In which June tries to photograph things. Guess how that went.

I couldn't think of anything to write about today, because here was my day yesterday:

Work, go to vending machine, work, see what's new at vending machine.

Honestly. I eat right. Take care of myself. Why can't I shed the pounds?

Then after a nutritious dinner of popcorn, I went went to bed and HELLO MIDNIGHT NAUSEA.

Does that ever happen to you? You wake up totally nauz in the middle of the night? I hate that. It's always more jarring when you wake up with it. Not that I put whatever flew out of me in a jar.

So I have the personality of a mop this morning, as opposed to my usual sparkling interesting personality that is clearly so enticing, hence the part where I've been whisked off by a millionaire with a mansion and a yacht.

I just tried to show you that cartoon of Elmer Fudd saying he had "a mansion und a yacht" but guess what. GUESS WHAT. It crashed my effing computer.

Ny point is, 80 paragraphs later, since I had nothing to tell you, and look who can drone on when she has nothing to say? Who can take a nothing day and certainly make it all seem worthwhile? I decided to delve into my 900 thousand photos, that I really should organize one day, and pick the 17th one.

Littlerogie
LOOK HOW CUTE! Baby Roger! Who would believe this was only three months ago? Let's go look at his attitudinal self right now, shall we?

Outdoorrog
Crap. He is in the backyard, enjoying my highly manicured, not-at-all-ruined-by-dogs grass. Seconds later Edsel chased him up a tree and I thought I got a picture of that, but once I put the card thing (official name) in the computer, the photo wasn't there. Because this is how my life works.

You know what might help? Is if I read the manual for my new camera to figure out, you know, when I am actually taking pictures and when I'm not.

…And in further proof that I remain God's least-favorite person, I just went back out there to see if I could get another Roger picture. He had been so cute being treed by Edsel. Maybe I could get another cute photo of him. And by the way, he will leap right on Edsel's head, claws out, so don't feel sorry for him. Don't ever feel sorry for Roger about anything. I think he could take care of all of us, if the shit went down.

On my search for a good Roger moment, I saw…

Crankyands
Anderson Cooper lounging crankily near the place I ruined with my 84833 white paint cans.

Play
The dogs tearing after each other like banshees. Yes, that is both of them over there in the corner. Apparently everyone puts my babies in the corner.

And Roger? Nowhere to be found. Nowhere! Then I heard fighting in the yard next door. Not people. But "Rrrrrraaaaaaaaaaarrrr!" in a cat fighty way, and I said oh, no. Roger likes to squeeze under the fence and hang on Peg's deck, which I always assumed was sort of safe because she has a giant fence, too. But what if some other cat was over there?

"Roger!" I called.

And he jumped out of the tree right above me.

Sighhhh.

167 thoughts on “In which June tries to photograph things. Guess how that went.

  1. I HEARD WE ARE TALKING ABOUT FOOTBALL TODAY! AND ALSO FOOD! AND JUNE TOOK PET PHOTOS!
    Apparently the excitement overloaded my caps-lock shutoff. I am so effing pumped for the game tonight that I cannot stand it. Also I just put in all of my picks for my college pool. YAY FOOTBALL SEASON!!!!!!!!!!

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  2. Hulk, I’m with Mother too.
    Pamela SS,welcome back. I wondered where you were.
    Target Steve, are you ever going to get any again after Beth finds out you’ve been calling her a trailer park wife?
    June (oh, yeah, this is your blog, I should comment on something you said too, shouldn’t I?), I think your new camera takes much better pictures. I do love your not-quite-kittens any more. Someday we will be in the market for a kitten, but for now we have to settle for a hamster named Porkypine.
    I also recognized that MTM song, and thought it would be in my head all day, then Lisa with her comment about what old theme songs she knows reminded me of The Beverly Hillbillies, and now I can’t get “Come and listen to a story bout a man named Jed” out of my head. Any Foreigner song would be better.

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  3. I would put out for peanut butter m&m’s. But that may be the kind of day I’m having.
    I cook, clean, LOVE football, and put out (see first sentence). But, I’m nowhere near as funny as June!

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  4. Yes, Hulk, Mother is right on the money.
    I grew up with out my dad but had my granddaddy to pick me up everyday after school and I wouldn’t trade that time with him for anything.

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  5. You heard that song and couldn’t tell there was NO WAY Foreigner sang it?
    The guy with the Flock Of Seagulls haircut singing it didn’t clue you in that it wasn’t a 70s rock band tune?

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  6. Thanks for that fine tribute to Foreigner,June.
    Mother, well said! Hulk has been waiting for a girl like you to come into his life.

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  7. I have advice for Hulk. June has told me that you are with Hulkette every day after school, and that you go in to work early so you can have that time with her. That is priceless. Will she have to go to day care if you change your work hours? That’s a big change for her. You can never get back your child’s childhood. You are such a big part of her life now. I hope you won’t take a job that separates her regular, reliable contact with you. Both of you need that, especially her. I’ve never been a proponent of the old saw, “It’s not guantitiy of time, it’s quality of time”. That doesn’t work with kids. You can’t choose when she most needs you. Life will decide that, and by having reliable time with her on a regular basis you will be more likely to be there for her when things go wrong and she needs her dad. Good luck and congratulations on being offered a promotion.

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  8. Once (once! hah!) I was in a bar with my then-best friend, and this cover band was playing Bizarre Love Triangle, which I had never heard. “I love this song,” I said. “Who is this?”
    “FOREIGNER!” I heard my best friend shout at me in the loud bar.
    All night I was like, FOREIGNER? Really?
    The next time we saw that band (probably 24 hours later) I said, “Oooo! I hope they play that Foreigner song I like.” My ex-best-friend was all, “FOREIGNER?”
    New Order. That is who sings Bizarre Love Triangle. New Order. Not Foreigner.

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  9. FOREIGNER, Letha…
    I’m a Headknocker, Headknocker…comin’ on strong, a real show-stopper!

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  10. Hulk, will the new work schedule allow you to still attend Not Chloe’s games and school functions?

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  11. Hello June and People of the Pie.
    I’ve missed this blog, as I have spent the last 12 days away from a computer. I’m looking forward to all of the catch-up reading (laughing), but some Cliff Notes sure would come in handy right about now!
    Hope you all are well out there in Pie Land.

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  12. This just won’t work. June is as cold as ice, and Hulk is just a dirty white boy.

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  13. This just won’t work. June is as cold as ice, and Hulk is just a dirty white boy.

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  14. This just won’t work. June is as cold as ice, and Hulk is just a dirty white boy.

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  15. Are we talking nights and weekends here, Hulk? I worked nights and weekends for a while (GA girl that I am), and liked my job, but was constantly ruing(sp)the fact that I had to miss SO many things on a regular basis. And I had no Not Chloe.

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  16. Are we talking nights and weekends here, Hulk? I worked nights and weekends for a while (GA girl that I am), and liked my job, but was constantly ruing(sp)the fact that I had to miss SO many things on a regular basis. And I had no Not Chloe.

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  17. Are we talking nights and weekends here, Hulk? I worked nights and weekends for a while (GA girl that I am), and liked my job, but was constantly ruing(sp)the fact that I had to miss SO many things on a regular basis. And I had no Not Chloe.

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  18. Are we talking nights and weekends here, Hulk? I worked nights and weekends for a while (GA girl that I am), and liked my job, but was constantly ruing(sp)the fact that I had to miss SO many things on a regular basis. And I had no Not Chloe.

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  19. I am speaking from experience and in all seriousness…six figures and money does not make happiness. (if it did, i would never, ever contemplate moving out.)
    If the new position will interrupt the things you love to do now, it is my belief you will regret it later. Money can’t make up for lost time with the people you love and the things you love in life.

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  20. Not sure if it will be less time with Not Chloe, but it will definitely be different time. Probably cuts coaching her teams, playing on my own teams (not THAT way, June. Geez…)…That is why I said no til crazy money was thrown out there. Six figures it what it will take to bag June, eh? Hmmm…

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  21. God’s least favorite person? I don’t think so – we have that locked up over here in my corner of the globe. Rain and all. Sick cats. I could go on but it’s too depressing.
    Hope you get the job Hulk if it’s what you really want! Does it give you less time with Not Chloe?

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  22. Lisa, never made a Schwarzwaelder Kirsch Torte, but my fried potatoes are awesome. The best way to make them is buy the “Gold” Potatoes, boil them whole, with the peel (I use a pressure cooker, makes it faster), then peel them, cut them in slices and sautee some onions with a lot of oil and a pat of butter and add the potatoes. Add Salt and Pepper to taste and let the potatoes brown. Oh I am so hungry now. Would love to have you come over and cook with me!

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  23. Sandra, Since Hulk said he is a picky eater, like 10-year-old-girl picky, I hope he eats German food.

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  24. Okay, when I first read about June’s wanting a millionaire with a mansion and a yacht I wanted to scream “NOOOO, because you have to be more specific with your wishes! Otherwise you get stuck with Thurston Howell III, or IV, or even worse that pencil-neck twit V”.
    But if Hulk is going to be a millionaire, well then, by all means, go for it!
    Sandra, how’s your fried potatoes and Schwartzwalde Kirsch Torte? I might need to come hang out in your kitchen for some lessons!

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  25. Suddenly. Not certainly. “Who can take a nothing day and SUDDENLY make it all seem worthwhile. Well it’s you girl and you should know it.” Etc. etc. etc. I also know all the lyrics to The Brady Bunch, Gilligan’s Island, and The Monday Night Football theme song. Talented is what I am.

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  26. No gross German food! Things like Schnitzel, Schweinebraten, Kaesespaetzle, Geschnetzeltes. I also know how to make Italian food, I make a Lasagna that will make your lips pop off it is soo good. Mexican food if I have to and of course American stuff. No clue about football, but I will be in the kitchen anyways πŸ™‚
    “Strutting my strudel” made me laugh! I only have one dog, no cats and our pet fish just died.

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  27. I see.
    Well, since my boss would really like it if I show up for work today, and since I cannot goof off on the computer like some people; I will go.
    Best of luck to Hulk and his suitors, but not to his or Duffylou’s clowns. Duffylou, you know they have padding under their uniforms, right?
    Hulk, just because my sister lives in Georgia, it does not make her easy like all the Georgia women on this blog. πŸ˜€ Hi Letha.

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  28. I see.
    Well, since my boss would really like it if I show up for work today, and since I cannot goof off on the computer like some people; I will go.
    Best of luck to Hulk and his suitors, but not to his or Duffylou’s clowns. Duffylou, you know they have padding under their uniforms, right?
    Hulk, just because my sister lives in Georgia, it does not make her easy like all the Georgia women on this blog. πŸ˜€ Hi Letha.

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  29. I see.
    Well, since my boss would really like it if I show up for work today, and since I cannot goof off on the computer like some people; I will go.
    Best of luck to Hulk and his suitors, but not to his or Duffylou’s clowns. Duffylou, you know they have padding under their uniforms, right?
    Hulk, just because my sister lives in Georgia, it does not make her easy like all the Georgia women on this blog. πŸ˜€ Hi Letha.

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  30. Vat is dis Cherman food? Food you VILL enjoy?
    No, seriously, are we talking like blood sausage and head cheese? Because, EW.

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  31. The bengals are so going to be mewing all the way back to Cinci on Sunday.
    I drive by training camp every time I go to my daughters. Those are some mighty fine looking players.

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  32. I’m hip, TS…plus your Bengals are gonna get scored on more than your SISTER…

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  33. I read June’s comment as GET PLASTIC SURGERY FOR KITTENS and my reaction was WHY?

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  34. BUY JUNE GIFTS! SPARKLY THINGS FOR JUNE! PLASTIC SURGERY FOR JUNE! KITTENS FOR JUNE!
    What do you mean none of this was on your list? Also, Target Steve was right. Can you still eff around on the Internet all day and get home early to see Price is Right or whatever it is you do?

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  35. I love your animal pix, Junie Liebowitz.
    June, marry Hulk and get a cleaning lady. What kind of a geeeeenius turns down crazy money, Mija?

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  36. Marvin will write you a letter of recommendation…
    That made me laugh out loud…

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  37. Marvin will write you a letter of recommendation…
    That made me laugh out loud…

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  38. Marvin will write you a letter of recommendation…
    That made me laugh out loud…

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  39. When I lived in Minnesota and was much younger, I used to have microwave popcorn and Mountain Dew for dinner. That would never happen now as I am so well taken care of, but when I do eat popcorn, my innerds react unkindly in the middle of the night. Getting older is really not cool.
    Hulk, besides the obvious plus side of luring in gold digging hussies, would the extra money outweigh the comfortable life you have carved out for yourself now?

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  40. When I lived in Minnesota and was much younger, I used to have microwave popcorn and Mountain Dew for dinner. That would never happen now as I am so well taken care of, but when I do eat popcorn, my innerds react unkindly in the middle of the night. Getting older is really not cool.
    Hulk, besides the obvious plus side of luring in gold digging hussies, would the extra money outweigh the comfortable life you have carved out for yourself now?

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  41. When I lived in Minnesota and was much younger, I used to have microwave popcorn and Mountain Dew for dinner. That would never happen now as I am so well taken care of, but when I do eat popcorn, my innerds react unkindly in the middle of the night. Getting older is really not cool.
    Hulk, besides the obvious plus side of luring in gold digging hussies, would the extra money outweigh the comfortable life you have carved out for yourself now?

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  42. Congratulations, Hulk! We have a saying around here, “The answer is always NO, unless you ask”
    Now if we could get my husband a job. He would totally take “sane money” right now.

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  43. June! Did you THROW UP?
    Hulk, potential congrats! Dramatic schedule change is doable…or is it going to compromise your time with Not Chloe?

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  44. Hulk!! Really?!?!? I think this is the appropriate time to tell you I am deeply in love with you. Wait. Are we talking six figures? Because maybe I am just fond of you. Discuss.

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  45. Well. This is all VERY interesting.
    Hulk applied for a new job yesterday. Same company, different position. I wasn’t really looking, but this came up and the powers that be said, “You would be great for this job!”
    It entails a dramatic schedule change. Which I told The Powers I was not interested in doing unless there was “crazy money” involved.
    Guess what? There is “crazy money” involved.
    Discuss…

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  46. Apparently everybody puts your banshees in the corner.

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