we were back home, and he had his new jaunty scarf from the vet, and I thought things were okay.

(I emailed Daniel Boone about the whole evening, because it's important I keep up the 93949230 emails to Daniel Boone at all times, and he wrote back and then wrote a P.S. "And Edsel, you don't look at all gay in your scarf.")

By the way, I was reviewing the instructions on how to give him his probiotic and bland food and so forth and in his medical stuff it read, "Teeth: Adult white clean teeth. Underbite." Hello, understatement. It'd be like Kim Kardashian's chart: Adult olive clean butt. Pronounced.

So we went to bed and Edsel got all up on me to cuddle, when

BLARGHHHH.

In the middle of the night? TALLULAH started barfing. Oh, she barfed everywhere. She barfed in the dining room. In the back room–twice. In the hall–also twice. On the bedspread. It was a relaxing evening.

So I gave them both the bland food today and I have no clue what is up with them. Could they BOTH have stress colitis from dog daycare? Who feels unbelievably guilty for going to the beach and abandoning her dogs?

Nurseroger
Fortunately I have help while I'm at work. "rodgder heer. take care of scarf gay dog."

98 thoughts on “Sick as a dog

  1. My neighbor’s dog is an old lab and hey have to get someone to house sit/pet sit when they go on vacation. Their poor dog has SEIZURES if left alone for more than a few hours during the day.
    Glad your dogs are feeling better today.

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  2. Two car trips with Lucia the Cat taught me that she was not a travelin’ gal, so catsitters come in, and she stays all lovey and nice and hangs out in the windows.
    Her favorite upchucking spot is on my expensive-on-sale-but-still-expensive oriental rug. Not the hardwood floors, the bathroom tile or the cheapie rug from Target. She loves that oriental, and she’s a long-haired Siamese, so maybe it’s what makes her feel at home.

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  3. You… you have no microwave? You don’t cook, AND you have no microwave?
    June, you are a mystery wrapped inside a riddle. And covered in secret sauce.

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  4. June, I just finished giving my dog a diet of chicken and rice, per vet’s orders. She had a bad case of gas. I KNOW. But she had chewed on a piece of plastic and ingested some of it; hence, the gas. Anyway, it couldn’t be easier. Buy regular rice (not instant) and some chicken legs. Put about 2 1/2 cups of water in a pot, add 1 cup of rice and the chicken legs (thighs, or whatever), cover, lower the heat, and simmer for about 20 – 25 minutes. Remove the chicken from the rice, let cool, and pull the chicken off the bones, adding the meat back into the pot of rice. Toss the bones in the garbage. Your Eds and Talu will love you for this meal.

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  5. I’ll add my own (boringly repetitive) opinion: that it was either the food they fed them at the kennel, or a virus. Food would be my first guess.
    Whenever we leave town, we have so many pets (8!) that we are forced to hire someone to actually come stay in the house. So my animals have never been in a kennel (except for their original stays at the Humane Societies). The only times they puke is from eating something very different (or very disgusting, that they find on the ground).
    Is it common for a dog to have that much separation anxiety? Perhaps Edsel is just…special? {wink}
    No, seriously, I LOVE Edsel. He’s the most adorable creature, and in that neckerchief, even better. {swoon}
    Roger is huge. Very very long tail, too, in the other pic–Anderson’s?

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  6. That used to happen to our dog Madison all the time. He only ate dry dog food kibbles, and not the really good expensive stuff, but the cheapest possible. Found out after one particularly vexing projectile vomit episode that they were feeding the dogs moist canned food. Leaving it out in bowls all day long. And replenishing at will. (That would explain the ginormous bill each time!) Well, Madison just couldn’t be trusted with food so he got one cupful of kibble every evening. Leave it out all day and he would gobble it up like he had never had food in his life and he was starving (he wasn’t). So after that time, we would send kibble in baggies labeled and dated with strict instructions to only feed him that. Problem solved. And although I sure do miss Madison, I don’t miss the boarding bill.
    Hope your buddies get better quick!
    Enjoy the day!

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  7. June, you don’t have to have a microwave to cook minute rice. Dust off those wonderful pots you have an cook on top of the stove. It’s easy. I promise.

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  8. What is with the barf? There was barf the other day over at Zadge’s house.

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  9. What is with the barf? There was barf the other day over at Zadge’s house.

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  10. What is with the barf? There was barf the other day over at Zadge’s house.

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  11. I had a Lab that had a very sensitive, extremely sensitive digestive system. Did I mention hair-trigger sensitive digestive system? He was such a great people dog. A trip to the kennel, moving, or whatever could really put his innards in a rebellious state with action at both ends. B.l.e.c.h. Anyway, his vet prescribed hamburger meat and rice boiled together until the rice was tender. It always did the trick – in a couple of days he was good as new.
    However, I too, think there must have been something at the kennel too – for both the fur-babies to have gotten sick…

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  12. MTM, whose Pom (so far) (knock wood) expresses stress by intensifying the gaze of the big woeful eyes that could melt steel says:

    Eek! Just now, your blog ad featured a bagel with ants crawling on it. They must have pattered over from our infested office kitchen. Probably bearing diseases, like the blog-induced puking that will soon be afflicting all our literate dogs….

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  13. No. Weren’t you “Class Clown”?
    Or “Best Class Ring Person” or something?

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  14. No. Weren’t you “Class Clown”?
    Or “Best Class Ring Person” or something?

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  15. No. Weren’t you “Class Clown”?
    Or “Best Class Ring Person” or something?

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  16. Sadie - Or did you already say you were Class Clown? With my short-term memory loss I need Beth to check facts. says:

    June, I obviously don’t know you and did not know you in high school, but with your funny I thought you might have been Class Clown or Court Jester.

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  17. My dog always barfs when he comes home from boarding. He has a really sensitive stomach; I have given him the same Iams food for 9 years. So when the people at the boarding use their food instead of the Iams I provide, he gets very ill.

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  18. Thank you Barb! I was not sure if everyone used a super duper fancy one.

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  19. Poor doggies!
    I was reading Pioneer Woman this morning (I know, shut up) and she mentioned that the started following Hulk on twitter.
    I just stared at that monitor, shocked that she knew Hulk over here at BBP.
    She was talking about Hulk, the cartoon character, but Hulk, you were so famous in my world for a good 3 minutes.

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  20. Ugh…Hulk:
    Make that OHIO!
    Keep the fanny…anyone in Michigan who favors Ohio teams IS a fanny.

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  21. 2nd FLET…
    I have always been a fan of Ohil, or as we fans say, “Ohio”…
    Even as a student.
    Glad I made such a long-lasting impression on you…

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  22. 2nd FLET…
    I have always been a fan of Ohil, or as we fans say, “Ohio”…
    Even as a student.
    Glad I made such a long-lasting impression on you…

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  23. 2nd FLET…
    I have always been a fan of Ohil, or as we fans say, “Ohio”…
    Even as a student.
    Glad I made such a long-lasting impression on you…

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  24. June,
    For a woman who has an extreme aversion to throwing-up, there sure is a lot of barf talk on this blog.
    Pointing out the obvious,
    Texas Kari

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  25. Dang,
    That’s the kind of homecoming that’ll prompt you to hire a dog sitter next time. Well worth it!
    Mend, pups.

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  26. You know I was feeling fine till I started reading the comments, and as I have read further and further . . . I have noticed I am feeling a bit queasy. The power of suggestion.
    Poor Edsel! I hope he and Tallulah are both fine as frog hair soon!
    That idea up there of having Marvin, someone they know and love, dogsit is a great idea. I can’t take my flea bag dogs to the doggie resort any more, they all get so stressed out that their health declines. They still haven’t bounced back after our cruise a year ago.

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  27. Sure *sounds* like a bug, since they’re both barfing. But good work, Edsel! You get to go everywhere with yo momma from now on! *And* you’ve got it in writing on this here blog.

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  28. I hope Edsel and Lu feel better soon. It is not fun to clean up barf…although I do it all the time. Everyone pukes constantly at our house. The kids have puke issues, the dog has puke issues. I have actually taught my children that if we are in public they should turn toward me and throw up in my lap so no one else has to see it. We keep extra clothes for all of us in the car and that way we reduce any onlookers losing their appetites!
    HULK!!!!!! I am an Indians fan now! That is a great story! Love it!

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  29. My cat stresses out when I go out of town too. One time I arrived at my destination only to discover she had peed all in my suitcase before I left to show me just how much she hates me leaving. I had to buy a new suitcase and all new clothes.
    Sadie, thanks! But my cat woke me up at 5:00 a.m. with the fabulous gift of a gigantic hairball right in the middle of the kitchen floor so it has not been a birthday free of Ralph and Chuck.

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  30. I have heard of that as well and we had a poop issue that was thought to be stress colotis. Except our dog had been under no stress. None. She has a stress-free life. She just eats too much yard crap and that’s what caused, well, the crap. Got it cleared up pretty easy though. Thank goodness. Cause cleaning dog diarrhea out of the carpeting is no bit of fun, I can tell ya!
    Hope your dogses are feeling better!

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  31. I also had my experience with stress and its effects on a dog, except Dim Sum’s (a Shar Pei) stress showed up at the other end. She stayed in a wire crate and did a projectile version (doesn’t even sound possible, does it?) across the room.
    Her stress? My alcoholic and unemployed then-husband who had been home all the time with her went to rehab. My stress? Doing several massively gross clean-ups, working a full-time and part-time job and still unable to pay all the bills, trying to visit said husband several times a week at a rehab center an hour’s drive away and faced with an emergency vet visit that was more than my rent and electric bills. To learn all this was because Dim Sum missed him!
    I loved that dog. She liked to share margaritas with me and eat grits. True to her doggie heritage, that one!

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  32. Oh how I love Edsel’s ears. I would totally doggy sit for you if I didn’t live exactly and completely on the other side of the country – and a different country at that. Hope they’re all better today.

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  33. Hulk (I have lots of birds and squirrels and those two labs by my house...Edsel might need therapy if he visits me...) says:

    You think that dog is stressed now…

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  34. Thurston Howell. Howl. Ha! I think more Charles Nelson Reilly. Or Paul Lynde. They wore jaunty ascots. They WERE jaunty ass…. Never mind.

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  35. My Mr. does the stressed induced vomiting thing when left at dog daycare. So now I have to hire someone to stay at my house and take care of my three mutts. I feel your pain!

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  36. Dog ate son’s marijuana.
    Guess that explains how he dropped a weight on the thing’s foot…
    Maybe the dog was using medical MaryJane for the pain…

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  37. Dog ate son’s marijuana.
    Guess that explains how he dropped a weight on the thing’s foot…
    Maybe the dog was using medical MaryJane for the pain…

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  38. Dog ate son’s marijuana.
    Guess that explains how he dropped a weight on the thing’s foot…
    Maybe the dog was using medical MaryJane for the pain…

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  39. I am also wondering if the dogs caught something at daycare. Did any other dogs there at the same time end of with the barfing?

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  40. Poor Eds and Lu. They sure know how to lay on the guilt! Sounds like they would fit in well with my crew! And the picture of Roger comforting Edsel is beyond adorable…can you please teach my cat to do that?

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  41. June, when the dogs went to daycare for
    weekend, did you take their own food? Changing their food suddenly can cause the upchucks.
    I sure hope they are feeling better. I give mine white rice with chicken broth when they get the upset tummies. Thank god for minute rice!

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  42. awww so sorry bout the babies!!! also, what do they feed them there? beneful has that affect on my doglets…..and i warn people against that…it is a good price but can make them sick……
    i have been to that er vet, twice….my son dropped a weight on the paw of a miniature chihuahua we were babysitting for friend, almost chopped off her toes….microsurgery reattachment using bird tools helped…later same dog visited again (can you believe it? ) this time dog ate son’s marajuana…..she got back at him…….had to have stomach pumped…..and believe it or not we kept her this past weekend and all was fine, not incidents to report……

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  43. Oh June, so sorry about the pups! If it were just Edsel I could see the stress-colitis thing. But Talu too? Makes me think there was some kind of virus…
    In other Edsel-related news, the collar-formerly-known-as-Edsel’s made an appearance on my blog today.

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  44. Hope you, Tallulah and Edsel all recover from the barfing.
    Happy Birthday, Beverly. May your celebrations exclude Ralph and Chuck.

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  45. Hope you, Tallulah and Edsel all recover from the barfing.
    Happy Birthday, Beverly. May your celebrations exclude Ralph and Chuck.

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  46. Hope you, Tallulah and Edsel all recover from the barfing.
    Happy Birthday, Beverly. May your celebrations exclude Ralph and Chuck.

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  47. Goof grief! I cannot imagine how big Roger is going to be when he’s all done being a catten. He goes on forever already!

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  48. Sandra,
    The shark is fabulous and June was the person who convinced me to get one. It is a must if you are a pet owner. I have the rectangular shape one that comes with 2 pads. There are other versions but this one is perfect for me. I love the shark!

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  49. Sandra,
    The shark is fabulous and June was the person who convinced me to get one. It is a must if you are a pet owner. I have the rectangular shape one that comes with 2 pads. There are other versions but this one is perfect for me. I love the shark!

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  50. Sandra,
    The shark is fabulous and June was the person who convinced me to get one. It is a must if you are a pet owner. I have the rectangular shape one that comes with 2 pads. There are other versions but this one is perfect for me. I love the shark!

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  51. I boarded the cats while we were away. Simon came home hoarse. And he has had plenty to gripe about since coming home. Last night, out of nowhere, he exploded all over the bed. No warning, no gagging, horking, licking. Just BLAM. I was a one-person Chinese fire drill ripping the bed apart. Just what I needed after Jackie’s emergency appendectomy. This parenting gig sucks.

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  52. I love the picture of Roger and Edsel, so sweet!
    I have to ask about the shark steam mop. I really really want to get one but am so confused because they have all kinds of different ones, with purple pads with fuzzy loopy stuff on it or white plain…which one do I get? What does everyone have, I know we have talked about this before. Please help!

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  53. Hahahhahaha, Hulk! That was hilarious.
    But I definitely think it’s true.
    My dogs get so stressed when I leave. The minute the suitcase comes out, they hang their heads and mope. Luckily, we are fortunate enough to have trusted people we can hire who housesit and stay here with the dogs. I think my Delilah would have colitis if we had to leave her in a busy place that wasn’t home.
    Edsel looks like a handsome boy in his scarf. I hope all the pukers are feeling better today, that the bland food does the trick. Poor, emotional pups.
    Roger is a champ for watching over his bud in the jaunty scarf.

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  54. Poor babies. Maybe you can hire a sitter when you go to the wedding. Do you think Marvin could help? You helped him with Winston and Henry. I hope they are better today.

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  55. The dog had stress? The dog. Stress.
    That is why he was puking.
    Not the fact that it eats cat shit all day…
    Stress.

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  56. Mrs. Oh, I don’t think Marvin being around would have helped unless June was looking for someone to make their move.
    Beth and I are once again thankful for hearing more reasons to not get a pet at our house.

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  57. Poor puppies. I hope they are feeling better. And, also? Poor YOU. Cleaning up puke is not how I like to spend my time. Our last dog was puke-y, and although I still miss him, I do NOT miss the puke. I got really good at grabbing newspaper and shoving it under his chin to catch the puke so I didn’t have to scrub. He gave me plenty of gagging as warning.

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  58. Our cat, Lord Admiral Hortio Nelson, Viscount has seperation anxiety when we leave him on vaca. We have awesome cat sitters that come & hang with him & let him sit on their laps & love him but he still insists on peeing on things while we are gone & then usually too, on something right in front of us so we can see him do it when we get home – just to make his point. But he’s cute & a Mamma’s boy and I don’t know how to change it so I just bitch about it & clean it up…

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  59. The bad thing about not having Marvin around any more is that you can’t do what I do when something barfs. I pretend I don’t see it because whoever finds it gets to clean it up in our house.
    “Ohhhh really the dog puked? I didn’t see that. Poor thing. Do you need me to help YOU clean it up?”
    And Edsel in his scarf reminds me of a 1970’s Warren Beatty.

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  60. How sweet Roger is taking charge and loving his sibling. Looks like you will have a co pilot and back seat rider back to Michigan!

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  61. How sweet Roger is taking charge and loving his sibling. Looks like you will have a co pilot and back seat rider back to Michigan!

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  62. How sweet Roger is taking charge and loving his sibling. Looks like you will have a co pilot and back seat rider back to Michigan!

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  63. I hope they feel better real soon. I’ll stay up worried about a sick kitty or dog, but don’t do well with children, although I have one who grew up happily anyway.

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