I hate my computer

Last night I could not take Edsel and his shifting and barking and leaping on and off the bed a SECOND LONGER, so I kicked everyone out and slept alone. I would've let Tallulah stay, as she is a lump once she gets in the bed, but that seemed extra super cruel.

You would have thought I had stretched Edsel out on–oh, what are those called? Those torture things they stretch people out on? Anyway you'd have thought he was on one of those.

Where IS my best writing award?

RACK! A rack. You'd have thought I'd stretched him out on a rack. Now YOU are on a rack waiting for me to move on.

Oh, he whiiiinnnnned. He moaaaaaaned. He FLUMPED over and over again against the door. And guess who ignored him? Guess who had no time for his dramatic ass?

And I slept like a lamp.

A lamp! I meant to write LAMB, and really I have no idea if lambs sleep well, much less lamps. Although I do have to say I never see my lamps pacing the floor at night or looking worn out the next day.

Part of the reason I slept like a lamp was because I did not one but TWO workout veeeedeos with my coworker Vilhelm Oyster. In case you are just tuning in, my grandmother used to pronounce "video" "veeeedeo" and anyway this was a DVD so this whole paragraph was for naught.

Where IS my best writing award? Did I already ask you that?

We did core and something else awful, and when we were done working those parts that I would much rather leave alone, Vilhelm said, "You wanna do the abs one?" And clearly I was drugged because I said yes.

If I do not resemble Megan Fox in a week Ima be PISSED.

…And my computer just crashed. Hate.

130 thoughts on “I hate my computer

  1. My son worked at Blockbuster for almost four years. He has hundreds of movies. I just texted him to see if I could borrow this one. He doesn’t own it.
    Now what?

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  2. Tammi and Unruly I understand your pain. I’m so sorry. Our fur babies are forever in our hearts. Sadie and I had this conversation on Saturday. I still miss my little bed buddies.

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  3. I really need to watch that movie all at one time. I’ve never seen it from start to finish.

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  4. Hulkie. I too am sorry. Both my college teams (Georgia and MiamiFL) lost this past weekend, effectively breaking my heart the first weekend of the year. Sigh. But hey! Braves are still in. Except against the Phillies. Sigh.

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  5. Dear Miss June, We’ma going to Port Huron tomorrow,from London Ontario. Big fun for us. Going to buy Rotel and spray starch. Can’t hardly stand the excitement. We might have a bite to eat at McDonald’s too. What does your day look like? Love, Maple Leaf.

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  6. My Indians got swept today, effectively ending any chance we had at the post-season. I’m sad too…

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  7. My Indians got swept today, effectively ending any chance we had at the post-season. I’m sad too…

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